Good information here

[paidplayed 1]

I'm new here, and some of the information offered and discussed is extemely helpful.

Thank you to everyone.

My story is very similar. I'm the USC and my wife of 6 months came over on a K1.

The LD courtship was about 24 months with numerous trips and redevous.

I supported her for 10 months prior to her arrival.

We married within the 90 days and things were fine until about 2 months ago.

We applied for AOS and are still waiting for an interview date.

Slowly over the last few months the lifestyle we have has not been adaquate for her.

Since day 1 ALL household and personal expenses are paid and provide her an additional $500 per month as 'discretionary" to do with as she pleases.

There's very little purchases she brings home, and tells me she uses it for meals, etc. We eat dinner at home 90% of the time, and the other 10% we go out to dinner together.

We decided 2 months ago it would be easier to start a "discretionary" account at the bank so she would not have to always ask for spending money.

Every time I check this account at the bank, the entire amount is withdrawn within a day of being deposited and the account sits basically empty for the remainer of the month.

Suddenly a $2000 debt,( she had previously told me about), had to be re-paid back home immediately to her personal friend and was agreed to by her.

It HAD to happen within 24 hours! She assured me prior to our marraige she would repay this to her friend when she began working.

No problem.

( the funds had to be wired in dollars and not distributed in local currency. I thought that was strange.....)

Well, now the $500 is not enough and needs to be increased so she can shop with some friends.

I asked "How can you spend this much on basically lunches over a 1 month period while you attend day time classes?"

When I explain the household budget REPEATEDLY to her and show expenses, etc. the arguement is the same.

I'm not taking care of her.

"So are we to act irresponsibly and not pay the bills in order to support a lifestyle??" I ask.

I'm not taking care of her is the reply. Arguement, arguement.

We have sat down a number of times and examined all the expenses and monthly income, and reached amiable agreements at the time, but a week or 2 later, it's not enough.

She's learning to drive and now wants her own car next month, hoping she'll have her license by then.

Of course any red flags from the past, which we always talked about at the time, are waving again.

Anyway it's pretty apparent to me that she's sending money home or stashing.

Again, no purchases show up at the house.

Now of course I've got decisions to make.

Thanks to all for the info posted here.

Good luck to you all.

[Kar98 0]

Get rid of that Russian ####### before she starts with the calls to the police and abusive husband #######. And FFS man, don't try to "fix everything" by producing some offspring with her.

Edited May 31, 2009 by Kar98

[trillium13 84]

Seriously, do these women read some kind of a book or something, "how to scam an american man for a green card" ? I haven't been a member here that long, and I've seen this story several times already. You'd think they would at least wait until they have their actual green card before they start in with all this.

[Kar98 0]

I've been wondering about that. They all follow (or attempt to) exactly the same procedure. Marry a USC, siphon off money, let the husband pay for school, make sure he's got a house, and as soon as they got their GC in hand, they start the trail record of abuse, not enough money given, poof, divorce and VAWA. I've read about cases exactly like this here, and know real life, offline cases, too.

Except some mess it up and think they're in the clear after they got their EAD, or in some cases, the biometrics appointment, LOL

Did you meet yours from an ad in a truck magazine too?

Edited May 31, 2009 by Kar98

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I'm new here, and some of the information offered and discussed is extemely helpful.

Thank you to everyone.

My story is very similar. I'm the USC and my wife of 6 months came over on a K1.

The LD courtship was about 24 months with numerous trips and redevous.

I supported her for 10 months prior to her arrival.

We married within the 90 days and things were fine until about 2 months ago.

We applied for AOS and are still waiting for an interview date.

Slowly over the last few months the lifestyle we have has not been adaquate for her.

Since day 1 ALL household and personal expenses are paid and provide her an additional $500 per month as 'discretionary" to do with as she pleases.

There's very little purchases she brings home, and tells me she uses it for meals, etc. We eat dinner at home 90% of the time, and the other 10% we go out to dinner together.

We decided 2 months ago it would be easier to start a "discretionary" account at the bank so she would not have to always ask for spending money.

Every time I check this account at the bank, the entire amount is withdrawn within a day of being deposited and the account sits basically empty for the remainer of the month.

Suddenly a $2000 debt,( she had previously told me about), had to be re-paid back home immediately to her personal friend and was agreed to by her.

It HAD to happen within 24 hours! She assured me prior to our marraige she would repay this to her friend when she began working.

No problem.

( the funds had to be wired in dollars and not distributed in local currency. I thought that was strange.....)

Well, now the $500 is not enough and needs to be increased so she can shop with some friends.

I asked "How can you spend this much on basically lunches over a 1 month period while you attend day time classes?"

When I explain the household budget REPEATEDLY to her and show expenses, etc. the arguement is the same.

I'm not taking care of her.

"So are we to act irresponsibly and not pay the bills in order to support a lifestyle??" I ask.

I'm not taking care of her is the reply. Arguement, arguement.

We have sat down a number of times and examined all the expenses and monthly income, and reached amiable agreements at the time, but a week or 2 later, it's not enough.

She's learning to drive and now wants her own car next month, hoping she'll have her license by then.

Of course any red flags from the past, which we always talked about at the time, are waving again.

Anyway it's pretty apparent to me that she's sending money home or stashing.

Again, no purchases show up at the house.

Now of course I've got decisions to make.

Thanks to all for the info posted here.

