Restored!

[bhajishah 4]

Good you both are taking equal adult responsibility, and a litt GOD does not hurt at all. Now you have to leave the bad things in past. Can both of you do that. If not youwill go on another ride..thats hard oneveryone.

[zqt3344 21]

:rofl: You got me there! Merry Christmas to all jailed out of status wives this year and peace and love to all with Santa bringing you many gifts in your jail cell!

Do you think his wife is having a merry christmas? Do you think that she's in peace sitting and rotting in prison?????

As objectionable as anyone may find my comments, I suppose the venom comes as a direct result of my sympathy for this woman.

Although it is locked, you can still read the original thread. I encourage you all to do so. If you have empathy and support for this man, then we are seeing very different things!!

[nycgirl 13]

When do the witty responses begin?? I'm waaaaaaaaaaaaiting.

Couple questions: You filed initial papers for your wife (fiance visa) after knowing her for 3 weeks, correct?? Looking back, do you think that was wise?

When you "worked out all your problems" during the prison visit, did you happen to bring up the fact that she called you a "slave driver" to her sister? Is that resolved?

How do you plan to pay the attorney?

No, I knew her much longer than three weeks. Not sure where you're getting that from.

Yeap, resolved all of our major issues. She told me she just said a lot of things in anger. Something we both had been guilty of.

Well, I was going to ask you to pay for her attorney, but decided to start selling everything in our home on eBay, etc, instead, and try to come up with the monies with what we have first. The attorney gave me payment arrangements as well.

With regards to money.........Sure, have HER contact me. I would be happy to help her.

Your original post states that the FIRST TIME you met, you spent three weeks and a half together, and then you flew home and filed her paperwork right away. I'm not talking about Internet contact. That doesn't count. If it did, you and I would practically be engaged by now!!!!!

And you are very witty indeed!!!!

[nycgirl 13]

Time goes on, and I’ve written her poems, and even a song. She would sing to me from time to time as well, and wrote me some poems too. Our relationship built up very intensely and things begin heating up, so I decided I couldn’t wait any longer—I made a trip to the Philippines to meet this amazing woman for the first time.

The night I arrived, we flew into each other’s arms with a kiss, right in the middle of the road at the airport. We spent the most amazing 3.5 weeks together after that, and then suffered the incredible torture of me returning home to the States. Once I arrived, I went to work rapidly on her K1-Fiancée Visa petition, and did a ton of work putting it together myself (I got a compliment on the quality of it and the concise organization at the interview ïŠ ). We got no RFE’s, thank God, and I flew back to the Philippines again to be with her during the interview. We spent another 3.5 amazing weeks together after the successful interview, and then we flew back to the States together side by side. We were so excited during the whole interview process, and very confident as well since we went into it together.

mmmmmmmm.......okay, mr. witty???????

Edited December 17, 2008 by nycgirl

[himher 634]

(wants to help and bids 4 cents for the marriage counseling CD's)

When do the witty responses begin?? I'm waaaaaaaaaaaaiting.

Couple questions: You filed initial papers for your wife (fiance visa) after knowing her for 3 weeks, correct?? Looking back, do you think that was wise?

When you "worked out all your problems" during the prison visit, did you happen to bring up the fact that she called you a "slave driver" to her sister? Is that resolved?

How do you plan to pay the attorney?

No, I knew her much longer than three weeks. Not sure where you're getting that from.

Yeap, resolved all of our major issues. She told me she just said a lot of things in anger. Something we both had been guilty of.

Well, I was going to ask you to pay for her attorney, but decided to start selling everything in our home on eBay, etc, instead, and try to come up with the monies with what we have first. The attorney gave me payment arrangements as well.

[chavelle 6]

:rofl: You got me there! Merry Christmas to all jailed out of status wives this year and peace and love to all with Santa bringing you many gifts in your jail cell!

Do you think his wife is having a merry christmas? Do you think that she's in peace sitting and rotting in prison?????

As objectionable as anyone may find my comments, I suppose the venom comes as a direct result of my sympathy for this woman.

