Introduction

[LaL 418]

Olivia, your use of the word "taken" has always really bothered me. AFAIK (and I am no expert on Egyptian Ministry of Defense inner workings) but, if service is compulsory (or even subjective) then the use of the word taken is just provocative. Just my .02

[Jamaican JNR 2]

Hello and Salaam everyone. I didn't find a thread that was like this, so I thought I would start my own.

I just joined April 17, 2009 but didn't really become active until the begining of May. I so far LOVE VJ. It's been so helpful, even when I have stupid question (usually someone has already asked ).

Everyone here is so kind and informative. I see that many of of you know each other by name. I would love to as well. I will tell ya little more about me and hope that you are willing to do the same.

My name is Sharifah. I'm 33 years old. I have an eight year old son named Tariq. I've been married for a little over two months to the man of my dreams, (well sometimes, depends on if he annoys me that day or not ) Ahmed. I love reading, cats, and cooking. This waiting for my husband to get here is driving me nuts, but thankfully many of you have already experienced that or are currently going through it.

I look forward to hearing more about you. Thanks and Shookran!

I love your concept of starting a new thread like this one.

[~ameriptian~ 54]

You know what, Aya? Every time I read about the difficulties you're having with your family, the same thought goes through my mind: "She really loves that guy."

Keep you chin up, sweetie.

I truly do, IHQ. He loves me back the same. It's a blessing we found each other alhamdulillah.

Just keep praying Aya.. InshAllah you will somehow find peace with it all.

InshaAllah Merijan.

[~ameriptian~ 54]

Olivia, your use of the word "taken" has always really bothered me. AFAIK (and I am no expert on Egyptian Ministry of Defense inner workings) but, if service is compulsory (or even subjective) then the use of the word taken is just provocative. Just my .02

LaL, I don't mean to speak for Olivia, she has her opinion to state, but I personally think she did not mean it in a wrong way. The distance is hard already, and being away from her husband for such a long time and long distance, and being disappointed about her delay of the visa because of something that is out of their hands, makes him 'taken' from her. And that goes to any wife/fiancee in that situation.

I am Egyptian and don't find the word bothering at all...

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

Olivia, your use of the word "taken" has always really bothered me. AFAIK (and I am no expert on Egyptian Ministry of Defense inner workings) but, if service is compulsory (or even subjective) then the use of the word taken is just provocative. Just my .02

Yes I will address that eventually in the much longer post on the compulsory aspect and the use of the word taken so hopefully it will make much more sense to those of what the process really means to the people that get involved. Actually let me spoil it now with what I've found for what I've been working on and share a bit of insight on the subject of the sensitivity of what the word "taken" really means to us wives involved. Follow the lnk: Notes on Compulsory Army Service in Egypt

[LaL 418]

Actually I read much of that, after I read your post when I went looking for further information regarding the call to service. I do not mean to come off as minimizing your POV - it just seems to me to be a demagogic way to express it. But I don't know if he was otherwise exempt and made to serve regardless. I didn't think so, though.

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

Olivia, your use of the word "taken" has always really bothered me. AFAIK (and I am no expert on Egyptian Ministry of Defense inner workings) but, if service is compulsory (or even subjective) then the use of the word taken is just provocative. Just my .02

LaL, I don't mean to speak for Olivia, she has her opinion to state, but I personally think she did not mean it in a wrong way. The distance is hard already, and being away from her husband for such a long time and long distance, and being disappointed about her delay of the visa because of something that is out of their hands, makes him 'taken' from her. And that goes to any wife/fiancee in that situation.

I am Egyptian and don't find the word bothering at all...

Thank you Aya. I can't even begin to describe the entire depths of what we've had to go through in our experience. That link in my response to LaL is as close to the words I can find on the subject for others to be able to understand it.

This part in the article in particular says it better than I could and it goes on to elaborate only some of what we have personally experienced.

Many of the permanent staff, specially the lower rank ones, disdain the temporary recruits, envying them for having education and better job prospects. They therefore use all the tricks to make their life miserable for the duration they are in the army. Some get the sick feeling of pleasure from the misery of others. Some feel satisfaction from being able to humilate a medical doctor or an engineer. Most of this is allowed in the name of teaching discipline and absolute obedience.

