HeatDeath

Long story short with more detail to come after we've spent some quality time~
She was given a 1 month parole visa and passport was surrendered. We have until this time to get the appropriate paper work gathered and submitted. They said lost/stolen/damaged/etc happens fairly frequently overall - it's still better to do it the 'right' way but they do have a contingency plan. Don't rely on it, but it's there.
Thanks to everyone for the support, and we definitely took a chance but it paid off - as I get the details of what needs to be gathered and submitted I will add to the post.

The big five tasks I had identified to do, once I'd gotten my Naturalization Certificate, were:
Notify my employer (in case I had to do an updated I-9). Notify the DMV. Update my SSA records. Register to vote. Order my passport and passport card. This in addition to some minor incidentals like get photocopies of the NatzCert, passport photos for the passport application, etc. It turns out they no longer put a stamp on the NatzCert saying it's illegal to photocopy. So I made several full sized copies for backup and also (on the advice of one of my wife's relatives who did this with a federal firearms authorization) made a little laminated miniature wallet-sized copy, just for kicks. (It's so cute, like a widdle bittie baby NatzCert. But I digress.)
Between my interview (March 28th) and oath ceremony (June 15th) I called my employer's HR department. They looked into it and said that no, they difinitely don't need a redone I-9 or any formal notification of a shift from PR status to citizenship status. I also called the DMV and found out that, in Utah at least, they don't need immediate notification of a change from PR status to citizenship status, though they will need to see proof of legal status/citizenship when I go to renew my DL in the next few years.
My oath was on a Wednesday. On the following Monday, I went to register to vote. The next day, even though it was fewer than the 10 days after that USCIS recommend, I went to the SSA office and updated my SSA records. They needed to see the NatzCert, obviously (so do this before you order the passport) but had no problems whatsoever, and I got my new SS card (exactly the same as the older unqualified SS card I got with my two-year GC) within a week. So don't worry too much about the "10 days" rule you hear.
That left only ordering my passport and passport and card, which I'd left to last because there literally now wasn't anything else left to do with my NatzCert. I sent it off a week ago tomorrow. I think it was Thursday or Friday before my application showed on the tracking page on travel.state.gov/passport. The acceptance agent at City Hall that I handed the application to (I'd have gone to a Passport Agency except my nearest one is in Denver and I don't have proof of imminent travel plans anyways) said they're currently seeing passports come back in 3-6 weeks. So we'll see how long that takes.
TL:DR The three things you list are the big ones to do after citizenship. Do the passport last so that that way, if G-d forbid your NatzCert disappears on the way to or back from the State Department, you've used the NatzCert for everything else you can possibly use it for.
My understanding on name changes is that you update the primary identity documents - SS card and state-issued DL - first, and then you can use that combination for everything else (magazine subscriptions, car/health insurance, employer, bank, conceal-carry permits or other state-level docs, etc). That was what I'd figured out for my USC wife after we got married. For a new citizen it should be mostly the same - I assume that USCIS updates their own contact records for you with your new name based on the N-400 and NatzCert. I'd hope so, anyways!

