Some interesting facts about Chuck Norris

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

Conan O'Brien used to have this bit where he would pull this lever and they would play a random Walker Texas Ranger clip... too funny

The best one was where Chuck managed to beat up 3 guys with his leg in a bear trap.

[Marilyn. 340]

[Susita 175]

LOL Chuck Norris is the MAN!

[amiquechu 0]

Here are a few more interesting Chuck Norris facts to enjoy on this lovely Friday morning...

Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.

Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.

A high tide means Chuck Norris is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants.

Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.

Using his trademark roundhouse kick, Chuck Norris once made a fieldgoal in RJ Stadium in Tampa Bay from the 50 yard line of Qualcomm stadium in San Diego.

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris is expected to win gold in every swimming competition at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, even though Chuck Norris does not swim. This is because when Chuck Norris enters the water, the water gets out of his way and Chuck Norris simply walks across the pool floor.

Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."

Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.

[*JG* 2]

No matter how guilty I feel about it, I LOVE Chuch Norris!

[Ban Hammer 14,569]

[almaty 19]

those were good..love chuck norris..he is indeed the man..next to ric flair,,,woo

Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.

[amiquechu 0]

Here's a few more...

Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day.

Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.

Chuck Norris once sued Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr, insisting that that actually is "his" way.

Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.

According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.

Edited May 16, 2008 by Erika's husband

[Ban Hammer 14,569]

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

there you go, steven.

[almaty 19]

Chuck Norris once sued Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr, insisting that that actually is "his" way.

chuck is one bad mutterfu................. shut your mouth.//.

[Ban Hammer 14,569]

chuck norris once suspended ewok from vj.

[amiquechu 0]

chuck norris once suspended ewok from vj.

[amiquechu 0]

Here are some more...(I kind of like the one about the rattlesnake)

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

When J. Robert Oppenheimer said "I have become death, the destroyer Of worlds", He was not referring to the atomic bomb. He was referring to the Chuck Norris halloween costume he was wearing.

In an act of great philanthropy, Chuck made a generous donation to the American Cancer Society. He donated 6,000 dead bodies for scientific research.

Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in "I hope I don't get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris."

What’s known as the UFC, or Ultimate Fighting Championship, doesn’t use its full name, which happens to be “Ultimate Fighting Championship, Non-Chuck-Norris-Division”.

There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist, and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.

Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.

Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.

It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself.

Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.

[Kang Lang 7]

an oldie but a goodie...chuck is a very nice guy in person though bad toupee and all!

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

I'm ashamed to admit that I watch Missing In Action 2 & 3 on AMC the other night...

Chuck's answer to Rambo - complete with mullet and headband.

Edited May 16, 2008 by Number 6