Terrible situation; any hope for us??

[glinda123 2]

Hello VJ members. I'm just sick over what has happened with us and wonder if anyone has any advice or recommendations. I suspect we are really unable to fix this scenario. It's taken me almost 2 weeks to be able to even post as I've been so upset. Anyway, the story is that my fiance came to the USA in July 2013 on the K-1 visa. We married in August and he received his EAD (employment authorization) and we then applied for the I-485. (Adjustment of status) At the time I did the paperwork, I did not (stupidly) apply for the I-131, authorization to leave the USA prior to getting the green card. (BIG mistake). All was going ok. He received his social security number and his driver's license. We received a notice from immigration stateing that he was eligible for waiver of interview but that since they are so backed up, no decision would be made for up to 6 months. Then he received a call from home (Costa Rica) that his mother was close to death. I made an appointment for him to go to an Info-Pass to talk to an officer and try to get permission to leave. They couldn't see him for 4 days. However, within that time, he received more calls that the mother was dying and he had to leave IMMEDIATELY if he wished to see her. I freaked out and said if he left, that we would divorce...that he couldn't leave without permission. (I know, I know...not nice). Well bottom line is, he LEFT. OMG. And in a stupid knee jerk reaction, I wrote immigration and said he left, that we would divorce and to stop processing the AOS. (please don't berate me for doing this; I was emotional, stupid and clearly out of my mind.) I didn't mail the letter until after his plane left. Two days later, I wrote immigration again, begging them to disregard earlier letter, that I loved him and was there anyway to get him BACK to the USA?!?!!? I enclosed the copy of the I-131 asking them to process it, although they probably wouldn't.) I made an appointment myself to go to immigration on an Info-Pass. The officer was brutal, mean and totally not empathetic.Yesterday I went to see an immigration attorney who wasn't sure just what might happen. He wanted close to a thousand dollars to "research the situation". We waited so long for him to receive permission to come to the USA and in a matter of days, awful emotional turmoil, bad decisions were made and we are separated yet again. He was a hair's breath away from getting his green card and now this. I have documentation from the hospital where his mother was but understand that it probably doesn't matter at this point. (oh and by the way, although still very ill, his mother did NOT pass away! That is the only good news in this story.) I wrote to the embassy in Costa Rica but they also did not offer hope. Does this really mean we have to start all over again and apply for a him to come to the USA as my spouse, minimally wait at least another year or more, not to mention repeating all the expenses associated with this? Is there no way to ask for humanitarian understanding that his mother was dying? (or so we thought???) Everything was done; he was eligible for his green card...but ....he left. Please don't write to make me feel worse than I already do....but if anyone has any thoughts on the matter, I'd so love to hear from you. (please be gentle with me; I've beaten myself up continually for the past 2 weeks)... As I said, I am just sick over this situation and do not know what else to do, if anything. Best regards to all and thank you for reading this.

[Zedayn 485]

Take a deep breath, every thing will work out one way or another. By leaving before having the AP or green card, he pretty much abandoned the AOS process. It looks very likely that you will have to re petition for him as your spouse. Now its not the end of the world, you will just have to wait a bit longer for him to come back. The amount of time you will wait is really small compared to the lifetime you will be together.

I can see you understand the importance of filing for the AP when sending in the AOS. I hope you can help other members understand the importance of it as well.

[mary81 2]

