Fiancéé is pregnant.. what can I do now?

[Krikit 1,163]

Shoulda kept it in your pants until you got married - or at least wrapped that willy! Being knocked up is not going to provide any kind of 'edge' as far as the immigration process goes.

Recommend stay in Canada - use the public benefits - or, get an abortion now and then get knocked up again once she is in the US and you are married - after you've added her to health insurance.

Seems a little harsh.

I was rather disgusted by the post, which is why I reported it several hours ago. Some people have no sense of decorum.

[Captain Ewok 1,857]

So I found out this morning that my Canadian fiancéé is pregnant. This is wonderful news for us both and we're very happy, but.. I cannot add her to my health insurance I have through my work until we are married, and if we don't add her soon, they will consider it a pre-existing condition and not cover any expenses until the child is born.

Shoulda kept it in your pants until you got married - or at least wrapped that willy! Being knocked up is not going to provide any kind of 'edge' as far as the immigration process goes.

Recommend stay in Canada - use the public benefits - or, get an abortion now and then get knocked up again once she is in the US and you are married - after you've added her to health insurance.

Good luck!

akdiver

ok Ak that is a bit harsh I agree (with the other members). Please lets be more respectful of others. Thank you .

[BexandAlan 0]

Recommend stay in Canada - use the public benefits - or, get an abortion now and then get knocked up again once she is in the US and you are married - after you've added her to health insurance.

Very tactless. I personally find your reply disrespectful and very offensive. Please be more considerate. Of course we all have a right to voice our opinions on this public forum. However I find your comments irresponsible for that very reason. People come here for help and advice in many cases when they are at the lowest and most desperate points in their lives. I would hate to think that this is the kind of advice some may be receiving. Totally unhelpful.

[Lisax 0]

So I found out this morning that my Canadian fiancéé is pregnant. This is wonderful news for us both and we're very happy, but.. I cannot add her to my health insurance I have through my work until we are married, and if we don't add her soon, they will consider it a pre-existing condition and not cover any expenses until the child is born.

Shoulda kept it in your pants until you got married - or at least wrapped that willy! Being knocked up is not going to provide any kind of 'edge' as far as the immigration process goes.

Recommend stay in Canada - use the public benefits - or, get an abortion now and then get knocked up again once she is in the US and you are married - after you've added her to health insurance.

Good luck!

akdiver

[warriorprincess 0]

Congrats to you and your finacee. A baby is a blessing. I hope that the two of you will be together before the baby is born.

[akdiver 3]

Blah blah....practical advice is what it is. If you don't find it useful for solving your problem - then don't implement it - but don't ask for advice and then complain when you get it.

[VisaJourneyLady 33]

Blah blah....practical advice is what it is. If you don't find it useful for solving your problem - then don't implement it - but don't ask for advice and then complain when you get it.

Practical advice would be to tell the couple where there is an affordable private option, a health care policy that would cover them, or at the very least reading their post, and giving relavent information (Gretchen is NOT from Canada, that was the OP, they have resolved their issue)

The offence was caused because you were trying to solve the pregnancy - and in a way that I personally find very callous and pretty disgusting - the pregnancy is not the problem, the problem is with their healthcare situation. It is my reading that Chris and Gretchen are happy that she is pregnant.

[akdiver 3]

The offence was caused because you were trying to solve the pregnancy - and in a way that I personally find very callous and pretty disgusting - the pregnancy is not the problem, the problem is with their healthcare situation.

The problem stated is being pregnant without health insurance. I offered three very valid solutions to this problem:

a). Don't have sex w/o health insurance. Hard to get pregnant when one is not having sex.

B). If you're going to have sex w/o health insurance, then use protection. Not a perfect solution, but goes a long way to avoid the problem stated.

c). If, despite best efforts, one gets pregnant ANYWAY, then simply terminate the pregnancy. It's a lot cheaper to do without health insurance than having a baby, that's for sure. Plenty of time to get pregnant again, once one secures health insurance.