The big five tasks I had identified to do, once I'd gotten my Naturalization Certificate, were:
Notify my employer (in case I had to do an updated I-9). Notify the DMV. Update my SSA records. Register to vote. Order my passport and passport card. This in addition to some minor incidentals like get photocopies of the NatzCert, passport photos for the passport application, etc. It turns out they no longer put a stamp on the NatzCert saying it's illegal to photocopy. So I made several full sized copies for backup and also (on the advice of one of my wife's relatives who did this with a federal firearms authorization) made a little laminated miniature wallet-sized copy, just for kicks. (It's so cute, like a widdle bittie baby NatzCert. But I digress.)
Between my interview (March 28th) and oath ceremony (June 15th) I called my employer's HR department. They looked into it and said that no, they difinitely don't need a redone I-9 or any formal notification of a shift from PR status to citizenship status. I also called the DMV and found out that, in Utah at least, they don't need immediate notification of a change from PR status to citizenship status, though they will need to see proof of legal status/citizenship when I go to renew my DL in the next few years.
My oath was on a Wednesday. On the following Monday, I went to register to vote. The next day, even though it was fewer than the 10 days after that USCIS recommend, I went to the SSA office and updated my SSA records. They needed to see the NatzCert, obviously (so do this before you order the passport) but had no problems whatsoever, and I got my new SS card (exactly the same as the older unqualified SS card I got with my two-year GC) within a week. So don't worry too much about the "10 days" rule you hear.
That left only ordering my passport and passport and card, which I'd left to last because there literally now wasn't anything else left to do with my NatzCert. I sent it off a week ago tomorrow. I think it was Thursday or Friday before my application showed on the tracking page on travel.state.gov/passport. The acceptance agent at City Hall that I handed the application to (I'd have gone to a Passport Agency except my nearest one is in Denver and I don't have proof of imminent travel plans anyways) said they're currently seeing passports come back in 3-6 weeks. So we'll see how long that takes.
TL:DR The three things you list are the big ones to do after citizenship. Do the passport last so that that way, if G-d forbid your NatzCert disappears on the way to or back from the State Department, you've used the NatzCert for everything else you can possibly use it for.
My understanding on name changes is that you update the primary identity documents - SS card and state-issued DL - first, and then you can use that combination for everything else (magazine subscriptions, car/health insurance, employer, bank, conceal-carry permits or other state-level docs, etc). That was what I'd figured out for my USC wife after we got married. For a new citizen it should be mostly the same - I assume that USCIS updates their own contact records for you with your new name based on the N-400 and NatzCert. I'd hope so, anyways!

No one ever skips NVC K1's go there to get a country specific number and to be placed in their pouch to go to their country. Once it gets there it only stays for a few days however it can take over a month to get there. California tends to send them in batches.

No. They are only concerned with the petitioner's income. Good luck!

There are no niece/nephew family visas unfortunately. They aren't considered immediate relatives.
Some people consider adoption in circumstances like these but adoption doesn't create a relationship for the purposes of immigration unless both parents are deceased.
The easiest option might be student visas, which can in principle be arranged for school-aged kids. I don't know any of the details on that though.

At my naturalization interview for the 3-year rule I was in and out in 15 minutes. I was let in 15-20 minutes early and was actually out of the building with a recommendation for approval a few minutes before my "official" interview time even hit.
The N-400 interview is really just the bureaucratic necessity of an actual human being checking your reading, writing, speaking, and civics test results, as required by the wording of the naturalization laws as written by Congress. If USCIS could figure out how to put those on a form while complying with federal naturalization law there would be as relatively few naturalization interviews as there are AOS and RoC interviews. I've never seen a reference on here to anyone failing a naturalization interview who had followed the N-400 instructions properly in the first place. It's really not something to stress about. [Generally speaking, the USCIS interviews (AOS, RoC, Naturalization) are not much to worry about if you have a "normal" case. DoS deny visa applications all the time, sometimes for arbitrary reasons, depending on your country of origin, and that can reasonably make us feel skittish right through the rest of the immigration process, but USCIS will usually only deny something if your case is way out there and/or you completely failed to read their instructions.]
Amen and +1 to getting free of USCIS. We were cleaning out my wife's purse and she had a bunch of old roadside assistance cards from our insurance company, and we were going to throw them out. A tiny part of my brain objected for a split second, worrying about "USCIS relationship evidence" until the rest of my brain remembered "Oh, yeah... we don't actually have to do that EVER AGAIN... thank you God!"
In the solidly red or solidly blue states the real power isn't voting to determine which party gets elected - that's a foregone conclusion. But you can still wield a significant amount of voter power - just register for the dominant party, whether you generally agree with them or not. Doing so does not obligate you in any way to vote for them, but does gain you access to their primaries or caucases - voting on who they put up. That's where the voter's real power is in deeply red or blue states.

