TravellingNomad

ok i called the USCIS and the person I spoke with asked me a few questions. and based on the information i gave her, she said that both my minor children derived citizen because i have citizenship by naturalization. she said i could either apply for their US passport or file for the N-600. but she recommended to applying the passport because it serves as proof of citizenship and as travel documents. i do agree with her for the sole reason that applying for a passport is 500% cheaper than filing the N-600.

sorry off topic but...
P50K in rent? wow...she renting malacanang?

ok everyone i got an update. i finally talked to her yesterday afternoon. and no...it wasn't a mexican stand off type confrontation. finally got an answer and it was one of those defining moments for me. i asked her yesterday afternoon why she was so unhappy when im around and seems like she's not into the marriage anymore. she told me that when she got here, it was because she really missed her family back home. i really do understand because this is the first time she's been this far away from them since she was born. then she said she started to get used to being here and trying her best to get acclimated with the way of life here. but one thing she hated was that i smoke. so she said that she thought if she made such a big change in life (immigrating to a new country for me), that the least i can do was make a small change myself. she's been telling me for a very long time to quit but haven't. so beginning of July she requested i stop and i did, cold turkey. about a week after i quit, i asked her why she was acting the way she was not talking to me . she said something and i guess i got irritated and told her "hopefully you work soon so that we don't see each other as much anymore". i told her i said it as a joke because of how she was not talking to me and that i felt she didn't want to be around me. i could've sworn i wasn't irritated but she told me that it sounded like i was snapping at her. then she told me that ever since i quit cold turkey, i've been snapping at her and she didn't know why. right when she said that, we looked at each other and i swear both of us saw the lightbulb come on. she then asked me if it could be because i was quitting smoking at that time. she said she only started noticing me having a bad attitude when i stopped smoking.
i feel sooo terrible at how i've been acting towards her. i should've expected a change in me when i decided to quit cold turkey and gave her a heads-up, but i didn't think i would be that bad. so to somewhat make up for it, i gave her a big wet kiss right smack on the lips and gave her a really big and tight hug! she told me that i was very cranky and snappy the first couple of weeks of me quitting and that im actually back to my normal self again. but even though i wasn't cranky and snappy anymore, she told me she just got hurt at what i said and every time she saw me, it comes back and gets her really down. she said she thought i didn't want to be with her anymore when i said that that's why she started mentioning divorce in a semi-joking way because she wanted to see where she stood with me. i know it doesn't make up for me being such a jerk, but i told her that everytime i think about her, she still makes my heart skip a beat like the very first time i saw her when we were kids. i also said to her that i still get excited and look forward to seeing her when she's out of my sight. now to surprise her by getting a dozen tulips (her favorite flower) delivered to her.
i am glad to say we were able to talk. im especially glad that she was able to get her sama ng loob off her chest. thanks everyone for listening (or reading for that matter) and giving advise.

If I was an organizer I would move the Philippines 5000 miles closer to the US

That's not a marriage. That's an arrangement. To each his own, but not for me. Nobody needs to be anyone's doormat in order for there to be peace in a relationship.

Personally I think she's being a brat and you need to let her know that while you understand that things are hard right now, violence and breaking things are unacceptable and should not be tolerated. Having said that, I think she's quite lucky to have an understanding husband like you. Your job was on the line and you did nothing wrong, let her know that
Personally I think she's being a brat and you need to let her know that while you understand that things are hard right now, violence and breaking things are unacceptable and should not be tolerated. Having said that, I think she's quite lucky to have an understanding husband like you. Your job was on the line and you did nothing wrong, let her know that

So basically put your tail between your legs and put your man card in the trash.

