What country is the most challenging for LDR/visa journey?

[pnrmbr975 1]

We had our own share of hardships as well. Power outtages that lasted for hours, road blocks and military check points, I feared for my life when I was down the Philippines to visit my wife. A lot of people trying to scam you, and my wife's family offered all their best to protect me, even supplying us their own bodyguard everywhere we go. I insisted to see the city where she was born, her previous schools and met all the professional staff she has worked with. I remember one time I almost called the police to search for my wife who travelled back to her hometown just to get her police clearance, and heard nothing from her for 24 hours. It turned out the cellphone company had technical problems and it took them forever to resume connection. When I left my wife to go back to San Francisco we were devastated, as if the distance is not hard enough. I travelled 15-16 hours aboard the plane just to be with her. I can't even describe how difficult it is to be away from your loved one. But I am glad, it's all over now.

[AlHayatZween 2]

How have those of you with SO's without visas dealt with your SO and your family? My husband really wanted to meet my family before marrying into it. We were able to fly him north to the US border and have my family drive across. That definitely wouldn't have been possible without a shared border.

Once my family found out we were talking about marriage, my parents got on a plane and came to Morocco (where I was living at the time).

That's when the negotiations for lifetime commitments and livestock were exchanged.

(I wish VJ had sheep smileys)

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

People from the West Bank and Gaza do not get visas from Israel... here is a page directly from the US consulate in Jerusalem- if there was a problem it was with the border control of Egypt and Jordan.

Immigrant Visas

Step 1: Petition

HOW CAN I LIVE PERMANENTLY IN THE UNITED STATES?

If a member of your immediate family is a U.S. citizen, he/she may petition for you to obtain immigrant status.

If your spouse or parent is a legal permanent resident (green card holder), he/she may petition for you to obtain immigrant status.

If you qualify for an employment-based immigrant visa, your prospective-employer may petition for you to obtain immigrant status. In certain cases, you may petition for yourself.

If you are a citizen of a qualifying country, you may apply for the annual Diversity Immigrant Visa Program. Please note that when completing your application on line for the 2009 Diversity Visa, you must take into the considerationthe following information regarding your place of birth:

***If you were born in the West Bank or East Jerusalem you are charged to Jordan, ASIA.

***If you were born in GAza you are charged to Egypt, AFRICA.

You seem to be a bit mixed up.

Nobody "gets a visa" to the U.S. "from" a foreign country. Visas are handled by the U.S. consulate or embassy *in* that foreign country, and it is U.S. State Department personnel who process the visas.

Yes, Palestinians living in the West Bank are "charged" to Jordan. This simply means that the U.S. State Department officially counts them as immigrants from Jordan. Their green card will state that they were born in "Jordan," even if they were born in the West Bank after Israel's 1967 occupation. (However, in a very interesting double standard, Israelis born in the illegal settlements in the West Bank are charged to "Israel.")

Israelis living in Israel "proper" are processed through Tel Aviv (which is the internationally recognized capital of Israel,) NOT Jerusalem (which the U.S., and the rest of the world, does not recognize as part of Israel.)

Palestinians living in the West Bank are INDEED processed through the *Jerusalem* consulate, NOT Amman or Cairo (unless they make a specific request to transfer their case to another consulate.)

It is an extremely difficult situation, as Palestinian males ages 15-45 are categorically banned by Israel's occupation forces from entering occupied Jerusalem -- they are actively prevented by Israeli soldiers from passing through the military checkpoints surrounding the city -- unless they have a special travel permit (tasree7.) The appointment letter from the U.S. consulate is considered irrelevant -- the Israeli military will not accept it for permission to pass through. However, the tasree7 is next to impossible to obtain -- no one I know has ever been able to get one from the Israeli police.

My husband had to risk his life to attend his visa interview.

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

People from the West Bank and Gaza do not get visas from Israel... here is a page directly from the US consulate in Jerusalem- if there was a problem it was with the border control of Egypt and Jordan.

I also want to point out that Israel controls the entire border between the West Bank and Jordan -- no one is permitted to exit (or enter) the West Bank without Israeli permission.

[GabiandVi 34]

I think that anyone that has to fly over the ocean to see their SO has a hard time with LDR. I also think that some have it better than others.

