Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
SimoAndYvette

The First Year...

32 posts in this topic

Recommended Posts

Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Morocco
Timeline

Hello All!

It is Sunday night...almost the start of a new week, and I was wondering about everyone's first year actually living with one another....no more computers, no more webcams, no more Skype, International long distance calls...just husband and wife ACTUALLY living together: The Good (hope it is mostly this), the Bad and the Ugly - you know NORMAL married life!

We are coming up on one year Nov. 7th, and was just wondering how it is/was for everyone.

We had a pretty harsh 1st three months, especially the first month until my husband found work (think really big roller coaster ride...lots of ups and downs - that was definitely US! :blink: ) We knew the cultural and religious differences would be hard to adjust to, but did not KNOW how hard they would be. After that is was just getting to know what it is like to live with someone, and their quirks and "must haves" and "Do not do's"... that kind of thing. At one point at about the third month, I was actually MISSING the nights on the computer, when it was still the "Honeymoon phase" - I know you all remember that time!

Teaching him about how things are done here was actually fun - he did not resist it soo much, and since he is pretty independent he ventured out quite a bit. The first time I had to go find him after he got lost on the bus was funny....I asked him where he was and he gave me the name of a credit union and that was it....I had to look it up; there he was sitting on a planter waiting for me like it was the most natural thing! He had his driver's license and car within 2 months of getting here, so the bus thing did not last very long, but that is not to say the getting lost thing didn't!

I knew my husband was ULTRA responsible, but I had no idea the extreme it went to. If he knows anyone has an issue or problem, he immediately tries to fix it for them. It is one of the many things I love about him, yet I worry about him too. He tends to always put himself last. He goes silent on me (drives me CRAZY :wacko: )...he doesn't yell or argue, and I do not need like to fight, but I definitely need to settle things quick. I do not sit on issues and let them fester, and I get over things quick...he is totally the opposite. He can go days and days without saying a word!

Now, we just have this ordinary married life, saving to buy a house and hopefully send our son to Morocco with my mother-in-law when she returns there in a few weeks. So....now we are about to end our first year together in Colorado and am looking forward to each day (other than the silent ones! :whistle: )

So tell me about yours.....can't wait to hear from you all!

Yvette

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Morocco
Timeline

Our first year wont end until the end of January and it has been very much an experience. Mine is very hard headed, you can tell him something, he doesnt listen until a time later then he will say awwwwww now i get it, or he gets it when someone else tells him the same thing. He just changed jobs, got his first good check and so is on his way for that, got his drivers lic but really wont venture far from the normal routes. All in all its been ok, some good some not so good but now he works nights so is gone time i get home, sounds bad but it gives each some free time and not someone attached to your side all the time. I was getting a little tired of the (teacher) mode in everything but it is getting better


TIMELINE

04/04/2007 K1 Interview from H...w/the devil herself

06/12/2007 Rec'd Notification Case Now Back In Calif. only to expire

-------------

11/20/2007 Married in Morocco

02/23/2008 Mailed CR1 application today

03/08/2008 NOA1 Notice Recd (notice date 3/4/08)

08/26/2008 File transfered fr Vermont to Calif

10/14/2008 APPROVALLLLLLLLLLLL

10/20/2008 Recd hard copy NOA2

10/20/2008 NVC Recd case

11/21/2008 CASE COMPLETE

01/15/2009 INTERVIEW

01/16/2009 VISA IN HAND

01/31/2009 ARRIVED OKC

BE WHO YOU ARE AND SAY WHAT YOU FEEL, BECAUSE THOSE WHO MIND DONT MATTER AND THOSE WHO MATTER DONT MIND

YOU CANT CHANGE THE PAST BUT YOU CAN RUIN THE PRESENT BY WORRYING OVER THE FUTURE

TRIP.... OVER LOVE, AND YOU CAN GET UP

FALL.... IN LOVE, AND YOU FALL FOREVER

I DO HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, JUST NOT THE ABILITY

LIKE THE MEASLES, LOVE IS MOST DANGEROUS WHEN IT COMES LATER IN LIFE

LIFE IS NOT THE WAY ITS SUPPOSED TO BE, ITS THE WAY IT IS

I MAY NOT BE WHERE I WANT TO BE BUT IM SURE NOT WHERE I WAS

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Morocco
Timeline

I believe that by me living with Farid for a year in Morocco really got our married life to a great start here in the US.

