Americans caught sneaking across the border into Canada

[workin4somethin 0]

A flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The actions of President Bush are prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and agree with Bill O'Reilly.

Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night.

"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. "He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range

chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers and blaring Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk."

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves.

"A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop of drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though."

When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear

retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR races.

In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some

have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian

immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers on Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney hits to prove they were alive in the '50s.

"If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age," an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies. "I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said.

"How many art-history majors does one country need?"

In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice President ####### Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals, a source close to Cheney said. We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might put some endangered species on postage stamps. The President is determined to reach out," he said.

[incanada1234 0]

A flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week

If only, IF ONLY, this were true. I would love my country even more!

"How many art-history majors does one country need?"

HA!

[Ban Hammer 14,170]

[Fuzzness 2]

that is so incredibly ignorant, idiotic, and... funny!

[jen&darcy 0]

that is so incredibly ignorant, idiotic, and... funny!

Agree!

[moondancer627 0]

Liberals are probably not wanting to sneak as much since the change over in government.

I only want to sneak there, cause its too hot here, but then again Tucson doesn't have mosquitos.

Moondancer

[Fandango 1,440]

speaking of sneaking, what I kinda think that's sucky is people banned from US being told to emigrate to Canada, & then come to USA as a Canadian citizen...now that's not cool at all

Sorry, had to vent

[hafiz 1]

love it, excellent post.

Edited July 1, 2006 by hafiz30

[tmma 467]

speaking of sneaking, what I kinda think that's sucky is people banned from US being told to emigrate to Canada, & then come to USA as a Canadian citizen...now that's not cool at all

Sorry, had to vent

One can hope the system in Canada works too

Otherwise-that's scarey.

[slim 1,533]

I wonder if Canada will have an "amnesty period" for those Yankees making their way across the border?

[daisy16 1]

I'm finding out quickly how much of a liberal I am!

[Nessa 23]

oh my :lol: