CnT4ever

Hmm...I guess half my husband's family is living in sin then. They have all been married and most not registered in their country. Their imams seem to think it's fine. What about refugees? Places where Muslims live but are not considered legal? The afghans crossing the border into Pakistan? The kuwaiti "bidoons" that have no citizenship? Probably many other tribes and nomadic peoples that don't settle anywhere? Are they all living un-Islamically too?

Soffiya, you preach alot, and some of it is very intellegent and well versed...however, some of your views are not in accordance to what a majority of Muslims believe. Are you saying they are all wrong? Where do you get your ideology from? Do you follow a different sect?

You also seem to be confusing non-registered marriages with temporary marriages. They are not one in the same. While I'm sure, and my husband tells me, that some men WILL use the orfi as a "have sex without sin" card, that is wrong...but that is because the intentions were wrong. For those, like I mentioned above, it would be perfectly allowable for them. THey do marry with the intention of forever. I definitely agree with you that American women should DEMAND to be married legally so that they are not dumped once the guy has his fun and is finished with her. I just don't think it's correct to say ALL people not registered are commiting a sin. Like Lisa, I believe it's legit in God's eyes.

I know one Muslim lady that is married to a man that was already legally married. He needed another wife (as his first wife was old, not strong enough to be a full wife to him, and he was still "strong")...so he married his second wife and still kept his first one (as he considered it a shame and unacceptable to leave or divorce the woman who gave him 8 kids). He spends an equal amount of time with both and is wealthy enough to afford the upkeep of both (neither woman works). Both women are accepting of this arrangement. The second wife, the woman I know, is a divorcee with grown kids of her own. This wasn't some hot young girl he went and married for fun. He sincerely needed another companion, while still wanting to take care of the first. So he married the second woman in a religious marriage only. He has a right to 4 wives, right? So are you saying they live in sin?

I just think your argument has some loopholes. If you want, you can either ignore my post or maybe you will have a reply that can address some of my questions. Either way, I respect and agree with alot of what you wrote. Most of it, in fact.

As for Tammy, I still wish you luck and hope you don't get scammed again.

Orfi marriages are not legal, or legally sanctioned marriages in Egypt. Typically they happen between men who work in tourism and tourists (so they can stay in a hotel room together), college students (who can't afford to marry or who want to have sex), and Gulf Arabs who come to Egypt and orfi a poor country girl (then leave her when their vacation is over).

(I believe this is the temporary "muta'a" marriage - not just orfi)Sure, it's possible to sign the marriage contract and call it an engagement. That's not unusual here. However, signing a marriage contract does not constitute a marriage and for Tammy to stay with this man and his family, in their home, marriage would be a requirement.

That is why we advised her not to follow that route, because it would leave her open to being scammed. Also, it is not appropriate for her situation (like you said, she is not living in a rural Islamic town where this is normal). I just thought it was interesting to point out that it's not shameful or sinful, depending on people's circumstances. Also, seems there is confusion between temp marriages (muta'a which is often practiced by Shiite Muslims??) and simply non-registered "nikah" or "orfi" marriage.

I hope this time, Tammy, that you find happiness that is sincere and real. Hopefully this time you will be more aware and learn from your first experience and will jet out of the relationship as soon as you see something is not right. Good luck!

I don't think he's scamming you. Honestly, I don't think he's that into you. MENA men are very smooth talkers. They have a way about their language. I think he likes seeing you get all flustered from a few nice words becuase it makes HIM feel good. As for the jealousy, well I think in general that is also a MENA man trait. Not insane jealousy like the stereotype would have you think, but always a feeling of a woman "belonging" to him. It's not uncommon that he doesn't want to share your attention. Still doesn't mean that he's really taken with you. I think the fact that he doesn't want a serious relationship says it all.

I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but I think you deserve better. Also, it's better to be disappointed now than to have your heart crushed down the road, after you've given your all.

I have gotton so sick and tired of hearing from my husband, my country this and my country that. Please excuse me, you live in this country now, not that country. I am trying to do something that is right and it has to do with poor muslim people, and he wants everything to go to Morocco. He says, I know people...Well excuse me, I know people here too. Its so darn frustrating that everything always reverts back to his country! This coming from a man just talking about getting his citzenship in a year or two. Grrrrr

Same thing here.

I asked my husband about this and his answer (with my grammar ):

You can have an Islamic marriage with a contract that is written out and signed by witnesses. You can choose not to register it. However, keep in mind that by doing so, a scammer could basically say no such thing existed. That will leave you with nothing. No monetary support, etc. That is the reason most families don't do it that way. However, to say it's considered shameful...not really. In rural places throughout the Muslim world, it's actually the most common way to marry (without any government reference). Then again, those rural places don't have people trying to come to the US on a K1 visa, but people whose parents arranged the marriage who may be neighbors or distant relatives, etc.

Also, some of you are confusing orfi with muta'a marriage. Muta'a marriage is what is temporary. Not orfi. There are many imams that would say orfi marriages are perfectly halal, whereas muta'a are not. Islam does not require a government entity to make your marriage valid. Remember in the times of the caliphate, they did not seek the caliph's permission to marry. It does require the witnesses, however, and for the woman's safety and security, a contract.