International Driving Permits
The State of California does not recognize an International Driving Permit (IDP) as a valid driver license. California does recognize a valid driver license that is issued by a foreign jurisdiction (country, state, territory) of which the license holder is a resident.
The IDP is only a translation of information contained on a person’s foreign driver license and is not required to operate a motor vehicle in California. Citations issued to a person in California who has an IDP, but does not have a California driver license will be placed on the Department of Motor Vehicle database.
The IDP is also called an International Driver License, International License, etc.
http://dmv.ca.gov/dl/dl_info.htm

Inappropriate comments have been removed.
To the OP, when someone answers your question politely, it is a good idea to be polite in your response back instead of dismissive. You stand a better chance of getting helpful responses that way.

I mean...
A life of DENIAL?
and, let me clarify this to you JR...YOU stated your "opinion" in a degrading way and you know it! Don't try to run and hide now!!!

Synapses are firing. But the wiring is all mixed up. I wrote the manufacturer for a schematic, and this is what came back:

I'm not sure it can be fixed.

Complete rubbish. ^^^ Instead of making ridiculous sweeping generalizations about everyone else, why don't you talk about something you know about...you and your fiancée.
Everyone knows. And it's no surprise...
If you communicate with your fiancée the way you communicate here on VJ, it's no wonder you are having problems.
What woman is going to put up with that?
I see that the rest of your posts in this thread have devolved into your usual nonsense.

I suspect the OP has gotten jilted at the gate, and now, he is blaming all Fil-Am's for his failed relationship, instead of thinking he could have been a sucker big time. I wonder how much it cost him before he figured it out.

Rubbish ^^^

"The whole Philippine, support thing is totally backwards in my opinion. It seems the parents want their kids cut short their education and get to work and send money. In our culture, the parents want a better life for the children, and are happey when the daughter marries someone that can provide for them. Here it seems thay just want a handout -- very repugnant!"
For one, please don't generalize. Although helping our family members or relatives is deeply embedded in our culture/psyche as Filipinos, each family/individual is different. My Ma does not have a pension or a stable income as a small time organic farmer but she never force me or my brother (we're both adults and have stable jobs) to support her or give her money. She raised us single-handedly when our father abandoned us when we were kids, he never sent alimony or anything. That's why if we ever give our Ma any support which doesn't happen every month (only when we have something to give her,) it is out of love and respect for what she has done/sacrificed to raise us.
Two, help your fiancee educate her parents/family. It is a common misconception among Filipinos that most Americans/Westerners are rich. Help them understand where you're coming from and what you have. Sometimes, they're just concerned you might not be able to support or give their daughter a good life. They just don't know how to express their thoughts. Like the previous posters said, we Filipinos are very relational and family-oriented. We test/measure/equate intentions with material things or external gestures. Gifts or support (money) could mean to your future in-laws a better life, a responsible or generous husband for their daughter.
My fiance (USC) and I have early on talked about financial matters even if it is a very sensitive subject. We've come up with guidelines/compromises. We always try to split the costs in everything. He doesn't (has not) help any of my family and I don't/won't require him to. But he does help me with the fiancee visa expenses and the wedding.
Also, please be reminded that this is a public forum. Anyone can see/read your messages. Try to restrain your emotions, some people might misunderstand what you post here and others might think you are discriminating the Filipino culture/people. We have flaws too, we're not perfect.
If this is a deal-breaker for you, I think it will be best to talk about this matter with the concerned people (fiancee and family) first.

Some non judgemental advide. Learn more about the filipino culture before you commit to something as serious as marriage. You are in many cases marrying the family. You cannot impose your values or norms on another culture. My wife does not have to tell me if she sends something home. She does not have to tell me if she uses her debit card for anything she wants. She will tell me that cousin X needs help with college books and all the family would like to give a little.
Filipino's value education, if anything more than the american culture. An entire extened family will assist if necessary to get the kids through college. They will work harder than most americans can imagine to put their kids in a good school.
Do some families try to take advantage? Of course because they are human and have the same failings as the rest of us. The average middle class american family is RICH and very well off by comparison to the average filipino family.
Filipino's are much more extended family oriented than americans. My wife knows cousins so far removed that I laugh when I think about it. They are real family people and will help each other as much as possible. Do not try to turn your wife into an American. It is not fair to her, and in most cases will lead you both to lots of misery.

