HELP ME

[stillhurting 0]

I AM A AFRICAN FEMALE AND I AM GOING THROUGH SOME THINGS RIGHT NOW THAT ARE REALLY SERIOUS TO ME MAYBE NOT TO ANYONE ELSE BUT ME THIS IS REALLY HARD, I JUST FOUND OUT THAT MY HUSBAND JUST MARRIED ANOTHER WOMAN IN THE STATES HE TELLS ME IT IS JUST FOR THE GREEN CARD BUT TO ME THIS IS NOT TRUE HE LIES AND SAYS THAT HE WILL SEND FOR ME WHEN HE CAN HE HAS BEEN THERE FOR A LONG TIME SERIOUSLY ABOUT FEW YEARS NOW AND I REALLY THOUGHT WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT THIS TELL ME THIS HOW CAN YOU MARRY SOME ONE AND BE AROUND THEM EVERY DAY AND NOT BE IN LOVE WITH THEM CRAZY I KNOW BUT I KNOW THAT HE HAS TO HAVE SOME KIND OF FEELINGS FOR HER BECAUSE IF IT WAS JUST ABOUT A GREEN CARD THEN I KNOW MANY PEOPLE THAT JUST GET MARRIED TO SOME ONE AND HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT PERSON AND IT'S A AGREEMENT BETWEEN THEM BUT THIS IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT, BECAUSE I KNOW HE HAS TO HAVE SOME FEELINGS HE IS SPENDING TIME WITH HER ALL THE TIME AND I KNOW HE IS MAKING LOVE WITH HER HE CAN TELL ME SOMETHING ELSE BUT I DON'T BELIEVE THAT HE TELLS ME THAT HE IS GOING TO SEND FOR ME AS SOON AS HE CAN HE TOLD ME THAT IN A FEW MONTHS I CAN COME OVER THERE BUT HOW CAN HE DO THAT AND HE GOT MARRIED HE ALSO SAYS THAT HE HAS TO DIVORCE HER THEN REMARRY ME OVER THERE BECAUSE OUR MARRIAGE IS NOT LEGAL IN THE STATES HOW DID THIS HAPPEN TO ME AND I FEEL LIKE HE IS NOT GOING TO SEND FOR ME ANYTIME SOON AND I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO ABOUT THIS PLEASE DON'T COME WITH MEAN STUFF TO SAY TO ME BECAUSE I AM IN ENOUGH PAIN I STUMBLED UP ON THIS SITE THROUGH SOME ONE AND THEY TOLD ME IT IS A GOOD SITE JUST ASKING FOR SOME ONE TO REALLY ANSWER THIS FOR ME HOW LONG DOES THE PROCESS TAKE FOR ME TO COME OVER THERE AND SINCE HE IS MARRIED TO SOME ONE IN THE STATES WHAT RIGHTS DO ME AND MY CHILD HAVE AND WHAT RIGHTS DOES THE OTHER WOMAN, HAVE WITH HIM AND HOW LONG DOES THE WHOLE GREEN CARD PROCESS TAKE BEFORE HE CAN DIVORCE HER AND SEND FOR ME IF THATS SOMETHING THAT HE WANTS TO REALLY DO PLEASE HELP ME

[KimandRuss 0]

Oh dear. I'm sorry I don't really have any advice for you but I am sorry for your pain and hope you can sort all of this out.

[stillhurting 0]

Oh dear. I'm sorry I don't really have any advice for you but I am sorry for your pain and hope you can sort all of this out.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE KIND WORDS YOU JUST DONT KNOW WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH WITH THIS IT REALLY HURTS BAD

[Sister Fracas 5]

One question, why would you WANT to continue any kind of relationship with this man?

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I'm sorry for what you are going through. If he is legally married to another woman in the U.S. , there's no way he can petition for you to come here to the states. Do you have a legal certificate of marriage to your husband?

[stillhurting 0]

One question, why would you WANT to continue any kind of relationship with this man?

I REALLY LOVE THIS MAN THAT'S WHY CALL ME CRAZY

[morocco4ever 63]

One question, why would you WANT to continue any kind of relationship with this man?

I have to agree. If he is the kind of man that would use a woman for a green card why would anyone want him? If he is lying to you, why would you want him? If he is lying to the other woman why would you want him? You sound like a nice lady, and I am sorry that someone has hurt you like this.