He found a job almost immediately and he got his drivers license. We spend all of our free time together and we are still staying with my parents till I can get a permanent job and we can move back into my home that I am renting now. We got married in Jan of 2008 and I believe I made a great choice with Farid. I am hoping that things continue as they are now and we can live a good live together. The cultural differences have been minumum and I keep my religion and he keeps his. Oh and sometimes he does put his food on the accelerator instead of the brakes but I keep reminding him that he it is not his fault that he got his drivers license at the flea market. :whistle::wacko:


Oct 28,2006 Met online in Yahoo messenger
Dec 2,2007 Traveled to Morocco and decided to stay
Jan 7,2008 Got married in Zaio
Mar 2,2008 Got my Moroccan residency
Oct 23,2008 Direct Consular filed at consulate
Oct 31,2008 Got interview call for Dec 22nd
Nov 11,2008 Medical exam done
Dec 22,2008 Interview and got approved
Dec 23,2008 Visa issued, thanks to God
Jan 20,2009 Flew home to Texas.
Jan 21,2009 Living and working in Los Fresnos, Texas
Oct 30,2010 Filed I-751 Lifting of Conditions
Nov 2, 2010 NOA1
Dec 10,2010 Biometrics
Mar 23,2011 Approved Lifting of Conditions
Oct 28,2011 Filed N-400 Naturalization
Nov 02,2011 NOA 1
Nov 28,2011 Recd text/email placed inline for interview schedule
Dec 01,2011 Recd text/email interview scheduled,pending letter
Jan 10,2012 Interview Date
Jan 10,2012 Interview Cancelled and will be rescheduled per
USCIS as Farid can only interview after Jan 20th
Feb 23,2012 Citizenship Interview Date-Farid passed. Wohoo
July 6,2012 Oath Ceremony-McAllen Texas

March 20,2013 Petitioned for Momma

March 9, 2015 Momma arrives in Texas to live with us.

January 30, 2016 Momma leaves back to Morocco for a visit.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Egypt
Timeline

I too believe by having the chance to live with Wael before he came stateside certainly helped in our relationship. There were no surprises. He's the same now as he was then. His adjustment to the states was awesome. I also think what helped was having goals and then implementing them. He didn't rush into everything at once, took his time, and now he is confident and assured in reaching these goals.

He's been here 2 yrs and the time has passed so quickly. If he or I have a problem we talk it out. We've been doing that since we met which is the blessings of all blessings!! He can be stubborn, yet so can I. We just try to work out things before they can be misunderstood or out of hand.

This journey has been more than stressful for all of us going thru the visa process.

Petitions, documents, interviews, A/P, A/R, aprroved or not, RFE's, visits to and from, cultural

changes, DOS, USCIS, name checks, yahoo, skype, msn, calling cards, expensive phone bills, depression, crying, missing them....it could go on and on. My goal was to try to help him in the

best way to adjust without more stress. I was tired of feeling so stressed out all the time dealing

with everyone we had to deal with just to obtain his visa. We certainly didn't want more anxiety

and stress in our marriage. We worked and are still working hard together to make our life as

peaceful as possible.

May you have peace and joy in your marriage!!! Good luck to everyone.


200552682v4_225x225_Front.jpg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Filed: AOS (pnd) Country: Egypt
Timeline

This week Wensday will be 2 years that K has been here, it sure has been a roller coaster of ups and downs. But when it comes down to it all, we both love each other and thats what matters the most .


07/21/11 filed AOS off tourist visa

07/28/11 USCIS cashed check

07/30/11 Recieved NOA1 and Biometrics letter

08/24/2011 Biometrics

08/25/2011 RFE sent to us for some info we've already sent in

08/30/2011 sent in the rest of info USCIS asked for

09/13/2011 went to congressman's office to sign papers for expedite of work permit, due to financial hardship

09/15/2011 Work permit expedite approved!! He can finally find a job!

09/24/2011 work permit arrives

09/26/2011 Apply for social security number!

