Would you let your Spouse party till the early morning on their own????

[luvaLimey 0]

You know, I used to think that marriage was for settling down and staying in every night, and it drove me crazy to be locked away from the world, not allowed to have my own friends, and to only go out with my husband, and only to dinner when we did. That's why he's now an ex-husband, and why my fiance is the kind of man who doesn't make rules about when or with whom I can do things with. He actually tries to encourage me to get out more than I do now. He also trusts me that I wouldn't fool around on him.

Marriage is not supposed to be the end of your life, the end of your fun. It's supposed to be the beginning of your life with someone you love. And that's what you're supposed to do: live. Don't roll over and die and waste your life away indoors, and don't expect them to either.

It's true that if you have similar temperaments, it'll affect how you think about this issue. Those who still want to be out there doing things, will go and be out there doing things. I'm not talking about going out with members of the opposite sex or putting yourself out there like that, I'm just talking about maybe going out with friends and having fun. Those people are generally attracted to people who also want to be out there living life.

Those who prefer to stay away from crowds, and enjoy a quiet evening in, will generally find themselves attracted to someone of a similar mindframe.

But just becuase your SO loves you doesn't mean they need to spend every waking moment with you. You do need time away from each other. All those times I locked myself in the closet just so I could have some time away from him taught me that. It's healthy for people to have friends outside of their marriage, and to still maintain those friendships.

Edited July 15, 2006 by luvaLimey

[babybunny 2]

being married and not clubing is not about being locked away in some damm house! where you get that idea from? I think we have our own comfort levels in our relationships if you dont - maybe you should look at what you call a marriage. for me and my husband we found each other. we been through too much of this immigration chit, only to be running the dayum streets drinking and partying. - I dont think so! if we gonna run the streets we do it togeather!! marriage is about having fun with your mate. to the world I am his loving and decent wife. in the home - I am his hoochie trick mama. understand?

he want a blonde it will be me. if he want red head that will be me. what ever he be wanting that will be ME!

Edited July 15, 2006 by babybunny

[mark_ira 0]

Well, I'd feel somewhat dejected if she left me home alone........

[Ban Hammer 12,897]

being married and not clubing is not about being locked away in some damm house! where you get that idea from? I think we have our own comfort levels in our relationships if you dont - maybe you should look at what you call a marriage. for me and my husband we found each other. we been through too much of this immigration chit, only to be running the dayum streets drinking and partying. - I dont think so! if we gonna run the streets we do it togeather!! marriage is about having fun with your mate. to the world I am his loving and decent wife. in the home - I am his hoochie trick mama. understand?

he want a blonde it will be me. if he want red head that will be me. what ever he be wanting that will be ME!

shall we call shon "mrs clairol" now?

[babybunny 2]

[Fandango 1,439]

One thing keeps being said which puzzles me. 'Marriage is for settling down' Now that's not my deffo at all, and it suprised me how many ppl feel differently (I'm not bashing anyone!! to each her own) So I'd like to hear from everyone what YOUR deffo of marriage is.

Mine is to share my life with the one person who will be by my side through all of life's ups and downs. To laugh with, cry with, party with, have fun with, lean on, work with, etc.... While I'm sure once children enter the piccie, things will slow down, I don't feel marriage is going to make me have this big reason as to why I can't do what I enjoy doing. Of course, I'm not talking swinging or anything sick that....but there is an 'I' in our 'We' just like there is a 'He' there too. Marriage to me doesn't mean we're tied at the hip every single night, or that we should be on the couch watching a movie instead of a stoppyback at the pub.

It's not about 'settling' down...maybe I just don't like the word settle, lol. It's not like 'ok I'm married, let's break out the fat pants'

And what's with the word 'let' being thrown around here???

[Joel Halfwassen 0]

Isn't marriage for settling down and not partying. Why get married if you still want to live the single scene. I am so not into clubs anymore with my marriage arond the corner. My So will not be aloud without me to party all night into morning by himself.

Not be allowed? Are you going to ground him if he does? Send him to his room or give him a "time out"?

Joel

[Joel Halfwassen 0]

marriage is about having fun with your mate. to the world I am his loving and decent wife. in the home - I am his hoochie trick mama. understand?

he want a blonde it will be me. if he want red head that will be me. what ever he be wanting that will be ME!

shall we call shon "mrs clairol" now?

Ah, I remember so fondly that day when my parents sat me down and told me about the birds and the bees. Several year later came an even more serious topic...what type of hoochie trick mama the family expected me to 'settle down' with.

[babybunny 2]

marriage is about having fun with your mate. to the world I am his loving and decent wife. in the home - I am his hoochie trick mama. understand?

he want a blonde it will be me. if he want red head that will be me. what ever he be wanting that will be ME!

shall we call shon "mrs clairol" now?