This is called a chiasm. You see preachers using it a lot to make logical fallacies appear like wisdom.
A chiasm has symmetry like a poem does. In this case you have used the form ABBA. Because of the symmetry, it is pleasing to the ear, just like a rhyme or a song.
Another example for silly illustration: Don't dip your wick, or your wick will dip you. In this way, you can make any ridiculous thing sound "catchy". People with feeble minds give far too much weight to chiasms.
The interesting thing about this personal attack - and it is the second one - is that you are insisting to be the forgiving one; the one with the sense of humanity; the gentleman suffering stoicly.
But there's nothing gentlemanly about these personal attacks. They don't bother me because I am a student of manipulation and understand what the objective is here. I am invited to feel ashamed of myself. (It's called "shaming", and the irony is that the manipulator strikes at your ego with the shaming tactic whilst saying you should not let your ego control you!)
So you know that's why I point out the chiasm above. Because it is like using a poem to conceal an attack on a person's ego in order to manipulate them. It is actually the exact opposite of what it pretends to be and is therefore highly deceptive - it uses your ego against you while claiming to be the advice of not letting your ego get the best of you.
Dissecting manipulation is fascinating to me so thanks for the opportunity.
The backdrop to this whole relationship drama has been the insinuated theme that she is manipulating you for an immigration visa. But the record has been created by you, and it contains an awful lot of manipulative tactics - all the cryptic statements instead of frank, clear communication... insinuation and allusions instead of plain facts. The speaking in riddles and the shaming, guilt-tripping etc. like above.
After instilling doubts in our minds with all these red flags, then you've attacked us for having the doubts you put in our minds in the first place. Classic.
She may indeed be manipulative, but there's no doubt that you are, and I don't mean it as a personal attack. But rather, we are being manipulated here and whatever the whole story is - we're not getting it. One possibility is that all the cryptic red flags are just little plays you're making.
I don't know. The only one who knows is the one concealing things behind the cryptic insinuations and these manipulative responses.
Cheers.

The fact she was granted a visa does not obligate you to anything.
Hypothetically a manipulative person would still come here, despite your objection to continuing the relationship, using a combination of guilt-tripping and the occasional sop of pretended affection being thrown your way.
Hypothetically the target falls for both ploys, feeling guilty when they were the target of cynnical manipulation from day 1 and getting all giddy over the slightest morsel of fake affection. So he allows her to live with him.
Hypothetically the target marries, knowing it is wrong but feeling trapped and desperately hoping for a miracle - maybe she will love me in the end; I will prove I was a gentleman. I will suffer like Jesus on the cross.
Hypothetically the manipulator divorces the target after months of more misery than he has experienced in his lifetime. Hypothetically she is granted the green card on her own.
Hypothetically there are 2.7 million genuine, loving, wonderful Filipinas who would die to take her place and make this man the King of the World. But instead of doing justice and bestowing upon the deserving a wonderful life of family and security this man rewards the scheming evil witch. Thus the strategy of evil is perpetuated by virtue of its success and the strategy of honest and sincere effort is punished.
In the end then what this hypothetical man does is teach others that dishonesty, cheating, and evil intentions are the key to successful immigration.
His excuse will be that his intentions were good.

but it does not make them the only people that come here illegally or become illegal. your posts specifically points out only one nationality instead of illegals in general.
and as far as your previous post regarding how to tell if a person is an illegal alien...i think that's an insult. in todays economy, anyone who is desperate to make a living to feed his/her family has stood at the corner holding up signs asking for work. i know because the evening news i've watched in the past covered some people in my city doing this. and just because a person cannot speak english, does not mean they are an illegal. what you said in your post is pure propaganda.

