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irene

Good Husband even the woman doesnt realize

Good Husband  

53 members have voted

  1. 1. If your wife told you that if she wanted to buy something and u don?t have the right to ask anything about it, would you?

    • be insulted because the wife does not consider u as an equal partner and as such dont have the right to ask anything
      30
    • be ok with not being able to ask her anything
      11
    • take control of the budget to prevent future misunderstandings
      12


109 posts in this topic

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The reason I opened this poll is because my and I are having a misunderstanding. She asked me what would I do if she wanted to buy something, would I just let her buy whatever she wants without question or would I ask her for more information. I answered, if its for material goods then I should be able to ask you about it. I said cuz if were short on budget, then it would not make since to buy $200 shoes. She got upset and now she saying that she will not spend any of my money. She also saying that she cant put her trust in me now, she doesn’t realize the fact that I was shocked because she said I don’t have the right to say anything.

I already put her in total control of the finances, because I know this would make her happy. She has 3 kids and Im doing my best to support us and give us all a comfortable life on the salary I make. I was kinda shocked that she asked me a question like that because I trust that she is mature and dependable. I never spend money on myself, because I would feel guilty and like I was taking away from the family as a whole. I would always ask her before I buy something for myself. I also tried to explain that material goods should not be important because if u spend 200 on shoes or dress 6 months later that 200 is going to be forgotten

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My husband and I go round and round about this. It's not about spending the money, it's about fitting it into the budget with us. It is definately and ongoing learning process.


Life's just a crazy ride on a run away train

You can't go back for what you've missed

So make it count, hold on tight find a way to make it right

You only get one trip

So make it good, make it last 'cause it all flies by so fast

You only get one trip

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My husband and I have separate bank accounts. We decided what bills each of us was responsible for, but as long as those are paid neither of us has any right to ask the other what they are spending their money on. He can buy basses and I can go for my spa stuff with peace of mind!

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My husband and I go round and round about this. It's not about spending the money, it's about fitting it into the budget with us. It is definately and ongoing learning process.

We're the same way. Neil always wants money in his pocket even if he isn't going to spend it on something. He gets mad when we don't have money to buy him really expensive things but he spends lots of money on small things like beer. I try to say if you drink less you may have more money for things that you want that are more expensive. He doesn't understand having to budget but I offered to let him be in control and he wants nothing to do with it. So I will continue to be the mean one and say no to things like a ps3 and new shoes (he just got 3 new pairs last month).

Edited by Amber&Neil

Life is a ticket to the greatest show on earth.

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I would take control of the budget to prevent future misunderstandings :devil::devil::devil:

I am the appointed financial officer in our household (well, both me & him appointed me). I think it is because when it comes to self control, we think I am better :devil:

But for purchases, we are discussing it together, especially for big ticket items. Big boys toys are expensive.


I-130

Jun 28 2004 : Received at NSC

Oct 25 2004 : Transferred to CSC

Oct 29 2004 : Received at CSC

Nov 8 2004 : Received response from CSC that my file is being requested & review will be done

Nov 10 2004 : Email & online status Approved

Nov 15 2004 : NOA 2 in mail

Dec 16 2004 : NVC assigns case number

Dec 20 2004 : NVC sent DS 3032 to beneficiary, copy of DS 3032 & I-864 fee bill to petitioner

Jan 3 2005 : Petitioner received copy of DS 3032 and I-864 fee bill. Post-marked Dec 23rd.

Jan 11 2005 : Beneficiary received DS 3032 in Indonesia

Jan 31 2005 : Sent DS 3032 to NVC

Feb 8, 2005 : NVC received DS 3032

Feb 21, 2005 : IV fee generated

Feb 25, 2005 : Sent I-864 fee bill

Feb 28, 2005 : I-864 fee bill delivered to St Louis

Mar 3, 2005 : IV fee bill received

Mar 7, 2005 : Sent IV fee bill

Mar 9, 2005 : IV fee bill delivered to St Louis

Mar 28, 2005 : I-864 fee credited against case.

April 6, 2005 : Received I-864 package

April 7, 2005 : Immigrant Visa fee credited against case.

April 11, 2005 : DS 230 is generated

Aug 12, 2005 : I-864 & DS 230 received by NVC

Sep 14, 2005 : RFE on I-864

Nov 3, 2005 : Checklist response received at NVC

Nov 25, 2005 : Case completion

Dec 9, 2005 : Police Cert requested from the Netherlands

Jan 12 2006 : Interview success - Approved !!

