Immigration with a disabled kid, need HELP !!

[Chamonix-Dallas 0]

Hello guys !!

I really need your help !! I'm desperate, don't know what to do ...

I'm french, married to a USC, mother of a 11 year-old daughter (from a previous relationship, french citizen too). We got married in the US, and are living in France. My daughter is disabled, she has developmental delays and a kind of autism. She is here in France in a "special school for special kids" where they take good care of her. She sleeps at school 3 nights a week, and learns alot (different activities : paint, music, swimming pool, poney, ...) she really loves being there.

First, i would like to know how difficult it would be to find a similar place in the US (in Dallas would be perfect !).

This kind of school is very expensive in France, luckily the gov pays for it !! I guess its expensive in the US too .... here comes my second question : i guess a financial aid is available to help poor parents of disabled kids. But as an immigrant, i wont have the right to ask for any financial aid, right ? Is there any other way ?

My husband plans to move back home, i'm afraid i wont be able to follow him. We are poor, its gonna be very very hard to do a DCF, because of the "affidavit of support". That's the first big step .... and if there is no way for my daughter to go to a "school for special kids", then i will definitely have to stay here in France with her, far away from my husband !!

I'm so desperate, i need your help and your advices !!

Thanks.

[anitacastillo 0]

I don't think you should take your daughter away from a very good situation for her - her school. And away from her bio dad.

[Chamonix-Dallas 0]

I don't think you should take your daughter away from a very good situation for her - her school. And away from her bio dad.

Thanks for your reply ....

My daughter has no more contact with her bio dad, he disappered years ago. My husband is the only dad she knows, he takes care of her and raises her.

[jellyfish 0]

I would ask her school. They might know of a place with similar ideas, or point oyu in the right direction. Any move you make will need the school to know, and a supported move with them on your side could only be a plus.

I can see probs perhaps with having health insurance for her, and enough finds available on hand to cover it all. So please keep those things in mind.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

I wish I had better news. If your financial situation cannot allow you to do DCF and cash is hard; you will have issues when it comes to the Affidavit of Support; considering your child will need vast resources while in the US. I doubt you will find the US social programs as willing and accesible as the ones in France. this will be a tough choice for you I bet

[Chamonix-Dallas 0]

Thanks for your answers ...... i just can't imagine we'll have to live apart because we are poor !!

I've already asked her school, they know nothing about similar schools in the US .

Does anybody know if there is a way to get financial aid for a disabled kid, being an immigrant ?

My daughter is happy with my husband, he is a dad for her. We are a family, i can't accept we'll have to be apart.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

One of the points of the Affidavit of Support is precisely to guarantee that the intending immigrant will not become a public charge. Any benefits that are means tested (like I think disability is) will have to be paid back by the sponsor, in this case your USC husband. If I were you, I would look up the school boards in teh are where you want to move. This will not be an easy road

[Penguin_ie 5,999]

Unfortunately, the US health system is very much based on self-paying/ insurance, the public options (even if they were available to you) are very basic and would likely not further her development. You may have difficulty getting insurance at all, due to your daughter's pre-existing condition, though depending on what (if any- the economy is bad here too) job your husband gets, health insurance that comes with his job may cover you and your daughter. Honestly though, I think your daughter is better off in France, as many of the best schools/ health programs for the disabled here are private, and thus very, very expensive.

In terms of immigrating, does your husband really need to come to the USA? Even if he does not have a job in France, the provision for unemploym,ent by the state are likely much better than what he/ your family would get over here. If you decide that you must/ can immigrate, and you cannot find a co-sponsor, the only way I can see is for him to look for a job now. If he finds a job, he can file the I-130 for you and any step children via DCF through the US embassy in France before he leaves France, then move to the USA and start his job, so by the time you have to submit the I-864 at your interview, you will have several paystubs to show them for the affidavit of support.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

and even then, like sister penguin said, insurance companies here are likely to give you a hell of a time providing care for your child, as it is indeed a pre-existing condition. So your husband would have to get not only a job; but a damn good one.

[Brother Hesekiel 2,236]

Despite the decline in many areas of life, the United States are still a fantastic place to live . . . unless you are poor, in need of medical care, or, worse, both. Having lived in 6 European countries where I never had to worry about getting ill and the implied cost of healthcare, I would strongly advise anybody to immigrate to the US who has a serious medical problem.

Viewed from a purely financial perspective, the US healthcare system ranks among the worst in the world, whereas France's is among the best ones, as the Government takes care of the health of its citizens.

That said, I can't comprehend that your husband would leave you, his wife, and your child and move to another continent. If he intends to, as you stated, your problem is primarily a relationship problem.

The job situation in France may not be as good as it used to be, but the US is facing the same problems, caused by a world-wide recession.

[Penguin_ie 5,999]

Not directly immigration related, but I did some asking around and have heard good things about these two special needs schools in Dallas. I am not sure if they'd serve your daughter's specific needs, but you may want to look at their websites, if nothing else it'll give you an idea of prices etc:

Oakhill Academy- for those with learning differences and also the Shelton School for those with learning differences.

[Chamonix-Dallas 0]

Thanks for your help and your advices !! I really appreciate !!

My husband don't speak french yet, its not an easy language to learn. Speaking only english, he can't get any job here, can't get a french drivers license, .... Life is not fun here for him. If we move to the US, we both could get a job, and he would have a better life, and i would be happier if he is happy ! All his family is in Texas, while we don't really have family here in France.

Would it make it easier if he adopts my daughter ?

[Anh map 2,098]

The prudent thing would be for your husband and you to do the research so that you can determine what is available in the area that you would like to live. Contacting the local school system would be a good thing to do. They ought to be able to give you guidance, it's their industry.

After learning about your options then you can decide as a family what is best for all.

[Chamonix-Dallas 0]

Not directly immigration related, but I did some asking around and have heard good things about these two special needs schools in Dallas. I am not sure if they'd serve your daughter's specific needs, but you may want to look at their websites, if nothing else it'll give you an idea of prices etc:

Oakhill Academy- for those with learning differences and also the Shelton School for those with learning differences.

Thank you so much for the links !! Im looking at their websites right now ....

[jellyfish 0]

I know of folk who work in London then commute back to France on the weekend....

On adoption, my husband is adopting my daughter. Her father is dead. We just want the optimal most emotionally secure environment for her. She has to feel we are both there for her. Leaving so much family behind. It will not/would not affect any immigration stuff till it had been passed for two year.s This isn't our motivation in doing it though, it is a personal thing between him and her. Something that has grown. We want to file for that when we are all living in the same place. I also cannot bear the idea of her reaching to him for help and any legal niceties stopping him holding her hand in hospital or something. I have seen that nightmare.

Does not affect her medical insurance through him, covered just the same. Will not affect immigration. It means all the world to us though.

I think you are in a hard place right now. Can't help feeling you are being torn.

Life is just not fair sometimes, and I have given up expecting that. I live miracle to miracle.