Why I don't want children

[Sprailenes 47]

How are people expected to discipline their kids these days?

That is seriously pathetic.

[thetreble 19]

Oh my word. I cant...holy...ASKJSLKGJSDGSH!

[Emancipation 2]

The "comment" section seems to imply there is more to the story than what's written (ie. the father didn't have sole custody, and that they shared custody), etc. but either way.. how this stuff ever makes it to court.. beyond me.

[The_Dude 1,142]

Now can he counter-sue his daughter for her insubordination and poor behavior?

That is just sad that courts are even entertaining these lawsuits.

[Emancipation 2]

Now can he counter-sue his daughter for her insubordination and poor behavior?

That is just sad that courts are even entertaining these lawsuits.

but the trip was "important" to her..

[childress_london 3]

First of all, regarding the link to the news story, the law has no place dictating how you discipline your children unless it is abuse.

Secondly, I don't know all of the details about the OP's sister-in-law, but my ex husband and I used to get a babysitter periodically and go on a "date". When the kids got older, they understood that mommy and daddy occasionally went out without them and on a date. They actually loved those times because they always had so much fun with the babysitter. Admittedly, this was more frequent as they got older. When children are very young, you are a little nervous about leaving them. On the flip side, there are some mothers who are so attached and/or insecure about their children that they will not leave them with anyone else even for five minutes. My mother was like that. She never left us with a babysitter and I can't remember her and my dad ever going out alone without us kids until we were grown. If your sister-in-law is one of those, then probably nothing you say will convince her to go off without her kids in tow.

[Udella&Wiz 325]

Like you said, some kids react well to discipline (my sister) and some don't (me). My family had a nickname for me when I was a kid..... Robespierre. I was a terror as a child, and there was virtually no punishment that would stop me. Now take into context that this was the 1980's, so half of the stuff kids pull today wasn't even within the realm of possibilities then.

You sound like my brother.. my parents could spank him all day and he wouldn't care.. he was wild and would run down to the highway and lay on the pavement because it was "warm" in the summer.. so they had to tie him to the back doorstep when he played outside.. sure wouldn't be "allowed" today

But if you took his lego away.. THEMS was fighting words

LOL - my little brother was tied to the back door of the cottage when were were up north - my mum never knew whether he'd jump in the lake, so she made him wear a lifejacket full-tyime and tied a rope to the back loop....it was really long, like 40'...but at least he had some range.

Probaby illegal today like you said, but cripes she had 3 kids close in age!

When I think of various things my parents did or even I did, they worked at the time.....parents aren't perfect

- my mum would put my older brother and I in the back yard and lock the screen door, she could hear us, but we couldn't come in and bug her every 2 seconds while she was getting dinner ready or whatever - and we somehow survived.

- I wasn't spanked past 5 yrs old or so, I turned out fine. I got sent to my room a heck of lot though! I do not have any complexes (good ones anyway)

- my older brother got the strap at school regularly, didn't seem to help much, he was a knob, he seems relatively well adjusted

- I distinctly remember being spanked by my first grade teacher, what a wallop! Never dallied at the waterfountain again!

As an aside - my family is a big believer in NOT medicating kids unless it's a last resort, could be partially because my parents are both teachers and they've seen a lot. Spirited, creative and boisterous mean a healthy happy kid to them...maybe someone who needs some outdoor activity, but that's their fix for everything More physical activity...,..

My mother did things parents would always threaten to do but she would actually follow through with them. Example:

I skipped 3 days of highschool school and got caught. She dealt with the situation by getting dressed up in furry kmart slippers, a shower cap and a house coat and she walked me to every single class.

I never... ever skipped class again.

That reminds me of my sister-in-law. Her daughters kept forgetting their lunches and their homework and would be forever calling Sharon to bring them to the school for them. So Sharon told them that the next time they insisted she bring the missing items she would show up in the same type of attire.... curlers, housedress, etc.... and then followed through with it. They never called her again.

Love it!

[Levi_Heather 0]

That story is just unbelievable! Now we can't even ground our children when its needed! But if he had let her continue to post inappropriate pictures of herself and it was reported then he would be negligent! Shocking

[DeadPoolX 9]

http://www.cbc.ca/canada/montreal/story/20...s-dad-0407.html

have you guys seen this?