Although it is locked, you can still read the original thread. I encourage you all to do so. If you have empathy and support for this man, then we are seeing very different things!!

:rofl: You got me there! Merry Christmas to all jailed out of status wives this year and peace and love to all with Santa bringing you many gifts in your jail cell!

Not funny at all.

[himher 634]

hey,hey,hey - watch those first time remarks! The first time my wife and I met in person it was to get married. We're doing good though

Time goes on, and I’ve written her poems, and even a song. She would sing to me from time to time as well, and wrote me some poems too. Our relationship built up very intensely and things begin heating up, so I decided I couldn’t wait any longer—I made a trip to the Philippines to meet this amazing woman for the first time.

The night I arrived, we flew into each other’s arms with a kiss, right in the middle of the road at the airport. We spent the most amazing 3.5 weeks together after that, and then suffered the incredible torture of me returning home to the States. Once I arrived, I went to work rapidly on her K1-Fiancée Visa petition, and did a ton of work putting it together myself (I got a compliment on the quality of it and the concise organization at the interview ïŠ ). We got no RFE’s, thank God, and I flew back to the Philippines again to be with her during the interview. We spent another 3.5 amazing weeks together after the successful interview, and then we flew back to the States together side by side. We were so excited during the whole interview process, and very confident as well since we went into it together.

mmmmmmmm.......okay, mr. witty???????

[nycgirl 13]

I'm sure he'd give them to you. He doesn't need them anymore!!!!

(wants to help and bids 4 cents for the marriage counseling CD's)

When do the witty responses begin?? I'm waaaaaaaaaaaaiting.

Couple questions: You filed initial papers for your wife (fiance visa) after knowing her for 3 weeks, correct?? Looking back, do you think that was wise?

When you "worked out all your problems" during the prison visit, did you happen to bring up the fact that she called you a "slave driver" to her sister? Is that resolved?

How do you plan to pay the attorney?

No, I knew her much longer than three weeks. Not sure where you're getting that from.

Yeap, resolved all of our major issues. She told me she just said a lot of things in anger. Something we both had been guilty of.

Well, I was going to ask you to pay for her attorney, but decided to start selling everything in our home on eBay, etc, instead, and try to come up with the monies with what we have first. The attorney gave me payment arrangements as well.

[nycgirl 13]

hey,hey,hey - watch those first time remarks! The first time my wife and I met in person it was to get married. We're doing good though

Sorry!!! At first I thought I read "in prison" and then I realize you said in person!!

[Valsu 1]

Do you think his wife is having a merry christmas? Do you think that she's in peace sitting and rotting in prison?????

As objectionable as anyone may find my comments, I suppose the venom comes as a direct result of my sympathy for this woman.

Although it is locked, you can still read the original thread. I encourage you all to do so. If you have empathy and support for this man, then we are seeing very different things!!

Of course she's not! Do you not think that my wife, children and I aren't all devastated right now over this, and the possibilities of not getting to spend Christmas together? We want to be together as quickly as possible, and the reality right now is we can't--except on weekends. Does it make you feel better to continuously bring that up and throw it in my face?

If I wasn't concerned about her, then I wouldn't have done everything I could to get her out of the mess she got herself in to after she left.

It would have been easy to just walk away from the whole situation after she abandoned us. Most people kept suggesting it, as is the nature of mankind.

I believe in the sanctity of marriage, however, and I will do everything I can to right any wrongs in my life, and work toward the restoration of our relationship for as long as she's willing to do so as well. There are many couples who do not care enough about their marriages to admit when they're wrong, however, and they just give up and divorce--especially if one of the two leaves the home.

Don't compare us to the quitters out there. We're actually trying to fix our marriage in spite of the problems we've faced in the past. That's what this thread is about altogether.

If you do not like the fact that we're repairing our love, then keep it to yourself. We've both suffered a great deal of stress and hardship, and rather than advise or encourage us, you just continuously provoke and twist my words. Which is borderline when it comes to VJ's ToS.

