divorce

[Old Dominion 26]

Your local legal aid society will help you if you qualify for its free services

[Candy/SadanNasir 2]

I need some advice of what should i do...

i got married to a u.s citizen in 2005 got my greencard and expired on 2018 im from philippines and my marriage is on the rocks.

but before my 1st year of my wedding anniversary i left with out knowing him.he think i run away with another man which is not true.

i left him because he is mean not physically.treats me like a maid.so i came back and i told him everything.and want to start over again.

but in the past years i look in the computer and i see this photos of a woman and i ask him about this and he said he dont know her.which

i beleive.then i saw this gay porn videos in my computer theres lots of them so i freak out and ask him whats going on inthis computer and he said

he dont know anything about it.then this time i caught him in the computer watching a porn like his payinh for it because i saw the bills that his going to this

porn site.so i move out from our bedroom because i dont want to talk to him or see him.separated but still living in the same house.im trying to figure it out what

should i do because he said his addicted to it.but i ask him why you married a young woman that dont get sex from you for years and even no kids.? he said he starts

doing this since i runaway from him.which is true but im totally hurt and confused if his hiding somehing from me like if his gay.i cant ask that question because i might get in trouble

asking that question.so right now im trying to sleep in the same bedroom so i can figure it out if this marriage goingto work out.his trying to change but he just bought another computer because he wants to have another one. i cant sleep nor no peace of mind.im working since we got married and my problem is i dont think i can trust him again im so stress

so my problem is if i file for divorce who's paying for the lawyers? do i have to pay him? and he always telling me if i divorce him, i cant stay here in u.s he will send me home and do the best he can do to send me back home.which i dont want to happen.i just want to move on and start a new life. im scared he will deported me.

i would be grateful for a good advice

thanks!

Forgive me for saying this, but your post contains extremely personal information. In the interest of saving your marriage, if this is what you wish to do, consider how you might feel if your husband posted comparably personal information about your life or his perception of it.

I'm not making a judgment, please don't get that idea, but really the person you should be talking to is your husband and possibly a mediator. If you love him and he loves you, I really think that keeping the communication open between you is the best thing to do and not looking for affirmation of your fears in a forum. Yes, I know: easier said than done.

I really wish - I this goes for all couples experiencing visa related stress - that you are both able to work things out between you and rediscover why you fell in love.

Remember what made you both feel so drawn to each other, was it amazing? Hold on to it then. I don't say this from a 'marriage is a sacrament' kind of view point, I just think that something like love is not always easy; it's often hard; it's a job: a relationship is, but the rewards make it seem like it's not.

I wish you luck and forgive me if my reply came off as overly opinionated in any way. I have been seeing way too many of these kinds of post today and my heart is aching because of it. I need to get out of this forum......

Peace friend!

CMN

Edited April 3, 2010 by Candy/SadanNasir

[ScottThuy 140]

try getting some counseling together before anything else... he is doing it for a reason and needs your help to get over it...

[Tahoma 2,291]

Forgive me for saying this, but your post contains extremely personal information. In the interest of saving your marriage, if this is what you wish to do, consider how you might feel if your husband posted comparably personal information about your life or his perception of it.

I have a news flash for you: you are on the internet; the internet is anonymous; there is nothing "personal" about the internet.

I'm not making a judgment, please don't get that idea, but really the person you should be talking to is your husband and possibly a mediator. If you love him and he loves you, I really think that keeping the communication open between you is the best thing to do and not looking for affirmation of your fears in a forum. Yes, I know: easier said than done.

Why do you begin your statement with "I'm not making a judgement, please don't get that idea, but..." and then go on to pass judgement? Instead of accusing the original poster of coming here to VJ "looking for affirmation of your fears," why don't you simply answer her questions?

I really wish - I this goes for all couples experiencing visa related stress - that you are both able to work things out between you and rediscover why you fell in love.

Hmmm...let's see...she already has a ten-year green card...and an abusive porn-addicted husband who is threatening her with deportation. And you think her biggest problem is visa-related?

Remember what made you both feel so drawn to each other, was it amazing? Hold on to it then. I don't say this from a 'marriage is a sacrament' kind of view point, I just think that something like love is not always easy; it's often hard; it's a job: a relationship is, but the rewards make it seem like it's not.

What love? It sounds to me like the original poster's husband pulled a bait-and-switch on her.

I wish you luck and forgive me if my reply came off as overly opinionated judgemental and misinformed in any way. I have been seeing way too many of these kinds of post today and my heart is aching because of it. I need to get out of this forum......

Fixxored.

Peace friend!

Peace out!

CMN

~ Tahoma

[biter 0]

can he report me into immigration what' s going on with my marriage to him?

he said if i move out. his going to withdraw his affidavit of support.

so i did' nt move out.

[Darnell 8,478]

Sure - he can report to immigration, anyone can do that -

but ..

at this stage, he cannot withdraw his affadavit of support. He can TRY, but he'll learn it's impossible.

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

can he report me into immigration what' s going on with my marriage to him?

he said if i move out. his going to withdraw his affidavit of support.

so i did' nt move out.

He can't withdraw his Affidavit of Support.

He can't get you deported.

You have a 10 year greencard, he has no bearing on your future immigration path be it Naturalization or Greencard Renewal. The only difference it will make is when you qualify for Naturalization (3 yrs as LPR married to him or 5 yrs as LPR if you divorce).

If you want out then leave and do it now as things will only get worse.

The mere fact that he needs to lie to you attempting to control you and keep you in a marriage you don't want is a bad sign of things to come.