Out of Status and wants to return to Home Country

[Cry_Tuff 0]

Hello everyone. Unfortunately, we have not completed the AOS as yet. We were married Feb. 16, 2008. Due to one unforeseen event after another, we have had to put it off. Now my husband is out of status (he is from the U.K.-British). However, he now wants to go back home. We live in Ohio, and it's no big mystery that Ohio's economy and job market sucks at the moment. He is wanting to go back there so he can work. Now, he also can't stand it here. I have two children, from a previous marriage (one who is special needs)...am in college, and working full time....so it's not as if I can just uproot and leave. He's not happy here overall, I also am mature enough to realize it takes two to make a relationship work.

So...my question is...if he wanted to leave to go back...and we have not applied for the Green Card, Work Authorization, or Advance Parole...how hard would it be for him to return to the UK?

Also, should it come down to him wanting to come back (I'm aware we would have to probably start all over with paperwork)...but what type of process would we be looking at then as well?

Thanks in advance to anyone who may reply.

[keweul 1]

I'm not sure if he'd be facing any penalties for overstaying but I do know it won't be a problem for him to leave, the problem arises when/if he plans on coming back...will you be going with him? I've learned that USCIS has every piece of paper we ever filed and ever single entry into the USA they know about...so they'll have record of his last entry that he overstayed on and it might be brought up if/when you have to reapply in the future...the process wouldn't change much, should be the same as this time around...(Pleaase if anyone has any SOLID advice please comment)...

If you don't mind me asking, is he happy with the marriage? is it just not being able to work that's bothering him (if it is maybe he can't just apply for EAD then do AAOS later...which will cost more than if you just file AOS now along with EAD) but at least he'll be able to work....

Good Luck to you both

[chrismatt84 0]

Hey I am sorry about your dilemma and it seems that it is really unfair that he is quitting without seeing what ure going through. What a jerk ? Anyways, he can allways go back to his own home country, since I assume he is a citizen of UK. But, yes like you said, for him to combe back here will be a whole different story and you might want to start the process all over again. I am not sure how thats gonna work out. I mean if you had filed for Advance parole and had gotten the actual AP document, he can go and keep coming back as to whenever he chooses until the expiry date on the document. Anyways he should see that you'r in college and your also supporting your kids and he should just hang in there, even if the economy is bad. Tell him to take whatever he gets and help you out, and don't look at the job and how bad it is. Its true it takes two to make a relationship work and he is not helping in any way, and it looks like he is only thinking of himself. But anyways, if he wants to go back home and he doesn't mind leaving you, then I feel that maybe there is no love.....?

Edited December 6, 2008 by chrismatt84

[keweul 1]

...

Edited December 6, 2008 by keweul

[Otto 83]

So...my question is...if he wanted to leave to go back...and we have not applied for the Green Card, Work Authorization, or Advance Parole...how hard would it be for him to return to the UK?

Also, should it come down to him wanting to come back (I'm aware we would have to probably start all over with paperwork)...but what type of process would we be looking at then as well?

Should he want to return (this time as spouse) you could choose either the K3 or CR-1 path. It would be no more difficult than if you had done it this way from the beginning. CR-1 path would be best in the long run - a bit cheaper and you would not be adjusting status (and waiting for EAD etc) upon entry to the US.

[TayRivers 4]

He can leave at any time and return to the UK. The problem he is going to have is his overstay, if it has been more than 180 days since his I-94 expired then he is facing a 3 year ban on re-entry to the USA, if he waits until it is 365 days or more then he is facing a 10 year ban.

If he then wanted to return to the US even as a visitor he is going to need a visa he will not be able to use the VWP if you both wanted him to return to live in the US he would need to get a CR1/IR1 or K3, because of any ban incurred he will also need to apply for a wavier or wait out the ban then apply to come back.

Is there no way you can file for his AOS and EAD so that he can at least find some work.