Good luck to you all.

Must be a Moscovite. Haven't had any such troubles. Of course my wife likes to shop but puts the family needs first. Buy her a well used car, they bash them up in practice when they first learn. No tree or fire hydrant is safe.

[SuperDuper! 230]

It sounds like you have a NIGHTMARE that wont go away. How silly for her to pay debts on high priotrity status when she is away from Russia. She drains the checking acct right away??!

SHe is scamming you big time.. Sorry you are in this situation. She should be pampering and loving you and not asking you for anything.

Her hostile attitude is completely unacceptable. Sheesh, you could have married an AMerican old bag nag hag and gotten that for free!!!

Send her back on the soonest plane , and talk to an immigration atty in the morning!

GudLuck!

[wowswift 3]

im sorry, but how does this happen? are you all the sudden some push over? i can understand people not understanding how expenses work for a bit, but you've explained it to her, she obviously has a problem. i guess i don't understand the "gold digger" mentality, but i mean even they have to be realistic at some point, i'd assume. there must be more going on, but we don't know of course. i saw gl, if she isn't being reasonable with you, you need to sit her down and find out why she is even with you. if she says she loves you, and you still think she does, then you will be ok, but she should be able to calm down with the cash and help to build a life with you. i hope you find the root of your problems though.

[paidplayed 1]

im sorry, but how does this happen? are you all the sudden some push over? i can understand people not understanding how expenses work for a bit, but you've explained it to her, she obviously has a problem. i guess i don't understand the "gold digger" mentality, but i mean even they have to be realistic at some point, i'd assume. there must be more going on, but we don't know of course. i saw gl, if she isn't being reasonable with you, you need to sit her down and find out why she is even with you. if she says she loves you, and you still think she does, then you will be ok, but she should be able to calm down with the cash and help to build a life with you. i hope you find the root of your problems though.

Yea, I don't really understand it either, thanks.

I know the root of the problem though,.......generousity and love.

[paidplayed 1]

I've been wondering about that. They all follow (or attempt to) exactly the same procedure. Marry a USC, siphon off money, let the husband pay for school, make sure he's got a house, and as soon as they got their GC in hand, they start the trail record of abuse, not enough money given, poof, divorce and VAWA. I've read about cases exactly like this here, and know real life, offline cases, too.

Except some mess it up and think they're in the clear after they got their EAD, or in some cases, the biometrics appointment, LOL

Did you meet yours from an ad in a truck magazine too?

Yeah, reality can be pretty harsh at times.

Just bumped into her in Prague

[sasha414 0]

reading posts like this always make me think how lucky other women must be or if they have a certain ability to squeeze out thousands of dollars from their husbands. or maybe it just comes naturally to them who knows. my husband is a generous man but nevertheless i never take advantage of his generosity. at times when i need even just a 100$ , i always think first and consider the other more important expenses that need to be prioritized. and even if my husband always tells me i dont need to inform him all the time about my expenses, still i make sure i tell him where the money goes. i call this respect. to the OP, its very clear she is using and "milking" you dry. pls listen to your mind more and not your heart. be very careful .

[luckymom 0]

I second the motion sasha! This woman for sure has her own agenda for being with you. For me, as long as the husband is providing food for the table and providing for the needs at home - that should be enough. Money for shopping is just a bonus. Spending the "discretionary" if I understood the term instantly is a clear indication that she has some other hidden expenses. She is very lucky because the OP is a generous person and she should not take advantage of that. If you buy her a car and she learns her way around, that would lead to a more expensive lifestyle. Husband and wife should be transparent when it comes to expenses. At least that's why I've learned from my parents.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I've been wondering about that. They all follow (or attempt to) exactly the same procedure. Marry a USC, siphon off money, let the husband pay for school, make sure he's got a house, and as soon as they got their GC in hand, they start the trail record of abuse, not enough money given, poof, divorce and VAWA. I've read about cases exactly like this here, and know real life, offline cases, too.

Except some mess it up and think they're in the clear after they got their EAD, or in some cases, the biometrics appointment, LOL

Did you meet yours from an ad in a truck magazine too?

Yeah, reality can be pretty harsh at times.

Just bumped into her in Prague

Really, let me guess

She is young, by that I mean she was not educated in the Soviet system which means she never stood in line to buy a 1/2 cucumber for breakfast or got taken out of class at harvest time to be taken in a truck to the villages to pick crops. Right so far? She was never in the Young Pioneers or Komsomol. She does not have an education past secondary school, maybe some sort of trade school. She has no children and never had any real responsibility because she lived at home. She is from Moscow or St. Petersburg. She is beautiful (OK, she's Russian, that one's a gimme) You are considerably older, probably 15+ years. How am I doing?

[john & jean 37]

I think if it were me I would take the cheap way out. A one way ticket and good legal assistance.........

[justashooter 430]

you got a tough decision to make. it's even more complicated if you're not renting and your lease isn't just about up.

sounds like she is stashing cash and waiting till the GC before she leaves in the car you buy her.

just bought my wife a slightly used el dorado to replace the new yorker she learned to drive on. this after living with her for 4 years and getting less than 5% #######. if i was a short timer like you i wouldn't be so loose with the cash.

[lala14 0]

You are very generous person...I would be extremly haqppy to get 500$ from my husband...i get no money, no car ..nothing...I think she does not apreciate you, get rid of her!