Wedding?

[Mandi+Ryan 1]

Thanks to all of you that posted. You have been a big help. I have come to the conclusion that Ryan and I will get married in front of a judge, and of course we will be happy. That's all that matters anyway, right? We have talked about having a second wedding ceremony about a year down the road. This gives us time to save money, do some major planning for the big day, and as someone said in the thread, "In my mind now, having two weddings is just double the fun!" You make a very good point.

With all that said, I'm getting married. To the greatest guy that ever walked in my life. I truly could not ask for more. That's all I need!

Now my next question, what about rings? Should we at least do that the first time around? Or SOON after getting married the first time around?

All this is important to me, no doubt, but not as important as my future hubby. But hey, my Prince Charming has already come to resuce me, when do I get to be Cinderella? LOL!

[Alex+R 0]

Thanks to all of you that posted. You have been a big help. I have come to the conclusion that Ryan and I will get married in front of a judge, and of course we will be happy. That's all that matters anyway, right? We have talked about having a second wedding ceremony about a year down the road. This gives us time to save money, do some major planning for the big day, and as someone said in the thread, "In my mind now, having two weddings is just double the fun!" You make a very good point.

With all that said, I'm getting married. To the greatest guy that ever walked in my life. I truly could not ask for more. That's all I need!

Now my next question, what about rings? Should we at least do that the first time around? Or SOON after getting married the first time around?

All this is important to me, no doubt, but not as important as my future hubby. But hey, my Prince Charming has already come to resuce me, when do I get to be Cinderella? LOL!

We're getting married just about literally as he gets off the plane (ok, a few days later), but we're not doing rings at all. We have these cheap Brazilian engagement bands, which we wear on the right-hand ring finger, and then I guess we switch them at the wedding, but we're not even going to do that. I personally do not want to feel "married" (although definitely as committed as married people) until I have the real-deal wedding a few years down the road.

[Joel Halfwassen 0]

I got an engagement ring for Katya and presented it to her. She didn't know what to do with it. Ukraine doesn't have an engagement ring tradition! I had no idea. Then they put their wedding ring on the right hand and not the left hand. Again I had no idea. So what we ended up doing is using her engagement ring for her wedding ring. And we bought a ring for me in Ukraine which was kind of a problem. There is only one style for men. We searched high and low for a jeweler who had something unique. Finally found something that was unique yet masculine. The stone in my ring is WAY cheap.

Our idea is that if we do a wedding here in the USA she will get a matching wedding band and I will upgrade my stone.

Joel

[Mandi+Ryan 1]

I didn't get an engagement ring. Ryan and I went to a jewelry store in India where we bought a plain wedding band. I wear it everywhere! We have talked about all the things that come with marriage, the fancy things like a big wedding, and rings and stuff. He doesn't seem too "into it". But then again, he doesn't know much about it, and no one has really told him but me. So, I think he needs someone to give him a few pointers. Any volunteers??? Hehe. We're still young. It scares him when I talk about that kinda stuff...weddings, babies, etc. LOL. But I'm more educated on it. And other things that come with being married, BUT I can't wait to finally BE married. I love him dearly. Life will be great for us.

[Lou Lou 1]

We got married with witnesses pulled off the street, so if you consider that not a wedding, I guess I hold my hand up to that one. It didn't bother me one iota what it was like because it was more important to get the damn papers and file the AOS. Having said that, we had a great time, and I didn't feel like I missed out on anything. We wouldn't have got married had it not been for immigration anyway, so for us, it was just another part of the process.

Because we didn't spend any money on a wedding, we did splash out on some great bands ordered from Switzerland. No engagement ring cos I didn't want one, and as it has turned out I hardly ever wear my wedding ring too...oops

[CarolineM 0]

My two cents:

WE got married in a "couthourse" type place with 30 of his friends and family. Was it what I really wanted? no. Was it perfect and amazing and romantic and intimate? Yes. All I wanted was to be his wife...so the details mattered little to me.

We did exchange rings that day. i wanted to get "proper" rings since the ones we bought aren't really anything spectacular but he doesn't want to . He says that since I put that ring on him on our wedding day and he doesn't want one that I didn't put on him if that makes any sense at all.

We are having a "reception" here in the states on Aug 12th. Mom wanted it to be a ceremony but we didn't...we've done that already. I didn't want to just walk through the vows for show...just me...so we are just having a dinner and at this point, I don't even want to do that. But we are

[Mandi+Ryan 1]

Well, we are getting married in a courthouse. And yeah, I do consider it a wedding. All that is important is being together. Being married! We don't need the fancy things right now, but I would still like to have an actual wedding someday with OUR family and friends there. That's a major reason we aren't having any type of wedding the first time.

Wearing the ring is very important to me. It's a symbol of being married. And we will be married. I can understand where he doesn't want a different ring. Things like that are significant to some people. I would be the same way. No problem in that.