[Cry_Tuff 0]

To answer your questions: He says that my children would never make it in the UK. I for one know that, as children there are more advanced than American children. Not only that, but they leave school at the age of 16 and can choose to go to college or work from then on (although most nowadays are electing to become pregant or troublemakers. His son is 19..so there is a big difference between his age and the age of my children. My 8 year old son has epilepsy, ADHD, and is in special needs classes... so education and medical care is something I can not take lightly. My daughter is 11 years old and in the 5th grade here. It is doubtful that I would be moving over with him at this point in time, as my children would have to come first. ChrisMatt....I would have to say to your question...on his part..no..he feels love is just a word that is overused.There are so many things I could go into, but I won't as I feel it is private and I don't want to stir up even more problems, but no he isn't happy with the marriage....partly because he can't work...but then he goes on about not having any friends, no family here, is afraid to go anywhere (and we live in a decent neighborhood)..out of fear of getting lost..etc..etc.. He's upset that my family doesn't come around to check in on him. (when both of my parents work full time, my sister has 3 different jobs, etc). I know I married him because I loved him....and wouldn't have gone through this process if it wasn't for love. (even if he's never worn his wedding ring except for the day of the wedding). There's more to it all, and it may be in the best interest of both of us to separate for a while...it's just hard when he says things like he doesn't think my kids love him...(when he's never told them he does...it has to come from the adult first)...it's like the old saying...If you love something let it go free. If it doesn't come back, you never had it. If it comes back, love it forever.

[keweul 1]

To answer your questions: He says that my children would never make it in the UK. I for one know that, as children there are more advanced than American children. Not only that, but they leave school at the age of 16 and can choose to go to college or work from then on (although most nowadays are electing to become pregant or troublemakers. His son is 19..so there is a big difference between his age and the age of my children. My 8 year old son has epilepsy, ADHD, and is in special needs classes... so education and medical care is something I can not take lightly. My daughter is 11 years old and in the 5th grade here. It is doubtful that I would be moving over with him at this point in time, as my children would have to come first. ChrisMatt....I would have to say to your question...on his part..no..he feels love is just a word that is overused.There are so many things I could go into, but I won't as I feel it is private and I don't want to stir up even more problems, but no he isn't happy with the marriage....partly because he can't work...but then he goes on about not having any friends, no family here, is afraid to go anywhere (and we live in a decent neighborhood)..out of fear of getting lost..etc..etc.. He's upset that my family doesn't come around to check in on him. (when both of my parents work full time, my sister has 3 different jobs, etc). I know I married him because I loved him....and wouldn't have gone through this process if it wasn't for love. (even if he's never worn his wedding ring except for the day of the wedding). There's more to it all, and it may be in the best interest of both of us to separate for a while...it's just hard when he says things like he doesn't think my kids love him...(when he's never told them he does...it has to come from the adult first)...it's like the old saying...If you love something let it go free. If it doesn't come back, you never had it. If it comes back, love it forever.

I'm sorry to hear that things aren't going well...But I know when things are meant to be it'll happen...So don't hold him back if he wants to leave but make sure you both understand and agree on what's happening with the marriage...No sense in keeping him in something/place where he's not happy...But I do pray things work out whatever you decide...

[Cry_Tuff 0]

He can leave at any time and return to the UK. The problem he is going to have is his overstay, if it has been more than 180 days since his I-94 expired then he is facing a 3 year ban on re-entry to the USA, if he waits until it is 365 days or more then he is facing a 10 year ban.

If he then wanted to return to the US even as a visitor he is going to need a visa he will not be able to use the VWP if you both wanted him to return to live in the US he would need to get a CR1/IR1 or K3, because of any ban incurred he will also need to apply for a wavier or wait out the ban then apply to come back.

Is there no way you can file for his AOS and EAD so that he can at least find some work.

I could file it that's the thing..but he's told me to save the money and not do it. He can't stand the country as it is...and I told him before he even came over here..make sure this is what you want. It will be a year towards the end of February of 2009 that his I-94 would have expired. He wants to return to the UK after the holidays.

[Reba 2]

Well, his behaviour says all sorts of things that are fairly good indication that he probably never had much intention of sticking it out to begin with IMO. But, I'm not there and its none of my, or anyone's business. But had you sent in the AOS applications after your wedding as you should have, he'd likely have a job by now and would be adjusting better than he is, rather than sittin' on his ####### complaining JMHO of course.

