shocking story

[BinhJerome 14]

She went to visit her relatives for a few days, because before i didn't let her go, so she left without my permission, the good thing is shes back, thank god and thank you all, i can take a deep breathe now

You didn't give her "permission" to visit her family?.....wow....good for her, I'd have done the same, you're lucky she came home.

I know I did not like his wording on that either. I got alot of slack because people thought I was hard on him. I just try to read the posts and see through the lines and know there is always 2 sides to each story. Either way I am sure that if he mis worded what he meant or if he said what he wrote I am sure he knows now the error of his ways and that he knows very few people get a second chance at love.

Jerome

[BinhJerome 14]

It doesn't matter if he still loves her, she doesn't love him. That's why she left. No good wife would just leave so far away without saying anything. And always be wary of the Vietnamese people who always listens to family, even after being engaged or married. So forget about it, if she doesn't leave him now she will leave him later. So try to keep the child instead. Second, this is not such a shocking story. Nail people do this all the time. Leave their spouses and/or kids to just hook up with another nail person. Not sure why nail people tend to do this more, but probably because they can be very mobile, have the financial capacity to move quickly anywhere, and unless they absolutely have to do nails, they tend to love money over health. Nail people are part of their own culture, so be wary of anyone who wants to do nails or does nails. Red flags? Mentioning wanting to do nails over 2 hours away. Nail people work without licenses all the time or can buy licenses. From your side, all that matters to immigration officials is whether you can prove you did not know what was going on, and are not a party to the fraud.

thank you everyone for the inputs, surprisingly she came home today. She went to visit her relatives for a few days, because before i didn't let her go, so she left without my permission, the good thing is shes back, thank god and thank you all, i can take a deep breathe now

hey my friend

ok you must to listen

1) if love you move far way her family

2) you know some day she will get green card she will say good bye to you

3) do not let she close with relative

DO NOT LET HER A CHANCE,TRUTH ME

good luck men you know get K1 how was hard you know

John

John, I do not know if this is you or your fiancée writing this, but you should think about what you say. If it is you John, I have to say sorry, but I feel very bad for your fiancée. I would NEVER EVER keep my fiancée from seeing anyone of her family. In fact if she was unhappy because she was away from her family I would have her pick any of her family members that she wanted to live close to and we would move there. POINT BLANK I LOVE HER and I am not shopping for a slave or a home body. When I found Binh I was looking for a life PARTNER and a EQUAL PARTNER at that. I do not care man or woman you can not keep anyone from their family.

Jerome

[calilove 0]

It doesn't matter if he still loves her, she doesn't love him. That's why she left. No good wife would just leave so far away without saying anything. And always be wary of the Vietnamese people who always listens to family, even after being engaged or married. So forget about it, if she doesn't leave him now she will leave him later. So try to keep the child instead. Second, this is not such a shocking story. Nail people do this all the time. Leave their spouses and/or kids to just hook up with another nail person. Not sure why nail people tend to do this more, but probably because they can be very mobile, have the financial capacity to move quickly anywhere, and unless they absolutely have to do nails, they tend to love money over health. Nail people are part of their own culture, so be wary of anyone who wants to do nails or does nails. Red flags? Mentioning wanting to do nails over 2 hours away. Nail people work without licenses all the time or can buy licenses. From your side, all that matters to immigration officials is whether you can prove you did not know what was going on, and are not a party to the fraud.

thank you everyone for the inputs, surprisingly she came home today. She went to visit her relatives for a few days, because before i didn't let her go, so she left without my permission, the good thing is shes back, thank god and thank you all, i can take a deep breathe now

hey my friend

ok you must to listen

1) if love you move far way her family

2) you know some day she will get green card she will say good bye to you

3) do not let she close with relative

DO NOT LET HER A CHANCE,TRUTH ME

good luck men you know get K1 how was hard you know

John

John, I do not know if this is you or your fiancée writing this, but you should think about what you say. If it is you John, I have to say sorry, but I feel very bad for your fiancée. I would NEVER EVER keep my fiancée from seeing anyone of her family. In fact if she was unhappy because she was away from her family I would have her pick any of her family members that she wanted to live close to and we would move there. POINT BLANK I LOVE HER and I am not shopping for a slave or a home body. When I found Binh I was looking for a life PARTNER and a EQUAL PARTNER at that. I do not care man or woman you can not keep anyone from their family.

