5 Crazy Right-Wing Freak-Outs in Just One Glorious Week

[one...two...tree 2,762]

To give you an idea of the level of madness we’re looking at here, I’ve decided to share with you the five stupidest, craziest and most inflammatory things that right-wingers said over the span of a single week. When you read these things, keep in mind that these are the sorts of people Republican officials have to interact with on a regular basis. Indeed, the following five crazed tirades are almost enough to make you feel a little sorry for those staffers. Most of them came to Washington to act as soulless money funnels for corporate interests. Instead, they end up spending much of their time taking angry calls from some screamer who wants to privatize his local police force.

Number 5: John Derbyshire takes a bold stand against women’s suffrage

Last week, John Derbyshire, the National Review’s resident British crank, outlined a bold strategy to help Republicans return to power: by denying women the right to vote. The Derb explained that the trouble with women is that “they want someone to nurture, they want someone to help raise their kids, and if men aren’t inclined to do it… then they’d like the state to do it for them.” In other words, uterus-afflicted individuals should be barred from voting because they’re more likely to vote for people who disagree with John Derbyshire. Democracy in action!

Derb tried to show that he wasn’t completely out to lunch, however, by acknowledging that it’s highly unlikely that women will ever give up their right to vote. Of course, if women ever did find their right to vote repealed someday, Derb also said that he “wouldn’t lose a minute’s sleep” over it.

What is refreshing about Derbyshire is that he doesn’t try to hide his bigotry or to disguise it with code words – he just has it right out there. Derbyshire has been known to openly game-plan future race wars, to declare that blacks and Latinos are too stupid to educate and to write entire columns declaring his hatred for Chelsea Clinton back when she was just 20 years old. So in this respect, it’s not shocking that Derbyshire opposes women’s suffrage. What’s shocking is that it took him this long to say it.

Number 4: Erick Erickson threatens to dissolve his own town’s police department

Erick Erickson, the founder and managing editor of RedState.com, has a second gig as a city councilor in his hometown of Macon, Georgia. And apparently, the police force in that town is upset by low pay and long hours and they want to form a union. Erickson’s response? He threatens to simply abolish the entire department!

Writing at the PeachPundit blog, Erickson said that he actually asked the city attorney about the possibility of dissolving the police department. The attorney replied that police unions in the state of Georgia cannot strike or collectively bargain, meaning that any union the police formed would be essentially worthless. This didn’t deter Erickson entirely, however, as he said he’d still rather “contract out to the sheriff’s office than see a union come in” because unions “breed inefficiency, corruption, and taint.”

Regardless of how this ultimately turns out, you have to seriously question the intelligence of a man who talks openly of canning his entire police department. It’s almost as if he’s begging to be pulled over and subjected to multiple ####### cavity searches.

Number 3: John L. Perry urges a military coup against Obama

I knew that right-wingers would at some point start harboring fantasies of launching a military coup against Barack Obama, but even I confess that I didn’t expect them to come less than 10 months into his presidency.

But NewsMax columnist John L. Perry decided that the threat of Obamunism was too dire to ignore much longer and felt forced to go Full Metal Wingnut in his column this week. The piece was hilariously titled “Obama Risks a Domestic Military Intervention,” thus suggesting that if the military decided to launch a coup against the president it would be entirely his own fault. The best part about having a coup, says Perry, is that it would be practically guaranteed to be non-violent, since “America isn't the Third World” and “if a military coup does occur here it will be civilized.”

I’m not sure how this would play out in real life. I’m picturing military troopers storming the White House dressed in rainbow-colored uniforms and armed with guns that fire only flowers and puffy white clouds.

“Please come out to play with us!” the commandos would yell at Obama.

At any rate, this column was so nutty that apparently even NewsMax decided to yank it.

Number 2: Dan Riehl suggests that dead census worker could have been a “child predator”

While there is still much we don’t know about the death of census worker Bill Sparkman – who was found hanging from a tree with the word “Fed” written across his chest – it’s probably safe to assume that it wasn’t a suicide. Blogger Dan Riehl, however, took a bold new tack in the investigation this week when he used flimsy circumstantial evid… hell, it doesn’t even qualify as that. Long story short, Riehl speculated that Sparkman may have been a “child predator.”

