Immigration with a disabled kid, need HELP !!

[Mary Lou 673]

I know medecine in the US is years ahead about brain and autism.

Sure. That's probably why--just to name one example--the late Farah Fawcett, an American female with brain cancer, flew for years to Europe for successful treatment after the American doctors admitted they can't help her.

Now we 're twisting this into a argument against "socialist medicine?"

Actually, Farah Fawcett died from ####### cancer, not brain cancer.

[rebeccajo 14]

Don't do it! Healthcare for your child will cost you an arm and a leg. I know life in France is hard for your husband but your daughter is in a good place right now.

Does anyone else know how preexisting conditions would work in her daughter's case? I would be scared of that.

If her husband got a job with health insurance, as a new hire they usually offer an "open enrollment" which waives pre-existing conditions

Health insurance isn't going to cover care for this child. It might cover a brain surgery and it might cover some therapy. But it certainly isn't going to provide for special schooling, etc.

The type of social services needed by the OP's daughter are usually covered by Medicaid in the state of residence. If the OP intends to live in Texas, I suggest she research the Department of Human Services in that state.

Personally I believe the child would be better off in France.

[Chamonix-Dallas 0]

Depending on the state laws, the school district, their protocols, etc etc some treatment MAY be available as a resident of an area...

I would have your husband research those aspects of his intended new residence.

What this will NOT include is medical treatment, medications, horse therapy, or residential stays most likely. BUT, your child may qualify for school sponsored speech therapy, a student aid, etc.

I only know NJ rules [and only in passing having worked with a special ed educator and having friends in admin] - but in NJ the child study team with the family will come up with a plan, in some cases sending the student to an appropriate school if the child can't be mainstreamed. I actually spent classroom time with a child who had spent 6 years at a special school out of state since no in-state school was appropriate [this was paid for by the local school district]. When his condition improved enough to be in special ed classes, he was returned to the local school district.

It's something to look into but different states will have different schools and you may need to fight hard for it....

This is true. Check the state education laws. We live in Vermont. In Vermont each child age 6-16 (minimum, actually goes through high school, but students can drop out at age 16) MUST be provided with a public (free) education (free is a misnomer...we pay plenty in taxes on our property) For example, when our 13 year old showed up speaking only limited English and the ONLY non-native Englsih speaking student in his school, the school was REQUIRED to hire a special ESL teacher for him. Fortunately he did well and by Christmas no longer needed this and finished the year promoted TWO grade levels above where he started and 5th in his regular English class. OK, bragging over.

At any rate, the schools in Vermont would be required to provide whatever your child needed for an education regardless of cost. But as mentioned above this would only apply to special needs at school. Her other needs are all yours but may be covered by insurance if your husband can get a job here. Many other states have similar rules

Thanks for this information ! My daughter doesn't need an expensive medical treatment, only she has a developmental delay, she is 11 yo, but her grade level would be early childhood. She would need help to learn english, and an early childhood grade level education. Im gonna ask a school district in Dallas about this.

[Chamonix-Dallas 0]

US is tough in terms of health care.

France is great for health care and medicine quality.

I am moving to the US with my husband because he can afford

else I would have stayed in France.

also we will maybe go back one day

I think Your husband should still try France

I am afraid you will have to come back or you get ruined by the attempt to move to the US

what about French classes for your husband. You may find free ones.

Also he needs to go to town a little and make some friends

No wonder he wants to go back to the US if he only sees you.

Help him to get new friendships , get into associations

My husband's family lives in Texas, they miss us, we miss them ! We have no more contact with my family here in France. We have some friends, but you know the french are very "cold", they are not friendly like the americans !

We plan to move into an appartment in town, would be easier for my husband to go out. We are currently living in a "chalet", 5 km from town, our only neighbors are cows ! He depends on me for everything, that's not good ! He went to french classes for a while, but didn't like it.

We are also thinking about adoption. If my daughter becomes his daughter, this would help alot.

[Chamonix-Dallas 0]

I know medecine in the US is years ahead about brain and autism.

Sure. That's probably why--just to name one example--the late Farah Fawcett, an American female with brain cancer, flew for years to Europe for successful treatment after the American doctors admitted they can't help her.

Now we 're twisting this into a argument against "socialist medicine?"

