Please Help-My Cousin married a U.S. Citizen. She came to U.S. to a Nightmare

[sj5 4]

People, please stop arguing about this problem. Its USCIS to decide for her. (dang I'm drama queen)

Edited February 9, 2008 by SJ

[Minya's wife 25]

People, please stop arguing about this problem. Its USCIS to decide for her. (dang I'm drama queen)

Actually, USCIS has nothing to decide for her at this point. The woman has her conditional green-card...she is done w/ immigration for now.

-P

[sj5 4]

People, please stop arguing about this problem. Its USCIS to decide for her. (dang I'm drama queen)

Actually, USCIS has nothing to decide for her at this point. The woman has her conditional green-card...she is done w/ immigration for now.

-P

You're right.

[tito 1]

"...if he is being accurately depicted..."

ABSOLUTELY! IF he's being accurately depicted. Otherwise, this is America...innocent until some proof of guilt. So - really - how bad is the person? We're tarring and feathering this person, but we're hearing things 3rd and 4th hand, and the information is not necessarily reliable. Talk about rushing to judgment!

There's a certain hypocrisy about some of these threads...no matter how far off center they keep going.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

Looks like she's been given abundantly sound advice. Avail herself of the processes for abused spouses, and self apply to remove restrictions. Then what?

This idea of entitlement is what sort of rubs me the wrong way...it's grab the brass ring, no matter what!

About the USC...his background would have been flagged if he was as bad as is being said. But if there are police reports, arrests and the like, and there is a fraud, then he'll come up on the radar once again if and when the OP's cousin starts the process.

Tito,

I disagree in this and other cases. While it might make more sense for an alien to return to his or her nativeland, that doesn't equate to whether they have a right to remain here. The genuine nature of the marriage is the barometer used in the statutes. There are really few requirements after that that would preclude an alien choosing to live in the USA. You are ignoring that which is articulated in the INA. I suppose, after a short-term marriage, presumably you determine that there is a lack of longevity to the marriage, in the case of an alien whose USC spouse has died abruptly, would you use the same rationale?

[tito 1]

It's an option that I, for one, think should be utilized more by the immigrant. If a marriage doesn't work out, the immigration was marriage-based, and there's been no green card issued, what IS the guarantee of a green card? Why IS there a sense of entitlement? While the bona fides of a marriage is the threshold inquiry, short of the green card, what options are available? Self-apply by virtue of abuse, whether actual or contrived? Just leave the spouse hanging, and then go after him or her for support?

One of the points I'm trying to make is that, if the immigrant feels as though he or she has given up so much to come here with the hopes of a wonderful married life, and the marriage falls apart for whatever reason, or the immigrant is disillusioned for whatever reason, what, really, did the immigrant give up? That life that they left a matter of months before is still there...the one they knew, the one they loved, the one they regretted leaving...it's an option for them to return!

In the case of a deceased spouse, the basis for the immigration is still intact. There's no question as to the bona fides of the ongoing, viable marriage that would support the immigration. In other circumstances, the immigrant finds that she's not too happy being married (for whatever reason), and still wants to stay and often will resort to doing or saying anything to secure the privilege of immigration, all the while complaining about everything they left behind in a sacrifice to come here. HOGWASH! What was left behind is still there and readily available to the immigrant. There is no entitlement to immigration just because they came over here to get married. There should be something to support the basis for immigration and permanent residency.

That's my view; that's my opinion; that's my question...agree or disagree.

[Mags 112]

All irrelevant posts have been made invisible. Please stay on topic, please.

[pushbrk 13,876]

In the case of a deceased spouse, the basis for the immigration is still intact. There's no question as to the bona fides of the ongoing, viable marriage that would support the immigration. In other circumstances, the immigrant finds that she's not too happy being married (for whatever reason), and still wants to stay and often will resort to doing or saying anything to secure the privilege of immigration, all the while complaining about everything they left behind in a sacrifice to come here. HOGWASH! What was left behind is still there and readily available to the immigrant. There is no entitlement to immigration just because they came over here to get married. There should be something to support the basis for immigration and permanent residency.