Practical people. Gotta be practical.

[BexandAlan 0]

I offered three very valid solutions to this problem:

a). Don't have sex w/o health insurance. Hard to get pregnant when one is not having sex.

B). If you're going to have sex w/o health insurance, then use protection. Not a perfect solution, but goes a long way to avoid the problem stated.

c). If, despite best efforts, one gets pregnant ANYWAY, then simply terminate the pregnancy. It's a lot cheaper to do without health insurance than having a baby, that's for sure. Plenty of time to get pregnant again, once one secures health insurance.

Practical people. Gotta be practical.

Well congratulations on having your say. Your views are inappropriate in terms of this discussion and as many people have highlighted they find them both vile and inconsiderate. Maybe you will have the courtesy to recognize that your views have been noted but are not welcome on this topic any more and leave it at that rather than pursuing something which is emotionally charged and unnecessarily upsetting other members.

Thank You

Bex

[mnieto 2]

c). If, despite best efforts, one gets pregnant ANYWAY, then simply terminate the pregnancy. It's a lot cheaper to do without health insurance than having a baby, that's for sure. Plenty of time to get pregnant again, once one secures health insurance.

Practical people. Gotta be practical.

What an attitude towards life. I feel sorry for you and your practical lifestyle. Good luck...

[akdiver 3]

Well congratulations on having your say. Your views are inappropriate in terms of this discussion and as many people have highlighted they find them both vile and inconsiderate. Maybe you will have the courtesy to recognize that your views have been noted but are not welcome on this topic any more and leave it at that rather than pursuing something which is emotionally charged and unnecessarily upsetting other members.

Gee, thanks mom.

It is interesting how so many people can consider the problem of being pregnant with no health insurance and only offer solutions for the health insurance part of the problem - completely ignoring the fact that the issue can ALSO be addressed with respect to the pregnancy part of the problem.

Edited May 19, 2008 by akdiver

[Ovaltine Jenkins 5]

Well I didn´t have a clue how useless the U.S. health insurance system is before I got here. Such a thing that happened to Chris and Gretchen would never happen to them in my country cuz there is no such a thing like being uncoverable. I feel for them In U.S. you can even have insurance for something and later on you can find out that specific thing you needed your insurance to cover has been removed from your health coverage by the insurance company. Just like that.

They obviously weren´t looking for your don´t have sex before marriage advice since they are married. They were looking for an insurance that would cover them and the pregnancy. Abortion isn´t a name of a health insurance plan at any company so that´s not an advice you should be giving either. Having a baby is a blessing and abortion isn´t an option for many people. When the parents don´t even consider something like that, you shouldn´t be even mentioning it. It pretty much shows what kind of a person you are.

Hopefully Chris and Gretchen will still be able to find some health insurance, that will cover them And Congratulations guys I know you are excited about having a baby together

[chris4gretchen 1]

Well I didn´t have a clue how useless the U.S. health insurance system is before I got here. Such a thing that happened to Chris and Gretchen would never happen to them in my country cuz there is no such a thing like being uncoverable. I feel for them In U.S. you can even have insurance for something and later on you can find out that specific thing you needed your insurance to cover has been removed from your health coverage by the insurance company. Just like that.

They obviously weren´t looking for your don´t have sex before marriage advice since they are married. They were looking for an insurance that would cover them and the pregnancy. Abortion isn´t a name of a health insurance plan at any company so that´s not an advice you should be giving either. Having a baby is a blessing and abortion isn´t an option for many people. When the parents don´t even consider something like that, you shouldn´t be even mentioning it. It pretty much shows what kind of a person you are.

Hopefully Chris and Gretchen will still be able to find some health insurance, that will cover them And Congratulations guys I know you are excited about having a baby together

Hi, we are still very excited to have a baby.