09/30/2011 Letter is sent for interview

11/07/2011 INTERVIEW!!!

Its 2012 and still no approval! Still waiting

01/27/2012 Letter sent stating that file was sent on for more review :(

9iad5hjppr.png

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Egypt
Timeline

Has AbuS really one of the MENA SOs here the longest?

My keys to a healthy relationship that only took me 4 years and 9 days to figure out:

*Eat dinner together a few nights a week, if not every night

*Cook breakfast together on the weekends

*adopt a pet you both like and then smother him/her with love

*Watch a tv show or movie together at least once a week

*Watch a documentary together and discuss

*Read a book together and discuss

*Find common interests and keep talking about them

*Go for walks at least once a week

*Turn off the TV and computer, especially if you find that one of you is on the tv and the other is on the computer

*Set long term financial goals along with a concrete plan of how to reach them, and then work together to make it happen

*Get out of the house and have some alone time each week, especially if you're both homebodies. Volunteering is good. I'm starting at a cat shelter (of course) and AbuS is looking into Big Brother, Big Sister.


10/14/05 - married AbuS in the US lovehusband.gif

02/23/08 - Filed for removal of conditions.

Sometime in 2008 - Received 10 year GC. Almost done with USCIS for life inshaAllah! Huzzah!

12/07/08 - Adopted the fuzzy feline love of my life, my Squeaky baby th_catcrazy.gif

02/23/09 - Apply for citizenship

06/15/09 - Citizenship interview

07/15/09 - Citizenship ceremony. Alhamdulilah, the US now has another american muslim!

irhal.jpg

online rihla - on the path of the Beloved with a fat cat as a copilot

These comments, information and photos may not be reused, reposted, or republished anywhere without express written permission from UmmSqueakster.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Egypt
Timeline

Also - yes, it does suck and yes, it can get better but only if you *both* realize that

a) you didn't marry an american

B ) he didn't marry a woman from backhomelandia

c) you've gotta meet somewhere in the middle and you *both* have to work on it

Of course, if he's happy becoming an american, or you're happy becoming a woman from backhomelandia, then great, I'm happy for you. But, even if you try that, there will still be some underlying cultural tensions.

Edited by UmmSqueakster

10/14/05 - married AbuS in the US lovehusband.gif

02/23/08 - Filed for removal of conditions.

Sometime in 2008 - Received 10 year GC. Almost done with USCIS for life inshaAllah! Huzzah!

12/07/08 - Adopted the fuzzy feline love of my life, my Squeaky baby th_catcrazy.gif

02/23/09 - Apply for citizenship

06/15/09 - Citizenship interview

07/15/09 - Citizenship ceremony. Alhamdulilah, the US now has another american muslim!

irhal.jpg

online rihla - on the path of the Beloved with a fat cat as a copilot

These comments, information and photos may not be reused, reposted, or republished anywhere without express written permission from UmmSqueakster.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Jordan
Timeline
This week Wensday will be 2 years that K has been here, it sure has been a roller coaster of ups and downs. But when it comes down to it all, we both love each other and thats what matters the most .

your grandson is a DOLL!!

Yazied has been here 5 months, so I will come and post in another 7 with our updates :P

These 5 months have been wonderful and we are adjusting nicely and easily to being a newly married couple living together, thank God.

Great topic, I like reading everyones experiences and advise. :thumbs:

Also - yes, it does suck and yes, it can get better but only if you *both* realize that

a) you didn't marry an american

B ) he didn't marry a woman from backhomelandia

c) you've gotta meet somewhere in the middle and you *both* have to work on it

Of course, if he's happy becoming an american, or you're happy becoming a woman from backhomelandia, then great, I'm happy for you. But, even if you try that, there will still be some underlying cultural tensions.

:lol: at backhomelandia


"you fondle my trigger then you blame my gun"

Timeline: 13 month long journey from filing to visa in hand

If you were lucky and got an approval and reunion with your loved one rather quickly; Please refrain from telling people who waited 6+ months just to get out of a service center to "chill out" or to "stop whining" It's insensitive,and unecessary. Once you walk a mile in their shoes you will understand and be heard.