Actually, Farah Fawcett died from ####### cancer, not brain cancer.

Right, she died from ####### cancer !! And i wasn't talking about cancer, but about brain disorders and autism. And i know alot of french parents try to take their child to the US to get appropriate treatments they can't get here in Europe.

[rebeccajo 14]

Seems to me like it would be simpler and better for your child if you all moved into town and your husband learned to speak French so he could get a job.

You do understand that there are very few social safety nets in the United States, right? Do you understand that the Federal government has no national health insurance scheme? Perhaps more appropriately, do you understand that the United States has no national scheme for providing care for the disabled? Care for the disabled is left to the individual states. Do you understand that most states have dismantled systems that were in place years ago for care of those with developmental delays? Care of the disabled is expensive and has been watered down in the US to small "homes" wherein there may be 3 or 4 residents cared for by minimum wage individuals. These services are provided by Medicaid within the separate states - your daughter likely does not qualify for Medicaid because she is not a US citizen.

I can assure you of this - there is NOTHING in the US where you can keep your daughter in your care (most of the time) and send her off three nights a week so you can get a 'break'.

The US is not the place to be if you have a disability and can't afford to take care of yourself. My own Mother is disabled. I imagine that your daughter might need a wheelchair? Other mobility devices? Devices for incontinence? Here's a website that lists the costs of medical devices in the US. If you have health insurance in the US, (which you won't have unless your husband has a job) the insurance MAY pay a portion for this equipment. I'm sure you are paying NOTHING for these things right now.

http://www.specialtymedicalsupply.com/

If your daughter ever gets to the point she needs an electric mobility device, those are in the thousands of dollars.

Sorry - I'm not going to sugar coat this for you. I work in the mental health profession and I've got a Mother with disabilities. Your husband needs to get over missing the good ol' USA, learn French, and get a J-O-B job. And you need to put your daughter's care over his 'unhappiness'.

[rebeccajo 14]

Here is a website that describes how Medicaid waiver works:

http://www.tash.org/mdnewdirections/medicaid.htm

There are two parts to Medicaid eligibility. One is financial eligibility. Medicaid is a means-tested program. To qualify for Medicaid, a person cannot have income or assets that exceed the amounts that the state has specified. The second leg of eligibility is whether a person is a member of a "group" that recognized in federal law (e.g., people with disabilities who receive federal Supplemental Security Income (SSI) benefits). In order to receive Medicaid services, a person has to meet both tests. "Mandatory" groups (e.g., individuals that all states must serve) essentially include SSI recipients and children who live in very low-income households. But, there are many options or "doors" available to states to widen Medicaid eligibility beyond the mandatory groups. People with developmental disabilities qualify for Medicaid by meeting financial eligibility tests and being members of recognized but broader groups (e.g., individuals with disabilities). It is important to understand that over the past fifteen years, federal Medicaid policy has changed to permit states to offer Medicaid services to more groups of individuals who do not actually receive public assistance payments. Medicaid no longer is closely tied to "welfare." Even though the program is still means-tested, new mandates and options have been added so that individuals and families who have income above the poverty line can pass through the portal.

[anitacastillo 0]

Your husband needs to get over missing the good ol' USA, learn French, and get a J-O-B job. And you need to put your daughter's care over his 'unhappiness'.

:thumbs:

Excellent post Rebecca!

[Lili 3]

Seems to me like it would be simpler and better for your child if you all moved into town and your husband learned to speak French so he could get a job.

You do understand that there are very few social safety nets in the United States, right? Do you understand that the Federal government has no national health insurance scheme? Perhaps more appropriately, do you understand that the United States has no national scheme for providing care for the disabled? Care for the disabled is left to the individual states. Do you understand that most states have dismantled systems that were in place years ago for care of those with developmental delays? Care of the disabled is expensive and has been watered down in the US to small "homes" wherein there may be 3 or 4 residents cared for by minimum wage individuals. These services are provided by Medicaid within the separate states - your daughter likely does not qualify for Medicaid because she is not a US citizen.

I can assure you of this - there is NOTHING in the US where you can keep your daughter in your care (most of the time) and send her off three nights a week so you can get a 'break'.

