Risks associated with marrying a foreign girl

[Ban Hammer 15,105]

Funny, I got the impression the Original Poster is a little "indecisive".

If true, thats a big turn-off for those Russian gals.

hmmm i thought this was the big turn off for them:

[natty bumppo 297]

regarding the topic ...

1) you will find happiness

2) you will discover h3ll

either way the risk is no different than marrying a local girl

[Ban Hammer 15,105]

regarding the topic ...

1) you will find happiness

2) you will discover h3ll

either way the risk is no different than marrying a local girl

actually better than marrying a local girl - don't have to go spend most holiday events with her family

[natty bumppo 297]

regarding the topic ...

1) you will find happiness

2) you will discover h3ll

either way the risk is no different than marrying a local girl

actually better than marrying a local girl - don't have to go spend most holiday events with her family

with the ex ... this was never a problem

she was from skokie IL ... we celebrated all holidays

I believe in equal time ... and we set the rules

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

I have four Russian female customers from the business side of the house.

With each of them, I've noticed a few personality traits in common.

1. They're all incredibly confident. The 'American' women run the gamut from timid to cocky but the Russian women I've worked projects for are all confident, but not cocky. They know what they're talking about and they know they know and everyone else knows they know

2. They ask lots of questions. And never a stupid one. They are incisive and know when someone's lying to them or BSing them.

3. The combination of the above makes them all incredibly hot

4. If you do them right, they'll go to bat for you. They don't care for the politics of it. They're the kind of business partner you want in your corner. 3 of them I'm tight with because I did good on their projects. They've helped me out a lot. One I accidentally fvcked over and I haven't been allowed to work a project in her business unit since.

[Danno 1,228]

regarding the topic ...

1) you will find happiness

2) you will discover h3ll

either way the risk is no different than marrying a local girl

actually better than marrying a local girl - don't have to go spend most holiday events with her family

And with Russians you are often subjected to that lousy pop music they love over there.

(#1 reason I don't have the Russian Channel)

[Tahoma 2,298]

Funny, I got the impression the Original Poster is a little "indecisive".

If true, thats a big turn-off for those Russian gals.

Hi Danno...

If you feel that InnocentBystander is indecisive, maybe you could help him with a bit of a confidence boost. It appears that your better half is Russian...so you might be able to provide some insight.

Did you find your sweetie on a singles sight? If so, how was your experience on that site? What should he watch out for? That kind of thing. I'll bet that you have something to add to the conversation.

[Danno 1,228]

Funny, I got the impression the Original Poster is a little "indecisive".

If true, thats a big turn-off for those Russian gals.

hmmm i thought this was the big turn off for them:

What an empty wallet?

I doubt it....."No one" likes it when the party is over.

[jeffscharpf 0]

Hello all. I didn't really know where to post this question, but this forum seems very friendly and insightful. My question is to those men (or women) from the USA who have married a foreign bride. FWIW, I do not assume there are more or less risks involved in marrying a foreigner than there is in marrying an American. I'm a little naive on the subject and I'd like to learn more.

I read divorce rates for K1 and K3 visa marriages are roughly 20%, which is great compared to the 50+% rates for American marriages. Do the rates vary much based on region? For instance, is the divorce rate higher for those marriages where the bride comes from Southeast Asia or the Caribbean, than say a bride from Russia or Norway? I have met some very sweet foreign girls, but I will be honest... my American buddies always tell me to watch out. They say they only want a visa.

I am not the sort of person who discriminates. I don't assume somebody from another nation has lesser values than I do, just because I am from the USA. To that extent, I will confess that I believe most normal men and women want something tangible in a partner. Whether it be money, security, love, his/her smile, his/her sense of humor. I think this is somewhat true at least.

There was this one cute Russian girl working at the beach and she called me after I gave her my number. She had to return home after the summer, but she was very sweet. All my friends told me she's Russian and that automatically means she loves you first and foremost because you can give her a green card and a better standard of living. Truth be told, I can't blame Russian girls if that is true. I mean, who wouldn't want a better standard of living? I think that's normal.

Perhaps some of you can shed more light on this subject. I ask this question, because it's a little scary nowadays to marry an American girl. The odds are against you. The statistics reveal over half the marriages end within a few years. So, by marrying an American girl, chances are I will be divorced and have to give up half of what I earned during that time we were married (regardless of whether she helped contribute to that). Even couples that have the best of intentions going in often end up in divorce. It's a little crazy if you ask me. So, I'm interested in the possibility of finding a girl in Russia or maybe some other country. Why is there such a stigma and no such stigma for American-American marriages?

You really need to find out who you are and what you want. Everything comes with a risk.

So what if you marry and divorce? So what if she comes and gets a green card and things don't work out? Who cares? Would it be the end of the world if she stayed here and moved on with her life? She is the one taking a risk, because if things don't work out after two years, she may be the one with a problem. She has to change her life.

