nab

my thoughts exactly.
but i agree, i do talk to everyone i can to teach them a greater understanding of islam (and of muslims) than the misconceptions being put out there by media.
can you believe there are even people who go 'undercover' as 'muslim' on internet and post crazy things trying to perpetuate those stereotypes?
Sofiyya, is that what you mean by you "act"?
(after all your crying wolf throughout this thread, NOW you have had your character officially attacked,... although with some validity, on YOUR word)
Sofiyya feels i am a bad muslim because i believe other religions have the right to exist.
throughout this thread you have personally attacked me with vulgar mouth. you are specifically obsessed with the nalga... are you male "Sofiyya"?
could you do a copy/paste of any post (or just post the page # in the thread) where i "advised" you to do such vulgar things.
Again, throughout this thread you have made untrue accusations against me so NOW here IS my advice dear:
find a very good psychologist, go back to your childhood and deal with some of the issues, anger, and obsessions you seem to have.
Sofiyya, i have faith, i am kind in most situations, and in some ways i am wise but always learning....
you are correct in that islam allows for defense against attack... but you lie when you say i attacked you first. You have a track record of attacking people then crying wolf and this case is no different.
as for your mother, it is wonderful that she is a blessing to you and yours.
i do not believe in any way she would be proud of the filthy way you speak to people no matter their religion, or the way you try to turn people away from islam.
+1
i understand now so much the techniques my father used for us children as we were growing. he taught us to use our minds, not our fists.

Sofiyya, i too am a warrior... be very careful when you slander my character as well as Mr. Saigon's. y o u d o n o t k n o w m e
LOL yep you have no idea. My husband follows in Muhammad's (PBUH) footsteps and would NOT take lightly that type of thing!
+1 to all except the "excommunicated a fellow member of your faith" i am not, nor have i ever been, an extremist (nor do i play a pretend one on the internet).
I AM STILL A MUSLIM
you've been questioning islam since the 1970, for a living. interesting.
you are quite the chameleon Sofiyya... but i guess that helps ya blend in to the caves when you're there and the desert when you're there and the grassy areas as well. cool dude
you are quite humorous... you begin a thread asking one question, which is not actually a valid question at all (religions are not "capable or incapable" of violence, only the people behind them) then you switch to this...
when did you ask what are the world's major religions?
i'm beginning to think you dropped too much acid in the 60's and 70's "Sofiyya"... maybe that's why all the stoners keep coming to visit you

Sofiyya, i too am a warrior... be very careful when you slander my character as well as Mr. Saigon's. y o u d o n o t k n o w m e
LOL yep you have no idea. My husband follows in Muhammad's (PBUH) footsteps and would NOT take lightly that type of thing!
+1 to all except the "excommunicated a fellow member of your faith" i am not, nor have i ever been, an extremist (nor do i play a pretend one on the internet).
I AM STILL A MUSLIM
you've been questioning islam since the 1970, for a living. interesting.
you are quite the chameleon Sofiyya... but i guess that helps ya blend in to the caves when you're there and the desert when you're there and the grassy areas as well. cool dude
you are quite humorous... you begin a thread asking one question, which is not actually a valid question at all (religions are not "capable or incapable" of violence, only the people behind them) then you switch to this...
when did you ask what are the world's major religions?
i'm beginning to think you dropped too much acid in the 60's and 70's "Sofiyya"... maybe that's why all the stoners keep coming to visit you

my thoughts exactly.
but i agree, i do talk to everyone i can to teach them a greater understanding of islam (and of muslims) than the misconceptions being put out there by media.
can you believe there are even people who go 'undercover' as 'muslim' on internet and post crazy things trying to perpetuate those stereotypes?
Sofiyya, is that what you mean by you "act"?
(after all your crying wolf throughout this thread, NOW you have had your character officially attacked,... although with some validity, on YOUR word)
Sofiyya feels i am a bad muslim because i believe other religions have the right to exist.
throughout this thread you have personally attacked me with vulgar mouth. you are specifically obsessed with the nalga... are you male "Sofiyya"?
could you do a copy/paste of any post (or just post the page # in the thread) where i "advised" you to do such vulgar things.
Again, throughout this thread you have made untrue accusations against me so NOW here IS my advice dear:
find a very good psychologist, go back to your childhood and deal with some of the issues, anger, and obsessions you seem to have.
Sofiyya, i have faith, i am kind in most situations, and in some ways i am wise but always learning....
you are correct in that islam allows for defense against attack... but you lie when you say i attacked you first. You have a track record of attacking people then crying wolf and this case is no different.
as for your mother, it is wonderful that she is a blessing to you and yours.
i do not believe in any way she would be proud of the filthy way you speak to people no matter their religion, or the way you try to turn people away from islam.
+1
i understand now so much the techniques my father used for us children as we were growing. he taught us to use our minds, not our fists.