That's my view; that's my opinion; that's my question...agree or disagree.

Actually the decision to come to the USA and marry carries with it the intention to immigrate. As such, many do not have the life they left to go back to. They've left their jobs and homes, perhaps sold their belongings cheap, and perhaps burned bridges in their carreer.

Immigration was part of the deal.

[StillThePrettiest 4]

very succinct, and right on the money

[j4k 0]

And don't forget, OP, report your scamming layabout "friend" to SSI. They actively investigate all reports of scammers, and can, in time, pull his dead useless ### off the US government nipple.

AMEN! this guy is a leech to society...with fake disability...selling drugs that the state provides him to people on the street, living in low income housing practically rent free...this really pi$$es me off he is a low-life scumbag...if for some reason he were to be turned in and put away, what happens to her then? Getting him put away would be priority #1 in my book. He is a criminal, based on the information provided by the OP.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

It's an option that I, for one, think should be utilized more by the immigrant. If a marriage doesn't work out, the immigration was marriage-based, and there's been no green card issued, what IS the guarantee of a green card? Why IS there a sense of entitlement? While the bona fides of a marriage is the threshold inquiry, short of the green card, what options are available? Self-apply by virtue of abuse, whether actual or contrived? Just leave the spouse hanging, and then go after him or her for support?

One of the points I'm trying to make is that, if the immigrant feels as though he or she has given up so much to come here with the hopes of a wonderful married life, and the marriage falls apart for whatever reason, or the immigrant is disillusioned for whatever reason, what, really, did the immigrant give up? That life that they left a matter of months before is still there...the one they knew, the one they loved, the one they regretted leaving...it's an option for them to return!

In the case of a deceased spouse, the basis for the immigration is still intact. There's no question as to the bona fides of the ongoing, viable marriage that would support the immigration. In other circumstances, the immigrant finds that she's not too happy being married (for whatever reason), and still wants to stay and often will resort to doing or saying anything to secure the privilege of immigration, all the while complaining about everything they left behind in a sacrifice to come here. HOGWASH! What was left behind is still there and readily available to the immigrant. There is no entitlement to immigration just because they came over here to get married. There should be something to support the basis for immigration and permanent residency.

That's my view; that's my opinion; that's my question...agree or disagree.

This is an absurd answer. Firstly, the OP in this case has a conditional green card. So, your comment that an alien should consider the option of going home because no green card has been issued, simply doesn't apply here. Secondly, I fail to see the distinction you are attempting to make between a marriage that ends due to divorce and a marriage that ends due to the death of a petitioner in so far as this proposed "entitlement" that you suggest the alien does nnot and should not have.

Let's get some facts straight, as far as the INA goes, for starters. Yes, the alien's right to petition to reside in the USA is only available as a direct result of being married to a USC. If the alien is in a viable marriage at the time of the adjustment on status interview, short any other complications, the alien is awarded PR. If the marriage should end shortly thereafter, due to divorce, the alien can preserve his or her immigration process by demonstrating the bonafides of marriage, to include the couples intent on sharing a home and financial obligations as long as they were indeed married. As you know, in this country especially, many states have resorted to no-fault divorces. As such, how in goodness name are you, or any of us, going to be able to know who was at fault in the marriage breakdown? Was it the alien? Or was it due to some fault on the part of the USC? So, why, if the alien were not at fault should he or she suffer the additional burdern and ignominy of having to be shuffled out of here like a package. It's bad enough losing one's future dreams, in the event of a failed relationshiop, God knows what it would be like to face all of those emotional ups and downs and then have to also uproot and reroot elsewhere! Not that is doesn't happen, mind you...but it certainly should not be a requirement, unless the alien fails to demonstrate that the marriage was genuine.