After a divorce from someone that I thought I would be with forever, I had to take a look inside of myself. People change. That was many years ago. Personally I would never go back to an American woman now. Sorry but it's a different world for me.

I'm with a woman that I met online (believe me neither of us had any intentions or motives and I wasn't looking for a "foreign girl"). She is from Romania, and we've been together now for almost nine years. Her son came with her and I adore him (he's now 10). It just gets better and better. I'm more in love with her today than I ever was with my first wife, who I was with for 10 years and thought at the time was the one and only (don't we all? )..

When I first started the K1 process most of my friends thought I was crazy, same as you. But my logic was, well, ok let's say she's ONLY marrying me to get her green card.. she comes, we marry, she eventually gets her card, she divorces me.. so during that time, sex is great, I'm having fun, what do I lose? She left her country!!

If we don't get along, and we're both miserable, then we SHOULD divorce, and heck, she SHOULD have every opportunity to stay in this country if she wants to.

She risked many things to come here. what if I'm a psycho?? think of how scary that is for someone to come here not knowing. so... that's the way I looked at it. If it would not have worked out I would have said well hopefully this person can find what she needs here.

For some reason she stays with me ...she hates the winters in Wisconsin, she doesn't agree with our policies.. .. she's no fool. We fight about politics all the time. But she has found peace with me and I with her. Tough to explain that but we can read each others minds. This is really what love is to me.

I will say that she is much different than any American woman I've known. She's not traditional, or weak.. She doesn't believe in most of our psychology, in many of our methods. She is extremely intelligent. Very resourceful. Being under communism, she has been a "bad" girl.. almost being arrested for speaking out at times. In my opinion, had she been older at the time of the Romanian revolution (she was 12), she would have been one of the marchers (although she's opposed to guns and violence so it's hard to explain my rifle in my closet lol)...

Most importantly, she has opened my mind. We Americans are pretty close minded, face it. We really think the world is ours and this is the place to be. I could go on forever..

Sorry for the long response. If you have something for this woman, I say go for it. Life is short.

Jeff

[Empress of Groovy 373]

I seem to remember someone's caveat a while back regarding a gal's possession of a coarse voice and lack of giggling ability. Adam's apple could be relevant.

Again, please don't overlook the importance of a well-kept hairstyle.

[NickD 203]

Plenty of successful couples meet online. I doubt very many successful couples meet at "pick up" bars. At any rate, I'm not suggesting that all women who are trying to meet Americans are frauds. Not at all. But I think it's reasonable to say that there is a higher fraud % among that group, simply because "people trying to get to America" is a higher risk group for fraud than "people in general." For any given desirable thing, you'll have people who try to get it honestly, and you'll also have people who will try to get it any way they can. US citizenship is no exception.

Seems like the USCIS is also interested in fraud and especially for the USC trying to get a foreigner here with some rather severe penalties. Then there is the I-864 where you are literally signing your life away.

Certainly enough mail order bride sites on the web, and for just about any country, also good places to stay far away from.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

For me, I found paradise when I found the Philippines.

Woman are in shape and have nice figures, they are very easy on the eyes, and they are regarded as some of the most beautiful women in the world.

They tend to be very caring, and put family high on their value scale. They carry themelves like a woman should in public, they are not loud and they have a high regard for how they carry themselve in the public eye.

Did you rip that straight off one of the foreign bride sites?

One reason is Divorce doesn't exist in PI, so the woman are not raised in a society like the USA where they can take a man to the cleaners in divorce just because they have a child.

I have heard American woman say many times "I will divorce you and take everything you own",. I have never heard an American man ever say that to his spouse.

Divorce is not permitted in the PI because over 90 percent of the country is Catholic, unless a couple gets a marriage certificate in the court (civil marriage). Their only option is an annulment, which is lengthy and expensive. There is a high rate of children born out of wedlock and unfortunately for the mothers, it is difficult to require the man to pay child support.

As for divorce in the U.S. - perhaps you're just bitter from your own divorce because many states like California, are community property states, which means if you divorce your spouse, she gets 50 percent of everything and as far as the children, the amount of child support is determined by the court using a formula. If you wanted to get married again in the U.S. and didn't want to face those numbers, you should have made a prenuptial agreement, but even with one, you cannot remove your financial obligations towards your children, should you end up divorcing.

Good luck with your marriage to a Filipina, but if you really believe they are demure, obedient, faithful and keep a nice figure, you've bought into the biggest sale pitch by these foreign bride sites. There have been many guys like you here on VJ, who later are shocked to find that the Filipinas they had purchased are defective.

Edited December 27, 2008 by Mister Fancypants

[one...two...tree 2,762]

It's this kind of ####### that perpetuates the stereotypes that get echoed here...(read highlighted part below)

WHO ELSE WANTS TO FIND HAPPINESS WITH THE FILIPINA OF THEIR DREAMS?

