Islam and Chicken Marsala

[chrisc85 0]

Hey guys,

So, I have an interesting and possibly stupid question. I was talking with my fiancee the other day (were getting a K1), and I was telling her about this delicious Italian recipe that my family likes to make called "Chicken Marsala". I'm sure at least some of you have heard of this. It's chicken, made with a sauce that's made from primarily cream and Marsala wine with mushrooms. Now, when I told her this, she said it sounds delicious but said she will not eat it because it contains wine (she doesn't drink alcohol obviously because it's against the religion).

Now, I explained to her that the alcohol evaporates when cooking the sauce, so there is no alcohol and it will be fine. She wouldn't have it. She refused and said she doesn't believe it's right. What bothers me is my mom makes it all the time, so when we eat dinner together, what will she not eat? I would never make her drink alcohol, but this is different. It's such a good recipe and a lot of other recipes are made with alcoholic beverages for flavoring, like pasta with vodka sauce, hot sauce with bourbon, jack daniels bbq sauce, along with the marsala sauce. This bothers me cause she's gonna be missing out on so much good food that's a big part of our culture even though there's no alcohol in the food after it's cooked!! This seems like it could be considered such an insignificant issue but it's bothering the heck out of me. Do other American-Muslims think this way about this as well?

Edited June 18, 2009 by chrisc85

[daboyz 36]

Hey guys,

So, I have an interesting and possibly stupid question. I was talking with my fiancee the other day (were getting a K1), and I was telling her about this delicious Italian recipe that my family likes to make called "Chicken Marsala". I'm sure at least some of you have heard of this. It's chicken, made with a sauce that's made from primarily cream and Marsala wine with mushrooms. Now, when I told her this, she said it sounds delicious but said she will not eat it because it contains wine (she doesn't drink alcohol obviously because it's against the religion).

Now, I explained to her that the alcohol evaporates when cooking the sauce, so there is no alcohol and it will be fine. She wouldn't have it. She refused and said she doesn't believe it's right. What bothers me is my mom makes it all the time, so when we eat dinner together, what will she not eat? I would never make her drink alcohol, but this is different. It's such a good recipe and a lot of other recipes are made with alcoholic beverages for flavoring, like pasta with vodka sauce, hot sauce with bourbon, jack daniels bbq sauce, along with the marsala sauce. This bothers me cause she's gonna be missing out on so much good food that's a big part of our culture even though there's no alcohol in the food after it's cooked!! This seems like it could be considered such an insignificant issue but it's bothering the heck out of me. Do other American-Muslims think this way about this as well?

I don't have an answer, but I will be really curious to see what other posters say.

[amysaid 9]

It really varies from person to person, both in the US and outside the US, how strictly they adhere to the no-alcohol thing. I know some people who won't even use shampoos or soaps that have alcohol in them because they say they are not halal, and yet others that don't even give it a second thought. I would say that perhaps you should tell your mom about your fiancee's dietary needs, and hopefully she can oblige. Is it really that big of a deal not to eat chicken marsala? the thing is, that it is insignificant, as you say, to YOU. but if eating something made with alcohol (even if it has evaporated out) is significant for her, then why push it?

[Maroc2Texas 0]

My husband is the same - when we go out to eat he scans the menu and any dish that even suggests wine he says no way. I've also explained that there is no alcohol in the dish after it's cooked, but he tells me he appreciates the explanation but he would not be able to do his prayers or sleep at night if he ate these dishes. I've given up!!

[MarocAmer 0]

My husband is also from Morocco and he will not eat any foods cooked with alcohol. He'll watch you cook it, enjoy the smells, but he absolutely won't eat it. This is a personal issue with their belief don't let it come between you. There is more to life than food being cooked with alcohol.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Hey guys,

So, I have an interesting and possibly stupid question. I was talking with my fiancee the other day (were getting a K1), and I was telling her about this delicious Italian recipe that my family likes to make called "Chicken Marsala". I'm sure at least some of you have heard of this. It's chicken, made with a sauce that's made from primarily cream and Marsala wine with mushrooms. Now, when I told her this, she said it sounds delicious but said she will not eat it because it contains wine (she doesn't drink alcohol obviously because it's against the religion).

