Would you let your new family hijack your wedding?

[Lia792 5]

Hypothetically would you let your sister-in-law use your wedding judge to do her son's birth certificate just before or just after your wedding in front of your guests?

with the reasons that...the husband works out of town and is only in town on a weekday for your wedding

they are letting you use their garden for the wedding

when they had the whole last week when he WAS in town...and it's not like they can't go to the courthouse in the morning for the registration.

when they have been giving you heck telling you your tablecloth should be used for curtains and you are not doing things elegantly enough so they pressured you to change your reception venue to something more elegant/ plus they say they don't have ten minutes to help you with your hair so you had to hire someone? When, hypothetically, of course, you are in a foreign country where they speak a different language than yours?

Would you really be able to give them the customary air-kiss on the cheek 3 days later after they pulled a stunt like that or would you quite possibly consider eloping?

[Nina~ 431]

Hypothetically would you let your sister-in-law use your wedding judge to do her son's birth certificate just before or just after your wedding in front of your guests?

with the reasons that...the husband works out of town and is only in town on a weekday for your wedding

they are letting you use their garden for the wedding

when they had the whole last week when he WAS in town...and it's not like they can't go to the courthouse in the morning for the registration.

when they have been giving you heck telling you your tablecloth should be used for curtains and you are not doing things elegantly enough so they pressured you to change your reception venue to something more elegant/ plus they say they don't have ten minutes to help you with your hair so you had to hire someone? When, hypothetically, of course, you are in a foreign country where they speak a different language than yours?

Would you really be able to give them the customary air-kiss on the cheek 3 days later after they pulled a stunt like that or would you quite possibly consider eloping?

The wedding is just small potatoes in the grand scheme of marriage and life. Your wedding is just one day out of the many days you'd be dealing with his family. I suggest that you pick your battles more wisely with your husband's family, and let small things like these slide. In any case, if you do feel like you can not compromise with them, you should let you husband deal with it because it is after all his family.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

Sure, who cares. Weddings are stupid anyway.

[Susita 175]

Hypothetically would you let your sister-in-law use your wedding judge to do her son's birth certificate just before or just after your wedding in front of your guests?

with the reasons that...the husband works out of town and is only in town on a weekday for your wedding

they are letting you use their garden for the wedding

when they had the whole last week when he WAS in town...and it's not like they can't go to the courthouse in the morning for the registration.

when they have been giving you heck telling you your tablecloth should be used for curtains and you are not doing things elegantly enough so they pressured you to change your reception venue to something more elegant/ plus they say they don't have ten minutes to help you with your hair so you had to hire someone? When, hypothetically, of course, you are in a foreign country where they speak a different language than yours?

Would you really be able to give them the customary air-kiss on the cheek 3 days later after they pulled a stunt like that or would you quite possibly consider eloping?

I won't let my in-laws anywhere near my wedding plans That was your first mistake. When I heard that my SIL planned on selling beer at my wedding I kindly said "Oh well I'm hiring a wedding planner, don't worry I got this covered."

[Usui Takumi 1,562]

Yes I would. Its not a big deal.

[Susita 175]

Hypothetically would you let your sister-in-law use your wedding judge to do her son's birth certificate just before or just after your wedding in front of your guests?

well, the whole judge thing... maybe if they go inside after you're already married during 'cocktail hour' or something Otherwise, it'd be kinda tacky.

[Darnell 8,478]

this is so funny.

why aren't you using the water pistol to train up yer new inlaws? #######?

[Mr. Big Dog 10,747]

My wedding took place on her turf and my "new family" took care of the whole affair. All I had to do was show up and say yes. Best wedding ever.

[Darnell 8,478]

OK - a more pointed, thoughtful response (from me) .

Yer in Mexico. Family is different there. Concept of Family is different there. 'Accepted behavior' rules/guidelines/ettiquette is different there, as well.

Yer the guest, at their place.

Sure, it's yer wedding, but if you think about it - even though it's YOUR DAY -

you don't run the show.

Basically, they are offering you a great wedding day.

Anything else that happens, well, it's happening because of family,

not because you are there for a wedding.

I'm guessing it was a bit of a cultural shock for you.

If that's really the case, suck it up, don't mention it, don't pitch a fit.

If you've not gotten married yet, strongly suggest you ask yer fiance to have one of his sisters OR a female cousin be 'attached' to you, all day, to get you everything you need, in a timely fashion.

Family is important, in Mexico, you betcha. The FACT that they acquired a judge, to come onto THEIR PROPERTY, and perform the wedding, well - that make him THEIR judge - not 'your' judge.

Hang in there !!

ps - my comment about a 'water pistol' was mostly sarcastic - but - there was a point, ya?

If 'talking' doesn't work - if you can't get what you want via communication - then it's time to shift to 'how to train a cat' mode. How do you train a cat? You use a water pistol, each and every time, to CHANGE the cat's behavior. Words don't work, with a cat. A water pistol, OTOH, does.

[mawilson 2,133]

Sure, who cares. Weddings are stupid anyway.

:lol:

[Jenn! 918]

Sure, who cares. Weddings are stupid anyway.

this

[Darnell 8,478]

this

That.

[dakay ♥ 10]

distance between families is the most healthful for the marriage

[Fandango 1,439]

So, they're hosting the wedding, but because the spotlight is going to be off you for maybe 10 mins, you're gonna consider eloping? Hrmmm.

If they are your in-laws, I'm guessing they might want the fam to witness the signing of the son's cert. The fam's all there anyways so what's the ish?

[Lia792 5]

Aw, that was some good advice. When I wrote this, my honey had already gone to talk to them. Apparently, another relative had hatched the plan and supposedly the whole birth certificate thing will take place at a different time. It doesn't surprise me at all that this other person would try to take advantage of the situation; it just didn't make sense when we were told that the sister was trying to do this after all the complaining she did about all the details we had prepared. The sister has promised not to interfere with the wedding.

Susita, you so know what I mean with the beer-selling part. Yakad, you are so right. Darnell, I need a water pistol ASAP. I think maybe one of those paintball guns might be slightly more effective at getting my point across. (picture me in my wedding dress shooting out colored balls.) I did ask them for help on the wedding day, even just a few minutes to help me with my hair or someone to take me to the salon, and they refused.

It would be spoiled of me to act this way if they had helped to prepare any of this, but I, a foreigner, was left to prepare every single detail including an entire month of paperwork with the government and we had to practically beg them to even be our witnesses. I would have really loved it if they had tried to take over or even help with one thing.

When I was told that weddings are stupid, I did agree in a way, which is why I think I reflected on eloping - what I really wanted for my wedding was to elope to some beautiful place to be able to make a declaration of love just my "amor" and I. We'll have to organize a romantic moment some other time, I guess. And Nina Ballerina, I am of your persuasion, this wedding is what we need so my wonderful fiancee and I can start fulfilling our dreams together, so it's really just one day.

In case you needed help with that image:

My own family and I are dysfunctional enough, so I have no problem getting past a bizarre or thoughtless situation, but it was entertaining for me and helpful to get some reactions.