What do I do now

[faryan 4]

Chelle,

I might be completely out of order here but didn't you post somewhere recently that he's done this before and you went after him to England? My apologies if I mixed you with somebody else but if I haven't don't you think there's something not quite right here?!

As previous posters said, moving countries and in most cases continents, is not easy. He needs to want to be with you despite all the problems and difficulties along the way. But does he? He seems to me like someone who gives in and gives up all too easily. I know you are hurt and that you love him but in the long run, do you really want to be with someone who'll run every time there is a bump on the road? I am not saying that he doesn't love you, what I'm questioning is if he loves you enough! As much as you deserve?! And you do deserve better. Will you be picking up the peaces once a year or more often? What will happen when (if) you get married and start the AOS process? He might not be able to run all the way back to England but remember misery loves company. Do you really want to go down that road?

You said you are nothing without him. PLEASE don't do that to yourself. You might not feel complete without him but YOU, as an individual, as a human, is worthy and valued. In you own right, you are a special person and if he cannot see that then he is not for you.

I really am sorry that you are going though all this. I hope things work for the best and you manage to figure out what is best for YOU. Be strong and be positive.

Wishing you all the best.

T.

Chelle, maybe he's stressed out, maybe he'll come around, but whatever it is, love yourself first and foremost.

[*julez* 124]

Keith has just broken up with me, he cant take the let downs and the being apart anymore. He said goodbye , what do i do now? We are weeks from the interview but have no cosponsor and I didnt make enough to do it so I need to know what I have to do now. I am broken , I am lost and I am all alone. This hurts so bad and I cant take the pain. He is my life and without him I am nothing.

He can't take the letdowns???? What letdowns for him? He's the one who has let you down once before, and now again!

He can't take being apart anymore???? You just left him after putting your US life on hold for 6 months! Being in an international relationship means that there will be time apart. For you two, you haven't had to spend much time apart AND you ARE in the home stretch now!

I'm sorry, but Keith sounds very selfish and very immature. If I were you, I'd cut off all communication with him and see what happens. If it's meant to be, he'll come begging for you to take him back. If not, you are truly better off not having someone who can't be strong when the going gets tough.

You've been in a bad marriage before, and I'm sure you don't want to go down that road again. Be strong for yourself Chelle. You DO deserve better than this.

I wish you peace and strength to get through this diffiuclt time.

Edited December 19, 2008 by *julez*

[Zee Bee 61]

Keith has just broken up with me, he cant take the let downs and the being apart anymore. He said goodbye , what do i do now? We are weeks from the interview but have no cosponsor and I didnt make enough to do it so I need to know what I have to do now. I am broken , I am lost and I am all alone. This hurts so bad and I cant take the pain. He is my life and without him I am nothing.

I am sorry he is doing this to you

I don't know much about your story but you talk about letdowns and being apart. Here is what I see from your timeline:

You have both spent months together either here or in the UK

Your NOA2 came fairly quickly with no RFE

Your case is now at the embassy

I understand that separation is painful, whether you get to see each other frequently or not, we all feel that. Let me just say that the 2 of you have been very fortunate to spend as much time together as you have, not a lot of people get to do that.

I think he needs to put his situation in perspective. If I were you, I would send him links, or cut and paste some of the heart wrenching stories of those who:

- only get to visit each other once during the whole process

- have to wait upwards of 6 months for an NOA2

- have to wait 4 months for an interview at the consulate

- have to go through AP before getting the visa

Those are real letdowns.

Then maybe he will see all this in a different light and step up to help you figure this out.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

[Twisted K 2]

Keith has just broken up with me, he cant take the let downs and the being apart anymore. He said goodbye , what do i do now? We are weeks from the interview but have no cosponsor and I didnt make enough to do it so I need to know what I have to do now. I am broken , I am lost and I am all alone. This hurts so bad and I cant take the pain. He is my life and without him I am nothing.

I am sorry he is doing this to you

I don't know much about your story but you talk about letdowns and being apart. Here is what I see from your timeline:

You have both spent months together either here or in the UK

Your NOA2 came fairly quickly with no RFE

Your case is now at the embassy

I understand that separation is painful, whether you get to see each other frequently or not, we all feel that. Let me just say that the 2 of you have been very fortunate to spend as much time together as you have, not a lot of people get to do that.

I think he needs to put his situation in perspective. If I were you, I would send him links, or cut and paste some of the heart wrenching stories of those who:

- only get to visit each other once during the whole process

- have to wait upwards of 6 months for an NOA2

- have to wait 4 months for an interview at the consulate

- have to go through AP before getting the visa

Those are real letdowns.

Then maybe he will see all this in a different light and step up to help you figure this out.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Please take care of yourself, Chelle. There is some excellent advice in this thread. AP really does suck, and only prolongs the process, trust me. But love will find a way.

Edited December 19, 2008 by kaushalia

[Sinergy 3]

Keith has just broken up with me, he cant take the let downs and the being apart anymore. He said goodbye , what do i do now? We are weeks from the interview but have no cosponsor and I didnt make enough to do it so I need to know what I have to do now. I am broken , I am lost and I am all alone. This hurts so bad and I cant take the pain. He is my life and without him I am nothing.

He can't take the letdowns???? What letdowns for him? He's the one who has let you down once before, and now again!

He can't take being apart anymore???? You just left him after putting your US life on hold for 6 months! Being in an international relationship means that there will be time apart. For you two, you haven't had to spend much time apart AND you ARE in the home stretch now!

I'm sorry, but Keith sounds very selfish and very immature. If I were you, I'd cut off all communication with him and see what happens. If it's meant to be, he'll come begging for you to take him back. If not, you are truly better off not having someone who can't be strong when the going gets tough.

You've been in a bad marriage before, and I'm sure you don't want to go down that road again. Be strong for yourself Chelle. You DO deserve better than this.

I wish you peace and strength to get through this diffiuclt time.

very well said

[Gemmie 142]

Sorry if this upsets you Chelle, but I think Keith is being incredibly selfish and perhaps it's time for you to question the validity of his commitment to you.

I do remember how he left you without warning and flew back to England, and I also remember how after 6 months together in person, you were still saying "I'm not sure if he'll go through with this, I'll have to hope." If he was that committed to the relationship and the idea of marriage, you would KNOW where you two stand, and you would know that he was going to do this for the both of you. As soon as you mentioned the anxiety you felt about whether he'll go through with it, the alarm bell was still there.

I hope you work everything out but also consider what is best for you.

[maggieNomar 0]

thankyou for all your advice and nice words. No I didnt know that it is valid for 4 months. I have emailed him and told him this and told him to take the time he needs to get his head in order. I pray he comes around

Chelle

Can you talk him into going to the interview anyways, in case he changes his mind? The visa is good for 6 months (to enter the usa). Maybe actually getting the visa will bring him to his senses. We all know how stressful it can be. I kinda agree with what another poster said about an SO wanting to move heaven and earth to be together. But I also understand how the stress can twist the mind. Good luck in getting things straightend out.