CanGal

hmmm

I know your pain too. I miss home alot. I miss lots of things about home. It's been alot harder than I thought it would be. I too had my family and clan of friends and was a busy bee back home and since being here it's been an extra long vacation that gets a bit irritating after awhile. I miss home too. Hang in there, things will be alright. Just remember why you came here in the first place.

this is really hitting home for me know because I am expecting my first child and knowing that our baby won't be able to really get to know all his/her grandparents.. This is my parents first grandchild too... I really feel bad for them .... My hubby's parents have 11 grandchildren, not that they are any less excited about another grandchild but you know what I mean....

My dad will make a great grandparent and he has been waiting for awhile know for his first grandchild... I just feel like I am depriving him of that ... They will probably be there when the baby is born but they won't be able to see the baby grow up etc... only through short visits, pictures etc......

This has been the hardest thing for my parents, especially for my mom. I am yet not pregnant or anything like that but when we do have children she's gonna miss out as well and reminds me alot. Not to make me feel bad but to communicate that she's really having a hard time with the idea. I don't know what to do to reassure her or to make things better. I feel like part of me has taken a dream away from her. My inlaws already have a granddaughter, well she's a stepgrandaughter but they've seen her grow up since she was little. I just feel horrible for my parents

LOL, thanks robert! I need all the luck I can get!

Ya I guess I understand your trying to say that most strippers mentality is for money, which I probably agree with on the most part, but thats the mentality of most prostitutes too is it not? To make money, it's not so much about the sex. I knew someone who was into prostitution and she said it was never about the sex it was about the money. Well same with the stripper is it not? No they aren't selling themselves per say for full on sexual intercourse but in a sense they are still selling themselves in a sexual way. It may not be about anything about money to them but the more a guy starts flashing bills around the more attention they are going to get and sometimes thats where some people can get themselves into trouble. Just my oppinion

Oh and Mandi I want to thank you for that website

QUOTE(Alex+R @ Jul 10 2006, 07:31 PM)

QUOTE(karo112 @ Jul 10 2006, 12:43 PM)

I have Carmen Electra's striptease aerobics. Fun times.

seriously? is that fun?

the longer this topic endures, the more interested i'm getting...

There is nothing-NOTHING-more fun than to be able to shut off the tape, go into the bedroom, and put that look on one's husband's face...you know the look I'm talking about, the one we're all imagining the hypothetical man-in-a-strip-club in the thread next door to have!

And, as previously stated, it's a hell of a workout. Watch your abs! You'll find a HUGE difference very quickly!

For sure, and besides I wouldn't feel comfortable going to a club nor would I like him too so why not bring the club to him *Wink wink* lol per say. Lol ametuer night every night :-p .... Besides the more i've looked into it, I find that alot of women don't even do it for the stripping part really. They just do it for the moves and from what I've found out that alot of women get so caught up in the different moves they don't even think to strip that and it gets them into great shape and when you want to have a little fun with your hubby there's that aspect of it too.

I guess I wouldn't like it either way but I think I'd get over it much faster if he was honest and upfront about it with me beforehand. Does he go, he used too but as of now he no longer does. I don't really see the point of it. The whole Idea just makes me feel ill really and it's not the fact that I feel insecure in my relationship or about myself in any means. It's the fact that I made wedding vows to be with him and only him. I guess alot of people don't see it as cheating until there is actually physicality or sexual intercourse. I think cheating is really involving yourself in intimacies with other people besides your significant other. Intimacies emotionally, physically, mentally. I guess I don't believe in the moto just looking not touching. A man is driven sexually by visual stimulation and if he feels he needs to go elsewhere to get that rather than coming to me, I'd be upset. It's just too personal for me and sex is sacred to me. I just think nowadays it's seen as an everday thing and not so special anymore since the third party thing is becoming more and more popular and seen as ok. This is just my oppinion so not everyone has to agree. I guess I live by my own convictions religiously. God is the number one thing in my life and I honestly ask myself all the time What is it that Jesus would really do in this situation. I'm sorry but I can't see him hanging out with his homeboys in some strip joint with some stripper wiggeling her breasts in front of him while he slips in a dollar in her g string. Just not happening so because of that it's just not a place for me. I just don't get if we married the most special person of our lives that we think we need to go out and dabble around "innocently" we all think with other people. Again just my oppinion.

Alicia

Thanks you all for all the great suggestions, I'll look into them for sure!

i can tell you that women are extremely self critical ... most men wouldn't notice or care about half the stuff we worrying about (body-wise) ... how does my tummy look? do my thighs look ok? is my make-up smudged? does my hair still look cute/sexy/whatever? most men are stoked to be getting 'some'!

I agree yet sometimes it is so hard to let go lol. I found this website, the lady thats been on oprah, her name is Sheila Kelly and it's called "S factor" The website is www.sfactor.org I believe.

maybe i do want to do it more for myself i dunno, like i said i'm still exploring lol .... it's not even about stripping at all , it's more about the movements for me and hey if i can learn and surprise hubby at the same time why not!