But back to my point....you say that an alien married for only a short time to a USC that undergoes the horror of losing a spouse to a premature death should be handed PR because the marriage was 'ongoing and viable. Well, what of the alien, who unwittingly married the consummate philanderer who comes home one night with a new babe on his arm and decides to divorce the faithful alien? Wasn't she contributing to a viable and on-going union too?

Your reasoning, in my opinion, is faulty at best, or appears to be tailored to suit a personal agenda!

[tito 1]

The discussion went from the circumstances of the individual in this particular case, to the options available to others, and why returning home isn't an option. Yes, I concede that, with the green card, the option is to proceed to remove conditions. Short of having the green card, though, what is the basis for an 'entitlement' to immigration? That's the issue I'm raising...

No personal agenda except for the fact that I don't believe that anyone and everyone should be entitled to the privilege of immigrating to the US just because they got married. The system is abused repeatedly at the expense of others who want to and are trying to immigrate through other channels. There are many parts of this thread, and many comments from several posters, I am addressing. I concede that this is really much ado about nothing since the immigrant has her green card, but the issue still exists and is worthy of discussion if not.

There's an important "IF" you didn't highlight in what you quoted. The hypothetical is changed without it.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

The discussion went from the circumstances of the individual in this particular case, to the options available to others, and why returning home isn't an option. Yes, I concede that, with the green card, the option is to proceed to remove conditions. Short of having the green card, though, what is the basis for an 'entitlement' to immigration? That's the issue I'm raising...

No personal agenda except for the fact that I don't believe that anyone and everyone should be entitled to the privilege of immigrating to the US just because they got married. The system is abused repeatedly at the expense of others who want to and are trying to immigrate through other channels. There are many parts of this thread, and many comments from several posters, I am addressing. I concede that this is really much ado about nothing since the immigrant has her green card, but the issue still exists and is worthy of discussion if not.

There's an important "IF" you didn't highlight in what you quoted. The hypothetical is changed without it.

You're right, it does appear to be much ado about nothing, because as far as I can see, the issue you are raising simply doesn't exist and I don't suspect many members here are suggesting that every alien has this right or "entitlement". If the alien has not yet received a green card, and the marriage fails, there are few, if any, options. If, as you say, there is an "entitlement" that simply wouldn't be the case, would it? The entitlement does not exist, EXCEPT in the case of an alien that is abused and can demonstrate it to the satisfaction of the Service.

[tito 1]

Not altogether the sense I get. It appears TO ME that there IS some sense of entitlement simply by virtue of the fact that an immigrant marries a USC (the conclusion based on a number of threads in this particular forum). When the issue is, 'how do I stay here when things don't work out' or 'how do I adjust status when things don't work out' it would depend on the circumstances. If the situation is such that a green card has been issued, then there are ways. If not, then the notion of entitlement to those who are willing to say and do anything to get a green card runs afoul to my sense of fairness and equity. What say does the USC have in any of this? Plus - the issue is compounded when the proposed immigrant complains about how they left so much behind, and how much they miss their place of origin. If that is the case, then what is the problem with the option of returning home?

I trust that clarifies the issue a bit better. Again, a lot of concepts are being thrown out and if you pick and choose you can write your own conclusion. But this is the issue I started with, although I did not understand that the green card had already been issued until later in the thread.

[zqt3344 21]

Let me see, you knew this guy the Roidian drug dealing ex body builder with a stormy personal life was bad news, yet you brought him along with you to your wife's country as your running mate? What or why were you having anything to do with this type of criminal anyway in the first place? Based on how you describe this friend of yours the ex body builder what were you thinking or why are you hanging out with someone like that? Does not add up or make a whole lot of sense at all. Now you develop this sudden moral caring conscience and need advice for this poor woman from another country and want to help her? Well why don't you and your wife help buy her a plane ticket home so she can go back to a safe and normal home again, why is this so hard for you to figure out? Why would she even want to stay in the USA or why would you want her to stay in the USA after her experience? This whole thing makes little or not much sense at all. Best of luck to you.