That doesn't surprise me. Spanking your child has now become synonymous with child abuse, so why not grounding them too? While I don't advocate spankings in lieu of other forms of punishment, I do think there are rare occasions when spankings are necessary.

Here's a funny story: A professor I once had told the class about his daughter. She's young (probably six to eight years of age) and when they were shopping at Target, the daughter started getting very difficult to deal with. When my professor finally threatened to spank her, the girl said: "You can't spank me. We're in public!" Guess what my professor did? He pulled her to the side and spanked her.

First of all, regarding the link to the news story, the law has no place dictating how you discipline your children unless it is abuse.

Secondly, I don't know all of the details about the OP's sister-in-law, but my ex husband and I used to get a babysitter periodically and go on a "date". When the kids got older, they understood that mommy and daddy occasionally went out without them and on a date. They actually loved those times because they always had so much fun with the babysitter. Admittedly, this was more frequent as they got older. When children are very young, you are a little nervous about leaving them. On the flip side, there are some mothers who are so attached and/or insecure about their children that they will not leave them with anyone else even for five minutes. My mother was like that. She never left us with a babysitter and I can't remember her and my dad ever going out alone without us kids until we were grown. If your sister-in-law is one of those, then probably nothing you say will convince her to go off without her kids in tow.

That's the issue. No one can really babysit (not her husband, her parents or me) the kids, so she never has any free time. Part of that is just being a mom, but another part is her own fault. She needs to loosen her grip, especially since her oldest child will be in school. Unless she's planning on home schooling them, she'll have to leave her daughter with the teacher.

You sound like my brother.. my parents could spank him all day and he wouldn't care.. he was wild and would run down to the highway and lay on the pavement because it was "warm" in the summer.. so they had to tie him to the back doorstep when he played outside.. sure wouldn't be "allowed" today

But if you took his lego away.. THEMS was fighting words

My mom once told me that my grandfather tied her and my uncle to a tree and made them Davy Crockett before he let them go.

Edited April 8, 2009 by Sentinel

[JillA 2]

Sentinel, your choices are yours and glad to hear your wife knows how you feel. My last relationship before this one, I was in for 2 years. About 6 months into, we started talking about stuff like kids. I made it clear I wanted a family, he made it clear he did not. For the same reasons as you in fact. It hurt me but I thought he might change. So we dated 1.5 years longer, I hoped he'd change. Of course, I learned now you don't change stuff like that. He was adamant about not having kids that he was getting a vasectomy at age 26. The day I found that out I broke up with him and never looked back. There are some things you accept in your partner but I'd never accept that. Not too long after we broke up, I met my US love and here I am today fate works in funny ways!

[Krikit 1,163]

My mom once told me that my grandfather tied her and my uncle to a tree and made them Davy Crockett before he let them go.

I have no idea what that means! This should be in the Weird Things Americans Have Said thread.

[DeadPoolX 9]

My mom once told me that my grandfather tied her and my uncle to a tree and made them Davy Crockett before he let them go.

I have no idea what that means! This should be in the Weird Things Americans Have Said thread.

You know who Davy Crockett was, right? Well, for some odd reason, my grandfather made them sing a song about him. It went something like this: "Davy! Davy Crockett, king of the wild frontier!"

[Krikit 1,163]

My mom once told me that my grandfather tied her and my uncle to a tree and made them Davy Crockett before he let them go.

I have no idea what that means! This should be in the Weird Things Americans Have Said thread.

You know who Davy Crockett was, right? Well, for some odd reason, my grandfather made them sing a song about him. It went something like this: "Davy! Davy Crockett, king of the wild frontier!"

Oh. I guess if you'd inserted the word "sing" into your sentence I wouldn't have been so confused. LOL

Edited April 8, 2009 by Krikit

[trailmix 77]

My mom once told me that my grandfather tied her and my uncle to a tree and made them Davy Crockett before he let them go.

I have no idea what that means! This should be in the Weird Things Americans Have Said thread.

You know who Davy Crockett was, right? Well, for some odd reason, my grandfather made them sing a song about him. It went something like this: "Davy! Davy Crockett, king of the wild frontier!"

Oh. I guess if you'd inserted the word "sing" into your sentence I wouldn't have been so confused. LOL

agreed

[DeadPoolX 9]

Aw #######. Got me there.

I've been awake for almost 24 hours, so my ability to communicate has steadily gone downhill. By tonight, I'll be grunting.