how do you address your SO's parents

[Berber Mama 5]

I call my in-laws Hajj and Hajja (sp) as this is also what their children call them. I thought it was a little strange, but hey whatever they want.

[Dave and Helena 0]

Mom and Dad, which is what Dave wanted me to call them, the runner up choice would have been their first names. I do feel a bit disrespectful to my mom but on the other hand Dave calls her "Mom" so I guess that makes it even.

[_Simpson_ 250]

I call my SO parents Ma and Pa, to me that title has always been a earned title so I have a hard time calling my SO parents that and feel uncomfy when doing it but this is how her culture is and I understand that and dont take issue with it.

[SuperDuper! 230]

Shouldn't respect be measured by how you treat your elders rather than what you call them?

IMO, you should call your in laws what they want to be called - that's respectful whether it's their first name, mom/dad, or any other name.

But Jenn, respect is about how we hold people in reverence. So verbal respect is more common than physical displays of it, FYI.

Edited January 2, 2010 by Hopp

[_Simpson_ 250]

But Jenn, respect is about how we hold people in reverence. So verbal respect is more common than physical displays of it, FYI.

actions are more important than words, one can easily speak words they dont mean but to put on a show for a long period of time is some what more daunting. Isn't it fair to say ones actions toward you hold more clout than merely using a title.

Edited January 3, 2010 by _Simpson_

[And_Sam 44]

I call my husband's mom Sameh's mama because she always tells me that is who she is when she answers the phone! Like I don't know her voice! My husband calls my mom and dad, My mom and My dad. They get a kick out of that! My son in law doesn't call me anything that I have heard... but I do know he has me listed as "Mummy" in his cell phone!!

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

I call my SO parents Ma and Pa, to me that title has always been a earned title so I have a hard time calling my SO parents that and feel uncomfy when doing it but this is how her culture is and I understand that and dont take issue with it.

Talaga? So, yours is not the typical Fil-Am marriage, where the husband is as old, or older, than the wife's parents? You got to wonder what Jasman calls his in-laws!

[slim 1,533]

Talaga? So, yours is not the typical Fil-Am marriage, where the husband is as old, or older, than the wife's parents? You got to wonder what Jasman calls his in-laws!

Yeah, how does that work when you're older than your in-laws?

[SuperDuper! 230]

actions are more important than words, one can easily speak words they dont mean but to put on a show for a long period of time is some what more daunting. Isn't it fair to say ones actions toward you hold more clout than merely using a title.

The correct phrase is, "Actions speak louder than words."

But words are worse than sticks and stones, because they can hurt someone.

The tongue is such a small part of the body and yet so incredibly powerful for both good and bad.

A verbal wound can hurt as much as a physical wound. This is because the wrong words at the wrong time can ruin everything.

At the same time, the right words at the right time can change everything.

My challenge is to consider the impact of our words in the coming days. Things to consider include:

• Does this need to be said?

• If it does need to be said, how can I say it well without harm?

• How would I feel if someone said to me what I am about to say or just said?

• Are there words I have inflicted upon someone that I need to clean up? Even if the scars won't disappear, the right words now may heal the wound.

It's been said that if you who can conquer your tongue, you can conquer just about anything.

Peace.

[slim 1,533]

I don't really like when people "watch what they say" because it seems like they're being disengenuous when they do speak.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

I don't really like when people "watch what they say" because it seems like they're being disengenuous when they do speak.

Candor is the opposite of political correctness, and will get you farther in life, if you mean what you say. Even politics is built on promises made, and promises kept, not butt kissing and bowing.

[Gary and Alla 3,696]

Shouldn't respect be measured by how you treat your elders rather than what you call them?

IMO, you should call your in laws what they want to be called - that's respectful whether it's their first name, mom/dad, or any other name.

Maybe you are right, but the better part of two continents disagree with you and I am not going to try and change the opinion of a couple hundred million people.

Lest you think I do not "treat" my mother in law respectfully in lieu of addressing her respectfully, that would be wrong. She, being a good Soviet, WANTS to be referred to respectfully in the formal language.

[Gary and Alla 3,696]

But Jenn, respect is about how we hold people in reverence. So verbal respect is more common than physical displays of it, FYI.

And believe me, she puts me to work fixing things around her flat and takes me and the boys to the market and loads us up like a string of mules. We love to do it and she gets plenty of attention and comments from the other Babuskas who envy her "men" carrying all her groceries. LOL I have a blast going palces with my MIL, she is really a great lady...but I know somewhere she has a hammer AND a sickle hidden and is ready to use it if we get out of line!

[NickD 203]

My mom died at an early age, no problems for my wife, yeah, I miss my mom, this time the good died young. Mom-in-law doesn't speak a word of English, so I can call her precious, sweetie, hey good-looking, or whatever and she gives me a blank look, looking at her daughter for a translation followed by a big smile.

Formality seems to have ended in this country, my in-law kids call me Nick or grandpa when my grandkids are present, as do my niece and nephews, use to address my aunts and uncles as Aunt Maire or Uncle Sam, but I believe we all have an Uncle Sam, especially at this time of year. Uncle Sam wants all of our money.

If my step daughter calls me dad, she does every now and then, I know instantly, she is going to hit me for a couple of bucks.

I love my mom-in-law, always concerned that I have enough to eat and always cooking, and she does like to be called, mama.

Work it out.