lovest

im not pursuing a visa and thinking about my interview or if i'll be approved or not , we have completed visa case together, not bymyelf , i worry about what to do in my case, if he abandoned me like i see , im not going to any interview for sure one thing for sure i m not going to leave my home country to make a new life with him he is showing little commitment to me and the marriage ,

I am not a Russian/Ukrainian woman but am good friends with some, including several with American husbands and/or boyfriends so I have had plenty of opportunity to hear the vents. I am going to write from the side of advocating for her - so yes, this will be one-sided (heads up and advance apology to the people I am likely to offend!)
1) What to many Americans is a neat freak is to many Russians/Ukrainians just a decent housekeeper. From my experience placing Russian students with American host families, as well as knowing many Russian women who live in the U.S., it is entirely possible that she is horrified by the condition of your house (which to you may seem just slightly messy). That could definitely be a turn-off and raise some red flags on her end as to what she left her home for. No, I haven't seen your house and maybe she is just OCD - but I have witnessed this type of clash before between others.
2) You already took a step towards trying to control how she raises her daughter by telling her to stop giving instructions so you could avoid being a few minutes late. Huge red flag if that were me and my kid.
3) You are getting upset at her for not doing her part in the bedroom - and offended that intimacy to her means cuddling and talking - but at the same time you are running off and doing your own thing, which in her view is not doing your part to promote family time. Sounds like you guys have different views on the priorities of a healthy marriage and relationship.
4) It sounds like you and her are equally using intimate relations and marriage for 'blackmail' - only vice versa. You've made it pretty clear to her what you expect immediately and frequently if she wants you to marry her without so much as giving her a little time to adapt and adjust. Hell yeah I wouldn’t marry someone who didn’t want to sleep with me - I also wouldn't want to marry someone who was this focused on the lack of sex - cmon its only been 10 days.
Another question just for you to think about and maybe understand better where she‘s coming from, if it does apply. Did she and her daughter live in a one-room apartment? If so, for how long? She may have become so used to sleeping with her daughter that it's going to require some time for her to feel comfortable being without her - especially if she hates your room.
Anyhow, I don't think she is necessarily out to scam you, although it is certainly possible.
Pushing for marriage could be the (stupid) notion that once you're husband and wife, things will get better - or it could be the fact that she knows there's no way for her to stay until then.
If you both want a normal happy marriage, whether or not you can have it will depend on how you both define a normal, happy marriage - seems possible right now that you both have very different views on that. If your relationship is going to work you BOTH need to be a lot more understanding and tolerant of each other. Respect each other, give each other time, and work through it together.
Whether or not you both want to put in the work required to make this work is something for you and her to decide, within the next 90 days (or 80 remaining I guess?).
Definitely don’t marry her unless you get to a point where you both feel comfortable that you can live with and love each others quirks. That won’t end well for either of you. But don't blame her alone if it doesn't work out, and do the right thing by her if she ends up going home.

Wow! Sorry to read about your anguish over 'inter-racial marriage' dude! I'd say it's really very hard to adjust. First of all, everything is just DIFFERENT. From culture, to language, educational and family background, weather, food, lifestyle, even religion or sometimes if not your case-- BIG AGE difference and so on and so forth. I don't blame you. I myself is having a hard time adjusting to an American husband, pretty much having a hard time adjusting to a progressive society. It's very hard. He get's impatient, frustrated,annoyed, grouchy, disappointed, lost and confused lol name all those negative feelings you feel right now and that's what he had to experience with me times 5 coz we've been married for 5 years now.lol =)
The scariest story I can tell you was when we had this crazy disagreement I walked out of the house to avoid him and the next thing had happened was there were ambulance, firetruck and cop cars. Yes, I wreck. I thought I died. That was my turning point. It was his too. My husband isn't the softy teary sensitive guy. Although he's not showy, I feel that he cared and was scared to lose me.
I couldn't afford to lose this battle. I refuse to give up on him. Sure he's not perfect, and Im not either. Tell me who is? Ask yourself..WHAT's your priority in life dude? If your priorities aren't well established then you need to. You don't have a LIFETIME to keep repeating same old mistake like what others did.
Marriage is not about whirlwind romance. It's building a relationship over time. It's what defines you and builds your character being the man and husband in the house. It's about accountability & responsibility to be the head in the household.
Don't blame each other. Just talk and be open to one another. What needs & wants arent met. Learn to be patient. Like us, we still have disagreements here and there. God healed our emotional vulnerabilities. Im thankful for that.
Love and get hurt, get hurt and learn, learn and let go, let go and grow, grow and love each other again. That's my motto.
God bless you brother. I'll pray for you.