Thanks!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Morocco
Timeline

Thank you everyone for your responses.... :D

You know one other thing....in all this, I had some pretty horrible things happen this year with my family: I had an uncle diagnosed with terminal cancer, and while dealing with his cancer his wife my beloved aunt passed away. It was devastating to us all!! My husband totally stepped in and took care of everything for us here at home and helped with funeral arrangements, made sure my cousins and uncle were okay....when it was all over, I was sitting home one night and I suddenly realized for the first time ever, I wasn't alone! Everything wasn't up to me to fix or get through alone...I turn around, and there he is! THAT has been the most amazing part of this year, no matter what I turn around and Said is there!

Hope to hear from more of you!

Take care all!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Nov 14 will be 1 year since hubby has arrived.

I certainly thought once the visa was in hand and he came that it would be all smooth sailing.

We had a very rough period of time, which thank GOD over the last few months have straightened out.

He did get a job within 6 weeks of arriving. Thank God for that! It gave him something to do, made him feel good about himself and he could help contribute to the household.

I am feeling more settled and hopeful these days. I certainly didn't go thru all this just to see it go down the tubes but it does take alot of talking and it is quite different living as a married couple face to face as opposed to thru a webcam for 1-2+ years.

He doesn't have his license but right now he doesn't need it.

We help each other out and he is learning more about what is available to him here, what he likes and what he may want to do in the future.

The first major thing for him will be to go back home, MAY 2010.

I feel that at first I thought the "visa" process was such a pain and stress, however, I didn't realize what was in store for me when he arrived and we go thru the adjustment and actually living together.

It is my hubby's first marriage and with the cultural differences that played a MAJOR role.

Not having been with a woman, dated or married certainly means there is alot of learning and compromising that needs to be had.

Well Good Luck All.

I have to say this has been one hell of a year for me in alot of ways and I just ask GOD to bring more

peace, happiness and prosperity to all of us who need it! (F)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Filed: Other Country: Morocco
Timeline

I'm not going to list out all our ups and downs but I am with Moody on this one, it was more like 2 years for us to settle in and work out the kinks. the rough times were rough, I wont sugar coat it, and I wasnt always sure we would make it, but right now we are one month away from our 5th anniversary. So those of you who find the adjustment period MUCH harder than you expected, take heart :)


Photo1949-1.jpg

5GTLm7.png

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Filed: Timeline

:thumbs:

I appreciate your honesty, Sara. We've had those not sure we're gonna make it moments, too. We've been together 5 yrs, married nearly 4. We still have ups and downs, but don't all marriages? Or at least most? I thought the "visa journey" was the worst but never expected that living day to day life would actually be the most difficult. I laugh now when I remember myself back in those "vj" days. What a wuss I was! :D

I have no real advice to give as what works for us may not work for anyone else. I will say that an open line of communication is real important. Also, lots of understanding on both ends. Some common interests help. I know this is TMI but an active/exciting sex life doesn't hurt either.

I'm not going to list out all our ups and downs but I am with Moody on this one, it was more like 2 years for us to settle in and work out the kinks. the rough times were rough, I wont sugar coat it, and I wasnt always sure we would make it, but right now we are one month away from our 5th anniversary. So those of you who find the adjustment period MUCH harder than you expected, take heart :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Lebanon
Timeline

On Friday, Abed will have been here for a year. Amazing how fast it has gone by. I agree with what everyone else is saying, it has its ups and downs. We had (and still do sometimes) have communication problems, I misunderstand what he is saying and vice versa. In fact, the second week he was here, right after our daughter's 1st birthday, I told him I wanted to do his adjustment of status to get his 10 yr green card and then I wanted a divorce. I won't go into why, as that's private, but we worked through that and a few other "big ones" and I think we are stronger for it. Even though I have never been married before, I think all in all, our marriage isn't that different than any other marriage out there, except for some cultural differences. I have to remind him all the time I am his WIFE, not his mommy...apparently I am supposed to be superwoman like she was, thank God she will be here in 2 weeks (!!!) to set him straight. Seems lately most our differences involve how we are raising the girls. His fave argument is that they aren't American. I don't even want to get started on that one... :wacko: But, through all of it, I am crazy in love with him :luv: and I know he is crazy in love with me ...we wouldn't have put up with each other otherwise!