• Defame, abuse, harass, stalk, threaten or otherwise violate the legal rights (such as rights of privacy and publicity) of others.

• Make comments in a Post either direct or implied toward another member that are purposely designed to upset, antagonize, make fun of, belittle, or otherwise instigate an argument that takes away from the personal enjoyment of the Service by other users.

My wife is savy to the threads here, and she'll be reading them once she's out. She is wanting to work out our relationship just as much as I am. Yes, she may be in prison right now, but she's encouraged by the fact that her husband has made changes for her to ensure a positive reunion and accomodation toward a restored marriage.

I've righted most of the wrongs I had in my personal life and personality. Can you say the same for yourself, or are you so far above anyone else, you have no room left for improvement?

<shakes head>

[maliciant 7]

No, I knew her much longer than three weeks. Not sure where you're getting that from.

Yeap, resolved all of our major issues. She told me she just said a lot of things in anger. Something we both had been guilty of.

I think it's because you said you went to the philippines once for a three week visit before filing, three weeks of actual person to person contact may not be the best thing, but it's far from only knowing someone three weeks. I kind of figure a LOT of threads are heavily misunderstood in these forums as a result of so many people not being native english speakers, even on a typical message board where everyone is a native speaker miss-communication is frequent, text lacks most of the emotion and cues that body langauge conveys, it's just that much harder when you throw in the langauge barriers. Considering the nature of this particular forum attacking someone's english skills is pretty much pointless, unless that person has been going around correcting people... turn about is fair play, but english nazi's on a forum where probably less than half the participants speak english natively... is silly.

I have to agree with others, your problems are far from over, and while your wife may have contacted you before being jailed and things were looking up, the fact she is currently in jail and very much between a rock and a hard place means that everything she does and says at this point is going to be her best effort to please you, you are her only life line, there is a great deal of incentive to keep you happy for the sake of her own survival, powerful motivation, right now she really has no choice, yes this is your opportunity to improve things but the position she is in really limits her to having to agree with you, anything you work out now while she is literally a prisoner (unlike originally where she was a virtual prisoner due to the lack of AOS filing) very likely is just a matter of her not having the independence to be able to disagree.

Whether it's clear or not from my posts, none of them are intended as attacks on valsu, even though much of what I have to say may be harsh, it's simply a result of how strongly I disagree with some of what he has done or said, in the end I try to at least explain my reasoning (in my own view that kind of makes it constructive criticism... sorta... maybe... or at least a fair debate).

[himher 634]

That's what I meant, in prison. What did I say?

hey,hey,hey - watch those first time remarks! The first time my wife and I met in person it was to get married. We're doing good though

Sorry!!! At first I thought I read "in prison" and then I realize you said in person!!

[pcana 0]

Do you think his wife is having a merry christmas? Do you think that she's in peace sitting and rotting in prison?????

As objectionable as anyone may find my comments, I suppose the venom comes as a direct result of my sympathy for this woman.

Although it is locked, you can still read the original thread. I encourage you all to do so. If you have empathy and support for this man, then we are seeing very different things!!

Of course she's not! Do you not think that my wife, children and I aren't all devastated right now over this, and the possibilities of not getting to spend Christmas together? We want to be together as quickly as possible, and the reality right now is we can't--except on weekends. Does it make you feel better to continuously bring that up and throw it in my face?

If I wasn't concerned about her, then I wouldn't have done everything I could to get her out of the mess she got herself in to after she left.

It would have been easy to just walk away from the whole situation after she abandoned us. Most people kept suggesting it, as is the nature of mankind.

I believe in the sanctity of marriage, however, and I will do everything I can to right any wrongs in my life, and work toward the restoration of our relationship for as long as she's willing to do so as well. There are many couples who do not care enough about their marriages to admit when they're wrong, however, and they just give up and divorce--especially if one of the two leaves the home.

Don't compare us to the quitters out there. We're actually trying to fix our marriage in spite of the problems we've faced in the past. That's what this thread is about altogether.