The US is not the place to be if you have a disability and can't afford to take care of yourself. My own Mother is disabled. I imagine that your daughter might need a wheelchair? Other mobility devices? Devices for incontinence? Here's a website that lists the costs of medical devices in the US. If you have health insurance in the US, (which you won't have unless your husband has a job) the insurance MAY pay a portion for this equipment. I'm sure you are paying NOTHING for these things right now.

http://www.specialtymedicalsupply.com/

If your daughter ever gets to the point she needs an electric mobility device, those are in the thousands of dollars.

Sorry - I'm not going to sugar coat this for you. I work in the mental health profession and I've got a Mother with disabilities. Your husband needs to get over missing the good ol' USA, learn French, and get a J-O-B job. And you need to put your daughter's care over his 'unhappiness'.

I have to second this. I am French and have seen the healthcare in both countries. It is unfortunately too easy to lose your health insurance these days to risk the happiness of your daughter. Let's say your husband gets a job providing health insurance for all of you. The insurance covers some of the care needed for your doctor. Your husband gets laid off for x and y reasons. The insurance is over. You may be able to pay for Cobra for a while but that is it.

I've seen people working while doing chemo by fear of losing their jobs. Even myself, I didn't see a dentist for years because I didn't have dental insurance.

I don't want to turn this into a healtcare debate, but healthcare is only great here if you can afford it. And for constant care for people like your daughter, your insurance might fight you for it.

[Brother Hesekiel 2,235]

I visited 32 countries and lived in 8 of them (7 in Europe plus India). Now living near Santa Barbara and a stone throw away from the beach, I hit the jackpot as closely as possible. My favorite places to live in are Santa Barbara and Monaco.

I love the US for what it is, the country of unlimited possibilities. It's the greatest country in the World if you have money. My business partner's daughter, now 13, goes to the most affordable charter school in Santa Barbara: $850 per month. She was in a public school and despite being incredibly motivated and smart, learned nothing.

If you want to become the best MD or JD you can be, visiting Harvard or Yale or any Ivy League school is as good as it gets. A year will cost you about $40,000 including room and board. You need to figure in 7 or 8 years, ballpark, that's over a quarter million dollars.

I currently have no health insurance. I initially paid $273 for myself in 1992, which was raised to $850 by last year. Then they threw me out because of high blood pressure, which is bogus (long story). Before I was dropped, I paid $12,800 per year for myself, my wife, and my family.

If I were sick, I wouldn't want to live in the US. I would choose Sweden (lived there), England (lived there), or France (lived there).

If I were a bum, a loser, lazy, looking for freebies from the government, I would move back to Germany and ask them to take care of me. I would get an apartment and enough money to live on (as a bum).

Right now, thousands of people go bankrupt every month in the US, the majority of them due to health related issues, and the majority of those do have health insurance.

If you are poor or need medical attention, stay away from the US for now. This all might change if we become a public option where applicants cannot anymore denied coverage due to preexisting conditions. It will never be as good as single payer, but it would change everything.

Learning French is much easier than coming up with $2 to $3K for a child every month.

[Jonara 0]

Hello guys !!

I really need your help !! I'm desperate, don't know what to do ...

I'm french, married to a USC, mother of a 11 year-old daughter (from a previous relationship, french citizen too). We got married in the US, and are living in France. My daughter is disabled, she has developmental delays and a kind of autism. She is here in France in a "special school for special kids" where they take good care of her. She sleeps at school 3 nights a week, and learns alot (different activities : paint, music, swimming pool, poney, ...) she really loves being there.

First, i would like to know how difficult it would be to find a similar place in the US (in Dallas would be perfect !).

This kind of school is very expensive in France, luckily the gov pays for it !! I guess its expensive in the US too .... here comes my second question : i guess a financial aid is available to help poor parents of disabled kids. But as an immigrant, i wont have the right to ask for any financial aid, right ? Is there any other way ?

My husband plans to move back home, i'm afraid i wont be able to follow him. We are poor, its gonna be very very hard to do a DCF, because of the "affidavit of support". That's the first big step .... and if there is no way for my daughter to go to a "school for special kids", then i will definitely have to stay here in France with her, far away from my husband !!

I'm so desperate, i need your help and your advices !!

Thanks.

It depends on the state. Texas, for many years offers very little state spending for disabled and community services but may have changed too. There are many public schools around the country for special needs children. I'll get some information and will contact you as soonest.