my thoughts exactly.
but i agree, i do talk to everyone i can to teach them a greater understanding of islam (and of muslims) than the misconceptions being put out there by media.
can you believe there are even people who go 'undercover' as 'muslim' on internet and post crazy things trying to perpetuate those stereotypes?
Sofiyya, is that what you mean by you "act"?
(after all your crying wolf throughout this thread, NOW you have had your character officially attacked,... although with some validity, on YOUR word)
Sofiyya feels i am a bad muslim because i believe other religions have the right to exist.
throughout this thread you have personally attacked me with vulgar mouth. you are specifically obsessed with the nalga... are you male "Sofiyya"?
could you do a copy/paste of any post (or just post the page # in the thread) where i "advised" you to do such vulgar things.
Again, throughout this thread you have made untrue accusations against me so NOW here IS my advice dear:
find a very good psychologist, go back to your childhood and deal with some of the issues, anger, and obsessions you seem to have.
Sofiyya, i have faith, i am kind in most situations, and in some ways i am wise but always learning....
you are correct in that islam allows for defense against attack... but you lie when you say i attacked you first. You have a track record of attacking people then crying wolf and this case is no different.
as for your mother, it is wonderful that she is a blessing to you and yours.
i do not believe in any way she would be proud of the filthy way you speak to people no matter their religion, or the way you try to turn people away from islam.
+1
i understand now so much the techniques my father used for us children as we were growing. he taught us to use our minds, not our fists.

Sofiyya, i too am a warrior... be very careful when you slander my character as well as Mr. Saigon's. y o u d o n o t k n o w m e
LOL yep you have no idea. My husband follows in Muhammad's (PBUH) footsteps and would NOT take lightly that type of thing!
+1 to all except the "excommunicated a fellow member of your faith" i am not, nor have i ever been, an extremist (nor do i play a pretend one on the internet).
I AM STILL A MUSLIM
you've been questioning islam since the 1970, for a living. interesting.
you are quite the chameleon Sofiyya... but i guess that helps ya blend in to the caves when you're there and the desert when you're there and the grassy areas as well. cool dude
you are quite humorous... you begin a thread asking one question, which is not actually a valid question at all (religions are not "capable or incapable" of violence, only the people behind them) then you switch to this...
when did you ask what are the world's major religions?
i'm beginning to think you dropped too much acid in the 60's and 70's "Sofiyya"... maybe that's why all the stoners keep coming to visit you

Sofiyya, i too am a warrior... be very careful when you slander my character as well as Mr. Saigon's. y o u d o n o t k n o w m e
LOL yep you have no idea. My husband follows in Muhammad's (PBUH) footsteps and would NOT take lightly that type of thing!
+1 to all except the "excommunicated a fellow member of your faith" i am not, nor have i ever been, an extremist (nor do i play a pretend one on the internet).
I AM STILL A MUSLIM
you've been questioning islam since the 1970, for a living. interesting.
you are quite the chameleon Sofiyya... but i guess that helps ya blend in to the caves when you're there and the desert when you're there and the grassy areas as well. cool dude
you are quite humorous... you begin a thread asking one question, which is not actually a valid question at all (religions are not "capable or incapable" of violence, only the people behind them) then you switch to this...
when did you ask what are the world's major religions?
i'm beginning to think you dropped too much acid in the 60's and 70's "Sofiyya"... maybe that's why all the stoners keep coming to visit you

my thoughts exactly.
but i agree, i do talk to everyone i can to teach them a greater understanding of islam (and of muslims) than the misconceptions being put out there by media.
can you believe there are even people who go 'undercover' as 'muslim' on internet and post crazy things trying to perpetuate those stereotypes?
Sofiyya, is that what you mean by you "act"?
(after all your crying wolf throughout this thread, NOW you have had your character officially attacked,... although with some validity, on YOUR word)
Sofiyya feels i am a bad muslim because i believe other religions have the right to exist.
throughout this thread you have personally attacked me with vulgar mouth. you are specifically obsessed with the nalga... are you male "Sofiyya"?
could you do a copy/paste of any post (or just post the page # in the thread) where i "advised" you to do such vulgar things.
Again, throughout this thread you have made untrue accusations against me so NOW here IS my advice dear:
find a very good psychologist, go back to your childhood and deal with some of the issues, anger, and obsessions you seem to have.
Sofiyya, i have faith, i am kind in most situations, and in some ways i am wise but always learning....
you are correct in that islam allows for defense against attack... but you lie when you say i attacked you first. You have a track record of attacking people then crying wolf and this case is no different.
as for your mother, it is wonderful that she is a blessing to you and yours.
i do not believe in any way she would be proud of the filthy way you speak to people no matter their religion, or the way you try to turn people away from islam.
+1
i understand now so much the techniques my father used for us children as we were growing. he taught us to use our minds, not our fists.