QUOTE(slim @ Jul 8 2006, 08:24 PM)

I think most guys want a lady in the streets but a ####### in the bedroom.

I just asked my husband if that was true in his case too and he just replied "I'm not answering that trick question!"

Too funny, very smart man. MrMrsKnight I to was 18 when I met my husband in person. 16 online. I'm 21 now, I'm still very shy though we've been together for a few years. Maybe it's self confidence I don't know *shrug* lol I've come a long way but still got a ways to go. I thought this could help and I hear it's an excellent work out if for nothing else!

Okay then... Naughty it is!!!

Thank you , it's much more pleasing to read lol ...

QUOTE(slim @ Jul 8 2006, 02:24 PM)

A lady in the streets but a ####### in the bedroom

Can we say tiger or naughty instead of #######, I dunno if any women really appreciates the title ####### in the bedroom.

I'm a walking on eggshells right now because I've already faced conflicts over the phone talking about something in the past in attempt to explain or help her understand. Bethanie mentioned earlier in the post that it's better to hold off on talking too much about such issues as the past until she is here and I agree. I tend to over explain or give too much info and in the process just make matters worse.

Ya, I think the worst thing to do is try and talk about such issues over the phone. Thats no way to go about it. Like robert said, balance is the key. There is a time to say things and a time not too. To talk about such things on the phone I think is not the right way to go about it. Like I said, just be honest, and if the issue arises deal with it then. Till then I wouldn't worry about it.

First of all.... Al Bundy is an American HERO!!!!

Oh my lol

I'm sorry that your still dealing with the same pain Stina! I am hoping and praying that you will soon find out what it is that is causing all the havoc on your insides ....

CanGal

Just keep in mind us guys aren't as simple and one-tracked minded as you gals sometimes like to believe.

But also if I'm gonna put in the effort I'd at least like to get his mind on some kind of track. I don't want him thinking about football or something if I'm gonna put myself in such a vulnerable situation for him.

QUOTE(Steven_and_Jinky @ Jul 8 2006, 02:03 PM)

Just keep in mind us guys aren't as simple and one-tracked minded as you gals sometimes like to believe. We're all not Al Bundy.

If you keep divulging secrets like that, you are going to get kicked out of the men's club!!!

tee hee

You don't have to get nekkid for it to be sexy!!!

I agree!

Just keep in mind us guys aren't as simple and one-tracked minded as you gals sometimes like to believe

I really believe you on this one, I'm learning that

Where I'm coming from is I'm thinking about my fiancee coming to a strang new land, leaving everything behind, starting from scratch and adjusting to the married life. She is going to be feeling at times, out of place. Under normal circumstances, I agree that little things like a relative accidentally calling her by your former spouses name is harmless, but to her it might throw her in a dizzy. I just want to be prepared for that. I want to help her feel welcomed into this new life, into my family, and help her adjust to the changes.

It's sweet that you are really looking out for her well being and planning and trying to plan for her move here to the USA be as comfortable as possible. I guess all I can say is that you just need to be honest about your past with her. If it comes out in a way that makes her uncomfortable I guess all I can say is that you will need to deal with that then if it ever occurs. Open communication is the key and if you know where eachother stands with one another and decisions and such you've made in your pasts the more likely it is for you to move on. I would just be an open book with her daily. As long as she knows she's loved by you now I don't think you should have any HUGE issues. Least I would hope not.

and just a question, because I've never really thought about doing it before and I am kind of playing with the thought now, isn't that me kinda keeping my options open? I can't bash it till I try right? If it works it works and if it doesn't move on .... I'm not thinking about it because it's "popular per say" but because it's out there it brought it to my attention that it could be kinda fun.

Exactly what I'm saying. Nobody's going on the talk show curcuit promoting whispering in your hubby's ear as a way of turning him on because it's not as titilating as the idea of learning how to strip like a pro. I was trying to encourage her to explore her options and most importantly be herself.

I appreciate your comments. Do I find stripping sexy like say in a strip joint? No not really, not at all actually, I kind of find it sleezy. I think if it's done tastefully though in my own home within my own privacy with my husband it could be kinda sexy. I'n like luvaLimey though haha, super klutzy, I trip over everything. I run into everything and so on and such so Like I said in my first post my fear is that I will probably end up looking like a fool than anything else haha. I guess it's worth the effort. And I do agree with you Steve and Jinky that sexy is a mindset not something that someone can tell you what it is because it is different to everyone. I just thought that this might be something that could get a shock value out of him because it's probably the least likely thing he would expect me to do.

hmmmm is all i can say right now

QUOTE(CanGal @ Jul 8 2006, 06:44 PM)

QUOTE

Yes i am shy

:-p lol

Actually, I was being serious there.

I'm sorry Merc, I believe ya , really I do!

Yes i am shy

:-p lol

For the few that have PMed me, thanks for the input i'd type ya back but my comp is super slow today, it's not wanting to work with me.