If you are or have been in an International Marriage

[Turboguy 6]

Didn't like it being called Mail Order Bride.... Did not take the survey because of it's wording...

There have been some big discussions about the term Mail Order Bride. I can agree that none of us who have a cross cultural marriage like that term. My own wife was one who objected the loudest.

To be effective, this survey MUST collect a very large number of respondents. To accomplish that, they wanted the widest possible coverage. The cold hard reality is that it is a term those who critisize us use is Mail Order Bride. Actually if you go past the opening line everything after that is "Cross Cultural Marriage Survey"

I can say for a fact that even the guys who created the survey don't like the MOB term. It is just something that people recognize. There was a desire to incite the feminazi crowd who create so many problems for those in a cross cultural or international marrige to jump all over this.

The bottom line is - they need respondents - a LOT of them. With enough, there is no way any one group can manipulate the results - and that is the objectivity they seek.

[Turboguy 6]

For anyone who prefers I have attached a Hardcopy of the survey. It may be downloaded and completed manually, then faxed in to record results.

Cross_Cultural_Marriage_Survey.pdf

[DARUMA07 25]

Didn't like it being called Mail Order Bride.... Did not take the survey because of it's wording...

There have been some big discussions about the term Mail Order Bride. I can agree that none of us who have a cross cultural marriage like that term. My own wife was one who objected the loudest.

To be effective, this survey MUST collect a very large number of respondents. To accomplish that, they wanted the widest possible coverage. The cold hard reality is that it is a term those who critisize us use is Mail Order Bride. Actually if you go past the opening line everything after that is "Cross Cultural Marriage Survey"

I can say for a fact that even the guys who created the survey don't like the MOB term. It is just something that people recognize. There was a desire to incite the feminazi crowd who create so many problems for those in a cross cultural or international marrige to jump all over this.

The bottom line is - they need respondents - a LOT of them. With enough, there is no way any one group can manipulate the results - and that is the objectivity they seek.

Since you explained it that way.... I'll try it again!

[Fandango 1,439]

There was a desire to incite the feminazi crowd who create so many problems for those in a cross cultural or international marrige to jump all over this.

They do? How so? And why is there desire to incite them?

[*JG* 2]

Is it just for Russian marraiges?

[one...two...tree 2,762]

There was a desire to incite the feminazi crowd who create so many problems for those in a cross cultural or international marrige to jump all over this.

They do? How so? And why is there desire to incite them?

ditto... feminazi???

[Jenn! 918]

There was a desire to incite the feminazi crowd who create so many problems for those in a cross cultural or international marrige to jump all over this.

They do? How so? And why is there desire to incite them?

ditto... feminazi???

From goodwife.com:

On the other side of this issue is the position taken by the radical feminists. Also known as "feminazis" for their attitudes and position regarding the roles of the man and the woman in a relationship. These "ladies" love to further their agenda with tales of horror regarding Mail Order Brides. They also want a man to be sensitive to their needs and desires to the point of losing everything about him that makes him a man. Here is a version of this "guide" written by one of those women.

What I like about this, or rather what I find funny in a sad pathetic way, is how she basically says to pretend to care and listen to the man who she supposedly loves and wants to spend her life with as a way to further her agenda in having, getting more, and maintaining all control of the relationship. When I read this kind of "opinion" I am further convinced in my decision to get as far away as I can from this type of woman who has become the norm rather than the exception in our Western society.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

There was a desire to incite the feminazi crowd who create so many problems for those in a cross cultural or international marrige to jump all over this.

They do? How so? And why is there desire to incite them?

ditto... feminazi???

From goodwife.com:

On the other side of this issue is the position taken by the radical feminists. Also known as "feminazis" for their attitudes and position regarding the roles of the man and the woman in a relationship. These "ladies" love to further their agenda with tales of horror regarding Mail Order Brides. They also want a man to be sensitive to their needs and desires to the point of losing everything about him that makes him a man. Here is a version of this "guide" written by one of those women.