We got the same advise from an american lawyer... We decided against it, and never came back to her office. It took about 7 months to get my K-1, but because I also had a B1/B2 I could visit my fiancé about every two months during the process. It indeed is longer, but it gives you the peace of mind that you're doing things the right way, and your loved one will not have issues with immigration.
Good luck!

Love is patient; love is kind
and envies no one.
Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;
never selfish, not quick to take offense...-Bible quote
Is LOVE really there?

More than likely, in the wrong section for this kind of question. Wow, do I have a wonderful wife now, but neither her or me were smart enough to realize that in our younger years. Just literally all kinds of chemical imbalances in the brain with some kind of people. And you quickly learn that in the sacrament of holy matrimony, that the Holy spirit does not fly down from heaven and make things all right.
If you think its bad now, wait until you get hitched, then it really gets miserable, in the case of my wife, her ex started to beat her. Would sure like to meet that guy, but already had enough legal problems with him, but he more than met his match. I can't believe anyone would treat her like this, she is and still is, the sweetest person I have ever met, anywhere.
If you want my advice, don't walk away from this guy, RUN! No this behavior is not normal, he should be treating you like a queen, bring you flowers, and do just about everything for you.
I had to put a retaining order on my ex, not that I couldn't have flattened her with one punch, but was very cognizant of the legal implications, even got full physical custody of my kids. Now that is rare for a guy.
Oh, my children positively love their new stepmom.

It is a very difficult and long and frustrating process. I feel your pain. We were unable to get expedition, and then my husband deployed right around the time my interview finally got scheduled, so now I am actually requesting that they delay issuing my visa so that I can stay in my home country until he comes back in a year or so, as he was hte only reason I was moving to the US in the first place. I don't want to go there and live alone!
Anyways, if you want my advice it would be to try and live in the moment and focus on what you DO have (love and health at least I hope). Focus on the end/eyes on the prize. You will be together forever... after this little speed bump.
Wishing you patience, peace, and luck!
C

Yeah I don't really understand these couples breaking up because they can't handle the distance for just a few months. I mean don't most of these relationships here on VJ start as a long distance relationships anyways? I would think most people have dealt with this before they even started the visa process. Unless all they did was meet in person once and then file. Which in my opinion is not enough time to know if you want to marry someone. I know there are a lot of couples here that started the visa process right after meeting only once, so they are probably annoyed with what I just said, but that's still my opinion. My husband and I were in a long distance relationship for 4 years and 8 months before we filed for the fiance visa. We were apart for months at a time so being apart wasn't something new for us. Don't get me wrong, it was very hard to be apart, and got even harder after each visit we had, but as long as you talk often during that time you are apart you can get through it. It has all been worth it in the end to be married and living together.

First of all: my deepest condolences.
Second of all: What. An. Idiot. [Him, not you!]
As a con man, he's totally incompetent. You are, of course, correct. Without AOSing, his stay will expire in 90 days, and then he's out of status.
You should be aware that if he has a copy of your marriage certificate, and can fake your signature on an I-864, he can try to file for AOS on his own, assuming he even knows he needs to do this. [Was it you or him who did most of the paperwork? If you did it all, he may not be familiar with the process enough to even know he's bailed before he locked in his status.] You can [and should!] head this off at the pass by calling USCIS, talking to a second level service officer, and informing them of the situation and that under absolutely no circumstances is an I-864 signed by you legitimate. That will prevent him from even trying to AOS.
As for the other stuff, USCIS is unlikely to sic ICE on him just for taking off. They unfortunately don't have the manpower to do that sort of active investigation, so that won't work. But it sounds from what you say that he leads a lifestyle that will bring him to the attention of the Florida police in fairly short order, and if you inform them of his licenselessness, tendency towards DUI, and immigration status, they may hand him over to ICE for you, when he inevitably has an unfavorable interaction with them.
That's pretty much all you can do, directly. But I recommend that you don't do anything overtly against him. Certainly call USCIS to protect yourself from a forged I-864 by all means, but for the other stuff...
Harboring unforgiveness and anger against someone will ultimately do far more harm to your body and soul than the pain he's already caused you. I urge you, in the strongest possible terms, to try very hard to understand him as just another sad, twisted, broken, fallen human [just as we all are] and to find a way to forgive him who trespasses against you, just as we are forgiven our trespasses.

