My wife threw her marriage and life here away

[Merrillizer 0]

you are correct, I should have called the police when I was bleeding from several places on the left side of my face. I should have, but I didnt because I did not want to see my wife get hauled off and put into jail. I could not see why that would help our situation. And yes, I did have push her off of me. And yes, I realized and STILL realize that even me pushing her off of me is "assault", but at some point natural instinct kicks in. I even went as far as offering to turn my self into police because I pushed her off of me. I asked her 5 or 6 times if she wanted me to go. She said no. She did not want to do that, for either of us to go to jail over a fight. I have a never raised a hand to my wife, ever. I never hit her, ever. I was never unfaithful to her or our marriage either. Ever. However, my wife has hit me, NUMEROUS TIMES, and her favorite thing to do is spit. She has spit at me, on me. In my face. Numerous times. But I never called police to tell them my 5' 3" 100 pound wife was hitting me and/ spitting on me. I didnt feel the need.

But, I did feel the need to call police when she showed her and grabbed a large knife off the kitchen counter. I felt something like that, at the very least, needed to be reported, in case something else happened in the future here. And sure enough, something else happened. I didnt call the police because I was afraid of my wife, I called to make a report/statement so I could show that there was INTENT in the past here to maybe inflict harm on me or "scare" me.

You will never hear me claim myself as an angel in this unfortunate situation. Because I am not. But I can tell you that I truly believe in my heart that I do not deserve to be thrown into this terrible situation. I will also say, that even after all the intent my wife has shown to be a potential adulterer, after all the lies, deception and deceit she has shown me, after all the disrespect, I still care about my wife. Well, soon to EX-WIFE.....

[Ginger cat 3]

I suppose her restraining order against me is because I pushed her off my head, only after my face was cut up and bloodied by her clawing and scratching, and I had a black eye from her slamming her finger into it.

I don't know how bad it was but, could you still get a police report for her agression to you? I think you may need it latter.

I am not sure if it would help. Besides, they would probably laugh at me anyway now since it happened late last Friday night, and here it is Tuesday now. The only thing that helped me is the fact that I called the police on her one day during the first week after she originally walked out on her marriage. She coming over almost everyday trying to work out an "agreement" with me so I would still help her stay here legally. I was so busy trying to reconcile, but she was still under the impression she deserved to be rewarded for her actions. I think it was 4 or 5 days after she left, I was talking to her on Yahoo messenger, and she suddenly wasnt online anymore. Then, about 10 minutes later, I heard banging on the front door. I opened it, to see my wife standing there with the giant 4 foot tall teddy bear I had bought her for Valentines Day, she barged in, shoved me out of the way, and made a B-line for the kitchen counter where she went right to the knife block and grabbed a huge carving knife from it. She turned to come back into the living room, and I was like, #######? I had my hands in the air, totally shocked. She gave me a look as she moved past me, back towards the front door, and thats where she started started stabbing the teddy bear in the chest and cutting it up. I just stood there and watched in amazement. I couldnt believe what was happening. When she was done, she then started going about the house finding pictures of us and ripping them up all over the places, smashing things, tipping things over, etc. At this point, she had realized that because she had walked away and turned her back on me and my family, that our sponsor (my brother in law) was no longer willing to co-sponsor her. This made her realize it was probably over for her, and she became engraged.

oh! i forgot to tell you...

she is also insane.

Edited April 8, 2009 by Ginger cat

[Ginger cat 3]

you are correct, I should have called the police when I was bleeding from several places on the left side of my face. I should have, but I didnt because I did not want to see my wife get hauled off and put into jail. I could not see why that would help our situation. And yes, I did have push her off of me. And yes, I realized and STILL realize that even me pushing her off of me is "assault", but at some point natural instinct kicks in. I even went as far as offering to turn my self into police because I pushed her off of me. I asked her 5 or 6 times if she wanted me to go. She said no. She did not want to do that, for either of us to go to jail over a fight. I have a never raised a hand to my wife, ever. I never hit her, ever. I was never unfaithful to her or our marriage either. Ever. However, my wife has hit me, NUMEROUS TIMES, and her favorite thing to do is spit. She has spit at me, on me. In my face. Numerous times. But I never called police to tell them my 5' 3" 100 pound wife was hitting me and/ spitting on me. I didnt feel the need.