Hi Everyone,

Its been a long time since I posted and I sure wish it was for something else rather than what I am going to be telling you.

I myself married a filipino woman. On my first trip to the Philippines to meet my then fience, I had (at the time) a friend go with me. He is an ex body builder and I thought what better person to have with me going to a country I really knew nothing about. Anyway! He met my now wifes cousin while we were their. To make a long story short- they ended up getting married.. I dreaded the thought of this marriage because I knew this guy was not marrying material. He had been divorced 3 times and has 6 kids from 4 different woman. All of his divorces were a result of his mental and physical abuse. He has a criminal record 4 pages long. He fakes a old back injury so he can collect SSI and he sells his narcotic prescription drugs on the street for and added $2,500 per month income. I know this is true because he has told me this on several occasions (while laughing). We both live in the same small town and I have also talked to several people that have confirmed what he told me,not to mention all of the other cash work and scams he has going on. How else does someone who is on disability own a 2004 full size deisal 4X4(loaded), two 2000 plus cars that are decked out and in storage during the winter, 2 really nice fully dressed motorcycles, plus 4 wheelers,dirtbikes, and riding lawnmowers, tools up the yahoo-a HUGE BIG SCREEN TV, the list goes on and on. Plus he lives in a low income housing home that basis his rent on his disability income , so he only pays about 100$ per month for rent. Plus gets state supplied health insurance. Get this-the state pays for his prescription drugs and he sells them for cash. He told me this, and yes, he was laughing about this also! So anyway-now that you have an idea what kid of person this is. I will continue about the real issue at hand.

I pleaded with my family to convince my wifes cousin not to marry this man, but he smooth talked them and they all believed he was a good guy. The marriage took place and she arrived in the U.S. December 23rd,2007

It wasnt even a week and her hell on earth began. She is not allowed phone calls past 10PM, she is not allowed to have any money, cannot contact her family in the Philippines because it is 13 Hours difference in time so by the time her family can get out of the mountains and into a town where there is phone and internet it is past 10 PM here in Wisconsin ans she isnt aallowed on phone past 10PM. He told my wife on the phone that she (his wife) has the same rules and regulations that his children have. When they go shopping she is not allowed to get any food for her self, she has to eat what he buys for his kids. She isnt allowed to have a key to the house and if on the rare occasion he has let her leave she is suppose to be home by 6PM. Thank God she is at least able to come to our house sometimes. The only reason I think is because we live only 2 blocks away from them. It was 30 below zero last week and he made her walk to our house. If she wants to come to our house she has to walk. Im at work so I cant pick her up and my wife doesnt drive yet. She was an hour late one night and he really let her have it. Imagine a 300 pound ex body builder hovering over a 90 pound filipino girl screaming at her and threating her to send her back to the philippines. We dont know what all took place that night because when she talks about that night in particular, she is really short worded and changes the subject right away. Right now he wont even talk to her. She was at our house again today and that is what she said. Im worried he is going to blow up soon because she has come to our house 3 days in a row.

What can this girl do? She wants to leave him but he has her convinced that he can have her deported and she doesnt know what to do. She is here on a CR1 Visa and does have here conditional green card allready. She needs some help and I just dont know what to do or who to contact. This guy is dangerous. I wouldnt put anything past him. If she leaves I just dont know what he will do. One of the charges on his criminal record stemmed from a initial charge of attempted murder. That was just from a guy that tailgated him and then passed him on the road.He ran the guy off the road and eat the living snot out him until he was almost dead. His brothers stopped the attack or else he would have killed the man(just for passing him), what is he going to do if this girl leaves him????

PLEASE PLEASE HELP, can someone point me in the right direction. Her whole world was turned upside down when she left the Philippines, she does not want to go back and she shouldnt have to just because this guy lied to her and her family and led them to believe she would be taken care of here in the U.S.