Is time and distance

[babybunny 2]

You will make it! My fiance and I went almost 2 years once not seeing each other. Phone calls and letters is what got us through it--and trust. Believe in your relationship and all will work out.

I agree!!

we been in AP Hell..

10 months... << and counting >>

[Melo 1]

The Gypsy and I have been apart almost exactly a year... but our feelings for each other just get stronger by the day... I know that there is no one else I would rather be with... and am learning the meaning of the word patience.

[Sinergy 3]

I have not seen my fiance since January of 2005, and we had our problems and such with the distance, but in all i think and he agrees that all of this made us stronger in our relationship and our hearts. It made us fight harder for what we want, and that is to be together. and in a week our 1 yr + months of waiting will come to an end

It will take time, but you will get there too, dont let the seperation take you over too much emotionally,mentally or phsycally.

Hugs,

Tara

[*Robert* 2]

LDR's suck. Period.

[Tim and Bethanie 1]

At one point we spent a year apart, can't say I felt like we drifted apart. If anything this ordeal has brought us closer together, perhaps not in a physical sense but as a couple emotionally. The only thing I can compare what you or your fiancee may be experiencing is the lack of intimacy, be it holding hands or snuggled up together to watch a movie. The physical part of a relationship is very important, and it is something all of us have to learn to do without during our journeys. I think what we all come away with is a relationship built on trust, reliability in the other person, and strong communication most couples never obtain this even in years of marriage. Try to stay focused on what the outcome of this wait is all about, use the time to love and learn more about one another and you will make it.

B

[Anyta Holland 1]

Love always prevails if it's true... Hang in there and show him that the wait is worth his while!

[Ladylethal 12]

I too haven´t seen my fiance since January, and in no way either of us EVER consider giving up. We´re each day closer and this process is bringing us even closer, we talk daily as we have done the past 4 years, and we´ve had to wait 5 months each time after we saw each other until we saw each other again.

If you don´t have the strenght to survive this last step of your journey, you should question your own hearts.

[PlatyPius 5]

Sian and I haven't drifted apart. True, we've both been a little "brittle" at times on MSN, but a phone call takes care of that. It's just the whole stress thing with both of us. (Distance, the wait, her Mom is dying from small cell lung cancer, financial issues on my end, etc.)

We've never really had a fight though, or thought about giving up, or anything like that.

BTW: She'll be here this time tomorrow. w00t!

[Melo 1]

Sian and I haven't drifted apart. True, we've both been a little "brittle" at times on MSN, but a phone call takes care of that. It's just the whole stress thing with both of us. (Distance, the wait, her Mom is dying from small cell lung cancer, financial issues on my end, etc.)

We've never really had a fight though, or thought about giving up, or anything like that.

BTW: She'll be here this time tomorrow. w00t!

That is fantastic news... soooooooooooooooooo glad for you

[Ladylethal 12]

Luis and do have some bickering sometimes as well, also ´cus of family problems and financial issues, but we´re here to support each other through all and we know we´ll overcome all obstacles.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Fuzz may speak the truth but it takes work to maintain that intimacy that's so important in a relationship. David and I email begin and end each day with an email to each other, talk at least twice (using Skype), and text message throughout the day. I send him pictures of simple things, like my rhododendron when they bloomed... a new picture/frame that I hung on the wall... we talk about simple little details of the day.... and ask each other "what was the best part of your day? what was the worst? why?" to get to a better understanding of each other's feelings.

David just left after having been here for 4 weeks so we are preparing ourselves for a long time apart (until he gets his visa)... we've both been married before so we bought the book Saving Your Second Marriage Before It Starts and the workbooks that go with it. He took a book/workbook and I have a set... we are going to work through and discuss one chapter a month to help us stay connected.

There are other books you may want to consider, like The Hard Questions: 100 Essential Questions to Ask Before You Say "I Do" by Susan Piver (Amazon.com).... all in an effort to get past how much you miss each other, how many touches you didn't get this week, and what the weather is like...

Hang tough... if you love each other and want to be together, you have to put effort into more than just the process. Focusing on the marriage is infinitely more important than focusing on the wedding...