Now, I explained to her that the alcohol evaporates when cooking the sauce, so there is no alcohol and it will be fine. She wouldn't have it. She refused and said she doesn't believe it's right. What bothers me is my mom makes it all the time, so when we eat dinner together, what will she not eat? I would never make her drink alcohol, but this is different. It's such a good recipe and a lot of other recipes are made with alcoholic beverages for flavoring, like pasta with vodka sauce, hot sauce with bourbon, jack daniels bbq sauce, along with the marsala sauce. This bothers me cause she's gonna be missing out on so much good food that's a big part of our culture even though there's no alcohol in the food after it's cooked!! This seems like it could be considered such an insignificant issue but it's bothering the heck out of me. Do other American-Muslims think this way about this as well?

With all due respect, you said you converted to Islam in front of her family. That means that, not only did you make a promise to her parents to be a man they can trust, you also took an oath to follow Allah and the tenets of the faith. I also remember that you said she wasn't very observant, but she may surprise you. Observant Muslims avoid alcohol. Your fiancee wants to follow the faith as it has been prescribed. Your early acts toward her should not be to try to convince her to do things that violate her beliefs. You should use her as your example as you learn more about living as a Muslim, if that is what you intended when you converted. If you're not thinking to do that, you may make a big mistake by marrying her, then trying to change her.

Western cultures are full of pitfalls for practicing Muslims. I was born Muslim and have lived in the west on and off thoroughout my life. For nearly 30 years, I was married to a Christian man, which required much accomodation to each other's beliefs. While individual Muslims may have varying comfort levels when it comes to haram foods, we have been told to avoid wine and spirits and pork specifically. Apparently, this command is important to her, and she has made that clear to you.

One major duty that you have to each other, no matter what faith you practice, is to respect and facilitate the spiritual well-being of your spouse. That means, as the husband of a Muslim woman, and a new convert to Islam, you have an obligation to grow in the faith. Growth must include a willingness to allow yourself to accept the fact that, if you are sincere in your conversion, your life will change, God willing, for the better. You should also help your dear mother to understand the dietary requirements a Muslim is to follow, and why we follow them so that she can choose to be significant part of your growth as a Muslim.

I understand that you have lived your life one way until now, and that you view your fiancee as Muslim-lite. Yet, but marriage is a major life change that, to be successful and to thrive, needs compromise and patience from both partners. Your wife needs to be patient with your responses to the limitations of behavior her Muslim practice requires. You need to be able to compromise with the boundaries she will have as she tries to resist temptations that would move her away from her faith.

You may want to consider taking your time so that you can adequately assess each other's expectations and boundaries before you marry. It sounds as if there is much you have still much to discover about each other.

None of my words were meant to offend. I am merely trying to address the issue in the best way I can. I hope this helps.

[zahrasalem 114]

Food cooked with any amount of alcohol is haram, period. Eating any food that has been touched by alcohol or pork (even from cooking utensils) is also haram. Every observant Muslim knows this very well and is very careful when eating outside of their own home.

No matter how long you cook the food, there will still be traces of the alcohol in the food, otherwise, why would you want to add it in there in the first place?

My husband and I are observant Muslims and are very careful to read ingredients because following a halal way of life is important to us.

Since your fiance is an observant Muslim, halal food is not the only subject you may disagree with her about. Halal also extends to her daily life (not working in or socializing around haram places or activities, etc.), not just food, so I hope this won't be an issue for you both.

Trying to explain your opinion to her will not change the religious laws of halal and haram, so I hope you don't pressure her about these things. If you

are also Muslim, I'm sure she would appreciate it if you would follow halal ways with her.

Sorry if I sound blunt, but I just don't want any Muslim to feel pressured into eating haram food, especially by a loved one, and after they've made it clear they don't want to.

[Kenza 1]

Food cooked with any amount of alcohol is haram, period. Eating any food that has been touched by alcohol or pork (even from cooking utensils) is also haram. Every observant Muslim knows this very well and is very careful when eating outside of their own home.

No matter how long you cook the food, there will still be traces of the alcohol in the food, otherwise, why would you want to add it in there in the first place?

My husband and I are observant Muslims and are very careful to read ingredients because following a halal way of life is important to us.

Since your fiance is an observant Muslim, halal food is not the only subject you may disagree with her about. Halal also extends to her daily life (not working in or socializing around haram places or activities, etc.), not just food, so I hope this won't be an issue for you both.

Trying to explain your opinion to her will not change the religious laws of halal and haram, so I hope you don't pressure her about these things. If you

are also Muslim, I'm sure she would appreciate it if you would follow halal ways with her.

Sorry if I sound blunt, but I just don't want any Muslim to feel pressured into eating haram food, especially by a loved one, and after they've made it clear they don't want to.