Jerome

i would never keep her from visiting her relatives if they respected my family, i have good reasons for not letting her have any contact with them. Life still long, she can always make new friends. If her relatives have some respect and manners than i would love to take her to see them. I bet no one here would let their fiancee have any contacts if that was the case

[calilove 0]

The reasons why i didn't let her go visit them because they have no manners, and for the fact that they'll be a bad influence for her. I am sure none of you would allow your fiancee to be any near those kind of people. If her relatives were the opposite, sure i would be more than happy to take her. Jerome, from your perspective view, i understand exactly what you're saying bro, but it depends on the situation.

[Teacher Mark 53]

This could possibly be culture shock too. She may have felt overwhelmed and ran to her family because of it.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

The reasons why i didn't let her go visit them because they have no manners, and for the fact that they'll be a bad influence for her. I am sure none of you would allow your fiancee to be any near those kind of people. If her relatives were the opposite, sure i would be more than happy to take her. Jerome, from your perspective view, i understand exactly what you're saying bro, but it depends on the situation.

Cali, with all due respect, she's your fiancee - not your child. Like the rest of us, she didn't get to choose her relatives - she's stuck with the relatives she's got. There are also a couple of "black sheep" in my family that I want nothing to do with, so I cut off contact with them, but that was MY choice. If my fiance/spouse told me I couldn't have contact with any of my relatives because she thought they would be a bad influence on me then I would definitely "assert my independence", to put it mildy! On the other hand, if she told me that SHE didn't want any contact with them, that would be fine - that's HER choice!

Talk to her. Tell her how you feel about them. Help her find friends who you think will be a good influence on her. But you CAN'T tell her she can't have contact with her own relatives. She's an adult, and you don't have that sort of authority over her.

I'm sorry if this offends you, but that's how I feel.

[luckytxn 2,263]

It is ludicrous to say someone can't see their relatives and demand they have to have permission from you. This is a strong part of being abusive. If I didn't like my fiancee's family I wouldn't be married now. In fact I had to go meet her family in Vietnam and not just my fiancee before I would think about marrying her. I had met many of her relatives here first also. If this was a bad family and relatives then I would have gone no further and with good reason. Asians are not the only ones with a strong family bond. I also have strong family bond. If anyone tells me not to see any family of mine then I would have probably never seen that someone again.

This is a very bad and reckless relationship and will say a prayer for y'all and hope that an intervention occurs.

[Rings 10]

i would never keep her from visiting her relatives if they respected my family, i have good reasons for not letting her have any contact with them. Life still long, she can always make new friends. If her relatives have some respect and manners than i would love to take her to see them. I bet no one here would let their fiancee have any contacts if that was the case

Absurd... you are not GOD and you cannot judge people simply because you think you know the difference between what's right and what's wrong.... If she wishes to see her family then you have no right to disrespect HER. This is not about you.... this is about her. You say you love her? Then show it.

[Huong and Phung 0]

It is so sad for something like this to happen as we are a married couple struggling through the visa process. You guys have been through this and should know how valuable it is to be together. For her to just leave and call you to say "this is the last time i call you.........", that is just b.s. NOW SHE IS BACK? that's even more b.s than anything. You might treasure this relationship and I will support you all the way but I don't know how much one can mend a broken glass to its original form. I'm sorry but you have to be careful man and do what ever it takes to keep your property, your child and what ever is yours. Make her sign some documents and try to keep the child.

I'm partly happy for you but also worry of what to come afterward. Good luck bro and hope everything work out the way YOU want.

[Dau Que 6]

1-800-Dr PHIL

[Kevin&Loan 0]

1-800-Dr PHIL

[BinhJerome 14]

The reasons why i didn't let her go visit them because they have no manners, and for the fact that they'll be a bad influence for her. I am sure none of you would allow your fiancee to be any near those kind of people. If her relatives were the opposite, sure i would be more than happy to take her. Jerome, from your perspective view, i understand exactly what you're saying bro, but it depends on the situation.

Cali, with all due respect, she's your fiancee - not your child. Like the rest of us, she didn't get to choose her relatives - she's stuck with the relatives she's got. There are also a couple of "black sheep" in my family that I want nothing to do with, so I cut off contact with them, but that was MY choice. If my fiance/spouse told me I couldn't have contact with any of my relatives because she thought they would be a bad influence on me then I would definitely "assert my independence", to put it mildy! On the other hand, if she told me that SHE didn't want any contact with them, that would be fine - that's HER choice!