Why? Because according to Riehl, “Sparkman's bio and work history suggests at the least he was not just your average guy. No teaching degree, no full-time means of employment and no wife or kids so far as I am aware. But he certainly did gravitate towards children. I can't help but wonder if this wasn't a revenge killing disguised to look like something else. If he did have issues in this regard and messed with the wrong kid, it isn't as if something like that can be ruled out until we know more.”

There are times when reading conservative blogs makes me feel outright dirty. This is one of those times.

Number 1: Conservatives everywhere declare that it’s their patriotic duty to stop America from hosting the Olympics

Conservatives are well-known for not only wearing their American flags on their hearts, but on their nipples and groins as well. But all that changed last week when Barack Obama began lobbying the International Olympic Committee to let his hometown of Chicago host the summer Olympics in 2016.

Immediately after Obama started his push, conservatives began attacking Chicago as a crime-infested hellhole unfit to hold prestigious international events. Fox News contributor Kimberly Guilfoyle, for instance, said Chicago had problems of “lawlessness, violence on the street, innocent bystanders being killed, children beaten and unable to go to schools.” The ever-classy Sean Hannity, meanwhile, decided to help Chicago’s Olympic bid by highlighting the story of a 14-year-old boy who was chased down and beaten with a pipe. And Michelle Malkin decided to do her part to help Obama by highlighting his “Chicago cronies Olympics bid.”

When Obama’s push failed, of course, conservatives across the nation leaped up in joy, apparently ecstatic that they had smeared the reputation of a great American city. (Ironically, winning city Rio de Janeiro has a murder rate more than three times as high as Chicago’s.)

It used to be that I felt I understood what conservatives wanted: strong defense, low taxes and no illegal immigrants. But now with their vociferous opposition to hosting the Olympics in their own country, I admit that I literally do not understand what the hell motivates them anymore.

Brad Reed is a writer living in Boston. His work has previously appeared in the American Prospect Online, and he blogs frequently at Sadly, No!.

[Heracles 417]

Number 1: Conservatives everywhere declare that it’s their patriotic duty to stop America from hosting the Olympics

Conservatives are well-known for not only wearing their American flags on their hearts, but on their nipples and groins as well. But all that changed last week when Barack Obama began lobbying the International Olympic Committee to let his hometown of Chicago host the summer Olympics in 2016.

Immediately after Obama started his push, conservatives began attacking Chicago as a crime-infested hellhole unfit to hold prestigious international events. Fox News contributor Kimberly Guilfoyle, for instance, said Chicago had problems of “lawlessness, violence on the street, innocent bystanders being killed, children beaten and unable to go to schools.” The ever-classy Sean Hannity, meanwhile, decided to help Chicago’s Olympic bid by highlighting the story of a 14-year-old boy who was chased down and beaten with a pipe. And Michelle Malkin decided to do her part to help Obama by highlighting his “Chicago cronies Olympics bid.”

When Obama’s push failed, of course, conservatives across the nation leaped up in joy, apparently ecstatic that they had smeared the reputation of a great American city. (Ironically, winning city Rio de Janeiro has a murder rate more than three times as high as Chicago’s.)

It wasn't conservatives who voted, it was the IOC. Obviously they too share a number of the conservatives concerns. Great American city. In whose eyes?. Americans. I find cynical pride in knowing the rest of the world shares my personal sentiments about Chicago and various other has-been dilapidated US cities.

Maybe if people didn't waste so much belittling those trying to point this out, you would wake up and smell the coffee; since now you're forced to taste the reality. Realize that ghetto and thuggery rap is not cool in other developed countries. Rio won the bid because the Olympics have never been hosted in SA. Not to mention they put up $11 billion for infrastructure alone, compared to Chicago's embarrassing $1 billion. Heck, China spent $40 billion. It really says something people want want an event hosted in a 2nd world country, rather than hosting it in the US.

Edited October 5, 2009 by Booyah!