That said, some people just plain don't like it here in the US (myself included). If he wants to go back home and you and he feel that your children just wouldn't manage there for whatever reason, then let him go home. If he changes his mind again, then you start all over with the spouse visa for him. Or if you change your mind, he can sponsor you to move to the UK (a lot shorter on processing than the US is, thats for sure!)

[Brad and Vika 129]

That said, some people just plain don't like it here in the US (myself included).

Over the years I have heard the same from immigrants a fair amount. Some get past the change in scenery, others don't. It seems logical that Brits are close enough culturally speaking that they would have less difficulty adjusting, but that isn't always true. I have cousins in the UK who have been across the pond often, and they are very critical of some parts of American culture. Other europeans are more vocal - no place to walk, we don't socialize as much/normally, we don't eat right, etc.

Sorry for your troubles, and I sincerely hope this is no more than a "failure to adapt". And kudos to you for worrying about the kids comfort.

Edited December 7, 2008 by Brad and Vika

[GlobeHopperMama 95]

I'm sorry things are not going so great.

I would say he needs to think long and hard about the future. If he leaves right now, he will have big trouble if he EVER wants to return to the US, whether as a visitor or immigrant. The moment he leaves the US, he will incur the 3 or 10-year bar depending on how long he's been out of status, as Cry Tuff mentioned. To waive these bars, his options are limited. If he were seeking tourist entry, he'd need a d3 waiver, and if he were attempting to immigrate (K3 or IR1), he would need a spouse to file an I-601 waiver for him. Those waivers are NOT fun to work on, even with an attorney, and while London tends to approve most of the truly well-prepared I-601, the wait time adds an extra 6-10 months to the immigration process before he can enter the US. Also, the waiver alone costs $545.

So if he leaves, he needs to be sure he'd be willing to spend a LOT of time and money getting back to the US, and also face the possibility that waivers would fail and he'd be banned from the US for the duration of those 3 or 10 years.

Edited December 7, 2008 by guatetaliana

[mary'n'ev 0]

I'm also sorry things aren't going well. My wife and I have yet to plunge into the AOS process (we're still waiting for more paperwork to come in!). I've wondered what i'd do if and when my EAD comes in and there's no work... it's a scary thought. Can you apply for your AOS, and wait for your Adavanced Parole to come back? Statistically, it's a 3 month wait and his/your reason might be justifiable given the economic situation. meaning, perhaps he could escape back home for a couple months and save up some mula and buy some new shoes for you.

But as the above said, once he leaves, it will be very very difficult for him to come back. He may even be denied entry if he attempts to visit. An overstay is a large red-flag. It might be worth the wait for the AP or even his GC. GC = 6 months out of the country per year with a free return ticket through customs... His GC could be produced in as little as 3-4 months. You've already waited several months, how hard is a coyuple more?

[Old Dominion 26]

As you say, just let him fly away. I, for one, believe that's the end of it. Work out some kind of divorce agreement so that you are in no way obligated to provide for him. You have enough on your hands already. Based on personal knowledge, though, your kids would do well in the UK after a time of adjustment to a different culture. It would be an eye-opening experience for them.

[akodiet 0]

Hello everyone. Unfortunately, we have not completed the AOS as yet. We were married Feb. 16, 2008. Due to one unforeseen event after another, we have had to put it off. Now my husband is out of status (he is from the U.K.-British). However, he now wants to go back home. We live in Ohio, and it's no big mystery that Ohio's economy and job market sucks at the moment. He is wanting to go back there so he can work. Now, he also can't stand it here. I have two children, from a previous marriage (one who is special needs)...am in college, and working full time....so it's not as if I can just uproot and leave. He's not happy here overall, I also am mature enough to realize it takes two to make a relationship work.

So...my question is...if he wanted to leave to go back...and we have not applied for the Green Card, Work Authorization, or Advance Parole...how hard would it be for him to return to the UK?

Also, should it come down to him wanting to come back (I'm aware we would have to probably start all over with paperwork)...but what type of process would we be looking at then as well?

Thanks in advance to anyone who may reply.

/quote]

Your Husband is STUPID!! You dont deserve him. Just let it go, im sure one day youll find someone who will treat u and love u back........