We got the same advise from an american lawyer... We decided against it, and never came back to her office. It took about 7 months to get my K-1, but because I also had a B1/B2 I could visit my fiancé about every two months during the process. It indeed is longer, but it gives you the peace of mind that you're doing things the right way, and your loved one will not have issues with immigration.
Good luck!

So! I just wanted to say THANK YOU again!! VJ is such an amazing place! I just wish that everyone's journey was as smooth as ours was
Right now I need to start packing all my stuff because my flight leaves tomorrow afternoon! (I know I'm such a procrastinator), and then I'll be back to my man's side, FOREVER! This feels so amazing and I'm so excited, but I wish I could bring my mom with me! God I'll miss her so much!
Please pray for me as I walk through immigration tomorrow!

My heart goes out to those in Japan. The terrifying and imminent nuclear meltdown is particularly troubling. I do hope that your loved ones can get here as soon as possible. I am in favor of expedites, my motto is: BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY. If your case is valid you will succeed but I don't think that's for anyone here to surmise. Call into the USCSIS and be clear about the situation. I do think that you should wait a few days so that you have all the relevant information. For instance, if you called yesterday you would not have mentioned the nuclear meltdown which will clearly affect Tokyo residents.
To clear up some misinformation about Haiti: Yes the entire country was affected. From port-au-prince to villages in the countryside. Massive damage occurred throughout the nation and the migration that resulted as people left Port-au-prince crippled the ability of smaller villages to provide food/water for expanded populations. Expedition was also influenced by the cholera epidemic that continues to claim lives. Additionally, the fractured government and lack of political stability is a third factor. All together, these represent a critical mass of devastation and potential for calamity. There is still not a working government.
Earthquake deaths in Haiti: 316,000
Earthquake injuries in Haiti: 300,000
Cholera deaths in Haiti: 4,700
We don't yet know the death toll from the Japanese earthquake and Tsunami, however they are considerably lower than the Haiti case. Preliminary numbers suggest 2,000 deaths. Japan is also a developed nation as others have mentioned, more prepared to deal with infrastructural damage. THE US will doubtless aid in the effort since we have huge military bases in Japan and I hope that every possible effort is made to speed the recovery.
That's the way TPS works, its even the point of TPS. If Japanese folks overstay they became "illegal" TPS prevents them from being permanently banned from the US because of a disaster in the home country.
Temporary protected status was offered for Haitians ten days after the quake. This is another reason to wait. The government might offer assistance, but we need to allow for the situation to stabilize and see what efforts are going to be made.
We stand by your side!

So, why are you trying to expedite? There undoubtedly are many individuals who have been severely effected from this catastrophe who are alsowaiting on the USCIS, and you are going to try and jump on the bandwagon? *shakes head* My heart goes out to all those who have been effected - losing homes, loved ones, and life as they previously knew it, in Japan and beyond.
I'm not all fluffy and going to tell you good luck like others. This seems selfish to me and you are seeking to utilize the misfortune of others to your own benefit. Requesting an expedite due to the earthquake is completely different from your having to wait 6+ months. I do hope you get your NOA2 soon as you have clearly waited your turn and been patient for so long, but really frown upon such an expedite request.

In my case it took less than 5 months to get approved, but I've seen that the trends have change and people actually wait up to 8 months to get their NOA2, and after that they still have to wait until they get an appointment at the consulate.
I think you just need to be patient, and it'll be good to not set a specific date for the wedding because you may not get your visa for that day (and that'll be incredible stressful!), any way good luck on you journey!

It sounds like the only thing they're holding against him is the fact that he misrepresented himself, and not the fact that he worked illegally in the US. The INA doesn't specifically state how long a person is banned for misrepresentation. It only says that such a person is inadmissible. Section 235, which they mentioned, only describes that the CBP officer has the discretion to deny them entry or have them removed from the US. It's pretty much up to the discretion of DHS how long he is banned.
You can petition for a visa. Your petition will probably be approved, but his visa will be denied at the interview. You can submit an application for a waiver of the ban, but you must prove extreme hardship. These waivers can be tough to get. A good immigration lawyer with extensive experience with these sort of waivers is highly recommended.

You can't because one of the requirements for a K-1 is that both of you need to be legally able to marry, if you are still married (even if you spouse is in Morocco) you're not eligible for a Fiancé visa (or any other visa for your gf, whatsoever) you need to finalize your divorce, and then you can start the paper work for your K-1. Hope this helps (: