Why I don't want children

[childress_london 3]

Oh...Mrs. Cat, I guess I'm lucky then! My mom is the one who's always telling me to never ever have kids! It's my husband's mom and stepdad who really want grandkids. I feel like I'll be letting them down if we don't have kids. ~sighs~ There's part of me that wants to have them and a part that really doesn't. My husband's the same way. We can't decide. That's probably a good sign that we shouldn't have them right now for sure!

I agree. If you don't know for sure if you want kids or not, don't have them! Better safe than sorry. People really shouldn't have children so their parents can fulfill their wish of being grandparents. I don't get that anyway. It doesn't matter to me if my children ever have kids or not. That's their choice.

[rebeccajo 14]

Me neither.. I have no idea what someone could say? Is it in reference to your "womanhood" or something?

Really?! Never?!

I get it all the time. The worst offender is my mother. She always says things like, well one day when you're less selfish of a person, you'll want kids. In only the way a mother can, that you forgive the backhandedness of the comment.

Or, another one from my friends is, I guess you two don't know each other that well, so I can understand why you might not want to have kids right away. Like yeah, we didn't discuss those things, and we really only slept together a few times and decided to get married.

Another one I heard from my friend was if a couple is married for more than 2 years and don't have kids there is something physically wrong with them, or they're having marital problems. Yup, those are the only two options.

Have you ever heard this one - being a parent to one child isn't really being a parent?

Yes - several 'expert' parents have told me that if you only have one, that's not a family. 'Real' parenting involves raising more than one so you can fully suffer through their sibling rivalry; experience feeding, clothing and educating more than one; juggle the schedules of more than one...........

On parenting - I personally feel that if you never parent by choice, you've missed out on one of life's greatest joys. But there again, one man's meat is another man's poison, you know?

My sister is childless by choice. Personally I think she would have made a good parent - she disagrees. Insofar as 'interfamily' relations go, it really bugs me when my childless sister starts telling me how I should handle this or that situation with my son. It's my opinion that if you haven't raised a child, you really have no business suggesting to others how to raise theirs. I would draw the parallel to having gone through the US immigration process - you can't really know what it's like unless you've been there and done it. It's a very personal and emotional thing.

Summation - unless we see some sort of abuse or emotional harm going on, we really should stay out of other people's parenting.

[Sprailenes 47]

My mom always says about me being an only child: "I did it right the first time"

[Emancipation 2]

Me neither.. I have no idea what someone could say? Is it in reference to your "womanhood" or something?

Really?! Never?!

I get it all the time. The worst offender is my mother. She always says things like, well one day when you're less selfish of a person, you'll want kids. In only the way a mother can, that you forgive the backhandedness of the comment.

Or, another one from my friends is, I guess you two don't know each other that well, so I can understand why you might not want to have kids right away. Like yeah, we didn't discuss those things, and we really only slept together a few times and decided to get married.

Another one I heard from my friend was if a couple is married for more than 2 years and don't have kids there is something physically wrong with them, or they're having marital problems. Yup, those are the only two options.

wow... Never got any of those..

Most people have known from the time I was a teenager I never wanted to hold and infant, never really wanted anything to do with kids.. I guess most people know me maybe? not sure.. people sometimes ask me if we are going to have kids and when I say no.. the conversation usually doesn't go any further.. weird.

[childress_london 3]

Me neither.. I have no idea what someone could say? Is it in reference to your "womanhood" or something?

Really?! Never?!

I get it all the time. The worst offender is my mother. She always says things like, well one day when you're less selfish of a person, you'll want kids. In only the way a mother can, that you forgive the backhandedness of the comment.

Or, another one from my friends is, I guess you two don't know each other that well, so I can understand why you might not want to have kids right away. Like yeah, we didn't discuss those things, and we really only slept together a few times and decided to get married.

Another one I heard from my friend was if a couple is married for more than 2 years and don't have kids there is something physically wrong with them, or they're having marital problems. Yup, those are the only two options.

Have you ever heard this one - being a parent to one child isn't really being a parent?

Yes - several 'expert' parents have told me that if you only have one, that's not a family. 'Real' parenting involves raising more than one so you can fully suffer through their sibling rivalry; experience feeding, clothing and educating more than one; juggle the schedules of more than one...........

On parenting - I personally feel that if you never parent by choice, you've missed out on one of life's greatest joys. But there again, one man's meat is another man's poison, you know?

My sister is childless by choice. Personally I think she would have made a good parent - she disagrees. Insofar as 'interfamily' relations go, it really bugs me when my childless sister starts telling me how I should handle this or that situation with my son. It's my opinion that if you haven't raised a child, you really have no business suggesting to others how to raise theirs. I would draw the parallel to having gone through the US immigration process - you can't really know what it's like unless you've been there and done it. It's a very personal and emotional thing.

Summation - unless we see some sort of abuse or emotional harm going on, we really should stay out of other people's parenting.

The narrowmindedness of people never ceases to amaze me. And why would people think that you should suffer if you are a parent? Perhaps it's some sadisitic desire to have others suffer because they feel they have. :-P Parenting should not be torture, it should be a joy. If you don't think it will be a joy, don't have children or don't have more children. As far as giving parenting advice, I think even parents should not give advice to other parents unless it is requested. Parenting is far too complex and every situation and family dynamic too different for anybody to make assumptions and tell you what you should be doing.

[warlord 72]

We both don't want kids. I personally never liked kids at all. They're ugly and destroy things and to me is a huge money sink ha ha. I have never yet to date seen a adorable kid like everyone states. I'd rather have teenage cats instead or baby turtles or some other type of animal. Those are the only kids we want.

My parents for awhile had kept bringing up the family legacy and how my two brothers and I were the last of the chain etc. Luckily they both have 2 kids of their own so the burden is off me.

Another good reason is so I don't have to put up photos all over my cube like some of my coworkers do of their ugly kids. I'm like I get it, you have a kid, thrills, now put one up of your freaking spouse or something else.

My wife actually doesn't mind other peoples kids, and keeps trying to remind me that I was a kid once too. I keep telling her I was hatched and skipped childhood and was born an adult. She doesn't believe me. She even looks and tells me how cute and adorable my baby photos are (thanks to my parents showing her). I'm like no, I'm an ugly kid like all the others, I just haven't spit up all over the camera lense yet...

[childress_london 3]

We both don't want kids. I personally never liked kids at all. They're ugly and destroy things and to me is a huge money sink ha ha. I have never yet to date seen a adorable kid like everyone states. I'd rather have teenage cats instead or baby turtles or some other type of animal. Those are the only kids we want.

My parents for awhile had kept bringing up the family legacy and how my two brothers and I were the last of the chain etc. Luckily they both have 2 kids of their own so the burden is off me.

Another good reason is so I don't have to put up photos all over my cube like some of my coworkers do of their ugly kids. I'm like I get it, you have a kid, thrills, now put one up of your freaking spouse or something else.

My wife actually doesn't mind other peoples kids, and keeps trying to remind me that I was a kid once too. I keep telling her I was hatched and skipped childhood and was born an adult. She doesn't believe me. She even looks and tells me how cute and adorable my baby photos are (thanks to my parents showing her). I'm like no, I'm an ugly kid like all the others, I just haven't spit up all over the camera lense yet...

I have kids and I don't like seeing other people's pix of their kids in their cube or office either. :-P I generally don't put pictures like that up at work. It would be too distracting anyway.

VJ is distracting enough.

Edited April 10, 2009 by childress_london

[Ban Hammer 12,861]