Jan 19 2006 : Visa & brown envelope picked up

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My husband got this crazy idea right before Christmas that we needed a 53" screen T.V. It was on sale for "only $700.00." :rolleyes: Then he tried to rationilize that the T.V was for me! :huh: I rarely watch T.V so I had to laugh at that. So I told him if he got HIS T.V, then could I get the tread climber I've been wanting. Shut him up real quick! :lol:

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taking control of the budget is not really an option to me. I know my wife wants to be in charge of it so I dont have problem with it. The thing that really bothered me is that I wont buy anything for myself no matter how big or how small, because I am the type to sacrifice myself for those I love. I guess it just took me by surprise cuz the way my wife phrased the question "if I want to buy something would u ask me any question or just let me do whatever I want". It sounded like I have no say so in the house, and she has gotten into a habit of telling me to shut up lately. It just made her sound really shallow and way different from the person I trusted her to be. She says the only way I can keep her from divorcing or fighting with me is if I will always agree 100% with all that she says and does.

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If your wife wants to buy something, let her buy it. No questions asked.

Put yourself in her shoes. Do you run all your purchasing decisions by her as well?

We do. Small ticket no, big ticket yes.


I-130

Jun 28 2004 : Received at NSC

Oct 25 2004 : Transferred to CSC

Oct 29 2004 : Received at CSC

Nov 8 2004 : Received response from CSC that my file is being requested & review will be done

Nov 10 2004 : Email & online status Approved

Nov 15 2004 : NOA 2 in mail

Dec 16 2004 : NVC assigns case number

Dec 20 2004 : NVC sent DS 3032 to beneficiary, copy of DS 3032 & I-864 fee bill to petitioner

Jan 3 2005 : Petitioner received copy of DS 3032 and I-864 fee bill. Post-marked Dec 23rd.

Jan 11 2005 : Beneficiary received DS 3032 in Indonesia

Jan 31 2005 : Sent DS 3032 to NVC

Feb 8, 2005 : NVC received DS 3032

Feb 21, 2005 : IV fee generated

Feb 25, 2005 : Sent I-864 fee bill

Feb 28, 2005 : I-864 fee bill delivered to St Louis

Mar 3, 2005 : IV fee bill received

Mar 7, 2005 : Sent IV fee bill

Mar 9, 2005 : IV fee bill delivered to St Louis

Mar 28, 2005 : I-864 fee credited against case.

April 6, 2005 : Received I-864 package

April 7, 2005 : Immigrant Visa fee credited against case.

April 11, 2005 : DS 230 is generated

Aug 12, 2005 : I-864 & DS 230 received by NVC

Sep 14, 2005 : RFE on I-864

Nov 3, 2005 : Checklist response received at NVC

Nov 25, 2005 : Case completion

Dec 9, 2005 : Police Cert requested from the Netherlands

Jan 12 2006 : Interview success - Approved !!

Jan 19 2006 : Visa & brown envelope picked up

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If you feel like you are making the sacrifice of not buying and you are upset that she is not doing that too, you need to talk to her. There has to be compromise.

She says the only way I can keep her from divorcing or fighting with me is if I will always agree 100% with all that she says and does.

In all aspects of life?


I-130

Jun 28 2004 : Received at NSC

Oct 25 2004 : Transferred to CSC

Oct 29 2004 : Received at CSC

Nov 8 2004 : Received response from CSC that my file is being requested & review will be done

Nov 10 2004 : Email & online status Approved

Nov 15 2004 : NOA 2 in mail

Dec 16 2004 : NVC assigns case number

Dec 20 2004 : NVC sent DS 3032 to beneficiary, copy of DS 3032 & I-864 fee bill to petitioner

Jan 3 2005 : Petitioner received copy of DS 3032 and I-864 fee bill. Post-marked Dec 23rd.

Jan 11 2005 : Beneficiary received DS 3032 in Indonesia

Jan 31 2005 : Sent DS 3032 to NVC

Feb 8, 2005 : NVC received DS 3032

Feb 21, 2005 : IV fee generated

Feb 25, 2005 : Sent I-864 fee bill

Feb 28, 2005 : I-864 fee bill delivered to St Louis

Mar 3, 2005 : IV fee bill received

Mar 7, 2005 : Sent IV fee bill

Mar 9, 2005 : IV fee bill delivered to St Louis

Mar 28, 2005 : I-864 fee credited against case.

April 6, 2005 : Received I-864 package

April 7, 2005 : Immigrant Visa fee credited against case.

April 11, 2005 : DS 230 is generated

Aug 12, 2005 : I-864 & DS 230 received by NVC

Sep 14, 2005 : RFE on I-864

Nov 3, 2005 : Checklist response received at NVC

Nov 25, 2005 : Case completion

Dec 9, 2005 : Police Cert requested from the Netherlands

Jan 12 2006 : Interview success - Approved !!

Jan 19 2006 : Visa & brown envelope picked up

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If I buy anything yes, but I never buy anything. Again the issue is not the money, as all my money goes to them already. Its the fact that I am not allowed to have a voice in the house.

Well... speak up. To her, not on VJ. You know what you have to do.


Man is made by his belief. As he believes, so he is.

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