At last! Everything you need to know

to meet the Filipina of your Dreams!

There is a Filipina Beauty waiting for YOU...

There Are Tens Of Thousands Of Men Just Like You Looking

For Love, Companionship, Romance And A New Life

With The Woman Of Their Dreams.

From Perry Gamsby August 2005

Dear Friend,

Don’t you deserve another chance at happiness too?

If you are looking for that special girl to spend the rest of your life with then Filipina 101 is the best resource you are going to find with everything you need to know to find the Filipina of your dreams. I tell you how I found my Filipina Dream girl.

My name is Perry Gamsby and I have found that special Filipina Dream girl to share my life with. I met her in 2001 and we were married in 2002. After we got married I went back home. Just long enough to sell the house and all the accumulated junk, then fly back to the Philippines and start a new life. I was previously married to a Western girl who couldn't stay the distance and wanted the fast money! She ran off with a richer man than I was, or probably ever will be. Monetarily anyway. Right now, I consider myself the richest man alive.

Filipina 101 examines the major questions and doubts most of us have

when we embark on an international search for a soulmate.

If you have tried dating local women then you know how dismal the singles scene at home can be. Being rejected by women that make you feel like a second class citizen just for asking for a dance! Being treated like Sh*t. and when you do find a woman… too many of them come with their own emotional baggage from previous relationships that will poison any chance you might have for a new chance at life. At home the odds are stacked against the average guy - with Filipinas things are the opposite. At the very least most of them have never been married before so you aren't falling for someone else's ex-wife!

Filipinas are not the docile and submissive women so often depicted in the stereotypical "Mail Order Bride" misconception that is as insulting to you as it is to her. However, they are looking for a man who acts like a man and treats them like a lady. This “old fashioned” approach to roles in relationships is built on mutual respect. Many men prefer this more traditional relationship to the so called egalitarian model demanded by more “liberated” western women.

Filipinas are more tolerant and even blind when it comes to a man being older, overweight and less than perfect. They look beyond that but they demand more in leadership from their man as the head of the family.

For those of you who have been through the trauma of divorce and suffered at the hands of our family courts, relax! Yes there are scammers out there. This book will help you detect them and avoid them, at the very least minimize the damage they may cause you. Remember, the vast majority of Filipinas are genuine, loving and marry FOR LIFE!

Filipinas are more traditional than many western women when it comes to marriage. They are marrying for life as divorce does not exist in the Philippines except as the long and expensive process known as annulment. Fil-Am marriages, or Fil-Foreigner, have a much higher success rate than many other combinations.

There is someone for everyone in this world and in the Philippines, there may just be more than one beautiful, loving loyal and devoted Filipina waiting to meet you! Increase your chances of winning the Filipina of your dreams, knowledge truly is Power!

You have seen the couples walking by and wondered how

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Imagine how good it will be to have someone waiting for you when you arrive home after work. Someone who greets you at the door with a warm smile and has lovingly prepared the evening meal. Your home is clean and tidy and there is nothing more for you to do than relax and enjoy the evening together.

Does this sound like something out of a 1950’s TV show? This is the everyday experience of thousands of men happily married to Filipina’s.

[NickD 203]

If you wanted to get married again in the U.S. and didn't want to face those numbers, you should have made a prenuptial agreement

Not in WI, courts do not recognize a prenuptial agreement. Ha, feel if reading all the divorce laws of your state is a requirement for getting a marriage license, nobody would bet married. But WI covered that too, is a couple is living in the same household together, unmarried, they are considered married by common law.

Also as a guy, watch out where you stick that thing, if gets a girl pregnant and over 18 will be liable for child support until that kid reaches 18, if under 18, your parents will be responsible for child support payments, until he reaches 18 years of age. Can marry and have a kid, wife can divorce and keep that kid where the guy has 60% of his wages taken away for child support and alimony, happened to a close friend of mine, not enough money left over for him to do anything, including getting remarried. Can only hope his ex gets remarried to avoid alimony, but will be stuck with child support until that kid hits 18. His wife has no intention of getting remarried, has it too good.

[HighwayStar 0]

One of the things I'm most grateful for to my husband is that he NEVER once compared me to American women, or said that I was better because I am not American - and believe me, he lived through ten years of hell with a woman he met (as many do) when in college, his same age, and all that.

Now, I am a bit of a different case than the 'girls' who seem to be discussed here. I am 48 (almost nine years older than my husband), from Italy (which is a Western country, with a divorce rate that is steadily increasing), and financially self-sufficient. In order to move here I left more than just family and friends - I left my home and a steady job (which I hated), and am very happy about it. I am also financially better off than my husband, and own the condo where we live.

This is just to prove that not all 'foreign girls' are the same.. I may be an exception, but I am quite sure I am not the only foreign woman for whom love was far more important than material things.