Changing your name to your father in law first name

[polarbear 0]

I took my husbands last name (the family name) It is not his dads first name nor his grandfathers first name. And doing this has made my husband so happy. And I just wouldn't feel right not taking my husbands family name.

Same here.... besides, not to attatched to the name of my biological father I dont' remember living with and only visited on holidays

[doodlebugg 10]

my husband has five names, his, his father's, his grandfather's, his greatgrandfather's and the family name, "elXXXX".

While in Egypt for sure he goes by Usama xxxx(his father's name), but on all applications for the visa it is Usama "elxxx" and that is how it will be when he gets here and I will change my name to Bridget "elxxx". The "elxxx" is not my father in law's name whatsoever.

[caybee 21]

My husband's family are Amazigh and don't follow the custom the OP mentioned. My husband has only his given name and family name. In fact, his mom's family name is the same as his dad's because they are distant cousins. I thought about putting my maiden name as my middle name, but my name would have been too long to fit on one line of my license, so I took my husband's last name. I'm happy with this choice.

[MelindaandTarek 0]

I took my husbands last name (the family name) It is not his dads first name nor his grandfathers first name. And doing this has made my husband so happy. And I just wouldn't feel right not taking my husbands family name.

Same here.... besides, not to attatched to the name of my biological father I dont' remember living with and only visited on holidays

Same here as well...Tarek has his name his Dads first name, his grandfathers name and then his family name and that is what I shall change mine too as well..the family name that is......

[NancyB 0]

I'm usually not the most patriotic person you'll meet I simply state that to reinforce the notion of choice. You did post

"I would just like to know if you ladies knew that you were changing your last names to your FATHER IN LAWS first name?

I hope NO Muslim sister is doing this, because we know the reasons. How many people have ever explain to none Muslim women how naming is done? why we don't change our names to our husbands, and how important this is to documenting children lineage."

Hmmm pretty blatant attack for someone who really didn't do her research on naming traditions in so much that she claims that all Muslims name in such a way. It might be the case for your SO but it's not as common in the rest of the Muslim world. Great that you enjoy the lineage aspect but there's plenty of us that know our lineage and our husband's and not due to the fact we have 5 names detailing the last 5 relatives... It's really more of an Arab tradition than a truly Islamic one, as many Arab Christians in Syria, Lebanon etc follow the same naming pattern.

Mrs Amera I didn't mean to offend you at all. I got this statement from the Quran okay. Here read for yourself.

"Call them after their fathers. That is most just in the sight of Allah. If you know not their fathers, then call them your brothers in faith and your patrons. There is no blame on you if you make a mistake but you are accountable for what is done intentionally. Allah is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful." [Qur'an 33:5]

If he has no patron, then he can relate his name to his country or city and add his kunia, or nickname, to it. A lot of prominent Muslim scholars have done this in the past. The name can be for example, Abu Muhammad (nickname), Ali (his name) al-Canadi (the Canadian), or al-Ameriky (the American), or al-Britany (the British), so on and so forth.

It is reported in a hadith that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "You will be called on the Day of Resurrection by your names and the names of your fathers, so have good names." (Reported by Abu Dawud)

Some people didn't know this information. I just thought I would share that's all. I won't argue Quran and Hadith to a Muslim ever, because you either accept or dont accept no matter what country you live in.

Also ladies, not all people have their fathers first name, some have their Grand fathers names, some have their countries of origins. Its to establish lineage.

[MrsAmera 41]

I think that the quote from the Qur'an also says "If you know not their fathers, then call them your brothers in faith and your patrons." That could be interpreted as a reason TO take your husband's name. I don't want to argue this either but your point still lacks the fact that most North, West and East African Muslims, as well as South Asian Muslims have names that in no way relate to their family place or lineage. The translation of my husband's last name is pious. Not a place, not a lineage name. I think it's an interesting point about the names but it's really not standard.

[brnidokiegurl 0]

I took the family name, ahmed only has 2 names but in MOrocco his mom carries her families name and now his sister who married still retained her families name. He felt very honored i did the change.

[doodlebugg 10]

[Ban Hammer 12,836]

my husband has five names, his, his father's, his grandfather's, his greatgrandfather's and the family name, "elXXXX".