But, I did feel the need to call police when she showed her and grabbed a large knife off the kitchen counter. I felt something like that, at the very least, needed to be reported, in case something else happened in the future here. And sure enough, something else happened. I didnt call the police because I was afraid of my wife, I called to make a report/statement so I could show that there was INTENT in the past here to maybe inflict harm on me or "scare" me.

You will never hear me claim myself as an angel in this unfortunate situation. Because I am not. But I can tell you that I truly believe in my heart that I do not deserve to be thrown into this terrible situation. I will also say, that even after all the intent my wife has shown to be a potential adulterer, after all the lies, deception and deceit she has shown me, after all the disrespect, I still care about my wife. Well, soon to EX-WIFE.....

oh my gawd...

i am speechless.

[kcoyclay1 98]

A sad case indeed. CaptainRubyHeart I believe he is the one seeking the divorce. That woman is trying to claim spousal abuse by taking out a restraining order. We do not know what she cooked up in her mind in order to have that order approved. I guess she said something like you are abusive and that she is afraid for her life. Well guess what, she has never reported abuse so there is no police report as evidence. You have all the proof against her so use them. A pity yuo didn't take some pictures of the blood on your face. You had compassion and she had intended to get her residency and leave you.

It is really sad when someone bites the hand that feeds them and worse when they do not care that they are messing with someone's feelings. I really hope that all these users will be revealed before their processing goes through because they are just playing with person's emotions.

All the best my dear. Hope you will get over this soon.

Edited April 8, 2009 by kcoyclay1

[Merrillizer 0]

A sad case indeed. CaptainRubyHeart I believe he is the one seeking the divorce. That woman is trying to claim spousal abuse by taking out a restraining order. We do not know what she cooked up in her mind in order to have that order approved. I guess she said something like you are abusive and that she is afraid for her life. Well guess what, she has never reported abuse so there is no police report as evidence. You have all the proof against her so use them. A pity yuo didn't take some pictures of the blood on your face. You had compassion and she had intended to get her residency and leave you.

It is really sad when someone bites the hand that feeds them and worse when they do not care that they are messing with someone's feelings. I really hope that all these users will be revealed before their processing goes through because they are just playing with person's emotions.

All the best my dear. Hope you will get over this soon.

Thank you. I just noticed on the USCIS site that it still says her case is being processed. I wonder how long it will take to update that.

Court tomorrow morning with my wife. Will report!

[HappyDancer 7]

You are going to have the divorce whether she likes it or not. I certainly hope you keep all the records of her infidelity. She does have a job and I am not really well versed how Immigration will take that since she can support herself, she might opt to adjust status by herself. The catch - she needs to present evidence why she is adjusting independently and that involves her proving she is a victim of domestic violence and some others. I would have thought about you filing a medical report on her hitting you - that wouldn't look very good on her case.

She needs to get deported I agree... But it's as easy as it looks.

Good luck my friend and hopefully you get your life in great order ASAP. Good riddance to the wench.

[Mary Lou 673]

You are going to have the divorce whether she likes it or not. I certainly hope you keep all the records of her infidelity. She does have a job and I am not really well versed how Immigration will take that since she can support herself, she might opt to adjust status by herself. The catch - she needs to present evidence why she is adjusting independently and that involves her proving she is a victim of domestic violence and some others. I would have thought about you filing a medical report on her hitting you - that wouldn't look very good on her case.

She needs to get deported I agree... But it's as easy as it looks.

Good luck my friend and hopefully you get your life in great order ASAP. Good riddance to the wench.

She cant adjust at ALL, the OP said she was working illegally, plus he withdrew his application for her. She has no legal status here.

Best of luck in court tomorrow OP.

[HappyDancer 7]

Oh well... that's so much better than what I thought!

OP: Keep your head up and bring your life back!

[Merrillizer 0]

Oh well... that's so much better than what I thought!

OP: Keep your head up and bring your life back!

Thanks guys. Yeah, she is working illegally. Today is supposed to be her last day there though, as her told her boss I like him and am very grateful for the help he gave to us, but I told him that if she tries to destroy me before going home, I will report him if he continues to let her work there. I said he understand, and would only let her work until today.