I agree. I'm very fortunate. My husband comes from a stable country in West Africa. And he is able to get a visa to China where I live. He can live here as my spouse as well. Also, after we were married, he was able to get a visa to the US, so he has met my family and was able to join me there when our child was born. I have also been to his country twice.

But about two years ago, during Chinese New Year when he was in his country, he was very ill with malaria, and because the phone system in his country is so terrible all the time, and because the phones lines were being used by 1.3 billion Chinese to call their loved ones during the holiday season, I would have to spend, literally, hours dialing a total of 35 numbers over and over again to finally get through so that I could talk to a relative for about 2 or 3 minutes, which is the usual amount we can talk before his side cuts out.

[Imua 0]

I think that anyone that has to fly over the ocean to see their SO has a hard time with LDR. I also think that some have it better than others.

I agree. I'm very fortunate. My husband comes from a stable country in West Africa. And he is able to get a visa to China where I live. He can live here as my spouse as well. Also, after we were married, he was able to get a visa to the US, so he has met my family and was able to join me there when our child was born. I have also been to his country twice.

But about two years ago, during Chinese New Year when he was in his country, he was very ill with malaria, and because the phone system in his country is so terrible all the time, and because the phones lines were being used by 1.3 billion Chinese to call their loved ones during the holiday season, I would have to spend, literally, hours dialing a total of 35 numbers over and over again to finally get through so that I could talk to a relative for about 2 or 3 minutes, which is the usual amount we can talk before his side cuts out.

I can relate 100%....

Thank GOD for IM/email.

[DeadPoolX 9]

In some ways, I would say Canada. I know that sounds weird, but while Canadians have the easiest time visiting due to sharing a border with the U.S., the very fact that we're "so close but so far away" makes the entire process very difficult to endure. If you and your spouse are across the ocean, it almost feels understandable, considering the distance. However, when some American/Canadian couples are literally a few miles away from one another and yet have to remain separated by legalities, it's enough to drive them nuts.

[rebeccajo 14]

In some ways, I would say Canada. I know that sounds weird, but while Canadians have the easiest time visiting due to sharing a border with the U.S., the very fact that we're "so close but so far away" makes the entire process very difficult to endure. If you and your spouse are across the ocean, it almost feels understandable, considering the distance. However, when some American/Canadian couples are literally a few miles away from one another and yet have to remain separated by legalities, it's enough to drive them nuts.

I think those of us with a SO from the more developed nations, especially those on VWP and Canadians, have it far easier than others.

The 'nuts' factor is self-inflicted.

Edited April 13, 2008 by rebeccajo

[DeadPoolX 9]

In some ways, I would say Canada. I know that sounds weird, but while Canadians have the easiest time visiting due to sharing a border with the U.S., the very fact that we're "so close but so far away" makes the entire process very difficult to endure. If you and your spouse are across the ocean, it almost feels understandable, considering the distance. However, when some American/Canadian couples are literally a few miles away from one another and yet have to remain separated by legalities, it's enough to drive them nuts.

I think those of us with a SO from the more developed nations, especially those on VWP and Canadians, have it far easier than others.

The 'nuts' factor is self-inflicted.

That's what I why said "in some ways." You're right in that the "nuts factor" in self-inflicted; however, that doesn't make the issue any less difficult for those who have to deal with it. That'd be like telling someone with a psychological disorder their problem is "all in their head" and that "they need to get over it." Perhaps some of that is true, but it's far easier said than done.

[Alex+R 0]

Yeah but, if your spouse is from a developed country (or I guess in our case a developed part of an unevenly developed country) you never have to worry about not being able to find them or get ahold of them. You never worry they've been killed unless some natural disaster strikes.

I was a little worried when gangs in Sao Paulo were getting all violent in the summer of 2006, but it passed, and I talked/e-mailed/IMed with Rey every day.

3rd world has to be worse than that.

[rebeccajo 14]

Yeah but, if your spouse is from a developed country (or I guess in our case a developed part of an unevenly developed country) you never have to worry about not being able to find them or get ahold of them. You never worry they've been killed unless some natural disaster strikes.

I was a little worried when gangs in Sao Paulo were getting all violent in the summer of 2006, but it passed, and I talked/e-mailed/IMed with Rey every day.

3rd world has to be worse than that.

Exactly.