I'm ok with not having a big wedding now, and doing an actual wedding later. "The major ordeal". But about my vows, I already have my vows written. And I wanted to say them at our 'big wedding' the first time around, but I feel like it will be weird if I say them on the big wedding the second time around, after being married. So, I don't know if I should say them at the courthouse, or when we have the major event later? Or both? Any suggestions?

Edited July 10, 2006 by Mandi

[gwenneh 7]

I'd go with saying them at the courthouse, and hanging onto them for revision until The Big One. Your love is only going to grow from that day forward, and trust me, you'll think of a million more little things to say or even better ways to express it between now and then!

[Mandi+Ryan 1]

So we should say them, and add onto them for when we repeat them on the big day? I like that idea. Why didn't I think of that.

[Peter Miami 1]

We had our civil ceremony in the U.S. and our Catholic Church wedding will be in Colombia for her family and friends when she can travel.

Peter Miami

[Ryan+Mandi 0]

Anyone else on here not having an actual wedding? Ryan wants to just get married and have another wedding later. But I wanted the first time we "get married" to be the ONLY time. I even thought maybe we could get married here, once he's here, and his parents come over on a visa to attend. Any adivce? I really wanted my "dream wedding" the first time around. I even offered to compromise on a lot of things I wanted for our wedding. I've already written my vows, and wanted to say them on the big day, but there really isn't going to bed one now.

Just to add to her thoughts. I think it's a great idea to have a small wedding first and then plan a big one because it gives us the time, finance, and ability to plan a bigger better one. As for my parents coming there, I hope it can happen though I'm not counting on it.

[j&js 0]

I don't have much in the way of advice, just wanted to tell you about my current wedding dilemma in case it brings up something you haven't thought of yet...

Our original plan was to have a very small justice of the peace wedding in our house with both sets of parents and siblings there. We did that, with a nice dinner and mini wedding cake, but no white dress, no formal announcement, no name change. We were then going to plan a 'real' church wedding for a year or two, when we could better afford it. He put my engagement ring on my finger for the first time (original proposal across the Atlantic) at the small ceremony, because I liked the idea of having a ring with new meaning at each ceremony. Getting to the dilemma - now we are married, have been for 5 months tomorrow , and we aren't sure we want the big wedding anymore. Well, I am undecided about it and he doesn't really want one, but will do it if it will make me happy. For one thing, we are afraid we'll feel silly the whole wedding day, because we're just redoing things, we won't have that excitement of the new stage in our lives coming up because we will have already been married a couple years. Also, and this is a small concern, but I am afraid that some people (i.e.- distant relatives) will think we are just trying to get presents. But our biggest concern is that a wedding would be so expensive and we're trying to save to get a house, build a good financial standing to start a family, etc. so we kinda feel like why blow so much of the savings on something thats already happened?

If you think that any of those issues might come up for you when you are planning a wedding down the line, I would suggest you make the small one count. There are a few things I would have done differently if I knew it could end up being my only wedding. For instance, I would have worn a white dress, had my husband put the wedding band on my finger, changed my name right away, invited a few more people and for the sake of my mother-in-law, tried to include the church.

Sorry for the long rambling post, I just know that I am so torn right now, have a ton of reasons why I want a church wedding and why I don't, while at the time we made our original plan, I just assumed that we would still want the big wedding later and went ahead accordingly, and I would hate to see someone else end up in the same position later on.

[Mandi+Ryan 1]

I have thought about all that kind of stuff. And I have taken it into consideration. It scares me, to think that might happen to us, which is why I got my fiancé to join the posts, so I can get his opinion. And we really need to talk about it, but he doesn't really want to talk about it. I don't know. And he even said he's not counting on his parents to be there. So, I don't know.

Edited July 11, 2006 by Mandi

[*Robert* 2]

I'm starting to wish we weren't having an actual wedding!!! The cost is approaching $5k, so I'm not thrilled at all. Good thing this is a one time deal!

Despite the cost... this will be a "no regrets" wedding, because it is everything my soon to be bride wants, and that's whats important!

If you're going to do it... do it right!

[JanaknJanet 1]

Hi Mandi.. I understand the frustrations of wanting your wedding to be "THE" wedding... .. It sounds to me that you are having some reservations on doing it at the courthouse... Is it due to the not so .. special feeling?

Ask when you go to get your license. if you ask many times they have list of judges that will meet you somewhere.

Sometimes going to the park or a special place where it means something to the two of you.

Due to my daughter getting married.. and all this visa and filing fees.. funds for a potential foofy wedding for us is disapated.. but I do know that at least we will hire a judge/minister person .. to meet us at a spot.. and perform a simple ceremony .. the feeling of pledging my love to Jan.. in a courthouse just doesnt seem quite right to me.. .. not to knock it to those who do do it If it just doesnt sit quite right... look into something else... it can be just a special.. in a park or at the zoo or... the downtown waterfountain.. most of all it is your day.. and have fun