She wants to go back :(

[Sandrila 1]

[Gumbolette 58]

Yeah, its understandable that she will feel that way.However, you have to make her fully understand that this is her new life now. And she has to go out on her crib and start acting like an adult. She choose to marry you and now she has the responsibly to be your wife.

Sit down and talk and give her options. Adjustment to a new place is not a piece of cake. let her engage to some activities that can divert her attention from missing her family.

This really makes a lot of sense but I just am not strong enough to sit her down and tell her that because I see her suffering so much, I just wish I cold help.

How did you deal with the culture shock?

I can't really say it now since Im still here in my country. But to tell you honestly, I've been experiencing culture differences ever since I marry my husband. You know, marrying someone from from a foreign land, to relocating, to adjustments , to finally living the way how society does... is just like a pieces of puzzle. We have to find ways how can we perfectly assemble every pieces so everything fits...

So "I" can fit to my new life and make it as a whole.

[rheanick 42]

Does she have any brazilian friends? It would lessen her loneliness if once in a while she could talk with someone using her local dialect.

I need some advice, my wife has only been in the country for 7 months and she says she doesn’t like it here, that she wants to go back but will wait until she gets all her documentation and until we have the financial means to move back. All of this will take about 4/5 years, until then I promised her I would send her back every year. This is really freaking me out, we had all these plans and now she’s changed everything, I don’t know what to do, I’m hoping in the years to come that she will change her mind because I really don’t want to go. She misses her family a lot which I COMPLETELY understand she says that she will never be able to have a life with her family again because she’s here. I don’t know what to do; everything she says is valid but… I just don’t know, do you think time will heal her? Has this happened to anyone else here?

[Corey-Mariya 14]

Hey everyone!

What does your wife do over here? Does she work or study?

I moved to the States in may 2008, first time I was pretty much locked in the house, I had no friend or job, I felt sick and awfull all the time, was telling my husband that I want to go back home to see everyone.

Now I work part time and go to school, I got some friends, and I feel like I belong here)Of cause, I feel homesick sometimes, but its normal))

Im sure your wife will get over it))

Mariya

[JKD_88 0]

Hey everyone!

What does your wife do over here? Does she work or study?

I moved to the States in may 2008, first time I was pretty much locked in the house, I had no friend or job, I felt sick and awfull all the time, was telling my husband that I want to go back home to see everyone.

Now I work part time and go to school, I got some friends, and I feel like I belong here)Of cause, I feel homesick sometimes, but its normal))

Im sure your wife will get over it))

Mariya

Unfortunately my wife is pretty much in the situation you were in when you arrived, stuck in the house. In 2 weeks she should start her english classes, she'll be getting around a bit on her own, hopefully meet some brazilians. I really don't know what to do, hopefully her getting out a bit will make her feel better. She says that her biggest problem is that she doesn't speak english, she feels alone, she can't work because of it and I understand I just wish I could make her feel better.

[LA80 3]

Hey everyone!

What does your wife do over here? Does she work or study?

I moved to the States in may 2008, first time I was pretty much locked in the house, I had no friend or job, I felt sick and awfull all the time, was telling my husband that I want to go back home to see everyone.

Now I work part time and go to school, I got some friends, and I feel like I belong here)Of cause, I feel homesick sometimes, but its normal))

Im sure your wife will get over it))

Mariya

Unfortunately my wife is pretty much in the situation you were in when you arrived, stuck in the house. In 2 weeks she should start her english classes, she'll be getting around a bit on her own, hopefully meet some brazilians. I really don't know what to do, hopefully her getting out a bit will make her feel better. She says that her biggest problem is that she doesn't speak english, she feels alone, she can't work because of it and I understand I just wish I could make her feel better.

Being in a foreign place and not being able to communicate, make friends or work can make a person miserable. You both have to be patient and you need to listen to her because she is telling you clearly what's the problem. Now, she cannot learn a language over a night, and she needs to be patient and understand that she would build the knowledge with time, and then the things will start rolling. Loneliness is a big enemy of both of you because when she gets lonely and has nothing to do, she will start thinking about her family, start comparing the new and old life, she will feel frustrated because the old life will seem much better to her, and she will not even give a chance to the new life.

I have been here for 2 months, and I must tell you it does not seem that long, and my cultural shock is not that bad at all but I only communicated with my husband and his family, and did not even go alone to the store, and that is freaking me out. There are two things that help me big time here. The first thing are my hobbies which help me kill the boredom and time till I find the job. The second thing is not really a thing but a little dog of my mother-in-law. They say animals can help people psychically, make them laugh when they are down, and I am never lonely and sad with that crazy animal. Now, I am not saying that you must get her an animal, I am just trying to illustrate how to keep her mind away from heavy thoughts and depression. Keep her busy and make her happy as much as you can. I know it is not easy, but that is what you have to do.

Edited January 21, 2009 by LA80

[Shad and Dani 3]

Yeah, its understandable that she will feel that way.However, you have to make her fully understand that this is her new life now. And she has to go out on her crib and start acting like an adult. She choose to marry you and now she has the responsibly to be your wife.

Sit down and talk and give her options. Adjustment to a new place is not a piece of cake. let her engage to some activities that can divert her attention from missing her family.

Exactly! MAN UP!