So, court was a sham. I got the bone in the #### for sure. I showed up, the court officers said my wife and I werent on the list. Hmmmm. The restraining order she had on me was canceled, she had canceled it the day I let her move back in, March 31st. But after I kicked her out for lying last Saturday afternoon, she went back to the police and wanted another order against me. Well they served me a copy of the old order that was canceled. Anyway, so she shows up to court late anyway, one of the illegal aliens she is staying with dropped her off lol. But he didnt drop her off in front of the court, he rolled a few hundred yards down the street and she got out lol. They tell her the same thing, no case on file. So she files a whole restraining order right there. Unreal. So we wait and an officer tells us the judge will hear the case today. I was happy for that, cuz I wanted to get it over with.

My wife showed up alone, with no paperwork or evidence at all. Just her words. I showed up with a manila folder full of paperwork from immigration and reports from police etc etc. We were called up, and the judge lets her talk first. She tells this silly story about what happened last Friday night and early saturday morning after I caught her talking with another man and lying about it. I swear her friend Tanya helped coached her and make up the story. I think they watch too many Mark Walhlberg movies lol. She said I want to kill her, kill our neighbor out back, kill myself etc etc. I couldnt believe the story she made up.

Then it was my turn. I started from March 5th, the day she walked out on me and her marriage. And I told everything that happened from then on. The knife incident, which makes my wife the original displayer of intent to show harm. I told him about catching her in a bedroom with another man with the lights out and door deadbolted, about her talking with another man and lying and telling me it was a girl on the phone. I told the judge that yes, I pushed my wife off of me after I allowed her to attack me and take out her aggression, but when her finger was underneath my left eyeball, the uncomfortable feeling caused a natural instinctual reaction to get whatever was causing it off of me. I then told the judge that I knew and accepted that even though I was the reaction to my wives action, and even though it was in defense of myself, I STILL knew it was not acceptable to push my wife away. I told him how I asked my wife if she wanted me to turn myself in for pushing her, but she said now 7 times, probably because she knew if they saw my bloody face, they would ask me what happened and she would be in trouble. I showed him the paperwork from immigration showing withdrawal of her case paperwork and legal status. But, nothing mattered. They just see a girl getting upset and telling a story, and grant her whatever they want.

So, the lying deceptive runt was awarded a 1 year final protection order. Nothing I said mattered, none of the evidence mattered. The judge didnt read a single thing I had brought. Nothing. I couldnt believe it. So after leaving, I came home and realized this is a sham. Bullsh!t. I drove all the way back to the court, and filed for a motion to reconsider because this girl is ILLEGAL here and if she is going home to Moldova on the other side of the planet, why should I have a protection order looming over my head for a year? When she won't even be in this country!? I am so disappointed and angry with the court. I am no threat to my wife, I just want her out of here and to move on with my life.

To top it off, I found out when I go back to file the motion to reconsider, that I AM NOT ALLOWED TO GO TO MY HOME!!! The judge checked off the option on the order giving my wife all right and access to the place, even though she doesnt even live there anymore! They didnt say anything like this in court, they spring it on me 3 hours later! I couldnt believe it. Goddamn illegal alien is being provided safe harbor at my expense!!!!!!! I pay the rent, she doesnt even co-habitate with me there!

So even though she is staying with illegal aliens, and doesnt even want to go home to my place, she is rewarded to exclusive access and rights to it! They said I cant go back without a police officer, even if she isnt there!!!! So the court is effectively aiding & abetting an illegal alien and breaking federal immigration laws! I love it.

This whole thing is a sham. It just gets worse and worse. If this girl is so scared, why not go home? Whats the best thing to do, even better than lying in court for a restraining order?.....going HOME WHERE YOU BELONG ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PLANET. There's no better safety than that. But she wants to HANG AROUND here to make my life miserable and destroy me.

She just wont go home, its crazy. She just cant get it through her thick head. GO HOME!!!

[KnightAndMagpie 7]

Dude. What kind of guy are you? You must have the testosterone of a woman. Grow a pair! You're a !@#$ing walking mat and your "blind love" doesn't sound blind at all, it sounds like you're a flat out retard.

-Knight.

Actually, you know what everyone? I think this dude's some kind of troll. He's baiting me.