While in Egypt for sure he goes by Usama xxxx(his father's name), but on all applications for the visa it is Usama "elxxx" and that is how it will be when he gets here and I will change my name to Bridget "elxxx". The "elxxx" is not my father in law's name whatsoever.

that could make check writing real interesting

[ayesha4akram 0]

He was surprised when i told him, if we have a baby insha Allah, the last name would be his, and mine . But anyway, while we were making the paperwork, I told him, we have to put you family name to use as the last name. And he asked me, what about my other names?

After discussing everything, he finally said, I'm not giving up my father and grandfather's name, no matter where i live! Let's put them BOTH on my middle name. So in the papers it's His name/fathergrandfather name/ family name. Although his names are easy for me to pronounce one at a time, it was a tongue twister for me when first calling DOS!

I also asked him if it would be offensive if I took his family name for my last name, and he said it was no problem, and everyone seemed very proud and happy that "lil ole me" wanted to use their family name.

Hugs,

Ayesha

[myheartwillgoon 0]

I think we might have messed up. On the I 130 we put first name.. Amr.. 2nd name( his dads name) and the as last name his grandfathers, there wasnt room to keep going with the names so thats how we put it on the application. Now he has gone to get his passport and its 4 names long soooooo now he is filling out his paperwork for the K3 packet. What does he put,... it wont match what i put on the I 130 if he matches everything with his passport. It asks for a tribal name and he thinks his 5th name is the tribal name ... does he put that ???? I hope we are NOT getting ready to mess up our paperwork. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ayesha4akram 0]

I think we might have messed up. On the I 130 we put first name.. Amr.. 2nd name( his dads name) and the as last name his grandfathers, there wasnt room to keep going with the names so thats how we put it on the application. Now he has gone to get his passport and its 4 names long soooooo now he is filling out his paperwork for the K3 packet. What does he put,... it wont match what i put on the I 130 if he matches everything with his passport. It asks for a tribal name and he thinks his 5th name is the tribal name ... does he put that ???? I hope we are NOT getting ready to mess up our paperwork. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The tribal name is what we used for the last name. If he doesn't know it, can he ask his father? Someone in the family should know this info. insha Allah.

Like Bridget said, mine too has as family name (tribal name) "ElXXXXXX". you can check for that.

I think others can give you better advice on this subject.

Hugs,

Ayesha

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

There are some Islamic schools of interpretation that frown on the idea of a wife changing her surname. But many (if not most) others do not -- it is the woman's choice: not required but also not forbidden.

The whole point is for Muslims not to misrepresent themselves as the son or daughter of someone other than their real biological father.

But if a culture (like many Western ones) recognizes that wives often take a husband's surname upon marriage, then it is not misleading or misrepresenting one's lineage to do so -- a wife who shares her husband's surname is understood not to be *biologically* related to his family.

In fact, in the west, this kind of name change is generally understood to represent "the wife of so-and-so."

To change one's name upon marriage is a cultural tradition, outside of Islam. It became common in the West, not so much in the MENA world.

But, as usual, Islam (or at least most interpretations of it) gives women the right to decide for themselves.

My husband's family was also very honored that I took their family name -- they were surprised, as it is not their custom, but they were delighted with the idea. My father-in-law is sheikh -- he is known all over the West Bank and in Arab Israel -- and he would never give his blessing to anything against Islam.

Always keep in mind that local traditions about a lot of things vary greatly throughout MENA. What is considered "unacceptable" in one community in Cairo may not even raise an eyebrow just a few hundred miles away in the West Bank, and vice versa.

[jeanie 0]

I plan on changing my name when I marry Osiris. I did not change my last name for my first marriage...it was a point of contention...sometimes I wonder why I'm willing to do it now, but not then. I think it really irks my ex! And even to me it does sort of make him seem less important I guess. What do you think that says?

[doodlebugg 10]

I plan on changing my name when I marry Osiris. I did not change my last name for my first marriage...it was a point of contention...sometimes I wonder why I'm willing to do it now, but not then. I think it really irks my ex! And even to me it does sort of make him seem less important I guess. What do you think that says?

Well he's your ex for a reason right? Just move on and change your name. Does your fiance have any issues with your taking his family name? Mine was honored and when I mentioned that perhaps it isn't supposed to be done per Islam he asked a few knowledgeable people in his area and no one even mentioned that it should not be done.