I am curious about something. Did he marry her in your country and she petitioned him, or was he already here?

[stillhurting 0]

I'm sorry for what you are going through. If he is legally married to another woman in the U.S. , there's no way he can petition for you to come here to the states. Do you have a legal certificate of marriage to your husband?

YES I DO HAVE A CERTIFICATE THAT SAYS WE ARE MARRIED BUT HE TELLS ME THAT HE CAN PETITION FOR ME TO COME THERE, SO WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT THIS WHOLE THING BECAUSE HE TELLS ME THAT HE CAN SEND FOR ME I JUST HAVE TO WAIT

[Marlita 1]

Well it sounds like the man is using whoever he is with here in the States to get a greencard. Maybe that woman does not know that he is using her so she thinks she is in a legitimate relationship. This is gonna be painful for her too when she finds out how bad he used her. i am sure she is in love with him and has no idea about you and the child. This also has to be hard on you too, knowing that he is with someone else. Sounds like this guy is using the both of you. He cannot file for you to come here if he is married to another woman. When and if he ever gets out of the current marriage he is in, without someone finding out he commited visa fraud, he will not be able to send for you for many years. He is not a US citizen, just a legal resident. So if he divorces his current wife and sends for you, you will have to wait for a visa number to come up and that can take 5+ years. He can however file for you as a US citizen when and if he gets his citizenship....which will take him at least 3-5 years from now. Either way you look at it this is not a good situation for any of you.

I am sorry you have to go thru this. Sounds like the guy didnt figure out all the issues with his scam and now its going to be worst than had he done it the legal way.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I'm sorry for what you are going through. If he is legally married to another woman in the U.S. , there's no way he can petition for you to come here to the states. Do you have a legal certificate of marriage to your husband?

YES I DO HAVE A CERTIFICATE THAT SAYS WE ARE MARRIED BUT HE TELLS ME THAT HE CAN PETITION FOR ME TO COME THERE, SO WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT THIS WHOLE THING BECAUSE HE TELLS ME THAT HE CAN SEND FOR ME I JUST HAVE TO WAIT

He's not being truthful or he doesn't know the immigration laws. If he has legally married the other woman within the U.S., and he is petitioning for you to come here, it will be denied. It is illegal to be married to more than one person in this country.

Edited June 30, 2008 by Jabberwocky

[000 0]

I'm sorry for what you are going through. If he is legally married to another woman in the U.S. , there's no way he can petition for you to come here to the states. Do you have a legal certificate of marriage to your husband?

I agree, and the process for him to get a greencard can vary, that is even if he gets one. If you are from a country that keeps good marriage records they will see that he is married to you still so he will not get a green card at all unless he can prove he has divorced you. Sorry for your pain and I hope they deport your husband so he will be back with you soon if that is what you want, to be with him, even though you really should consider your options.

[brnidokiegurl 1]

One question, why would you WANT to continue any kind of relationship with this man?

why would you put your life on hold for something like this, he may never send for you, if this is what he did he needs to be reported

[KimandRuss 0]

He couldn't possibly 'send' for you until he has legal status to do so. He would also need to divorce this other woman who most likely knows nothing of you and could possible make the future he seems to be planning much more difficult for him/you. If it's proven he was legally married (to you) he has committed visa fraud (he's committed it anyway, really). For this he would receive a lifelong ban to the USA.

Even if he were to petition you right after a divorce, you will still have to go through an adjustment process that, to me, would seem quite difficult to prove there was no visa fraud going on when he arrived here.

Unfortunately, you will find some similar stories here on VJ. Perhaps doing a search for those would at least bring you some comfort knowing you're not alone.

I understand you love him and all the reasons you want to believe in all he has to say. I really do. But, you sound like a bright and intelligent woman... you deserve better than that.

Whatever you choose, much luck to you.

[Zee Bee 61]

I'm sorry that you are going through this. I cannot possibly understand what you are going through.

If he is really going to "send" for you after scamming his USC wife, it is going to take years before you can come here. In the meantime, you are stuck in your country and he is here.

Good luck to you.

[doodlebugg 10]

I'm so sorry. If you'd kindly post his name, address, and phone number we can then send that off to the USCIS and ask them how long it will take for him to petition for you. Also, if you have his wife's information please post that as well and someone here will contact her and ask if she can speed things along.