Still, I would not recommend this for your situation. You are an American and you will never know, except with time, what his and his family's intentions are towards you. However, if he comes clean and marries you legally and his family is present and accepting (and throw you a wedding) than that is more assuring.

If you rush, and agree to everything (no matter how ridiculous the demand), they may see you as desperate, and therefore, "not good enough" for their son. Please keep that in mind.

Congratulations Seren!!!!!!!!!!! Your done with USCIS for 10 years!!!! (Unless you apply for citizenship )

Am I invited to this reunion Colorado?? Cause I would definitely be up for making the trip!!

How is everyone doing? Wifey's roadtest is on Monday, and she starts formal english classes at the end of this month....time is flying by!!

Of course you're invited! I'm still waiting to see who else agrees to the date/location.

Hello,

I have a question. I do not have any experience with the Islamabad consulate. A friend of mine is trying to work on immigration matters himself. I was wondering if anyone can tell me approximately how far out Islamabad is conducting interviews? He's a USC trying to bring his children (all minors). They have their CR-1 case complete with NVC yesterday. Any idea I can give him as to when to expect an interview date? I have looked at some time lines and it seems to be anywhere from 2 months to 2 and 1/2 months out from time of completion. Is this correct?

Thank you for your help!

I texted Steve, he said the resorts are open from November to April...I'm thinking then maybe February/March 2010 for a reunion. Still enough time.

Okay K3 Family...so let's get a vote on ski resort in Colorado for our reunion. All in favor? (say "I" )

I hate vegas I don't gamble and am not into those types of "shows"... but that gave me an idea. What if we do something a little earlier, while it's still winter and maybe go somewhere there is a ski resort? Colorado? Lake Tahoe? Ski lodges, fireplaces, all sound romantic to me

I certainly disagree with Obama on this issue, Afghanistan drove the USSR into bankruptcy even though Reagan wanted to take the credit for it. Charlie Wilson's War certainly revealed a lot about Afghanistan, not so much the movie, but the History channels fact base presentation of it. When the USSR left, so did we. But what the hell, it's their country, they should do what they want to do.

Still go along with the most common sense theory, that our presence there does more to create these terrorists groups than anything else. Any kind of a war in Afghanistan would be a very low tech slaughter type of a war. Just say, let's get our a$$es out of there and protect our own borders. Bush's statement about bringing the terrorist war to the middle east was stupid, just making everything a lot worse.

Not to mention that USSR also broke down into many independant countries afterwards. The same will happen to the US if we continue this or any other war. We will go bankrupt (already there) and states will start to break away from the union (like Texas is trying) and those who are left...eventually we'll all be lining up in mile long lines for bread and toilet paper.

I doubt that he'll stop in Afghanistan though. While I think he's still better than Bush, I don't think he's that much better anymore.

What are our options for cool places?

California (which area I'm not sure)

San Antonio

New York City? (Well, Candid is in NJ which is close enough LOL)

Let's discuss pros and cons?

What would be everyone's price to fly out to one of these places? NY and CA would be pretty much the same for me.

What would the hotel prices be? I'm betting NY would be the most expensive then CA.

Distance travelled? For me they are both equal. Some of you will have to travel across country to either destination.

What to see? All 3 have many things to see. NY definitely tops all for the museums and stuff like that. CA tops all for beaches (which may not matter depending when we will meet). SAT has okay museums, the riverwalk, alamo, and lots of amusement parks, but those also close part of the year (so depends again when we meet).

Weather? I'm guessing CA has the rest beat for weather. SAT will be blistering hot in the summer, but nice in winter. NY will be cold most of the year LOL.

Maybe first we need to think of a date...let us at least pick a month or 2 month range?

I'm voting for April 2010. That gives 8 months to save money for everything. Also is good weather here. Also gives everyone enough time to find a job for their spouses and get settled in and able to request time off. Let me know what you all think????

Steve, I haven't recieved a text from you since we texted each other when MJ died

Are you leaving me out of the loop?

Glad that everything is going okay. 2 jobs is okay I guess...when my husband was overseas he was working 2 jobs, one co-worker of mine said, "yeah, when you get there tell him now he's got 3 jobs " TRY not to wear yourself out though

BTW....saying your dead to me is more than likely saying you have hurt me so bad I have washed my hands with you. It doesn't always deem you want the other person dead or will kill them.

A teenager runs away from home and strangers from the internet take her in, but somehow her parents are villains.

If these people were not Christians, people would probably be calling them predators.

THANK YOU!

Sheesh, its all in the first line: The Muslim parents of an Ohio teenager who fled to Florida fearing an "honor killing" for converting to Christianity today blamed their daughter's fears on the husband and wife pastors who took their daughter in and didn't report her presence for more than two weeks

and "global revolution" is in the name of the church..sounds crazy/culty to me, sorry if that offends anyone.

I wonder if the parents can charge those people with kidnapping? If a parent kidnaps a child they don't have full custody of (which we hear about all the time) and they can be charged with kidnapping, why not these strangers?

