Has the Immigration Process Turned You Into a Monster?

[AlHayatZween 2]

Hi,

i've become a monster. The waiting and the stress has just turned me into someone i hardly know. i'm nervous and angry all the time, losing my hair. i feel like i've been living out of a suitcase since last June, since i haven't wanted to commit to a long-term apartment lease or even a long-term job contract because if Habibi gets denied, i will move to Morocco.

i don't think it is the waiting so much, but just the uncertainty of it all... and the lack of understanding or support from my family and friends.

i've become so different from the person i was when i first met my husband, and i wonder... will i ever be that fun and adventurous and not-so-bad-looking person again??

anyone out there that can relate?

hz

[sara..... 371]

Hi,

i've become a monster. The waiting and the stress has just turned me into someone i hardly know. i'm nervous and angry all the time, losing my hair. i feel like i've been living out of a suitcase since last June, since i haven't wanted to commit to a long-term apartment lease or even a long-term job contract because if Habibi gets denied, i will move to Morocco.

i don't think it is the waiting so much, but just the uncertainty of it all... and the lack of understanding or support from my family and friends.

i've become so different from the person i was when i first met my husband, and i wonder... will i ever be that fun and adventurous and not-so-bad-looking person again??

anyone out there that can relate?

hz

yup can relate.........ours has not even received noa2 as of yet my blood pressure is very high and im only 21......at least my family understands and is supportive.....im not angry but really act like i need to go to the gas station for refill of air.......normally im a pretty intelligent person......i carry a full load at college and have my own very very small company.........but i cant seem to think at all anymore........any time perviz comes on line or i call him he asks have u heard anything??? we are both beginning to wonder if this application will be held for ever lol but we know in our hearts it will be approved its just very difficult to think of anything in the future until at least that part of it is done....im thinking of going back to india just so we can see each other again it has been more than a year since i was there.......but then we start thinking of well that money could be put to use for the change of status after he gets here its all very confusing.......but dont lose hope it will all come together the problem is when ..........

sara

[*JG* 2]

Actually, everyone on this site can relate to the stresses of the immigration process. And, it doesn't end when they land on US soil. It's a never ending nightmare.

[AlHayatZween 2]

Actually, everyone on this site can relate to the stresses of the immigration process. And, it doesn't end when they land on US soil. It's a never ending nightmare.

I'm sure it's still a nightmare after the fact.

It's just the optimistic side of me hopes that at least it will be some relief once/ if he gets here.

[almaty 19]

i think the the wait .and the uncertanity and the feel of powerlessness ....leads to stress and the feeling of losing control, at times

[brnidokiegurl 0]

Its alot of stress, but first you have to keep living your life here for yourself, dont start making all these long term plans until you know the outcome of things to come. moving there is not the only answer to a denial, have you really thought if you want to live there and the life you will have compared to the life you have here? healthwise you have to try best to keep yourself going..what other choice do you have> Do for yourself now, make a good life here so you can bring him into it

[SMOKE 1,426]

Actually, everyone on this site can relate to the stresses of the immigration process. And, it doesn't end when they land on US soil. It's a never ending nightmare.

I'm sure it's still a nightmare after the fact.

It's just the optimistic side of me hopes that at least it will be some relief once/ if he gets here.

chin up HZ. we can all relate to what you're going thru. many of us have had & are still having the same feelings & thoughts you're having right now. we were approved at the embassy yesterday & yes i already feel some relief. but, i know we're not even close to being done w/ the stress & adjustments in our lives to come later. keep it together, stay positive, you will make it.

[pcana 1]

Hi,

i've become a monster. The waiting and the stress has just turned me into someone i hardly know. i'm nervous and angry all the time, losing my hair. i feel like i've been living out of a suitcase since last June, since i haven't wanted to commit to a long-term apartment lease or even a long-term job contract because if Habibi gets denied, i will move to Morocco.

i don't think it is the waiting so much, but just the uncertainty of it all... and the lack of understanding or support from my family and friends.

i've become so different from the person i was when i first met my husband, and i wonder... will i ever be that fun and adventurous and not-so-bad-looking person again??

anyone out there that can relate?

hz

Totally!!!!!!!!!! I was also a different person for over a year, stopped talking to people,lost weight,sleep etc. I felt like my life was on hold and sometimes I'got really depressed and lonely, I turned into someone I didn't even know myself... and like many said even when the process is over I still haunted from those feelings, it was a total nightmare for me thank God is over now and my husband is here with me already but to be honest I'd say this was the worst time of my life and trying to adjust to my new life now and leave everything behind, all I can say is tho it was ALL WORTH IT!! I'll do it a thousand times if I have to just to be with my husband.