Jen

I know there's a plethora of books out there on relationships, but here's also a good one worth reading, Keeping The Love You Find - Harville Hendrix. I read it after my divorce 4 years ago. I wanted to do what I could personally to learn from the past and to have a chance at a lasting relationship.

I don't mean to put any dampers on the OP's hope, but there are some people, particularly younger who do change and drift apart. Ultimately what will be will be. I've been in relationships where I held on to them and held them together long after it was obvious that they were falling apart. If you're feeling distance from you fiance, you shouldn't ignore it either. Try to talk about it. Does his family support your relationship? That's important - or at least that he has some network of support from people around him.

One last thing. If you both are talking everyday over the phone, perhaps try taking a few days of no contact, maybe even a week. That can really help as some other posters stated that being apart brings you closer. Talking everyday on the phone can sometimes interfere with that part of missing each other. Just my two cents.

[Jaylen Brit 1]

I always feel odd when I see these topics cos I never really feel that way - I wonder if its cos Im older (102, no..ok..but Im not 21 either, lol)..or just that I know I can be self-reliant.. I need my SO for many things but I don't need him to live my life (if that even makes sense, its really late here! lol) He's part OF my life, and part OF me, but without his physical presence I am still capable and confident in the things that I do. He is the same..he has to work, bring up his kids cook etc - he does all these thing quite adequately without needing to hear my voice every 4 seconds. We DO miss each other if we don't catch up on AIM or IM at least once a day..but sometimes things happen and it just has to be dealt with - and we don't make it to the PC in time. I don't cry myself to sleep over it tho - we also speak very infrequently over the phone (partly due to my living arrangements/ conditions atm and also he works shifts and doesnt want to wake the whole house, lol)..but we have a deeper connection - it can survive us being apart, it can survive a day or 2 of ZERO contact if it has to.. I feel better being WITH him, and I miss him when I don't 'hear' from him, but I do ok without as well..

Maybe that's the difference? Self-confidence and self-belief?

[almaty 19]

juliekins, sorry if i was rude earllier,. i wish you good speed to be together

[Melo 1]

I always feel odd when I see these topics cos I never really feel that way - I wonder if its cos Im older (102, no..ok..but Im not 21 either, lol)..or just that I know I can be self-reliant.. I need my SO for many things but I don't need him to live my life (if that even makes sense, its really late here! lol) He's part OF my life, and part OF me, but without his physical presence I am still capable and confident in the things that I do. He is the same..he has to work, bring up his kids cook etc - he does all these thing quite adequately without needing to hear my voice every 4 seconds. We DO miss each other if we don't catch up on AIM or IM at least once a day..but sometimes things happen and it just has to be dealt with - and we don't make it to the PC in time. I don't cry myself to sleep over it tho - we also speak very infrequently over the phone (partly due to my living arrangements/ conditions atm and also he works shifts and doesnt want to wake the whole house, lol)..but we have a deeper connection - it can survive us being apart, it can survive a day or 2 of ZERO contact if it has to.. I feel better being WITH him, and I miss him when I don't 'hear' from him, but I do ok without as well..

Maybe that's the difference? Self-confidence and self-belief?

That is so very true Jay... wise words me darling

[yassmine2878 1]

I ve been feeling sad lately..

its been since January since me and my fiance have not seen eachother... and we are still waiting for aproval from CSC. But I can feel how time is distance is getting us further and further apart.... this process is so hard... and i think he is about to give up... not being able to see eachother is so hard... I just wish we finaly get approved so this process can move further along. everyday that goes by we get more and more distant.

where is my NOA2?

Keeping it creative always helps Ahmed and I. As silly as it sounds we like to play an occasional game of Go Fish on Yahoo. He had never played it before and to be honest we were both getting a little bored with the same ol' chat window. After only one game he was whooping my @$$. He also enjoys learning a little English slang. It's been a long time for us, too. 4 months since we last saw each other and 3 months since we sent the petition. Best advice is to just be creative and keep the faith. Go look at Home Depot and Target online together to pick out goodies for your future home, be silly Best of luck to you hon, I know its hard sometimes, but it will all be over soon.