[chri'stina 190]

To give you an idea of the level of madness we’re looking at here, I’ve decided to share with you the five stupidest, craziest and most inflammatory things that right-wingers said over the span of a single week. When you read these things, keep in mind that these are the sorts of people Republican officials have to interact with on a regular basis. Indeed, the following five crazed tirades are almost enough to make you feel a little sorry for those staffers. Most of them came to Washington to act as soulless money funnels for corporate interests. Instead, they end up spending much of their time taking angry calls from some screamer who wants to privatize his local police force.

Number 5: John Derbyshire takes a bold stand against women’s suffrage

Last week, John Derbyshire, the National Review’s resident British crank, outlined a bold strategy to help Republicans return to power: by denying women the right to vote. The Derb explained that the trouble with women is that “they want someone to nurture, they want someone to help raise their kids, and if men aren’t inclined to do it… then they’d like the state to do it for them.” In other words, uterus-afflicted individuals should be barred from voting because they’re more likely to vote for people who disagree with John Derbyshire. Democracy in action!

Derb tried to show that he wasn’t completely out to lunch, however, by acknowledging that it’s highly unlikely that women will ever give up their right to vote. Of course, if women ever did find their right to vote repealed someday, Derb also said that he “wouldn’t lose a minute’s sleep” over it.

What is refreshing about Derbyshire is that he doesn’t try to hide his bigotry or to disguise it with code words – he just has it right out there. Derbyshire has been known to openly game-plan future race wars, to declare that blacks and Latinos are too stupid to educate and to write entire columns declaring his hatred for Chelsea Clinton back when she was just 20 years old. So in this respect, it’s not shocking that Derbyshire opposes women’s suffrage. What’s shocking is that it took him this long to say it.

Number 4: Erick Erickson threatens to dissolve his own town’s police department

Erick Erickson, the founder and managing editor of RedState.com, has a second gig as a city councilor in his hometown of Macon, Georgia. And apparently, the police force in that town is upset by low pay and long hours and they want to form a union. Erickson’s response? He threatens to simply abolish the entire department!

Writing at the PeachPundit blog, Erickson said that he actually asked the city attorney about the possibility of dissolving the police department. The attorney replied that police unions in the state of Georgia cannot strike or collectively bargain, meaning that any union the police formed would be essentially worthless. This didn’t deter Erickson entirely, however, as he said he’d still rather “contract out to the sheriff’s office than see a union come in” because unions “breed inefficiency, corruption, and taint.”

Regardless of how this ultimately turns out, you have to seriously question the intelligence of a man who talks openly of canning his entire police department. It’s almost as if he’s begging to be pulled over and subjected to multiple ####### cavity searches.

Number 3: John L. Perry urges a military coup against Obama

I knew that right-wingers would at some point start harboring fantasies of launching a military coup against Barack Obama, but even I confess that I didn’t expect them to come less than 10 months into his presidency.

But NewsMax columnist John L. Perry decided that the threat of Obamunism was too dire to ignore much longer and felt forced to go Full Metal Wingnut in his column this week. The piece was hilariously titled “Obama Risks a Domestic Military Intervention,” thus suggesting that if the military decided to launch a coup against the president it would be entirely his own fault. The best part about having a coup, says Perry, is that it would be practically guaranteed to be non-violent, since “America isn't the Third World” and “if a military coup does occur here it will be civilized.”

I’m not sure how this would play out in real life. I’m picturing military troopers storming the White House dressed in rainbow-colored uniforms and armed with guns that fire only flowers and puffy white clouds.

“Please come out to play with us!” the commandos would yell at Obama.

At any rate, this column was so nutty that apparently even NewsMax decided to yank it.

Number 2: Dan Riehl suggests that dead census worker could have been a “child predator”

While there is still much we don’t know about the death of census worker Bill Sparkman – who was found hanging from a tree with the word “Fed” written across his chest – it’s probably safe to assume that it wasn’t a suicide. Blogger Dan Riehl, however, took a bold new tack in the investigation this week when he used flimsy circumstantial evid… hell, it doesn’t even qualify as that. Long story short, Riehl speculated that Sparkman may have been a “child predator.”

Why? Because according to Riehl, “Sparkman's bio and work history suggests at the least he was not just your average guy. No teaching degree, no full-time means of employment and no wife or kids so far as I am aware. But he certainly did gravitate towards children. I can't help but wonder if this wasn't a revenge killing disguised to look like something else. If he did have issues in this regard and messed with the wrong kid, it isn't as if something like that can be ruled out until we know more.”

There are times when reading conservative blogs makes me feel outright dirty. This is one of those times.

Number 1: Conservatives everywhere declare that it’s their patriotic duty to stop America from hosting the Olympics

Conservatives are well-known for not only wearing their American flags on their hearts, but on their nipples and groins as well. But all that changed last week when Barack Obama began lobbying the International Olympic Committee to let his hometown of Chicago host the summer Olympics in 2016.

Immediately after Obama started his push, conservatives began attacking Chicago as a crime-infested hellhole unfit to hold prestigious international events. Fox News contributor Kimberly Guilfoyle, for instance, said Chicago had problems of “lawlessness, violence on the street, innocent bystanders being killed, children beaten and unable to go to schools.” The ever-classy Sean Hannity, meanwhile, decided to help Chicago’s Olympic bid by highlighting the story of a 14-year-old boy who was chased down and beaten with a pipe. And Michelle Malkin decided to do her part to help Obama by highlighting his “Chicago cronies Olympics bid.”

When Obama’s push failed, of course, conservatives across the nation leaped up in joy, apparently ecstatic that they had smeared the reputation of a great American city. (Ironically, winning city Rio de Janeiro has a murder rate more than three times as high as Chicago’s.)

It used to be that I felt I understood what conservatives wanted: strong defense, low taxes and no illegal immigrants. But now with their vociferous opposition to hosting the Olympics in their own country, I admit that I literally do not understand what the hell motivates them anymore.

Brad Reed is a writer living in Boston. His work has previously appeared in the American Prospect Online, and he blogs frequently at Sadly, No!.

To the bolded - well conservatives don't all fit into this writers cookie cutter view of them. Too bad, since it's so easy to pretend they are all the same.

[Gary and Alla 3,696]

Now for the conservative response

1. Liberals and women's groups ignore liberal Dave Letterman's abuse and harrassement of women on the set of his CBS late night talk show.

2. Liberals blame the loss of the 2016 Olympics for the USA on Bush.

3. Afghanistan gets worse, and Obama engages in a public, personal ####### for tat with the Commanding General over a war that was supposed to be ended by now.

4. Unemployment surges to 10%, 25% higher than when Obama takes office

5. No result from the Global warming summit.

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

Drivel gents. Utter drivel.

[Ban Hammer 14,665]

Now for the conservative response

1. Liberals and women's groups ignore liberal Dave Letterman's abuse and harrassement of women on the set of his CBS late night talk show.

2. Liberals blame the loss of the 2016 Olympics for the USA on Bush.

3. Afghanistan gets worse, and Obama engages in a public, personal ####### for tat with the Commanding General over a war that was supposed to be ended by now.

4. Unemployment surges to 10%, 25% higher than when Obama takes office

5. No result from the Global warming summit.

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

We could blame the loss of the 2012 Olympics for New York on Bush.

[Pooky 3,930]

We could blame the loss of the 2012 Olympics for New York on Bush.

You could but you'd be wrong. If I recall correctly, it was a mix up in votes for Madrid that handed it to London. Bush had as much effect on the voting then as Obama did this time.

Anyway, Brazil and the South Americas deserved a chance to host the Big Show this time around.

[Scott & Lai 12]

To the bolded - well conservatives don't all fit into this writers cookie cutter view of them. Too bad, since it's so easy to pretend they are all the same.

They're not??

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

We could blame the loss of the 2012 Olympics for New York on Bush.

You could but you'd be wrong. If I recall correctly, it was a mix up in votes for Madrid that handed it to London. Bush had as much effect on the voting then as Obama did this time.

Anyway, Brazil and the South Americas deserved a chance to host the Big Show this time around.

Of course I'm wrong, but no more wrong than those who are peeing their pants with glee because "Obama lost" in spite of the fact he had nothing to do with it other than making the trip and the bid started only 2 months after he even announced he was running for president. The partisanship is fartoo retarded to deal with.

