Monday

[noura 0]

jess, i wish you well in whatever your decision may be... and i'll be praying you recieve the guidance you need to comfort you in your decision. we're all here for you either way....

good luck!

Noura

[Together4ever 1]

Jess if it helps, you know there are people here who understand and won't judge you no matter what you have to do. My prayers are with you to be happy no matter what you decide.

[noura 0]

JP and J_W, I'm worrying abt this also... my ex put me in plenty of debt and now I'm recieving IRS stuff to both of us but w/ his SSN# on it... abt back taxes and fees and stuff.... I'm scared to death cuz I'm still trying to get my taxes straightened out and up to date! I'm trying to pay off the debt and just call it a loss, but I'm truly frightened abt the tax stuff!

Noura

[MaryandMian 1]

Wow ladies stay strong and will continue to remember each and everyone of you. I have not been touched by divorce and was widowed. My heart goes out to all of you with these problems that you are facing.

Mary

[honeyblonde 0]

I agree Jess. There are others in our forum who we have encouraged to stay even though they are no longer involved with someone from one of our countries. Whatever you decide must be in your best interest. You will always be our friend and welcome even if you decide to come home. You can't take care of your husband or anybody else if you don't take care of yourself first. It took me a long time to learn that one, and I still have to work on it sometimes.

Jean, Good luck! Are you sure the consulate checked your utility records? Can they do that? Heck, my last husband who I sponsored from Morocco got his new wife here from Morocco one month before Abdel's interview. I will always wonder if they even noticed that they were processing both of our applications through their office at the same time in Casablanca. Sometimes we worry too much that they will be put off by something that they may not even know about.

[jordanianprincess 0]

JP and J_W, I'm worrying abt this also... my ex put me in plenty of debt and now I'm recieving IRS stuff to both of us but w/ his SSN# on it... abt back taxes and fees and stuff.... I'm scared to death cuz I'm still trying to get my taxes straightened out and up to date! I'm trying to pay off the debt and just call it a loss, but I'm truly frightened abt the tax stuff!

Noura

Noura, let me put your mind at ease. I just finished dealing with this. My ex left me with back taxes for 3 years totaling $7,000. I paid it off and yes it was under his social, but we filed married so there is nothing you can do to change that.

Now I spoke to a lawyer about this, the important thing is that your taxes are filed and you have some kind of payment arrangment made with the IRS. If you owe taxes its not a problem, but you have to have some kind of payment arrangment in place. That will keep you in good standing with the IRS. I paid my taxes in full a few months ago because I was having a hard time dealing with the IRS and they were charging me soooooo much interest.

Make sure you have a payment arrangment in place with the IRS.If you are in default with the IRS and dont' have an arrangment they won't even let you renew your passport! So that is the only thing you need to worry about.

As far as the other financial things, you were married, so there is nothing you can do. As long as you don't have anything that is shared after the divorce date you should be fine.

If you discover something shared aftert he divorce date, then do some research to find out what it was. In Jean's case, she said the Utilities were shared. I'm not even sure why the embassy needs to know about that? But I'm sure a letter can expain anything you are unsure about.

[honeyblonde 0]

Ok I promised to finish posting about my Monday so here goes.

Last night was one of those "I feel so fat" nights. I guess partly because Abdel's niece was on cam with him yesterday and she has finally started to wear makeup and have her eyebrows done. She looked absolutely beautiful. The whole family was on cam too, and they were all teasing her about growing up and becoming dangerous. She has one year of nursing school left and is about 20 I think. I was cleaning house yesterday, no makeup and bummy. I did not like what I saw of myself on cam at all.

So, I get to work this morning more determined than ever to lose weight and what do they have there? Chocolate cake with tons of frosting and "death by chocolate". I was able to limit myself to a small serving of the second one, and no cake. Let's just hope I can make it through the afternoon with no more weak moments. I swear my job will keep me fat - there are just so many temptations!

My son called mid-morning to tell me he was at the university enrolling. He goofed off last year so lost all his scholarships. Now he's going back on his own dime and taking one class at a time.

Work is a "get caught up" day, yet again. I chose a pile I was 3 months behind on (like I am on way too many of them) and am seeing how much I can get done on it today. In fact, I guess it's time to head back and see if I can finish at least half of the pile today.

Take care everybody and don't worry so much! I know that's easier to say than do, but if you can pull it off it sure makes life easier! Now if I can just listen to my own advice......................

[Together4ever 1]

JP and J_W, I'm worrying abt this also... my ex put me in plenty of debt and now I'm recieving IRS stuff to both of us but w/ his SSN# on it... abt back taxes and fees and stuff.... I'm scared to death cuz I'm still trying to get my taxes straightened out and up to date! I'm trying to pay off the debt and just call it a loss, but I'm truly frightened abt the tax stuff!

Noura

Noura, let me put your mind at ease. I just finished dealing with this. My ex left me with back taxes for 3 years totaling $7,000. I paid it off and yes it was under his social, but we filed married so there is nothing you can do to change that.