Who said anything about needing experts? I said random strangers. Doesn't make sense to me to seek advice from people yoU don't know while giving very few details about yourself. And the actions they are taking show they are not ready. They don't need any advice, and they aren't really asking for any. A better poll would be "We are not ready for this, but should we go ahead and have the kid or not?"
You gotta make a lot of tough decisions when raising kids. This won't be the hardest one.
It's not an argument, it's a statement. The best time to decide if your ready or not is before getting pregnant. It's certainly not by putting a poll online.

They now have two career options. In the past, they only had one - catholic priest.

usually it gets someone 10-15 years, but nowadays the tsa can do it for free. i wonder how many pervs are applying now for a tsa position.

They chose to resolve an important life decision by letting random strangers vote on it. If they had any common sense, they would have realized right there that they are not ready.
I wish they would have given it a little more thought before getting pregnant. Or at least put up a poll before getting pregnant. Seems like a better time to decide if one is ready or not.

The vitriol drips from your posts Sof. You asked no innocent questions, and true to form excommunicated a fellow member of your faith for the, in your mind cardinal sin of daring to disagree with you.
Keep up the good work teaching us all about the peaceful, loving, wonderful kindness of your beautiful faith.

The strong man is not the good wrestler; the strong man is only the one who controls himself when he is angry.

"Kindness is a mark of faith, and whoever is not kind has no faith."
Can you tell me who said that?

you seem to be the only name caller here Sofiyya... what is your problem dear? no one is "hating" on you though you seem intent on projecting the wrong idea of what a muslim is... why is that? what IS your agenda?
how am i not being friendly to muslimS? (didnt realize you were more than one person). IF you are a muslim, and by asking you questions on a thread you began, you consider that to be "not very friendly", then perhaps you should not begin threads asking questions then blowing down the answers you receive as "wrong" "wrong" "wrong" but not providing your "perfect" answer since everyone else seems to provide you with a "wrong" answer. be prepared to provide the "correct" answer when you blow people off.

I agree, great post, Nab.
For those who asked about why someone posts this type of question in an immigration forum, please scroll up to the top of the page and read the title of this forum: 'Finding Work in America'. Finding or going to work after someone arrives in the US is a continuation of the process of immigrating to a new country and is a valid topic for discussion. While the individual involved may just be lazy as suggested, it may also be that there is a cultural aspect involved and the issue concerns the US/Immigrant couple making a life together after the immigrant arrives in the US. Immigration isn't just the nuts and bolts of the process to get here and stay here - it is also about the people involved in the relationship.

ok i'm not going to flippant this time in case this is legit. these are all things you need to sit down WITH him, go over and DISCUSS. you are not his mother so do not nag, you are not his child so do not beg or whine for things... you are his WIFE and as such you need to treat him as a man in the home. you are equal but different. you are correct that nagging will hurt more than help. but to "back off" and ignore a situation is just as bad.
get a binder and notebook.... you need to get organized
#1 - make a honey-do list for the unfinished projects. obviously he knows these things need done, he worked on them. find out why the work stopped (lack of money? job was too large for one person? or too dangerous for unexperienced?) address the issue and go about fixing the problems holding up the projects (hire a professional or get a family member to come help or save the money to buy the materials).
for the jobs that CAN be completed... make a list, or put them on pieces of paper and put in a jar which he will select one at a time and work on that job till it is complete. or some other method that the two of you come up with that will work for you two.
do you also do home projects? or do you help him with them? (just curious)
#2 - as far as 'you make 10x what he made while working' perhaps he doesnt feel the need to work if you remind him of this. obviously money isnt an issue if for 5yrs he hasnt worked so perhaps he should look for a volunteer position to hone his skills (out of job market for 5yrs) and bring his resume/CV back up to date. it will get him out of the home in a good way (working, rather than going out at night to party) and bring his self-esteem up a little as well if he is feeling depressed.
with the economy the way it is, trying to send him out to find a job now (5yrs out of the job market) would be quite ruthless and is a recipe for disaster. if money is an issue, have you considered a home-based business of some type? are his skills marketable on the internet? try temp agencies who might be able to get him a temp job into a company who wouldn't normally give him a chance otehrwise. exhaust all options.
#3 - make goals. daily, week, month, year, and even 5yr.
what does he (and you) want to accomplish in these time periods
what does he (and you) need to do to meet these goals
#4 - begin treating each other like you are newlyweds again.
look for the good things in each other, not the faults.
do nice little things for each other EVERY day.
treat each other kindly

in truth Sofiyya what have YOU brought except to ask a baiting question then sit back, sniff, and throw away any of the answers without any input of your own? come on, come on, let's hear the grand answer to your question....