First alot of the insurance companies wouldnt insure Gretchen because she hadnt been in the USA for 11 of the last 12 months. Almost all did not offer ANY maternity icoverage. And i couldnt get it for me and her until we were married. She arrived in USA March 16th and we got married May 8th. we found out we were preggy about 4 days before we got married. I became self employed just last year and didnt have health insurance for the past year. I figured i would get it for us both as soon as we got married and even if i had it , it would have been an individual policy which means there is every loophole in the book for the insurance company to not cover anything. It seems group insurance is the way to go.

I have since learned that most just pay the pregnancy costs out of pocket so that is what we will do. i am told its $4000-$8000 for a normal pregnancy and up to $20,000 for a complicated one. There are two hopsitals that have cash programs to pay it and we will do one of them. I am hoping to get group insurance with my business in the next few months and then we will have insurance, but nothing will be covered on the pregnancy.

Chris

[shadtov 0]

Well I didn´t have a clue how useless the U.S. health insurance system is before I got here. Such a thing that happened to Chris and Gretchen would never happen to them in my country cuz there is no such a thing like being uncoverable. I feel for them In U.S. you can even have insurance for something and later on you can find out that specific thing you needed your insurance to cover has been removed from your health coverage by the insurance company. Just like that.

They obviously weren´t looking for your don´t have sex before marriage advice since they are married. They were looking for an insurance that would cover them and the pregnancy. Abortion isn´t a name of a health insurance plan at any company so that´s not an advice you should be giving either. Having a baby is a blessing and abortion isn´t an option for many people. When the parents don´t even consider something like that, you shouldn´t be even mentioning it. It pretty much shows what kind of a person you are.

Hopefully Chris and Gretchen will still be able to find some health insurance, that will cover them And Congratulations guys I know you are excited about having a baby together

Hi, we are still very excited to have a baby.

First alot of the insurance companies wouldnt insure Gretchen because she hadnt been in the USA for 11 of the last 12 months. Almost all did not offer ANY maternity icoverage. And i couldnt get it for me and her until we were married. She arrived in USA March 16th and we got married May 8th. we found out we were preggy about 4 days before we got married. I became self employed just last year and didnt have health insurance for the past year. I figured i would get it for us both as soon as we got married and even if i had it , it would have been an individual policy which means there is every loophole in the book for the insurance company to not cover anything. It seems group insurance is the way to go.

I have since learned that most just pay the pregnancy costs out of pocket so that is what we will do. i am told its $4000-$8000 for a normal pregnancy and up to $20,000 for a complicated one. There are two hopsitals that have cash programs to pay it and we will do one of them. I am hoping to get group insurance with my business in the next few months and then we will have insurance, but nothing will be covered on the pregnancy.

Chris

Make sure to apply for the discounted price, if the hospital offers one.

Also, I know it would be quite stressful, but you could take a part-time (20 hrs/wk) job at a place that offers insurance for part-time workers, like Starbucks. UPS does too, but that's quite a bit of heavy lifting. I know there are others out there. They would cover both you and your wife.

Another option is to look into a state program that covers pregnant woman, no matter their status. However, as you filed the Affidavit of support... that might only be worth it if you guys were really desperate and couldn't cover the private costs.

I hope her pregnancy will be smooth and easy. wishing you well.

[Bassi and Zainab 1]

So I found out this morning that my Canadian fiancéé is pregnant. This is wonderful news for us both and we're very happy, but.. I cannot add her to my health insurance I have through my work until we are married, and if we don't add her soon, they will consider it a pre-existing condition and not cover any expenses until the child is born.

Shoulda kept it in your pants until you got married - or at least wrapped that willy! Being knocked up is not going to provide any kind of 'edge' as far as the immigration process goes.

Recommend stay in Canada - use the public benefits - or, get an abortion now and then get knocked up again once she is in the US and you are married - after you've added her to health insurance.

Good luck!

akdiver

You've got to be kidding.