Now I spoke to a lawyer about this, the important thing is that your taxes are filed and you have some kind of payment arrangment made with the IRS. If you owe taxes its not a problem, but you have to have some kind of payment arrangment in place. That will keep you in good standing with the IRS. I paid my taxes in full a few months ago because I was having a hard time dealing with the IRS and they were charging me soooooo much interest.

Make sure you have a payment arrangment in place with the IRS.If you are in default with the IRS and dont' have an arrangment they won't even let you renew your passport! So that is the only thing you need to worry about.

As far as the other financial things, you were married, so there is nothing you can do. As long as you don't have anything that is shared after the divorce date you should be fine.

If you discover something shared aftert he divorce date, then do some research to find out what it was. In Jean's case, she said the Utilities were shared. I'm not even sure why the embassy needs to know about that? But I'm sure a letter can expain anything you are unsure about.

I'm all ruffled because when the Consul interviewed Mohammed she said to him "your fiancee is living in her ex husband's home and he's paying her living, doesn't this bother you?" (Nice assumption, Lady. I paid my own way thank you very much!!!) Mohammed explained that I had nowhere else to go and was only staying in a room in the house and to be close to the kids until I could get a full time job and an apartment. Maybe I'm being overly paranoid. I just don't want the wheels falling off this at the end. I don't know if I can handle it. I'm trying so hard to do everything right. It's just when you put your whole (*@#$& life in the hands of very sterile strangers it starts to mess you up. It does me anyway. If I am being stupid, someone just say so please!!!!

[jordanianprincess 0]

Ok I promised to finish posting about my Monday so here goes.

Last night was one of those "I feel so fat" nights. I guess partly because Abdel's niece was on cam with him yesterday and she has finally started to wear makeup and have her eyebrows done. She looked absolutely beautiful. The whole family was on cam too, and they were all teasing her about growing up and becoming dangerous. She has one year of nursing school left and is about 20 I think. I was cleaning house yesterday, no makeup and bummy. I did not like what I saw of myself on cam at all.

So, I get to work this morning more determined than ever to lose weight and what do they have there? Chocolate cake with tons of frosting and "death by chocolate". I was able to limit myself to a small serving of the second one, and no cake. Let's just hope I can make it through the afternoon with no more weak moments. I swear my job will keep me fat - there are just so many temptations!

My son called mid-morning to tell me he was at the university enrolling. He goofed off last year so lost all his scholarships. Now he's going back on his own dime and taking one class at a time.

Work is a "get caught up" day, yet again. I chose a pile I was 3 months behind on (like I am on way too many of them) and am seeing how much I can get done on it today. In fact, I guess it's time to head back and see if I can finish at least half of the pile today.

Take care everybody and don't worry so much! I know that's easier to say than do, but if you can pull it off it sure makes life easier! Now if I can just listen to my own advice......................

Liz, your chocolate cake story reminded me of what happened on Saturday. It was my friend's B-day, and she had a BBQ at the park. I did have a hamburger with no bun but she had chocolate cake that looked sooooooooooooooo good and chocolae covered strawberries! YUM, I didn't have any but I sure did cuss out everyone that ate some in front of me they were taunting me

JP and J_W, I'm worrying abt this also... my ex put me in plenty of debt and now I'm recieving IRS stuff to both of us but w/ his SSN# on it... abt back taxes and fees and stuff.... I'm scared to death cuz I'm still trying to get my taxes straightened out and up to date! I'm trying to pay off the debt and just call it a loss, but I'm truly frightened abt the tax stuff!

Noura

Noura, let me put your mind at ease. I just finished dealing with this. My ex left me with back taxes for 3 years totaling $7,000. I paid it off and yes it was under his social, but we filed married so there is nothing you can do to change that.

Now I spoke to a lawyer about this, the important thing is that your taxes are filed and you have some kind of payment arrangment made with the IRS. If you owe taxes its not a problem, but you have to have some kind of payment arrangment in place. That will keep you in good standing with the IRS. I paid my taxes in full a few months ago because I was having a hard time dealing with the IRS and they were charging me soooooo much interest.

Make sure you have a payment arrangment in place with the IRS.If you are in default with the IRS and dont' have an arrangment they won't even let you renew your passport! So that is the only thing you need to worry about.

As far as the other financial things, you were married, so there is nothing you can do. As long as you don't have anything that is shared after the divorce date you should be fine.

If you discover something shared aftert he divorce date, then do some research to find out what it was. In Jean's case, she said the Utilities were shared. I'm not even sure why the embassy needs to know about that? But I'm sure a letter can expain anything you are unsure about.

I'm all ruffled because when the Consul interviewed Mohammed she said to him "your fiancee is living in her ex husband's home and he's paying her living, doesn't this bother you?" (Nice assumption, Lady. I paid my own way thank you very much!!!) Mohammed explained that I had nowhere else to go and was only staying in a room in the house and to be close to the kids until I could get a full time job and an apartment. Maybe I'm being overly paranoid. I just don't want the wheels falling off this at the end. I don't know if I can handle it. I'm trying so hard to do everything right. It's just when you put your whole (*@#$& life in the hands of very sterile strangers it starts to mess you up. It does me anyway. If I am being stupid, someone just say so please!!!!