I kind of have this certain attitude lately where parents aren't even entitled to their title as PARENTS...whenever you try to put your foot down, discipline or establish rules you end up having your kids smear your name or try to get you in trouble for what is inherently OUR RIGHT.

Yep!

Saying "you're dead to me" does not equal making a threat to kill someone.

http://www.uscis.gov/portal/site/uscis/men...00045f3d6a1RCRD

Interesting... I bet this changes within a week!

Congratulations!!! I had no doubt

I am very happy for you. Relief at last, huh?

So has anyone thought of anything yet? For our reunion?

I would love for you all to come by me. We have lots of touristy things here. Of course, I don't mind if anyone else has any other ideas. I can fit you all in my home so no hotel costs

C, have you heard from Jen? Did she make it back home safely?

Candid, check in and let us know you're okay. I wanna make sure after your last post that you're okay!

Lisa, I resent that email. Did you get it? I actually redid the whole email instead of hitting the resend button. Hopefully it went through this time Heard anything back re: work authorization? I got excited when C said her hubby's was done. However, nothing this week yet. Not even a touch

Calling Steven! Steven, where are you??? Come out from under those sheets for 5 minutes and let us know you're okay

Good luck with your interview! I'm sure you will have no issues...expecting some good news when you're done

The world is changing. The US will be a Hispanic nation and Europe will be Muslim.

And what change can we expect from the Muslim and Hispanic nations?

What exactly do you want to hear? That America will be full of lazy hispanics that don't work and drink all day? Popping out babies every 9 months and living off the white man's tax dollars? That Europe will become a sharia state? All women will be covered head to toe and chained in their husband's dungeons? While men caught without a foot long beard will be stoned to death?

I don't think that much will change. As people immigrate and their children are born and raised in the society (be it America or Europe) they adapt and slowly blend into the culture, generation by generation. Why see it as such a negative thing? If you look at history, Arabia was the center of education not long ago. From there came science, medicine, art, and poetry. As for the hispanics, look at their influence on language and music and probably many other things we don't realize.

I'd like to see it as a positive change rather than a negative one.

Sure we'd all like to see positive changes which makes me wonder where your tone about lazy hispanics living off white dollars came from.

Thats not very respectful ya know.Now would you care to address the question you pretended to answer?

"And what change can we expect from the Muslim and Hispanic nations?"

.... or maybe you just don't know about Immigration in those areas of the world?

Not eloquent in the art of sarcasm, are you? I'm posting the argument that it seems you want to hear. What changes do you want in Muslim and Hispanic countries as far as immigration? There aren't too many people trying to immigrate to those countries. So naturally they would not have the same issues as we do.

Racially offensive comments are a violation of TOS and have been removed. Don't go there.

I missed what was said, but I figured it was only a matter of time before someone violated TOS

The world is changing. The US will be a Hispanic nation and Europe will be Muslim.

And what change can we expect from the Muslim and Hispanic nations?

What exactly do you want to hear? That America will be full of lazy hispanics that don't work and drink all day? Popping out babies every 9 months and living off the white man's tax dollars? That Europe will become a sharia state? All women will be covered head to toe and chained in their husband's dungeons? While men caught without a foot long beard will be stoned to death?

I don't think that much will change. As people immigrate and their children are born and raised in the society (be it America or Europe) they adapt and slowly blend into the culture, generation by generation. Why see it as such a negative thing? If you look at history, Arabia was the center of education not long ago. From there came science, medicine, art, and poetry. As for the hispanics, look at their influence on language and music and probably many other things we don't realize.

I'd like to see it as a positive change rather than a negative one.

Working

Hubby went out alone for the first time yesterday. I was worried yet excited for him. He got home in one piece, thank God! That's all the excitement I have to report... for now

congratulations!!!

For the K3, the NVC will be forwarding your approved petition to the consulate where your husband's interview will take place. Each consulate varies, but the general scheme of things is: Consulate gets petition. Consulate contacts the beneficiary with instructions on what to submit. Look at the K3 guide and it will tell you which forms to fill out. Each consulate is different. Make sure to follow their directions (even if it's different than here). Your husband will also have to do the medical (they will tell him which docs are approved). Usually once the papers are returned to them, and everything is in order, they will schedule an interview for him. Some consulates will schedule the interview even before the papers are submitted. Again, each one varies.

Good luck! So happy for you!

BTW- Just got a text from Esposa. She is in Costa Rica now. I might call her tonight to chat for a bit.

Did she reconsile with Tucho or is she there with new friends she recently met????

Duh, nevermind...Seren, your interview is next Thursday not today...my bad

Our NOA1 is June 4th. I hope it's here soon!

I am sooooooo nervous for hubby to drive. I worry for him because the drivers here are lunatics!

By the way, did you find out about your hubby's work authorization from an email? or how?

I just checked our online account. Nothing yet.

PS- When are we gonna plan our reunion?

PPS- I miss Steven

PPPS- Seren, let us know how the interview went!

PPPPS- Jen, I miss you! Check in!