Constant Abuse and threat from US citizen(wife)

[lroper 0]

Ok here we go. I've been married going on 2yrs next month in good faith however things have been plummeting since a month after the marriage. I've been abused in all kinds of ways you can imagine, i've been punched, kicked, slapped and even spat (yes spit) on in public by my wife.

She's threatened several times to frame me up, she's constantly hit me in order to provoke me to hit her so she can call the cops but i'm not that kind to hit back. She's also threatened to get me deported if she doesn't get whatever she wants at the moment.

She has no respect for my side of the family and feels she can utter words and insults as she so desires. She has repeatedly voiced that the law will take her side because she is a 'white american young lady' and im just another african man. True i might be african but i dont believe anybody deserves to be constantly abused physically over things as little as me hanging out with a guy friend while she was out with her female friends. Or starting up fights when my mother visits on her once/yr trip to america. Or spending the first christmas with my mother in 7yrs. Or driving 7mins to visit my brother.

My condition GC expires in October 2010 and i am aware it can only be renewed 90days prior to expiration however i don't believe this marriage will last that long and i might have to consider the i-751 waiver. I am wondering what steps i have to take and evidence i have to gather to prove my case. I dont think i can take this much longer or i might wind up dead someday

ps: I recently got a police report. something i should have been getting since the beginning of this abuse.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Here's a few threads for you:

- http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=176532

- http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=196266

- http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=165282

Basically, I believe that as long as you can prove your relationship was a real one, you will be able to file for removal by yourself. There should be more info available.

I'm sorry you're going through this. It's a shame it didn't work out but as long as you can show proof I think you should be okay. It's good that you have a police report now. Try and get together statements from people about the abuse.

There is also something called "VAWA" that i think people on here will be able to help you with. Best of luck. Stay strong.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

I'm sorry that you are having a difficult time. No one - either a man or a woman - should have to put up with abuse of any kind.

Start to gather now the evidence that shows you married in good faith and have lived together in the same house as husband and wife for the duration of your marriage along with the documents (eg police report) that show the break-down of your marriage.

If your name appears on any bills or ongoing expenses of the house, make copies; if you have a joint bank account, make copies of the statements; if you jointly use a credit card, make copies of the statements; if you have been added to the lease or mortgage of the house, get a copy - or get a letter from the landlord or neighbours who can write an affidavit that they know you have been living at that address from such and such a date to when you move out. Are you listed as a beneficiary on health insurance or other insurance plans, on vehicle registration or insurance, do you share a phone plan with separate cell phone numbers; do you have mail that is addressed to both of you - (eg. cards, etc.) - try to save the envelopes showing the mutual address. Obtain copies of tax transcripts as they would show you both filed as married even if you filed separately. If the two of you have made attempts to save this marriage by going to counselling, try to include documents that show that as well. Obtain a copy of her driver's license and your's showing the same address - the same with copies of health insurance cards and memberships you have in common (eg Costco, etc.). Get photocopies of any photographs showing the two of you together during day to day life or special events

Once you file for divorce or if the violence escalates and you end up moving out it sounds like your wife would not co-operate to help you obtain the necessary documents so try to get them now while you still have access to them. If you do divorce, you need to file to Remove Conditions when the divorce is final rather than waiting until 90 days prior to your green card expiring. If your divorce is not final by the time you need to file, however, file anyway so you meet the filing deadline. You can then withdraw that petition and file with the waiver when the divorce is finalized.

Good luck to you, and again, I am sorry you are having this experience.

Edited January 7, 2010 by Kathryn41

[djturbo 0]

That sucks man! Good luck in the future..

[Angel and Gendy 1]

YOU call the cops on her! especially if she is stupid enough to do it in public.

[v333k 59]

Ok here we go. I've been married going on 2yrs next month in good faith however things have been plummeting since a month after the marriage. I've been abused in all kinds of ways you can imagine, i've been punched, kicked, slapped and even spat (yes spit) on in public by my wife.

She's threatened several times to frame me up, she's constantly hit me in order to provoke me to hit her so she can call the cops but i'm not that kind to hit back. She's also threatened to get me deported if she doesn't get whatever she wants at the moment.

She has no respect for my side of the family and feels she can utter words and insults as she so desires. She has repeatedly voiced that the law will take her side because she is a 'white american young lady' and im just another african man. True i might be african but i dont believe anybody deserves to be constantly abused physically over things as little as me hanging out with a guy friend while she was out with her female friends. Or starting up fights when my mother visits on her once/yr trip to america. Or spending the first christmas with my mother in 7yrs. Or driving 7mins to visit my brother.

My condition GC expires in October 2010 and i am aware it can only be renewed 90days prior to expiration however i don't believe this marriage will last that long and i might have to consider the i-751 waiver. I am wondering what steps i have to take and evidence i have to gather to prove my case. I dont think i can take this much longer or i might wind up dead someday

ps: I recently got a police report. something i should have been getting since the beginning of this abuse.

I am sorry to hear about your mishap. No matter what happens, remember that you currently live in the US - and the law protects EVERYONE. You said she claims that she is a USC and she can do whatever she wants to you and deport you - that is ridiculous. As long as you have evidence of abuse (like you said a police report or several reports) and she has none, she can say whatever she wants. The law will look at evidence and will be on your side - regardless of the fact that you are an African male. One other piece of evidence you can get is if you have USC friends who are aware of the on going abuse who are willing to write sworn affidavits - that would be great.

I hope we at VJ will hear from you again with better news.....

Good luck