Anyways, Paris and London were the last contenders for the 2012 bid and I thought London got it because Jaques Chirac insulted Finnish cuisine. The voting error was speculated, but not proven.

Edited October 6, 2009 by Trompe le Monde

[one...two...tree 2,762]

To give you an idea of the level of madness we're looking at here, I've decided to share with you the five stupidest, craziest and most inflammatory things that right-wingers said over the span of a single week. When you read these things, keep in mind that these are the sorts of people Republican officials have to interact with on a regular basis. Indeed, the following five crazed tirades are almost enough to make you feel a little sorry for those staffers. Most of them came to Washington to act as soulless money funnels for corporate interests. Instead, they end up spending much of their time taking angry calls from some screamer who wants to privatize his local police force.

Number 5: John Derbyshire takes a bold stand against women's suffrage

Last week, John Derbyshire, the National Review's resident British crank, outlined a bold strategy to help Republicans return to power: by denying women the right to vote. The Derb explained that the trouble with women is that "they want someone to nurture, they want someone to help raise their kids, and if men aren't inclined to do it… then they'd like the state to do it for them." In other words, uterus-afflicted individuals should be barred from voting because they're more likely to vote for people who disagree with John Derbyshire. Democracy in action!

Derb tried to show that he wasn't completely out to lunch, however, by acknowledging that it's highly unlikely that women will ever give up their right to vote. Of course, if women ever did find their right to vote repealed someday, Derb also said that he "wouldn't lose a minute's sleep" over it.

What is refreshing about Derbyshire is that he doesn't try to hide his bigotry or to disguise it with code words – he just has it right out there. Derbyshire has been known to openly game-plan future race wars, to declare that blacks and Latinos are too stupid to educate and to write entire columns declaring his hatred for Chelsea Clinton back when she was just 20 years old. So in this respect, it's not shocking that Derbyshire opposes women's suffrage. What's shocking is that it took him this long to say it.

Number 4: Erick Erickson threatens to dissolve his own town's police department

Erick Erickson, the founder and managing editor of RedState.com, has a second gig as a city councilor in his hometown of Macon, Georgia. And apparently, the police force in that town is upset by low pay and long hours and they want to form a union. Erickson's response? He threatens to simply abolish the entire department!

Writing at the PeachPundit blog, Erickson said that he actually asked the city attorney about the possibility of dissolving the police department. The attorney replied that police unions in the state of Georgia cannot strike or collectively bargain, meaning that any union the police formed would be essentially worthless. This didn't deter Erickson entirely, however, as he said he'd still rather "contract out to the sheriff's office than see a union come in" because unions "breed inefficiency, corruption, and taint."

Regardless of how this ultimately turns out, you have to seriously question the intelligence of a man who talks openly of canning his entire police department. It's almost as if he's begging to be pulled over and subjected to multiple ####### cavity searches.

Number 3: John L. Perry urges a military coup against Obama

I knew that right-wingers would at some point start harboring fantasies of launching a military coup against Barack Obama, but even I confess that I didn't expect them to come less than 10 months into his presidency.

But NewsMax columnist John L. Perry decided that the threat of Obamunism was too dire to ignore much longer and felt forced to go Full Metal Wingnut in his column this week. The piece was hilariously titled "Obama Risks a Domestic Military Intervention," thus suggesting that if the military decided to launch a coup against the president it would be entirely his own fault. The best part about having a coup, says Perry, is that it would be practically guaranteed to be non-violent, since "America isn't the Third World" and "if a military coup does occur here it will be civilized."

I'm not sure how this would play out in real life. I'm picturing military troopers storming the White House dressed in rainbow-colored uniforms and armed with guns that fire only flowers and puffy white clouds.

"Please come out to play with us!" the commandos would yell at Obama.

At any rate, this column was so nutty that apparently even NewsMax decided to yank it.