What I like about this, or rather what I find funny in a sad pathetic way, is how she basically says to pretend to care and listen to the man who she supposedly loves and wants to spend her life with as a way to further her agenda in having, getting more, and maintaining all control of the relationship. When I read this kind of "opinion" I am further convinced in my decision to get as far away as I can from this type of woman who has become the norm rather than the exception in our Western society.

Good grief...

[GabachaYucateca 0]

If the people coordinating this survey are trying to incite "feminazis," they certainly don't sound like very good qualitative researchers.

I personally have my own opinions about Mail order brides and pay-to-date Internet sites, but I don't think I'll share.

And that goodwife.com site is terrifying!

Edited July 27, 2008 by GabachaYucateca

[elmcitymaven 9,711]

I think I may have just vomited a little in my mouth after reading the home page of goodwife.com...

"Are there any good women left in the West? Sure there are. Are they easy to find? Not on your life!"

[one...two...tree 2,762]

If the people coordinating this survey are trying to incite "feminazis," they certainly don't sound like very good qualitative researchers.

I personally have my own opinions about Mail order brides and pay-to-date Internet sites, but I don't think I'll share.

And that goodwife.com site is terrifying!

I suppose generalities can be made as much about the men who use international marriage services as can be about the American women they feel rejected by, but in the end every situation is different and everyone has their own personal reasons for why they feel the way they do...hopefully most don't act on generalities made by others.

[Turboguy 6]

Is it just for Russian marraiges?

No, not at all. It is open to anyone who was or is married to someone from another country.

If the people coordinating this survey are trying to incite "feminazis," they certainly don't sound like very good qualitative researchers.

I don't see my 10' pole anywhere and not sure how much I would want to touch on this one if I did. Actually at least one of the researchers from the university is a woman who would call herself a feminist without much hesitation.

There are some people that think the IMBRA went "a little" too far. I am all for protecting women and making sure that they are not used, abused, mistreated and all the really bad things that can happen. I think IMBRA has it's good parts. One example of where I think it went to far is that I don't think I should have to have a police background check to say hello to a woman from Russia or England, or China or anywhere. I have no problem with a background check if I want to bring her here on a K-1 visa. I do have a problem with needing it to say hello. If I need a police background check to say hello to a woman from Manila, why don't I need one to say hello to a women from San Diego. There is a far greater chance I would actually meet the woman from San Diego.

I could write a couple of pages on this but one of the primary goals of the survey is to have some real facts and statistics to know what problems people really do face and that applies to American men meeting Russian women or South American women and the women themselves. As far as relationships that start with an agency right now it is more men meeting women but I do think American women who do get involved with men from overseas may face as much or more of the same problems the men run into.

This does appear to me to be the best effort I have seen at coming up with good statistics and information to really know what is happening to us. Knowlege can only help. Even if it tells us something different than what we want to hear it is better to have the facts.

[JVKn'CVO 11]

We participated. I hope this survey helps eliminate some of the prejudice against international marriages

Saludos,

Caro

[Sinergy 3]

when its called mail order bride, theres going to be prejudice

[Martiniolive 0]

As far as the specific data like e-mail and phone I am sure some would be concerned about that but if you leave it blank everything still works so if the phone number or e-mail, exc bothers you just leave it blank or enter something like 111-111-1111. They are not going to call anyone, and they you won't find yourself on any spam mailing list.

I tried that but apparently it sends the survey to your email address and so as I filled in an email addy which doesn't exist, I cannot take part.

I second the PP who questioned the survey being called "mail order bride"- we did not meet on a marriage site, we met at a conference and then had a LDR until he came here to Ireland, and now we are moving to the USA. I think many couples here met in similar circumstances, ie not on a specific relationship website. So I don't even know if we/ most members of this site are suitable for the survey.

Yeah really! It's sexist hahaha...why not just "International Matrimony/Marriage" Mail order is so out of date sounding anyway.....doesn't that kind of imply using a brokerage service? The name asside it sounds like a really cool survey, I would love to see the results