Actually I read much of that, after I read your post when I went looking for further information regarding the call to service. I do not mean to come off as minimizing your POV - it just seems to me to be a demagogic way to express it. But I don't know if he was otherwise exempt and made to serve regardless. I didn't think so, though.

I guess even if you still read it and do your research then it's the case where unless you walk a mile in the other's shoes you just don't understand it.

Edited August 8, 2009 by ~Flower~

[LaL 418]

...unless you walk a mile in the other's shoes you just don't understand it.

Perhaps. I could be missing part of the story, but if what Aya is saying covers it, the distance, the delays, etc. yeah I know it's hard. Like I said - it's just the impression *I* get from what that word conveys to me, again not to minimize your pain due to the delay.

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

...unless you walk a mile in the other's shoes you just don't understand it.

Perhaps. I could be missing part of the story, but if what Aya is saying covers it, the distance, the delays, etc. yeah I know it's hard. Like I said - it's just the impression *I* get from what that word conveys to me, again not to minimize your pain due to the delay.

I have to question you if you really fully read that link from top to bottom. Yes it is along those lines of what Aya states and there are many more stories like mine that are missing and need to be told to fill in the holes. I have been doing the background research but still have not found everything I need from the Egyptian Foreign Ministry to tell the complete story.

From what I have gathered, for clarification sake, when they don't get a choice, and it is not necessary to have an out-dated compulsory service program, and it is against their will, and the corruption of the system allows for the treatment they receive to be below subhuman, then one has to ask themselves. Are they not being "taken" from their family and friends, and the dignity of their lives, and the lives of others who love them are being disrupted, and all are put on hold? And for what when others may pay fees or bribes to get themselves out of service or call in favors from family and friends in higher ranks to make it where they are not really serving at all except for on paper alone? Those who don't have those options are just SOL and subject to the delights of the injustices served them by their superiors who loathe them for their temporary service status but most basically hated for not wanting to be there. For not being like them and accepting of their status quo.

[LaL 418]

Meh. If one has no other exemptions other than a possible outlet in a foreign spouse (subjective), then I should think one would expect to have to serve. This seems to be your soapbox, so I will exit now.

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

As I stated in the beginning it's a common misconception that marriage to a foreign spouse in Egypt is an automatic exemption from military service and is the very thing I've been working on through our group of wives, and back ground research, for the thread of facts I will post to help inform and redirect this line of thinking to avoid these situations or if found in it themselves what to expect and how to cope. Simply it is for those affected by it and the rest can move along as it's really not necessary to offer grime judgments.

Something positive came of the discussion with you, LaL, sort of. Another one found the group today because of this string of posts so (possibly) make it 9 to our group.

I have to say to those out there that find me here and wish to join our group on facebook for support you have to give me a little more background on yourself or contact me through personal messenger first before I allow you into our tight nit group of 8. We've been through a lot together and it is a closed group because we share sensitive information with each other. It's no secret there are consequences for some of the information we share among each other privately and in our weekly chats for support, maybe not directly for us, but directly for our Husbands who are at the will of their government whether in active duty or not. It is not the same rules there as it is here for us so we are cautious about who may join. If you give me no way to contact you back and the ability to communicate with you first and discuss your situation with the other women in the group then I am sorry but I can not accept your request to join us. We have already been compromised once by a fraudulent situation, granted she wouldn't have known it without our information on the process and her further independent research on him. However, we wish to avoid any further exposure to that type of situation and uphold the integrity and support that we have for each other. If you can't wait until I post the thread of facts that may help you then I suggest contacting me for further inquiry.

Edited August 9, 2009 by ~Flower~

[ya hayat alby ♥ 0]

hi mena!

I'm Autumn, 20 soon to be going on 21 insha'Allah! I'm a student in university still... studying elementary education. I live in Indiana, though these last 7 months I've been living with my hubby here in Alexandria, Egypt.