Number 2: Dan Riehl suggests that dead census worker could have been a "child predator"

While there is still much we don't know about the death of census worker Bill Sparkman – who was found hanging from a tree with the word "Fed" written across his chest – it's probably safe to assume that it wasn't a suicide. Blogger Dan Riehl, however, took a bold new tack in the investigation this week when he used flimsy circumstantial evid… hell, it doesn't even qualify as that. Long story short, Riehl speculated that Sparkman may have been a "child predator."

Why? Because according to Riehl, "Sparkman's bio and work history suggests at the least he was not just your average guy. No teaching degree, no full-time means of employment and no wife or kids so far as I am aware. But he certainly did gravitate towards children. I can't help but wonder if this wasn't a revenge killing disguised to look like something else. If he did have issues in this regard and messed with the wrong kid, it isn't as if something like that can be ruled out until we know more."

There are times when reading conservative blogs makes me feel outright dirty. This is one of those times.

Number 1: Conservatives everywhere declare that it's their patriotic duty to stop America from hosting the Olympics

Conservatives are well-known for not only wearing their American flags on their hearts, but on their nipples and groins as well. But all that changed last week when Barack Obama began lobbying the International Olympic Committee to let his hometown of Chicago host the summer Olympics in 2016.

Immediately after Obama started his push, conservatives began attacking Chicago as a crime-infested hellhole unfit to hold prestigious international events. Fox News contributor Kimberly Guilfoyle, for instance, said Chicago had problems of "lawlessness, violence on the street, innocent bystanders being killed, children beaten and unable to go to schools." The ever-classy Sean Hannity, meanwhile, decided to help Chicago's Olympic bid by highlighting the story of a 14-year-old boy who was chased down and beaten with a pipe. And Michelle Malkin decided to do her part to help Obama by highlighting his "Chicago cronies Olympics bid."

When Obama's push failed, of course, conservatives across the nation leaped up in joy, apparently ecstatic that they had smeared the reputation of a great American city. (Ironically, winning city Rio de Janeiro has a murder rate more than three times as high as Chicago's.)

It used to be that I felt I understood what conservatives wanted: strong defense, low taxes and no illegal immigrants. But now with their vociferous opposition to hosting the Olympics in their own country, I admit that I literally do not understand what the hell motivates them anymore.

Brad Reed is a writer living in Boston. His work has previously appeared in the American Prospect Online, and he blogs frequently at Sadly, No!.

To the bolded - well conservatives don't all fit into this writers cookie cutter view of them. Too bad, since it's so easy to pretend they are all the same.

I agree with you, Stina. I don't think the term 'conservative' is really the label for the people the author of that piece was talking about.

[Pooky 3,930]

We could blame the loss of the 2012 Olympics for New York on Bush.

You could but you'd be wrong. If I recall correctly, it was a mix up in votes for Madrid that handed it to London. Bush had as much effect on the voting then as Obama did this time.

Anyway, Brazil and the South Americas deserved a chance to host the Big Show this time around.

Of course I'm wrong, but no more wrong than those who are peeing their pants with glee because "Obama lost" in spite of the fact he had nothing to do with it other than making the trip and the bid started only 2 months after he even announced he was running for president. The partisanship is fartoo retarded to deal with.

Anyways, Paris and London were the last contenders for the 2012 bid and I thought London got it because Jaques Chirac insulted Finnish cuisine. The voting error was speculated, but not proven.

That was the final round. If the Madrid vote had got their act together, it would have been Madrid vs Paris, and Paris would still have lost.

As for the partisanship over Obama's trip to Bacon-land, Big Fat Hairy Deal. He went. Chicago didn't win.

Righties - get over the fact that Obama went and Chicago didn't win. He didn't scupper the bid single-handedly. He wasn't a factor.

Lefties - get over the fact that Obama went and Chicago didn't win. It's not a slap in the face for the American President. He wasn't a factor.

The thing that gets me is the reports saying that Chicago was a "front-runner". Maybe in the minds of the American media, but the rest of the world didn't quite think so. Rio was up there as the sentimental favourite and the bookies favourite. For a change, the IOC made the right choice.

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

It cracks me up that people want to make a partisan political issue out of an Olympic bid.

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

Well America has had either the winter or summer Olympics in 1980, 1984, 1996 and 2002....it makes sense for it wait a bit to get it again

[rebeccajo 14]