I must disagree emphatically with the above post. China, Germany, Denmark and India, and many other countries, take the renunciation clause of the US citizenship oath very seriously. Upon discovering that you have taken the oath, they consider you a non-citizen retroactive to the instant you repeated those words at the oath ceremony. People are actually in jail right now in Germany for having "fraudulently" used a German passport after having thereby renounced their German citizenship. [There is a way for a German citizen to not lose their German citizenship when taking the US citizenship oath, but that's a separate issue.]
It sounds like Croatia is more like Canada - they don't take the renunciation clause seriously and consider you to still be a citizen unless you do specific denaturalization paperwork in front of a consular officer at their embassy.
When I took the oath I felt it to mean that, if there was ever a situation where I would have to choose between loyalty to Canada or loyalty to the US, I was promising to be loyal to the US. I feel attached enough to the US, and detached enough from Canada, that I can swear that sincerely. But as they say, taking US citizenship is a very important, far-reaching, intensely personal life choice, and part of that life choice is deciding if one can sincerely and honestly swear the renunciation clause, along with the rest of the oath. I would say that if you sincerely can't reconcile yourself to a reasonable interpretation of that oath, then you have no business becoming a US citizen. It's not like you're forced to, after all.
Thankfully, there is very little likelihood of America and Canada ever having seriously divergent national interests, so I don't anticipate ever having my loyalties tested to that extent. But I would be prepared to prefer the US to Canada if it came to it. If I wasn't, then I would have had no business taking the oath, in my humble opinion.
P.S. I think the likelihood of Croatia and the US ever having seriously divergent interests is pretty low too, if not quite as low as for Canada.
In specific answer to your question, the renunciation clause is absolutely NOT optional. If you tell the immigration officer at your interview you can't take that part of the oath, they will be forced to declare that you are not legally qualified to become a US citizen.

Because those people didn't have intent to immigrate on the visa when they entered the country. Usually that means that something happened after they entered, like they found out they were pregnant or got a surprise proposal. Actually what normally happens is a long overstay. It is illegal to enter the US with the intent to immigrate on a non-immigrant visa.

Depends if applying for the 3 or 5 year, 3 year can take an hour. Want all that proof you are living and paying taxes and bills together.
Ha, the USCIS states the most important issue about becoming a US citizen is the right to vote. But the two parties have this situation well in hand with ID's, redistricting, and that outdated electorial college. If you live in a state with just a handful of electorial votes, don't even care how you vote. Wife's first experience in voting was for a local election where 95% of the candidates ran unopposed! Why am I even wasting my time voting was her comment.
Greatest motivation for gaining US citizenship is to finally become free of the USCIS that has been dictating your life for the last 4-6 years.

I'm sorry to hear about the problems you're having.
After the 10 year green card, your marriage has nothing to do with being able to stay in the US. The only difference is that people who are still married to the USC spouse they got their green card through can apply for citizenship after 3 years instead of having to be a PR for 5 years like most people. If you've been a permanent resident for longer then 5 years already there are no immigration consequences to getting a divorce at all. Divorcing won't affect your immigration status either way.
Much bigger consequences could be your access to health insurance and/or HIV medication. If that's coming through your husband's health insurance and you're not working, you could be cut off after a divorce. You should definitely look very carefully at whatever public health assistance programs your state offers. A lot of states will provided basic health services if you cannot afford them. Look at your options very carefully before doing anything you can't reverse.

I had the cover letter and check up front, then the N400 and then evidence in the order I listed it on the Cover Letter.

You will get a booklet at your biometrics appointment which will have all the 100 questions you need to study. My husband just used that booklet and an app he downloaded onto his tablet (don't remember what the app is at this moment). There really was no need to take a class. They ask you 10 questions out of those 100, and once you answer 6 correctly, you have passed the test.

You are getting robbed.

The passport card is the cheapest and easiest-to-replace proof of US citizenship available to the naturalized US citizen - that's why you want one.
If my wife or daughter ever need to replace their proofs of US citizenship, they can go to the county health office, drop less than $50, and get birth certificates. We can't do that. The passport card is significantly cheaper to replace than a lost passport book, and both are far faster and cheaper to replace than a naturalization certificate.
[The card is also much more durable than either the passport book or certificate as well. It can survive a fluid spill that will positively destroy the other two.]

Never ever ever lie to the US government about anything, ever. If it's important, they will catch it. That's called "material misrepresentation". If they catch you in a lie about something important, even years later, they can revoke any immigration privileges they've granted up to that point, even citizenship!
Never lie on a form or in an interview about anything!
That said, I don't even understand why you're worried. Why on earth would they even possibly consider you being a nurse to be a bad thing?? Granted you may probably have to do some extra work to get licensed as a nurse in the US, but why on earth wouldn't you tell them you're working as a nurse now?