There is also a hadtith, can't find it right now sorry, that basically says when in doubt don't do it.

[Melly 2 0]

It seems to be a common misconception that the alcohol put in food evaporates as it's cooked.

It is, however, a misconception.

I've quickly found three articles, and could find many more if there were any point, but I think 3 should suffice, to show the actual facts about this subject.

site 1

site 2

site 3

I'd advise you to stop bugging your wife about this, since she is doing what is right.

[brnidokiegurl 0]

if this is her belief she wont change (period) dont even try to expect her to and i see alot of reading labels and learning ingredients in your future, you will be surprised and need to study up on all this ahead of time

[Jenn! 918]

I'm not aware of a non-alcoholic marsala, but for other recipes with wine, you could try a non-alcoholic wine. Of course, it won't be quite the same, but it's something. Then again, non-alcoholic wines and beers still contain trace amounts of alcohol, so that might be a no-go as well. However, Pam cooking spray and fruit juices also have trace alcohol.

If your wife is strict about this, I don't think there's any way around abstaining from some great recipes.

[100% Al Ahly Fan 53]

With all due respect, you said you converted to Islam in front of her family. That means that, not only did you make a promise to her parents to be a man they can trust, you also took an oath to follow Allah and the tenets of the faith. I also remember that you said she wasn't very observant, but she may surprise you. Observant Muslims avoid alcohol. Your fiancee wants to follow the faith as it has been prescribed. Your early acts toward her should not be to try to convince her to do things that violate her beliefs. You should use her as your example as you learn more about living as a Muslim, if that is what you intended when you converted. If you're not thinking to do that, you may make a big mistake by marrying her, then trying to change her.

Western cultures are full of pitfalls for practicing Muslims. I was born Muslim and have lived in the west on and off thoroughout my life. For nearly 30 years, I was married to a Christian man, which required much accomodation to each other's beliefs. While individual Muslims may have varying comfort levels when it comes to haram foods, we have been told to avoid wine and spirits and pork specifically. Apparently, this command is important to her, and she has made that clear to you.

One major duty that you have to each other, no matter what faith you practice, is to respect and facilitate the spiritual well-being of your spouse. That means, as the husband of a Muslim woman, and a new convert to Islam, you have an obligation to grow in the faith. Growth must include a willingness to allow yourself to accept the fact that, if you are sincere in your conversion, your life will change, God willing, for the better. You should also help your dear mother to understand the dietary requirements a Muslim is to follow, and why we follow them so that she can choose to be significant part of your growth as a Muslim.

I understand that you have lived your life one way until now, and that you view your fiancee as Muslim-lite. Yet, but marriage is a major life change that, to be successful and to thrive, needs compromise and patience from both partners. Your wife needs to be patient with your responses to the limitations of behavior her Muslim practice requires. You need to be able to compromise with the boundaries she will have as she tries to resist temptations that would move her away from her faith.

You may want to consider taking your time so that you can adequately assess each other's expectations and boundaries before you marry. It sounds as if there is much you have still much to discover about each other.

None of my words were meant to offend. I am merely trying to address the issue in the best way I can. I hope this helps.

Well said sister, Sofiyya! I agreed 100%!

[UmmSqueakster 54]

It seems to be a common misconception that the alcohol put in food evaporates as it's cooked.

It is, however, a misconception.

I've quickly found three articles, and could find many more if there were any point, but I think 3 should suffice, to show the actual facts about this subject.

site 1

site 2

site 3

I'd advise you to stop bugging your wife about this, since she is doing what is right.

Yup, I was just going to say that.

Also, alcohol is najas, filth. You wouldn't cook with urine and then argue that it's all cooked out at the end. That would just be gross.

As for missing out on foods that are a part of american culture, too bad. Can't have pizza hut pizza with pepperoni and sausage either. There's plenty of american food that is made without alcohol. Plus, there are plenty of substitutes for alcohol in cooking.

[Zee Bee 61]

I second what Sofiyya said.

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

also, I wanted to add that there is nothing wrong with being thoughtful of someones likes or dislikes or food choices that a side dish of something could not be made. If my family knows I dont eat liver for whatever the reason, it would be more thoughtful if they prepared something small on the side that I could eat if they invited me over and knew my dislike of liver. Thats just a common courtesy.

I would never cook something that I know my family or friends would not like and expect them to eat it to satisfy myself. Thats bad hospitality.