Jean, I think that was the red flag, living with your ex. I can understand why you did that, but from the embassy point of view it was a red flag that you have since cleared up. I would not worry about it at all.

[Together4ever 1]

Did I mention I'm a dork? Well... I AM!

The evil yellow folders are putting up a fight... but I appear winning! Yea me!

[UmmSqueakster 54]

Oy, this day has me beat. I've decided I'm too helpful. If anyone at work asks me if I have some time to help, I'm like, sure, no problem. So now, my cube has boxes stacked three high. I have no room to get in or out. My filing bin is overflowing. And still, people ask if I have time to do things. As i peak out to see them from among the stacks, I sort of laugh and go, umm, ummm, let me think... I'm too damn nice to say no.

And, I have a final exam tonight. God bless this instructer. It's computerized legal research and he lets us use the computer to look up the exam answers.

But, I still have half a stupid brief and a whole IP exam due Wednesday. The instructer will be getting those in his inbox at 11:59 pm Wednesday.

Help, help, I'm drowning!

[MaryandMian 1]

Rahma,

Hope you get out from your stack of work. Looks like the boxes and file folders are winnning with you and Jean.

[honeyblonde 0]

What is this, the losing war with paper? I still have 14 1/2 boxes to unpack, and only made it 1/3 of the way through 1 pile of work that was 3 months past due today. I did get 1 1/2 boxes unpacked with all the running to the printer though. One of the files I finally got caught up on today had over 28 e-mails to be saved and printed. That agreement took 8 months to negotiate. I hope I don't have any more like that for a long time.

Rahma, come on girl, you can say it "n" "o" - NO! Do you really want to vanish in a pile of boxes and paper? I know I so often want to do things myself so I know they get done right, but if I never have time to do them they don't get done at all so I've learned to delegate when I can, or turn down work if the person trying to delegate could do it themself quicker than I could.

Noura, JP is right, you can just set up to make payments with the IRS if you find out you owe them. Keep track of everything you pay though. I had to pay them once and they didn't keep accurate records. I had to send proof of everything to get them to post it correctly. There was no way I was going to give them more than I had to!

[kerewin21 2]

OK, we went for infopass today (had to drag myself AND my husband out of bed at 6:00, a far cry from our usual 9AM!) to try to find out something about our missing RFE. Unfortunately she couldn't tell us anything. She just listed a bunch of stuff she thought we might have forgotten, and I kept saying, no I included that. I asked if it could be 2005 taxes, and she said no because it was filed in February, but I'm not convinced of that.

She said she was sending an email to request them to resend the RFE letter, but said that she sends emails all day and they never seem to be acted on (at least she's honest). She suggested I draft a letter and send it to USCIS, certified mail, officially requesting a new copy of the RFE letter, so that they can't screw me later by saying I didn't respond to my RFE.

So we got up at (what is for us) the crack of dawn, took 2 buses and the subway to get to infopass, and it got us nothing. But at least she was nice about it.

Jenn, you might be interested to know that she said the RFE wasn't going to affect the EAD, as far as she could tell. She said that usually they'll put a hold on the account if they don't want an interim EAD issued, and there wasn't a hold on ours, so hopefully it'll be the same for you.

Jean -- I totally remember that feeling of this one random person having so much power over your future. How did they even know you were still on the utilities though? That kind of freaks me out. Honestly, i think it's perfectly reasonable that you live with your children and their father while you're waiting for your new place to be ready, and I hope the CO can step back and see it that way. When do you move in?

Jess -- I know your situation is really hard. I hope you've been able to express your feelings to George. Men sometimes really have to be hit on the head a bunch of times before they get it. I know that your situation is complicated and it's not as simple as that, but I'm just trying to say that I hope you can figure out a way through this together. However if it's not going to work only you can decide that. I will keep you in my thoughts and I hope your heart will show you the right way to go.

[Dixie_Peach 1]

jess, i wish you well in whatever your decision may be... and i'll be praying you recieve the guidance you need to comfort you in your decision. we're all here for you either way....

good luck!

Noura

Jess if it helps, you know there are people here who understand and won't judge you no matter what you have to do. My prayers are with you to be happy no matter what you decide.

Jess... I will be praying for you... this is a difficult time for you... being away from family... *hugs*

I'm all ruffled because when the Consul interviewed Mohammed she said to him "your fiancee is living in her ex husband's home and he's paying her living, doesn't this bother you?" (Nice assumption, Lady. I paid my own way thank you very much!!!) Mohammed explained that I had nowhere else to go and was only staying in a room in the house and to be close to the kids until I could get a full time job and an apartment. Maybe I'm being overly paranoid. I just don't want the wheels falling off this at the end. I don't know if I can handle it. I'm trying so hard to do everything right. It's just when you put your whole (*@#$& life in the hands of very sterile strangers it starts to mess you up. It does me anyway. If I am being stupid, someone just say so please!!!!

nope... not stupid... i think we all feel that way sometimes... hopefully, everything will be straightened out soon... I will be praying for that!