As most of you know, my husband is from Northern Ireland. Had we been together during the Troubles, I would have been a very crazy person. As things stand, there is still unrest there from time to time. When I went to NI to go to his interview with him, we had planned to go to Belfast so I could see the city, but there was a rather large riot one weekend that included car burning and interaction between the crowds and police.

I have always actually been very surprised that UK citizens who were born and bred in Northern Ireland don't appear to receive any deeper scrutiny at visa time than those from other parts of the UK. I don't know if that's because NI was never considered an 'enemy' of the US insofar as the Troubles were considered to be an internal country issue.

At any rate, the phones and PC's always work over there, and if you know which areas to avoid, you'll generally be safe.

[Sylvia_n_Joseph 3]

From my experience I would say a 3rd world country and someone without internet access. There is no way my So can get a visitors visa. They just aren't given out. I have only been able to travel once because of my childern and getting permission form work is difficult. There is a huge time difference so calling is difficult and the phone system there is terrible. I sometimes have to wait days before I can get a connection. There have been times when his phone had no power because the electricity goes out for long periods. He doesn't have a computer at home. Internect connections there run about a months wages. He doesn't use internet cafes because he is afraid of scammers getting into personal information. So I have only gotten one email from him when he wanted to give me his addess. It is horrible waiting through all this. And to be sentanced to the California center where everything takes 4 times as long is even more cruel.

[sara..... 371]

perviz is from Kashmir India.......u would think because it says India it would not be that difficult but the quality of life between Kashmir and Delhi is drastically different.........first visit to him my mom and i stayed in srinagar on the way from the airport to the hotel.......a student was shot right in front of us.......we had lived in Pakistan for four years so death was not something that we were shocked by but.........it was not something we expected.........i was not able to see perviz for three days........there were protest and was dangerous at that time.........electric is more off than on.......Internet if there is electric u can get to it in srinagar......if ur in the village u need to travel to the closest city and the Internet there is so slow in speed u waste ur money even trying to give a email telling ur family ur ok....but after leaving srinagar to his moms house in the village......less electric.......and Internet in the village nope.......the army and police stop u for no reason ........travel in Kashmir is difficult to say the least .....if u travel fifty miles u need to leave at least three or four hours ahead because there are check post every so often plus getting stopped by either army or police on top of that........if the army or the police decide that ur driver didnt stop fast enough and decide to beat him for it then its even longer.......if u send any documents to Kashmir count on it taking at least 15 day to a month even if u send it fedx or ups once it hits Delhi its given to a contractor to reach the destination........if u visit in the winter months u also can count on no heat most the time as well as no electric........

but with all this i think that the people from philistine have the hardest problem and the most dangerous time trying to reach interview

Edited April 13, 2008 by estadia

[Imua 0]

Yeah but, if your spouse is from a developed country (or I guess in our case a developed part of an unevenly developed country) you never have to worry about not being able to find them or get ahold of them. You never worry they've been killed unless some natural disaster strikes.

I was a little worried when gangs in Sao Paulo were getting all violent in the summer of 2006, but it passed, and I talked/e-mailed/IMed with Rey every day.

3rd world has to be worse than that.

Much worse - if I wasn't able to read the Nepal news online and know about the infrastructure in different parts of Nepal I would be stressing even more than I am now - also the mentality is different in different countries. For example, today is Nepali New Year and I am assuming the cybercafe is closed - being American I would think there are so many Nepalis overseas who would love to communicate with their families back home today and phone service is so unreliable so I would make a lot of money by being open today, but that's not the Nepali mentality - for them a holiday is a real holiday!!!

As they say, ke garne, what to do??

[HannahP 119]

In some ways, I would say Canada. I know that sounds weird, but while Canadians have the easiest time visiting due to sharing a border with the U.S., the very fact that we're "so close but so far away" makes the entire process very difficult to endure. If you and your spouse are across the ocean, it almost feels understandable, considering the distance. However, when some American/Canadian couples are literally a few miles away from one another and yet have to remain separated by legalities, it's enough to drive them nuts.

I think those of us with a SO from the more developed nations, especially those on VWP and Canadians, have it far easier than others.

The 'nuts' factor is self-inflicted.

As someone with a mental illness who definitely went to the "nuts" extreme while she was waiting for her Canuck to get his visa (three psychiatric hospitalizations in less than six months!), I can say that we definitely have it pretty easy. I think the thing that I am most grateful for is never having to deal with that niggling "What if he's just marrying me for the greencard?" doubt.