Frustrating Mena Men

[Muh and me 18]

I am so frustrated right now, i could scream. Well I did-at him. Kamal has had his temp. driving permit here for months. He drove in Morocco, and has only tried to drive here. He comes up with every excuse in the book not to drive. I tote his azz back and forth all over, work, where ever. I feel like a taxi service. Today he got behind the wheel and went to start my car and i thought he was gonna blow the engine!! Saturday he came flying down the driveway (short one) without looking and if there was someone walking could have killed them. He acts like a stupid little kid. I could teach a 10 year old better. There is nobody here that can or has time to teach him. We can't afford (and he wouln'dt pay) for driving lessons. I don't know what to do. I yelled at him all the way to dropping him off at work, and went to work in tears. . HELP!! What the heck can i do?

[Nutty 2]

I can relate to the frustration your in. The problem is breaking him of his bad driving habits that he acquired in Morroco. If you don't have the money to spare for driving lessons - and - it is too stressful for you to teach him, then it is imperative you find a friend to be his driving coach. Maybe rereading the driver's handbook at the same time would also be beneficial.

If he still keeps up with his dangerous driving habits, knowing the laws and knowing how to operate a car safely, then the next step is the morgue tour. It's a program of taking young kids to the morgue to show them people who have died in car accidents. It helps discourage them from driving recklessly.

[Muh and me 18]

I can relate to the frustration your in. The problem is breaking him of his bad driving habits that he acquired in Morroco. If you don't have the money to spare for driving lessons - and - it is too stressful for you to teach him, then it is imperative you find a friend to be his driving coach. Maybe rereading the driver's handbook at the same time would also be beneficial.

If he still keeps up with his dangerous driving habits, knowing the laws and knowing how to operate a car safely, then the next step is the morgue tour. It's a program of taking young kids to the morgue to show them people who have died in car accidents. It helps discourage them from driving recklessly.

he doesn't think he is driving badly!

[*JG* 2]

My own husband had never driven at all in Jamaica. When he was ready to drive, I made him stay in nearly empty parking lots on Sundays only for months. After that, I wouldn't let him drive on anything but small non-busy streets for another few months...mostly on Sundays too. To get him on the highway, I only let him drive on Sunday mornings before 6 a.m. Slowly he progressed to better times and busier streets. To parellel park, we took laundry baskets on a street full of closed businesses on a Sunday and made him park between. Before he took his driver's test, I hired a driving instructor for 2 hours (2 hour minimum....$120) to make sure I taught him properly and didn't miss anything.

This is one of these things you have to argue your points and make very clear to him. If he damages your car, some else's property, and/or someone....maybe even kill them, this will be very hard, if not impossible to get over. You have got to make him understand the importance of this. If you can't do it, find someone who can. And, if you must, hire someone neutral to do it. This is every important.

[brnidokiegurl 0]

Surely he sees the differences from Morocco...they are slightly (crazy) drivers there....we stay in our own lanes etc etc...i would definatly save for the lessons...let a man be his teacher and he will see how it is here.

[Muh and me 18]

Surely he sees the differences from Morocco...they are slightly (crazy) drivers there....we stay in our own lanes etc etc...i would definatly save for the lessons...let a man be his teacher and he will see how it is here.

i'm just ready to call it quits and don't care if he ever gets his frickin license

[Nasturtium 500]

Perhaps he doesn't realize that our driving laws are enforced. You could always let him know that. It's not that places like Jordan, Egypt, Morocco, etc don't have laws or the same laws.. it's that the enforcement is different. We stay in line because we are more apt to be ticketed for one thing.

[*JG* 2]

Surely he sees the differences from Morocco...they are slightly (crazy) drivers there....we stay in our own lanes etc etc...i would definatly save for the lessons...let a man be his teacher and he will see how it is here.

i'm just ready to call it quits and don't care if he ever gets his frickin license

You want to keep driving him around? That gets so annoying.

[Der Bücherwurm 1]

I nearly had a heart attack the first time I drove in Dubai. I know I pissed off a bunch of Arabs with how slow I was driving. People in the ME drive like a bunch of teenage nutters on a rampage. I would shake I was so scared at how recklessly everyone was driving and my fiance would just laugh. After a month however, I was road-raging with the best of them.