Abby

[Dr. Obvious 49]

Actually, everyone on this site can relate to the stresses of the immigration process. And, it doesn't end when they land on US soil. It's a never ending nightmare.

True. Even if you don't have to deal with AOS or ROC, there are other ways they get you. My husband applied for a Learner's Permit in November. Gee, it is March now and still nothing in the mail. We had to resubmit documentation a few weeks ago because they lost it and since then nothing. Grr, maybe the day we leave is the day it arrives.

Although my husband is here, there are many days where I wonder what I was thinking. That has to be the worst part of this process. Oh well.

[Niels Bohr 72]

Patience is a virtue.

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Actually, everyone on this site can relate to the stresses of the immigration process. And, it doesn't end when they land on US soil. It's a never ending nightmare.

Never-ending nightmare might be a bit strong (although I admire the despair inherent in the language!), but it is a frustrating and often lengthy process, that's for sure. My husband's case was not typical, but our AOS took over two years because of FBI namecheck; fortunately, we were together during the delay because the K1 was issued within a normal timeframe (about six months). But it still sucked, and as many people have said, it's the feeling of helplessness that is among the worst aspects of it. It can be difficult to find out what's happening with your case, the USCIS people are often surly and unhelpful, etc. But just about everyone on this site can relate to what you're saying. If the process were a breeze, this site wouldn't have so many members!

I'm sorry that you don't have support of family and friends. That sounds worse than dealing with the labyrinthine bureaucracy that is USCIS. There are lots of people on this board who are in the difficult situation of having unsupportive or uninterested family members.

Sorry, this ramble is supposed to be something resembling support. Once you and your man are together, things should seem much more doable! And processing seems to have improved significantly since we began our visa journey three years ago--and one would hope so, since they've jacked up the fees!

[*JG* 2]

Until naturalization, I stand my that statement.

[AlHayatZween 2]

Sorry, this ramble is supposed to be something resembling support.

Hahaha!

Of course you are making sense! And thank you and everyone for your support. This website has been amazingly helpful for me this past year.

Yes, i think the worst part is not being understood or supported by certain family members, and people who i thought were my friends. That has been the most shocking and hurtful part. The waiting and the bureacracy has been tough also, but i was somewhat better prepared (well.... somewhat!) for that.

i don't know what the answer is.... i just hope i can go back to my old, regular self soon... and have some fun again.

Thanks for the support and discussion!

hz

[ya falaha! 0]

Yep, yep.

We're planning on filing AOS soon (husband's been here nearly a year)...I anticipate more headaches with that. It's always something.

Actually, everyone on this site can relate to the stresses of the immigration process. And, it doesn't end when they land on US soil. It's a never ending nightmare.

True. Even if you don't have to deal with AOS or ROC, there are other ways they get you. My husband applied for a Learner's Permit in November. Gee, it is March now and still nothing in the mail. We had to resubmit documentation a few weeks ago because they lost it and since then nothing. Grr, maybe the day we leave is the day it arrives.

Although my husband is here, there are many days where I wonder what I was thinking. That has to be the worst part of this process. Oh well.

[panamania79 2]

Hi,

i've become a monster. The waiting and the stress has just turned me into someone i hardly know. i'm nervous and angry all the time, losing my hair. i feel like i've been living out of a suitcase since last June, since i haven't wanted to commit to a long-term apartment lease or even a long-term job contract because if Habibi gets denied, i will move to Morocco.

i don't think it is the waiting so much, but just the uncertainty of it all... and the lack of understanding or support from my family and friends.

i've become so different from the person i was when i first met my husband, and i wonder... will i ever be that fun and adventurous and not-so-bad-looking person again??

anyone out there that can relate?

hz

It sure has.It has lierally turned me into her.