Anyway, best advice I can give, COMMUNICATION is key, talk talk talk with each other! Oh, and like Astarte said, the sex life is pretty important too! :blush::whistle::devil:

God bless all your marriages and may He keep them strong and happy! (F)


OUR TIMELINE:

Met online: June 5, 2006

Met in person: February 5, 2007

Marriage: February 24, 2007 in Beirut, Lebanon

I-130 Sent: July 23, 2007

NOA1: September 4, 2007

Daughter Born: October 27, 2007

NOA2 (Both 1-130 & I-129): March 12, 2008

NVC receives I-129F, case # assigned: April 4, 2008 (They NEVER receive the I-130)

Interview Date: August 12, 2008

Visa in hand, 1 month exactly of AP/AR/name checks: September 12, 2008 (whoot! whoot!)

POE: October 16, 2008 (praying all goes smoothly!)

Abed arrives in Lexington, KY (FINALLY! What a rough trip for him!): October 17, 2008, 8:47am EST

Adjustment of Status:

Sent in April 16, 2009

Received NOA1 in mail: April 29, 2009

Biometrics Appt: May 13, 2009

RFE: May 11, 2009 (received May 14, 2009)

Sent in RFE (that we had already included in the original packet!): May 26, 2009

Resumed Processing: June 1, 2009

EAD Card Production Ordered: June 10, 2009 (thank you GOD!!)

Received EAD card: June 20, 2009

2nd Daughter Born: July 13, 2009

Interview Date: July 31, 2009...easy, breezy...Card Production Ordered!

Received 10 year green card : August 14, 2009

Baby Boy is born: May 17, 2012

Apply for Citizenship: October 22, 2012

Interview: January 11, 2013

Oath Date: April 12, 2013 (Covington, KY)

done Done and DONE!!! Praise God!

Now we get to work on getting his family to the US!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Egypt
Timeline
:thumbs:

I appreciate your honesty, Sara. We've had those not sure we're gonna make it moments, too. We've been together 5 yrs, married nearly 4. We still have ups and downs, but don't all marriages? Or at least most? I thought the "visa journey" was the worst but never expected that living day to day life would actually be the most difficult. I laugh now when I remember myself back in those "vj" days. What a wuss I was! :D

I have no real advice to give as what works for us may not work for anyone else. I will say that an open line of communication is real important. Also, lots of understanding on both ends. Some common interests help. I know this is TMI but an active/exciting sex life doesn't hurt either.

I'm not going to list out all our ups and downs but I am with Moody on this one, it was more like 2 years for us to settle in and work out the kinks. the rough times were rough, I wont sugar coat it, and I wasnt always sure we would make it, but right now we are one month away from our 5th anniversary. So those of you who find the adjustment period MUCH harder than you expected, take heart :)

I agree :thumbs: We've been together almost 4 years and he has been here 1.5 years. It has been total work for both of us but I agree with you Astarte...you make a lot of sense.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
 
Didn't find the answer you were looking for? Ask our VJ Immigration Lawyers.

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  
- Back to Top -


Important Disclaimer: Please read carefully the Visajourney.com Terms of Service. If you do not agree to the Terms of Service you should not access or view any page (including this page) on VisaJourney.com. Answers and comments provided on Visajourney.com Forums are general information, and are not intended to substitute for informed professional medical, psychiatric, psychological, tax, legal, investment, accounting, or other professional advice. Visajourney.com does not endorse, and expressly disclaims liability for any product, manufacturer, distributor, service or service provider mentioned or any opinion expressed in answers or comments. VisaJourney.com does not condone immigration fraud in any way, shape or manner. VisaJourney.com recommends that if any member or user knows directly of someone involved in fraudulent or illegal activity, that they report such activity directly to the Department of Homeland Security, Immigration and Customs Enforcement. You can contact ICE via email at Immigration.Reply@dhs.gov or you can telephone ICE at 1-866-347-2423. All reported threads/posts containing reference to immigration fraud or illegal activities will be removed from this board. If you feel that you have found inappropriate content, please let us know by contacting us here with a url link to that content. Thank you.
×
×
  • Create New...