I'm not sure how he'll drive in the states. That's a ways away though.

[yassmine2878 1]

I made photocopies of all the tickets my friends at work got for stuff like no seatbelt, speeding, weaving, etc. and showed them to Ahmed. I think that made him realize the seriousness of it.

Also (and Im not saying this is a good idea) I let him loose on the Interstate. He was pretty convinced he knew all about driving, so I decided to let him excercise his knowledge. Where we used to live there was a 2-3 lane Interstate with enough hustle and bustle to really scare the sheet out of him. I think that also helped him realize American drivers dont appreciate Moroccan driving tactics.

He's a much safer driver these days. Although, I did have some patience when it came to teaching him how to drive, but I think that's only because I come from a long line of teacher. You might try one of the online defensive driving courses to help him understand the rules of the road. Ive also seen online driver's ed courses, but that's for Texas.

And dont feel bad, my DH wouldnt touch the driver's manual with a ten foot pole until the last minute.

[Muh and me 18]

He made me drive the first day i was in morocco. He misplaced his licesne. I was so scared the way they drive there. i refused to drive anymore. After i came home he conviently found his license. grrrrrrrr, men. I'm not gonna drive his but around forever either. He may have to walk like he did in Morocco!

[~Jackie~ 30]

Not everybody is cut out to drive. My daughter, Jessica, had drivers ed like all kids do. Well, she froze up. Her teacher called and told me if she did not get behind the wheel and drive he would give her an F every day. I said 'ya know what, if she is afraid to hurt someone by her driving, I think you should be happy she is being honest." Well, she got an F and had to do 2 hours of step aerobics back to back everyday..lol.

She's now 31 still not driving. So, maybe he is not a driver. He's a rider. Nothing wrong with that.

jJ

[amylovespaul 0]

My husband never drove in England. Now all he's done here is drive up and down our driveway and around an empty parking lot. He just really has no clue. He was sitting in the car the other day waiting for me to get in to drive down the driveway. When I go in he said "Did I start the car because I'm not sure I turned the key far enough." "Umm do you hear the engine running? Cause I don't" But I have to be nice about it and show him how to start the car for the hundreth time. He also has no confindence in himself. He's convinced he won't pass his test and he's going to kill himself or someone else. He's been here 3 years. It's hurting him finding a job because nobody in my family, including me, can drive him back and forth to a job. Patience is all I can say. I must have a lot of it. Otherwise I'd have choked him a long time ago!

[Nasturtium 500]

I made photocopies of all the tickets my friends at work got for stuff like no seatbelt, speeding, weaving, etc. and showed them to Ahmed. I think that made him realize the seriousness of it.

I'm lucky I didn't actually have a single issue with Ammar on this-- he got it when i just told him... but... I did bother to tell him that we get tickets for things and he believed me. Your approach is what i was talking about. I think sometimes maybe they don't think things are enforced-- just like at home.

I admittedly drove a few times in jordan and it didn't bother me... but... I only drove once on the highway and then the other times were short drives in Irbed. I tried to avoid driving not for any other reason than it's an imprisionable offence without your Jordanian or valid international DL.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I am so frustrated right now, i could scream. Well I did-at him. Kamal has had his temp. driving permit here for months. He drove in Morocco, and has only tried to drive here. He comes up with every excuse in the book not to drive. I tote his azz back and forth all over, work, where ever. I feel like a taxi service. Today he got behind the wheel and went to start my car and i thought he was gonna blow the engine!! Saturday he came flying down the driveway (short one) without looking and if there was someone walking could have killed them. He acts like a stupid little kid. I could teach a 10 year old better. There is nobody here that can or has time to teach him. We can't afford (and he wouln'dt pay) for driving lessons. I don't know what to do. I yelled at him all the way to dropping him off at work, and went to work in tears. . HELP!! What the heck can i do?

Take away his keys and act like a taxi until you can save up for driving lessons. It's cheaper than lawsuits for a bad accident, and saves on insurance, too. Problem solved!

Edited August 26, 2008 by Virtual wife