I met my hubby through a friend in Sept 07' and after talking for 11 months, he asked to have a sit down meeting between us to see if we could work out. He was a nice guy so when I went to Egypt for my yearly summer vacation we met... that would be July 08'. I was actually staying with HLM this last summer so her family subbed for my family. I'm still super grateful to them. We got engaged that last summer and married when I returned back to Egypt last February. He is 23 and just finished his school now.

Best decision I ever made. Just waiting for this process to be over! Awaiting his army currently...

[Kenza 1]

hi mena!

I'm Autumn, 20 soon to be going on 21 insha'Allah! I'm a student in university still... studying elementary education. I live in Indiana, though these last 7 months I've been living with my hubby here in Alexandria, Egypt.

I met my hubby through a friend in Sept 07' and after talking for 11 months, he asked to have a sit down meeting between us to see if we could work out. He was a nice guy so when I went to Egypt for my yearly summer vacation we met... that would be July 08'. I was actually staying with HLM this last summer so her family subbed for my family. I'm still super grateful to them. We got engaged that last summer and married when I returned back to Egypt last February. He is 23 and just finished his school now.

Best decision I ever made. Just waiting for this process to be over! Awaiting his army currently...

Welcome! I'm studying Child Development-somewhat similar lol.

[Ramialbali 23]

I am Rami, Palestine and married to Rebecca “Becky”, TX. I have been here in VJ for a short time, but it help me a lot. I hadn’t a chance to introduce us, so it is a great thread. I was a teacher and now unemployed. My wife also an English teacher. I want to share with you how I met my beloved. It was summer 2007, and I was sitting in a cafe with friends when I got a call from the director assistant of the English language Center in the Arab American University. As I was working and volunteering as a guide and interpreter/translator in my area Jenin, she asked me to come to the university and help a new teacher to go and do some shopping. The university is little bit far from the city in the countryside, and the university was off, The new teacher just arrived the night before, and there was nobody help her. I asked her name and how old she is. The director assistant told me that she is in her 50s. I told her that you always bring old teachers, and said what about young teachers? She laughed. Anyway, The next day I called a taxi and went to pick the new teacher up. I still remember that day. It was nice and sunny. It was the most precious day in my life. When the taxi entered the campus, there was a beautiful young girl standing in front of the ELC. The ELC located on a hill inside the university where the young girl was standing like sun with her blond shinny hair. Her shadow was stretching down while we were driving up hill. The driver asked me if she was the new teacher, and I said no. There was nobody there except her. I just passed by her and went inside the building. There was nobody in there. Then I decided to ask the only girl there, but the director assistant told me she is in her 50s, and the young girl looked in her 20s. there was a big difference between the two ages, so I got little bit hesitated. I just went toward her and could not speak. Then she asked my name, and then without thinking I told her “you supposed be in you 50s” and then said “nothing do not worry”. The director assistant was joking with me. Usually I talk a lot when I met some one for the first time “ bad habit” , but with her I could not. I felt from the beginning there was something. Instead of one hour shopping, we spent the entire day together shopping, roaming around, and I introduced her to my family, and they likes her a lot. Here the other fanny thing. When my mother saw her and sat together for almost one hour, she took me aside and told me this “ Listen, go a propose for her now” Then I laughed a lot and told my mother there is nothing, and we just met, and I am working. It was funny. The we went to a café chat little bit for almost 2 hours. It was the most beautiful day ever. After that we started meeting each other now and then, do some trips with other people, and after a month, I told her about my feeling. After 4 moths we get engaged, after six months we got married and had our wedding party here in Palestine. Some of her family attended the wedding. It was quick marriage according to many people, but we were sure about each other, and we did not wan to play around. Now we have been married for almost two years. We lived together most of the time, but the administrative processing separates us for almost 3 months. We love each other so much even sometime we think it is not just love, but something behind love. We went through difficult situations, but our love stand. I love her, and I want to be with her for entire my life. She is not just my dreams, but my reality. I hope this immigration process will not affects our relationship. I hope all the same.

[~*Dorothy*~ 2]

Thanks for sharing your story Rami - hopefully your separation will be over soon...