Never ever ever lie to the US government about anything, ever. If it's important, they will catch it. That's called "material misrepresentation". If they catch you in a lie about something important, even years later, they can revoke any immigration privileges they've granted up to that point, even citizenship!
Never lie on a form or in an interview about anything!
That said, I don't even understand why you're worried. Why on earth would they even possibly consider you being a nurse to be a bad thing?? Granted you may probably have to do some extra work to get licensed as a nurse in the US, but why on earth wouldn't you tell them you're working as a nurse now?

Never ever ever lie to the US government about anything, ever. If it's important, they will catch it. That's called "material misrepresentation". If they catch you in a lie about something important, even years later, they can revoke any immigration privileges they've granted up to that point, even citizenship!
Never lie on a form or in an interview about anything!
That said, I don't even understand why you're worried. Why on earth would they even possibly consider you being a nurse to be a bad thing?? Granted you may probably have to do some extra work to get licensed as a nurse in the US, but why on earth wouldn't you tell them you're working as a nurse now?

I just had my citizenship oath on Wednesday, and went to register to vote today.
It is not that much of a stretch to walk out of the IO's office from the N-400 interview thinking you're a citizen. The IO sometimes won't make the distinction between N-400 approval and citizenship [and the necessity of swearing an oath before you're actually a citizen] all that clear. It's quite possible to miss it, particularly if your English literacy is very weak (just this side of what's needed to pass the interview).
It is harder to see how he got out of the IO's office not knowing there would be an oath ceremony. My IO made it very clear that there was an oath ceremony and when I could expect to get the notice. He even told me that the answer to all the questions on the oath ceremony notice questionnaire were "No".
In Utah, registering to vote requires no ID. You fill out a form and mail or deliver it to an office at the county. The form asks you straight up to check "Yes" if you are a citizen, directs you not to fill out the rest of the form if the answer is "No", and has warnings of fines and jail time if you register to vote knowing you aren't eligible (in English and Spanish). They give you enough rope to hang yourself, but appear to place no real boundaries to prevent fraudulent registrations.
Apparently they do check everyone's ID at the polling place. Looking at the list of documents they'll accept, it may be theoretically possible for PRs to slip through and vote. [They're primarily looking at driver licenses, which are available to PRs.]
I don't know when or how ID is checked if you request absentee or mail in ballots.
I strongly suspect "I wasn't told I needed an oath ceremony, or that such a thing existed" will not wash, particularly given how the M-476 Guide to Naturalization describes the process in detail.
TL;DR: Lawyer up!

Plain and simply we figured itd be harder being apart as a married couple than as an engaged couple.....

If a woman is not from a machismo culture, has never lived in a machismo culture, and does not want to live in a machismo culture, then "learning about the culture" is not going to help - the more she learns about the culture, the less she is going to like it. The education process has already been a major shock to her, and it has barely begun.
You can bring the man out of the machismo, but you will never, ever, get the machismo out of the man, and the relationship will get worse and worse the longer you try.
And the converse holds true too - a man from a machismo culture will never ever be happy with a woman who doesn't "know her role". The OP's fiance knows this, has already decided that she will never "break" down to what his culture considers an acceptable feminine role, and has already planned and announced his exit strategy. He knows he will never get the "American feminism" out of her, and he has no plans to abandon the machismo of his culture.
The OP needs a man who comes from a culture where independence and strength [in the modern American/Western European sense] are acceptable characteristics for women, and the OP's fiance needs a woman who grew up in a machismo culture, and is comfortable with and totally bought in to that culture's idea of what femininity is. They will never ever be that for each other, unless one of them becomes a radically different person, and I don't see that happening.
OP: get out, and get out now. The only way this will ever work out is if one of you totally rewrites their personality, and it ain't gonna be him, and I really don't think it should be you either.

All K1 applications in eastern Canada go to Montreal, all K1 application in western Canada go to Vancouver. It's based on where you live in Canada. Unfortunately, you will have to travel to Vancouver.

I've finally got my I-751 packet put together. I've just got the cover letter and final list drafted, and I should be able to send this out later this week, and finally get this step in the journey under way. I became eligible to file in early September, but life happened, as it tends to, and it's taken 'til now to get everything organized and together.
Before I send off my package, however, I would like to make the now-traditional request for other people who are going through or have recently gone through the I-751 process to give my list and cover letter a lookover, estimate whether I have enough evidence, check to see if the writing style is good [not too formal], etc. I would really appreciate any input you all may have.
Before I started this process, I put together my own list of evidence by looking through literally dozens of similar threads in the forum archives. Comments on this cover letter won't just help me, but many others who will find this thread in the weeks and months to come.
Thank you very much.