Because we are human and some have gone thru the same thing... the SAME could be said about immigration assistance why not say seek a professional.. lawyer... etc

you seem to be the only name caller here Sofiyya... what is your problem dear? no one is "hating" on you though you seem intent on projecting the wrong idea of what a muslim is... why is that? what IS your agenda?
how am i not being friendly to muslimS? (didnt realize you were more than one person). IF you are a muslim, and by asking you questions on a thread you began, you consider that to be "not very friendly", then perhaps you should not begin threads asking questions then blowing down the answers you receive as "wrong" "wrong" "wrong" but not providing your "perfect" answer since everyone else seems to provide you with a "wrong" answer. be prepared to provide the "correct" answer when you blow people off.

you seem to be the only name caller here Sofiyya... what is your problem dear? no one is "hating" on you though you seem intent on projecting the wrong idea of what a muslim is... why is that? what IS your agenda?
how am i not being friendly to muslimS? (didnt realize you were more than one person). IF you are a muslim, and by asking you questions on a thread you began, you consider that to be "not very friendly", then perhaps you should not begin threads asking questions then blowing down the answers you receive as "wrong" "wrong" "wrong" but not providing your "perfect" answer since everyone else seems to provide you with a "wrong" answer. be prepared to provide the "correct" answer when you blow people off.

ok i'm not going to flippant this time in case this is legit. these are all things you need to sit down WITH him, go over and DISCUSS. you are not his mother so do not nag, you are not his child so do not beg or whine for things... you are his WIFE and as such you need to treat him as a man in the home. you are equal but different. you are correct that nagging will hurt more than help. but to "back off" and ignore a situation is just as bad.
get a binder and notebook.... you need to get organized
#1 - make a honey-do list for the unfinished projects. obviously he knows these things need done, he worked on them. find out why the work stopped (lack of money? job was too large for one person? or too dangerous for unexperienced?) address the issue and go about fixing the problems holding up the projects (hire a professional or get a family member to come help or save the money to buy the materials).
for the jobs that CAN be completed... make a list, or put them on pieces of paper and put in a jar which he will select one at a time and work on that job till it is complete. or some other method that the two of you come up with that will work for you two.
do you also do home projects? or do you help him with them? (just curious)
#2 - as far as 'you make 10x what he made while working' perhaps he doesnt feel the need to work if you remind him of this. obviously money isnt an issue if for 5yrs he hasnt worked so perhaps he should look for a volunteer position to hone his skills (out of job market for 5yrs) and bring his resume/CV back up to date. it will get him out of the home in a good way (working, rather than going out at night to party) and bring his self-esteem up a little as well if he is feeling depressed.
with the economy the way it is, trying to send him out to find a job now (5yrs out of the job market) would be quite ruthless and is a recipe for disaster. if money is an issue, have you considered a home-based business of some type? are his skills marketable on the internet? try temp agencies who might be able to get him a temp job into a company who wouldn't normally give him a chance otehrwise. exhaust all options.
#3 - make goals. daily, week, month, year, and even 5yr.
what does he (and you) want to accomplish in these time periods
what does he (and you) need to do to meet these goals
#4 - begin treating each other like you are newlyweds again.
look for the good things in each other, not the faults.
do nice little things for each other EVERY day.
treat each other kindly

well you made him like he is so deal with what you have created
why was ok for him to sit for 5yrs and not ok now ... is it getting close to that 7yr itch creeping in?

you seem to be the only name caller here Sofiyya... what is your problem dear? no one is "hating" on you though you seem intent on projecting the wrong idea of what a muslim is... why is that? what IS your agenda?
how am i not being friendly to muslimS? (didnt realize you were more than one person). IF you are a muslim, and by asking you questions on a thread you began, you consider that to be "not very friendly", then perhaps you should not begin threads asking questions then blowing down the answers you receive as "wrong" "wrong" "wrong" but not providing your "perfect" answer since everyone else seems to provide you with a "wrong" answer. be prepared to provide the "correct" answer when you blow people off.