IMO, This thread is totally derailed.
TCO:
Why would you use this thread for an illegal's debate platform?
This thread is about the murdering of a Pinay by her (monster) husband...it seems pretty callous that you would seize an opportunity to spew anti-illegal's rhetoric on this thread....you have been posting your opinion regarding illegal's on various threads...most if not all of the threads (where you are doing this) have nothing to do with illegal aliens....here's an idea.....Start a (new) illegal alien thread!
btw....good to see that you are (at least attempting to) reading. Keep it up! It might open your mind to ideas you haven't thought of or been exposed to.

so you don't see anything wrong with him having to spend all the money he could be putting in a bank saving for their rainy days or future...for her to get the greatest and latest electronic devices because she just has to have them? having a serious relationship is hard work. it's not about buying your partner's affection. why even fall in love if you are buying the other person's affection? yeah i agree...nothing wrong with spending money on your spouse/partner. but to be forced to spend the money...otherwise you are insulted for not giving in to that person's whim?...that is just plain wrong. stop being naive...would you let your wife go on asking you for thousands of dollars just so she can be happy at having the latest blackberry?...the latest digital camera? $1200 so that she can celebrate her birthday? for god's sake, my wife celebrated her bday and all it cost me was $50! and she told me she even had some left over so she asked me if it was ok for her to use it to buy me a card! wake up...you are giving OP bad advise by telling him to keep enabling his fiancee to treat him like a cash cow.
my 2 cents.
stop making excuses!!!! ok fine...you may have told her at one time this did not go with that...so go find something that will match it. but that did not mean it was a green light for her to just think that you have money to spend. c'mon...$350 for 10 pairs of lingerie? where did she look...victoria's secret?!?!?! there are plenty of locally made lingerie that costs way way cheaper than that! let me ask you something. if you said you are working to pay bills and only having a small amount to save afterwards....how the hell are you coming up with all these money you are sending to her and her extended family? surely if you only have enough to pay bills and set aside a few dollars for savings...where is the thousands of dollars you said you have sent (and will continue to send, with the way you're going) coming from? even though you keep telling her you are not rich, but then turn around and keep sending the amount she tells you, she's thinking that you're just lying to her.
then if this whole attitude of your fiancee started because of your own doing...then undo it by stopping the sending of money for things she does not need. yeah she told you all the spending gets expensive because of the visa processing. but i did not see anywhere in the processing where the beneficiary must have the latest and greatest electronic devices for the petition to be processed or approved. you already know the majorly excessive spending is not right...but you keep making excuses for it...maybe you do deserve what you're getting after all. sorry to be so blunt and insensitive.
love makes a person give in to a point that it hurts. and having someone to love is the best thing in the world. but the person we give all that love to has no right to abuse it.

Are you for real, we've all offered you advice (which is the same from each person on the 4 pages) and you're make up excuses for her why?? she doesn't love you!! I can bet my life that she's laughing at you right now, in the arms of another man!!! Not one person has even made a tiny attempt to excuse what this b**ch is doing to you, not even one of her fellow Plilippine ladies has defended her, nearly all of them have said the good ones wouldn't dearm or asking or taking money from their fiances.
My opinion of people from this country was that they were just like your fiance, BUT this forum has made me do a complete 180 on my narrow minded opinion (so Thanks for that anyone who read my post) and its people like your fiance who prove narrow minded people and the government right.
*******************$325 on sexy underware when you aren't with her, who the f**k is she wearing it for then?????????? come on man grow a pair and tell her where to go!!! so what if she makes you laugh, she's playing a game and shes doing a very good job ********************
She gets moody because you won't give her money, I get moody because I'm not with my fiance and can't hug and kiss him!!
I really wish I could meet your fiance and give her a huge piece of my mind, because she would NEVER do this again once I'd done speaking to her!!!

Yup, sixth-grade English is better than no English at all.

Those are some ugly chicks you paid to pose with you!

I hope you didn't pay those guys more than P10 to pose with you.