Appointment was at 11:30. Arrived at 11:10. Got called in at 11:15.
Receptionist took interview notice, never returned it. I had warning from coworker so I photocopied mine for my own records.
Interview was in a little office in the back. Nice, easy going older guy.
Used to run a border crossing just south of Regina.
Asked whether either me or my wife had been married before.
Asked where in Canada I was from. Asked where I went to college. Asked where McGill [university] was [Montreal], as in Montana they saw a bunch of guys from McGill.
Talked about similarity of weather between Saskatchewan and Manitoba.
Asked where my grandparents were born. Answered "In Canada". He said he sometimes gets people coming through who don't knwo they're US citizens, because one or more of the grandparents were US citizens who just moved to Canada back when it took virtually no paperwork to do so.
Literacy Test:
Read: How many states does the United States have?
Write: We have fifty states.
Civics Questions:
Who wrote the Declaration of Independance - Thomas Jefferson
Who is the Commander in Chief of the armed forces - the President
Name a state that borders Mexico - California
Name 3 of the original 13 colonies - New York, Pennsylvania, New Jersey
Name the political party of the President - the Democratic Party
Name the two political parties - the Democratic Party and the Republican party
\--> Actually phrased as "What is the other political party?" as a follow-on to the previous question.
Interesting tidbit: The two groups of people who have the most difficulty with the test are people educated in the US, and Canadians, who assume they don't have to study.
Asked "How old is your daughter?" 8 months. "Too bad. She can't help you study. It's always fun when people bring in school age kids who know the answers and they don't."
Said ceremony may be as far away as June. It's too late to fit me into the April 1st ceremony, which my co-worker got.
Said answers to questions on back of oath ceremony notice are all "No".
He said "We're glad to have you" twice. "We're pleased to have you."
Was out of there before 11:30. Very positive experience.

Unfortunately, in a courtroom situation, a stack of email printouts is completely useless, ESPECIALLY if they themselves seem fine and you have only your word against hers that they are "lies". That and a buck might buy you a cheap cup of coffee, sorry to say.
Unless they are printed by the internet service provider's system administrator and are accompanied by a subpoena and a court-notarized letter to that effect, emails are just text files. They are the easiest things in the world to fake, and have no evidentiary value whatsoever!
I'm afraid it will be very, very difficult for you to show that the marriage was not entered into in good faith, and without being able to show that, your ex-wife should have no real difficulties filing an I-751 (with divorce waiver) on her own and obtaining a 10-year GC. She'll even probably get it early, if she's well-read here or is receiving good advice, because being divorced, she can file her I-751 now instead of waiting for the 90-days-prior-to-two-years mark.
She'll have to wait until the 5-year mark to naturalize, instead of being able to after 3, but that's peanuts by comparison.
Petitioners who are accustomed to the immigration system giving them some power or control over the beneficiary frequently receive this rude shock: once the 2-year GC is issued, the amount of control the petitioner retains over the process drops precipitously. Once divorce papers are signed, the amount of control goes to epsilon [as close to zero as you can get while still being distinguishable from zero.] Honestly, the desire for control manifested in the subject line is actually weak-to-moderate evidence that the marriage was entered into in good faith by your ex-wife. If this power dynamic was a part of the marriage, it was almost certainly a major cause of the divorce.
The smartest things for you to do right now are:
A ) Materially: make sure your locks are changed, she is removed from your bank accounts and credit cards and insurance, and that you do not contact or communicate with her except in public with neutral 3rd party witnesses present. Protect yourself financially, materially, and legally.
B ) Spiritually [and FAR more importantly], put every last ounce of effort you can muster into forgiving her, letting go, and wishing her well. The desire for revenge, to see her clapped in irons and loaded by ICE on the first plane to Cambodia is not only unrealistic [as in it almost certainly won't happen, see above], but harboring and encouraging that pleasant fantasy - even finding it pleasant - will in the long run do FAR more serious damage to your own soul than any consequences it will have to her. Let her go. She hurt you, and nothing can change that now, and she will have to deal with the consequences of that, in time. Desiring to hurt her back is only allowing her to do far deeper damage to you still.