Damn it, why can't I resist feeding them?

[Edit] To be clear, I'm not advocating the beating of a wife or anything. But how do you sit there as any self respecting guy and get walked on like that? Most of us say, "THE BULL@# STOPS HERE."

Edited April 11, 2009 by KnightAndMagpie

[KnightAndMagpie 7]

This whole thing is a sham.

Yes I agree. And you sound like a pathological liar.

It just gets worse and worse.

Stop posting here. Everything you just posted sounds like complete garbage. I know the courts tend to favor women, but not even hearing your side? LOL.

If this girl is so scared, why not go home? Whats the best thing to do, even better than lying in court for a restraining order?.....going HOME WHERE YOU BELONG ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PLANET. There's no better safety than that. But she wants to HANG AROUND here to make my life miserable and destroy me.

She just wont go home, its crazy. She just cant get it through her thick head. GO HOME!!!

Come clean. You beat the living hell out of her and now your pathological urge to lie and potentially sociopathic tendencies are driving you to justify what you did in your own skewed reality. You need help. Badly.

-Knight

Edited April 11, 2009 by KnightAndMagpie

[Carlos and Jocel 2]

@@@ Didnt I mentioned S-T-U-P-I-D- IN THE EARLIER that I Posted on this guy... he got you guys in the TRAP now..!

[Merrillizer 0]

This whole thing is a sham.

Yes I agree. And you sound like a pathological liar.

It just gets worse and worse.

Stop posting here. Everything you just posted sounds like complete garbage. I know the courts tend to favor women, but not even hearing your side? LOL.

If this girl is so scared, why not go home? Whats the best thing to do, even better than lying in court for a restraining order?.....going HOME WHERE YOU BELONG ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PLANET. There's no better safety than that. But she wants to HANG AROUND here to make my life miserable and destroy me.

She just wont go home, its crazy. She just cant get it through her thick head. GO HOME!!!

Come clean. You beat the living hell out of her and now your pathological urge to lie and potentially sociopathic tendencies are driving you to justify what you did in your own skewed reality. You need help. Badly.

-Knight

LMFAO. Yeah, I beat the hell out of her LMAO. You're a clownshoe. You and your silly delusions and assumptions. You sound terribly bored, to come in here and throw around baseless accusations. If I beat my wife, the police would've arrested me on Domestic Violence charges, automatically, as soon as she walked in to file a restraining order. But because she had no bruises, no scratches, no bumps, and she wasn't beaten, they didn't. Are you that pea-brained to not understand a simple DV charge? The police take pictures of victims injuries and use them in court. But because my wife was never beaten, they didn't have that. All you have to do to get a restraining order, is say you're scared.

Since your the resident psychologist, what type of help do I need exactly? You seem to know everything here, and have everybody figured out for sure, right? Everytime I see one of your posts, I gag. It's verbal diahhrea, and you seem to verbally accost people with your sophomoric personal attacks like it's needed here. I thought this place was to share experiences with others. I'm sorry you don't approve of mine, but I have just as much right to share it as anyone else. But I find your slander and libel totally unnecessary. But ofcourse, there's an a$$ for every seat, so your right to an opinion stands well too, as silly as it is. You sound very proud, much like my wife. Arrogance is bliss though, right? Pride is a crutch, and your mind is crippled. Save it for someone who would care.

Home Depot is having a sale on clothesline, get some and hang ya'self.

Edited April 12, 2009 by Merrillizer

[KnightAndMagpie 7]

LMFAO. Yeah, I beat the hell out of her LMAO. You're a clownshoe. You and your silly delusions and assumptions. You sound terribly bored, to come in here and throw around baseless accusations. If I beat my wife, the police would've arrested me on Domestic Violence charges, automatically, as soon as she walked in to file a restraining order. But because she had no bruises, no scratches, no bumps, and she wasn't beaten, they didn't. Are you that pea-brained to not understand a simple DV charge? The police take pictures of victims injuries and use them in court. But because my wife was never beaten, they didn't have that. All you have to do to get a restraining order, is say you're scared.