If you do not like the fact that we're repairing our love, then keep it to yourself. We've both suffered a great deal of stress and hardship, and rather than advise or encourage us, you just continuously provoke and twist my words. Which is borderline when it comes to VJ's ToS.

• Defame, abuse, harass, stalk, threaten or otherwise violate the legal rights (such as rights of privacy and publicity) of others.

• Make comments in a Post either direct or implied toward another member that are purposely designed to upset, antagonize, make fun of, belittle, or otherwise instigate an argument that takes away from the personal enjoyment of the Service by other users.

My wife is savy to the threads here, and she'll be reading them once she's out. She is wanting to work out our relationship just as much as I am. Yes, she may be in prison right now, but she's encouraged by the fact that her husband has made changes for her to ensure a positive reunion and accomodation toward a restored marriage.

I've righted most of the wrongs I had in my personal life and personality. Can you say the same for yourself, or are you so far above anyone else, you have no room left for improvement?

<shakes head>

Why do you feel the need to keep on responding to the haters? I'm glad you came to terms with the fact that you made mistakes as well as her and you're now trying to do the best to make your marriage work.. that's all it matter, stop responding to people who can only see through their eyes, people who are quick judging others and making assumptions about others people's lives.

I'm not taking sides here, just trying to be rational, I just don't see the need to get angry or making judgements against the OP or any body else.

Chill out..

Peace

[chavelle 6]

No, I knew her much longer than three weeks. Not sure where you're getting that from.

Yeap, resolved all of our major issues. She told me she just said a lot of things in anger. Something we both had been guilty of.

I think it's because you said you went to the philippines once for a three week visit before filing, three weeks of actual person to person contact may not be the best thing, but it's far from only knowing someone three weeks. I kind of figure a LOT of threads are heavily misunderstood in these forums as a result of so many people not being native english speakers, even on a typical message board where everyone is a native speaker miss-communication is frequent, text lacks most of the emotion and cues that body langauge conveys, it's just that much harder when you throw in the langauge barriers. Considering the nature of this particular forum attacking someone's english skills is pretty much pointless, unless that person has been going around correcting people... turn about is fair play, but english nazi's on a forum where probably less than half the participants speak english natively... is silly.

I have to agree with others, your problems are far from over, and while your wife may have contacted you before being jailed and things were looking up, the fact she is currently in jail and very much between a rock and a hard place means that everything she does and says at this point is going to be her best effort to please you, you are her only life line, there is a great deal of incentive to keep you happy for the sake of her own survival, powerful motivation, right now she really has no choice, yes this is your opportunity to improve things but the position she is in really limits her to having to agree with you, anything you work out now while she is literally a prisoner (unlike originally where she was a virtual prisoner due to the lack of AOS filing) very likely is just a matter of her not having the independence to be able to disagree.

Whether it's clear or not from my posts, none of them are intended as attacks on valsu, even though much of what I have to say may be harsh, it's simply a result of how strongly I disagree with some of what he has done or said, in the end I try to at least explain my reasoning (in my own view that kind of makes it constructive criticism... sorta... maybe... or at least a fair debate).

Veryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy well said!!!

[Valsu 1]

Your original post states that the FIRST TIME you met, you spent three weeks and a half together, and then you flew home and filed her paperwork right away. I'm not talking about Internet contact. That doesn't count. If it did, you and I would practically be engaged by now!!!!!

And you are very witty indeed!!!!

We spent a total time of 7 weeks together in person in the Philippines before I brought her to the US--with almsot 2 years of internet relations prior and inbetween--and we married.

Also, you cannot downplay internet communications--especially when 90% of everyone here met online.

We spoke on the phone everyday, and made use of yahoo chat with webcam/voice. A lot can be accomplished online and over the phone, and you should know that. The difference is there is obviously no physical contact/upfront body language, and extended time together. A relationship, however, cannot be based on physical contact alone as the acquaintance stage. There are many relationships that have ignited from physical activity, and then went downhill because of lack of many other things.

The statement you made about talking online would make for engagement, using that logic, makes absolutely no sense at all. Big difference between talking online, and building a relationship with someone online.