Talk to her. Tell her how you feel about them. Help her find friends who you think will be a good influence on her. But you CAN'T tell her she can't have contact with her own relatives. She's an adult, and you don't have that sort of authority over her.

I'm sorry if this offends you, but that's how I feel.

I totally agree Jim. I just try to not be so harsh on people. It seems when I am harsh I get back lash, but I feel that now people see what I saw from the beginning. Jerome

[aaron2020 11,651]

The reasons why i didn't let her go visit them because they have no manners, and for the fact that they'll be a bad influence for her. I am sure none of you would allow your fiancee to be any near those kind of people. If her relatives were the opposite, sure i would be more than happy to take her. Jerome, from your perspective view, i understand exactly what you're saying bro, but it depends on the situation.

Cali, with all due respect, she's your fiancee - not your child. Like the rest of us, she didn't get to choose her relatives - she's stuck with the relatives she's got. There are also a couple of "black sheep" in my family that I want nothing to do with, so I cut off contact with them, but that was MY choice. If my fiance/spouse told me I couldn't have contact with any of my relatives because she thought they would be a bad influence on me then I would definitely "assert my independence", to put it mildy! On the other hand, if she told me that SHE didn't want any contact with them, that would be fine - that's HER choice!

Talk to her. Tell her how you feel about them. Help her find friends who you think will be a good influence on her. But you CAN'T tell her she can't have contact with her own relatives. She's an adult, and you don't have that sort of authority over her.

I'm sorry if this offends you, but that's how I feel.

Another well reasoned post from Jim.

Is she using him for a green card? I don't know.

Is keeping her away from her relatives unreasonable especially since she may be alone and isolated? Oh, yes. Abusive? Maybe. Reasonable for her to run off to see her relatives? Yes.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

The reasons why i didn't let her go visit them because they have no manners, and for the fact that they'll be a bad influence for her. I am sure none of you would allow your fiancee to be any near those kind of people. If her relatives were the opposite, sure i would be more than happy to take her. Jerome, from your perspective view, i understand exactly what you're saying bro, but it depends on the situation.

Cali, with all due respect, she's your fiancee - not your child. Like the rest of us, she didn't get to choose her relatives - she's stuck with the relatives she's got. There are also a couple of "black sheep" in my family that I want nothing to do with, so I cut off contact with them, but that was MY choice. If my fiance/spouse told me I couldn't have contact with any of my relatives because she thought they would be a bad influence on me then I would definitely "assert my independence", to put it mildy! On the other hand, if she told me that SHE didn't want any contact with them, that would be fine - that's HER choice!

Talk to her. Tell her how you feel about them. Help her find friends who you think will be a good influence on her. But you CAN'T tell her she can't have contact with her own relatives. She's an adult, and you don't have that sort of authority over her.

I'm sorry if this offends you, but that's how I feel.

I totally agree Jim. I just try to not be so harsh on people. It seems when I am harsh I get back lash, but I feel that now people see what I saw from the beginning. Jerome

To be honest, I agreed with what you said before, but he was hurting and I thought it was a little early to try to analyze why the events transpired the way that they did. He had more pressing things to deal with. Now that she has returned, the time has come for some introspection. If he doesn't come to grips with why it happened, then it will happen again.

I did think your advise to go and see her was spot on. That would have given him a chance to hear her reasons directly from her.

[calilove 0]

you people don't know #######, just because i said she cant' see her relatives, you guys went crazy on me. Do you people know the whole story? They're actually her so called relatives, like very very far relatives that she has never met. The reason why i didn't let didn't like them because, when she gets to the US, they kept calling for her. They were rude and disrespectful when anyone else answers the phone besides my fiancee. That's one of the reason why i rather not have her meet them. She's here with many oportunities to a better future. THere's more life for her out there than to these uneducated ,disrespectful so called relatives of her. She has no real relatives over here in the states. Before she comes to the US, she straight out told me she has no relatives over here, all of the sudden they popped out of no where being very disrespectful. Therefore, i was a little worried, but i didn't banned her from anyone. You guys went crazy on me like i banned her from going out of the house. Like i said, you guys don't know the whole #######, so please keep the ####### you said about me to yourself, thanks