Ah, I remember so fondly that day when my parents sat me down and told me about the birds and the bees. Several year later came an even more serious topic...what type of hoochie trick mama the family expected me to 'settle down' with.

[Reba 2]

well, I see it this way...when my husband met me he knew full well that I spent my weekends drinking and dancing in a cage. He also knew full well that no matter how much I drank or didn't drink, that once I'd made that committment to him, that he could trust me. And I gave him no reason to doubt otherwise, despite several offers from previous bed buddies. Who also knew that I had made a committment to James, and they also knew he is a tiger claw 4th degree black belt, so they didn't push the issue

After I moved here tho, and there is absolutely NOTHING to do, I've suffered with boredom and withdrawl from social life. There's no clubs, there's no pubs, there's nothing. And its not because he won't "allow" me to go out, its because there's no where to go that's less than an hour away. It seriously has made our marriage suffer because all there is is me and him and the TV most of the time. And before he quit his job, it was just me and the TV, he was working 80 hours or more per week.

It may not work for everyone, but for us at least, having no other people to hang out with but each other (and the occasional movie or dinner out every 6 months or so with others ) has hindered rather than helped. Mostly on my part, as he wasn't much for cage dancing before we met Couples need a break every now and again from each other, whether its once a week or once a month. But honestly I believe if you don't, you lose your Self, and that's never a good thing.

[CanGal 1]

Maybe the origional question needs to be worded differently. Because it seems that the word "PARTY" doesn't seem clear to most people. If the point is to go out clubbing and drink your face off and do who knows what else, I might consider that a good indication of someone who wants to go out and "Party"... Now it is completely different in my oppinion if your significant other decides to go out with a few friends for a drink or two or out to dinner or playing cards or whatever without the significant other. Now if they going more as a means to sociolize than to get wild I don't see the big deal? Should there be a big deal? Now I myself wouldn't want it to happen all the time but I find there is a difference between just going out with a few friends and actually "Partying" someone can comment if I'm wrong ...

[Fandango 1,439]

Maybe the origional question needs to be worded differently. Because it seems that the word "PARTY" doesn't seem clear to most people. If the point is to go out clubbing and drink your face off and do who knows what else, I might consider that a good indication of someone who wants to go out and "Party"... Now it is completely different in my oppinion if your significant other decides to go out with a few friends for a drink or two or out to dinner or playing cards or whatever without the significant other. Now if they going more as a means to sociolize than to get wild I don't see the big deal? Should there be a big deal? Now I myself wouldn't want it to happen all the time but I find there is a difference between just going out with a few friends and actually "Partying" someone can comment if I'm wrong ...

If that's how you feel, then it can't be wrong for you!

[SOlcayto 0]

My husband doesn't have a problem if I'm out as long as he knows I'm safe and I'm not going to drive drunk or whoever is driving isn't drunk. He rarely goes out without me but he does sometimes. We're not old but we're not young either. I think it depends on how social you are, how much you trust eachother, and if you have good self-esteem or not. It won't work if one of you is sitting at home thinking of all the horrible things you "could" be doing. Which is a waste of time bc if someone wants to cheat, they'll do it. They can do it anytime, not just till the wee hours of the night, drunk. Me and my husband go out most of the time together but sometimes separate. You have to find the right balance for you and your relationship.

SOL

[*Robert* 2]

I find it interesting that the only women saying that their current hubbies, or future hubbies are not "allowed" to go out, are the ones not already living with their SO on a full time basis. It also seems all the couples already living with each other don't have a problem with their spouse/SO going out, as long as it's not a habit or for the soul purpose of "carousing".

hmmmmmmm

Living with someone full time is a lot different then having a LDR.

Finally, I don't know any man who wants a new "mommy" in their life to tell them what they can and can not do, unless you want a lot of resentment. If they do need a "mommy".... they're not a man!

[babybunny 2]

I find it interesting that the only women saying that their current hubbies, or future hubbies are not "allowed" to go out, are the ones not already living with their SO on a full time basis. It also seems all the couples already living with each other don't have a problem with their spouse/SO going out, as long as it's not a habit or for the soul purpose of "carousing".

hmmmmmmm

Living with someone full time is a lot different then having a LDR.

Finally, I don't know any man who wants a new "mommy" in their life to tell them what they can and can not do, unless you want a lot of resentment. If they do need a "mommy".... they're not a man!

my husband is muslim. so drinking is something he would not consider.

he dont look at other women either. I would like you to explain how he would resent me.

I am my husbands MAMA . he is my big bad daddy- dayum it!!!

Roi,

if you wanna party and it suits you do that. there are others that are past that #######.

Edited July 16, 2006 by babybunny