Since your the resident psychologist, what type of help do I need exactly? You seem to know everything here, and have everybody figured out for sure, right? Everytime I see one of your posts, I gag. It's verbal diahhrea, and you seem to verbally accost people with your sophomoric personal attacks like it's needed here. I thought this place was to share experiences with others. I'm sorry you don't approve of mine, but I have just as much right to share it as anyone else. But I find your slander and libel totally unnecessary. But ofcourse, there's an a$$ for every seat, so your right to an opinion stands well too, as silly as it is. You sound very proud, much like my wife. Arrogance is bliss though, right? Pride is a crutch, and your mind is crippled. Save it for someone who would care.

Home Depot is having a sale on clothesline, get some and hang ya'self.

You have to understand our skepticism. How can you go to court armed with logged evidence when she has presented none, save through her voice? Why would they bar you from YOUR home, giving her exclusive access, when the evidence has been supposedly pitted against her? There must have been something which didn't convince the judges, because she's the one who should heading home on a jet. That you're writing so venomously now makes me wonder why you didn't express the same with your wife when she had pulled a knife on you. Perhaps it is that you're braver to say such things to someone you don't know rather than to your own wife, or defend yourself well in court. Maybe he's struck a nerve with you because there's some grain in truth in what my Knight is suggesting.

I was a great deal more sympathetic until I looked over the court order; any judge would have to be blind, deaf and dumb to overlook evidence presented so strongly in your favour. Yes, we may be taken for granted, manipulated, but there's so much more that we likely don't know, as CaptainRubyHeart suggested. To provoke her so strongly there is perhaps another element unknown to us. Just as a reminder:

The way you have presented your story seems a bit skewed to me. For you to come across as this “nice guy” in such extreme circumstances is unrealistic, and I have to wonder if you’re telling the absolute truth about your actions. After your wife attacked you and clawed at your face, you didn’t do anything? Didn’t even call the police? I find it very hard to understand why you didn’t—and I’m not entirely sure I believe that it’s simply because you’re a “nice guy.” I know plenty of nice guys who would have called the police and had that woman arrested—wife or not. You are obviously not dumb; in fact, you seem like you’re quite intelligent, which makes your course of action more suspect to me. I don’t believe you’re giving us the whole story here—which I can understand—if I were in your shoes, I probably wouldn’t, either. You’re vulnerable and need support right now. But let me just say—and I don’t know this for certain, and you don’t have to say one way or another whether this is true or not—if you attacked that woman in a non self-defense manner either at the time of or before she attacked you, you really need to get an attorney. Run—don’t walk.

The other thing that causes me some suspicion is that you seem to understand what, exactly, a restraining order is and are very worried about her getting one against you. For those who don’t know, a restraining order is a temporary, court-issued order that is issued based on the SUSPICION that somebody (an ex, usually) will cause harm to you, either by stalking or harassment. Restraining orders are not criminally enforceable. A protective order is different—that is an order that is issued if someone HAS attacked you or cause you some sort of harm. YOU could get a protective order against her, if she did actually attack you in the manner you described and there is evidence to back it up. That is, unless there’s some reason that you don’t want to get one. I don’t know—it just doesn’t add up to me. I’m not a lawyer, but I grew up with a lawyer as a father and I used to work at a family practice law firm, so I feel like I know at least this much.

For the record? Knight is the most down-to-earth, humble and amazing person I know. He has gone above and beyond the call of duty throughout our own journey, though it's likely you'd hardly be interested in that. And I'd know, because I'm the one marrying him. Your petty attacks on him and your fierce defensiveness just seem to put you more in the red zone. Focus your bitter energy elsewhere. And just as you have a right to share your experiences, don't expect to receive fluff and sympathy with every response. We're all entitled to our opinions, whether you like them or not, or agree with them or not. You've asserted that yourself.

Whatever your issues, I hope fervently that you are able to resolve them -- whatever they may be.

Magpie.

Edited April 12, 2009 by KnightAndMagpie

[KnightAndMagpie 7]

Oh, and by the way -- I've dealt with domestic violence myself, which was why I left my family home. The police only got involved because Knight was able to contact them through a friend of mine. My case has been continuously logged, and it is for that reason that my family can no longer come near me. I can safely say that Knight is fairly versed in that area as a result of my own experiences. At least he had the guts to express his opinions openly.

Magpie.

Edited April 12, 2009 by KnightAndMagpie