Hello VJ members. I'm just sick over what has happened with us and wonder if anyone has any advice or recommendations. I suspect we are really unable to fix this scenario. It's taken me almost 2 weeks to be able to even post as I've been so upset. Anyway, the story is that my fiance came to the USA in July 2013 on the K-1 visa. We married in August and he received his EAD (employment authorization) and we then applied for the I-485. (Adjustment of status) At the time I did the paperwork, I did not (stupidly) apply for the I-131, authorization to leave the USA prior to getting the green card. (BIG mistake). All was going ok. He received his social security number and his driver's license. We received a notice from immigration stateing that he was eligible for waiver of interview but that since they are so backed up, no decision would be made for up to 6 months. Then he received a call from home (Costa Rica) that his mother was close to death. I made an appointment for him to go to an Info-Pass to talk to an officer and try to get permission to leave. They couldn't see him for 4 days. However, within that time, he received more calls that the mother was dying and he had to leave IMMEDIATELY if he wished to see her. I freaked out and said if he left, that we would divorce...that he couldn't leave without permission. (I know, I know...not nice). Well bottom line is, he LEFT. OMG. And in a stupid knee jerk reaction, I wrote immigration and said he left, that we would divorce and to stop processing the AOS. (please don't berate me for doing this; I was emotional, stupid and clearly out of my mind.) I didn't mail the letter until after his plane left. Two days later, I wrote immigration again, begging them to disregard earlier letter, that I loved him and was there anyway to get him BACK to the USA?!?!!? I enclosed the copy of the I-131 asking them to process it, although they probably wouldn't.) I made an appointment myself to go to immigration on an Info-Pass. The officer was brutal, mean and totally not empathetic.Yesterday I went to see an immigration attorney who wasn't sure just what might happen. He wanted close to a thousand dollars to "research the situation". We waited so long for him to receive permission to come to the USA and in a matter of days, awful emotional turmoil, bad decisions were made and we are separated yet again. He was a hair's breath away from getting his green card and now this. I have documentation from the hospital where his mother was but understand that it probably doesn't matter at this point. (oh and by the way, although still very ill, his mother did NOT pass away! That is the only good news in this story.) I wrote to the embassy in Costa Rica but they also did not offer hope. Does this really mean we have to start all over again and apply for a him to come to the USA as my spouse, minimally wait at least another year or more, not to mention repeating all the expenses associated with this? Is there no way to ask for humanitarian understanding that his mother was dying? (or so we thought???) Everything was done; he was eligible for his green card...but ....he left. Please don't write to make me feel worse than I already do....but if anyone has any thoughts on the matter, I'd so love to hear from you. (please be gentle with me; I've beaten myself up continually for the past 2 weeks)... As I said, I am just sick over this situation and do not know what else to do, if anything. Best regards to all and thank you for reading this.

I hope everything work for you . Please don't translate my words in a negative side. This is just a personal thought, from what I read, it appears that your fiancée or husband left because you and him were in some type of argument and he didn't like it, left the country. Don't get me wrong, you don't have to explain this to a USCIS officer or CO, in reality you sent them a letter saying you are divorced this rings bells of there was some type of disappointment. These officers gets paid for a reason, most of them are well trained, just by reading someone's eyes they can make a decision and we all know they are the life changers, either yes accept or their no is painful.

anyway you may try again by visiting your local uscis office and get advise to see what is they recommendation, if you get a green light, try to get it in writing and proceed. Or pay a lawyer and they will help sure $$$ are the key for solution .

[Mark88 183]

Like Zedayn already mentioned, by leaving the US he basicly abandoned the AOS process. You will have start over, unless you were already so far, that the green card is going to show up in the mail. Otherwise you will have to file an I-130 and bring him here on a CR-1 visa.

[glinda123 2]

thank you for your responses. I truly appreciate it.

[aaron2020 11,651]

Despite all the trouble you created, you did not stop the AOS process. Your husband abandoned the AOS process by leaving without AP or a green card.

Your only choice to bring him back is a spousal visa and a year wait.

There is no "humanitarian" help when there is a procedure for an emergency AP and your husband choose not to take advantage of it.

Do not pay the lawyer. There is nothing to research when a person in AOS leaves without AP it a green card.

While you didn't cause the AOS to be abandoned, you have created doubt about having a bona fide marriage which will make it harder to get a spousal visa.

Best of luck.

Edited January 10, 2014 by aaron2020

[Cathi 5,630]

I hope everything work for you . Please don't translate my words in a negative side. This is just a personal thought, from what I read, it appears that your fiancée or husband left because you and him were in some type of argument and he didn't like it, left the country. Don't get me wrong, you don't have to explain this to a USCIS officer or CO, in reality you sent them a letter saying you are divorced this rings bells of there was some type of disappointment. These officers gets paid for a reason, most of them are well trained, just by reading someone's eyes they can make a decision and we all know they are the life changers, either yes accept or their no is painful.

anyway you may try again by visiting your local uscis office and get advise to see what is they recommendation, if you get a green light, try to get it in writing and proceed. Or pay a lawyer and they will help sure $$$ are the key for solution .

There is no reason to visit a USCIS office or get anything in writing from them. Exactly what do you think she can get in writing? What green light? She can petition an I130 and doesn't need permission or anything in writing saying she can. There is also no need for a lawyer. Before giving advice you need to know facts, don't just pull random thoughts out of your head with nothing to back it up.

To the OP: he abandoned his green card, the only way to get him back us to petition an i130 for a cr1. You don't need permission from anyone or an attorney. Just be prepared for extra scrutiny because of the stunt you pulled when he left, you are going to gave to prove you reconciled and have a bonafide relationship.

[glinda123 2]

Again, I appreciate all of your feedback.