fil01

Thanks for your post, Bud. I like your suggestion. I think your idea would be a good alternative to the I-134 (petitioner) + I-864 (joint sponsor).
However, the key point is that the joint sponsor should use one of the I-864 forms because they are, in theory anyway, legally binding, whereas the I-134 is not legally binding.
The joint sponsor submitting an I-864 demonstrates to the consular officer that the visa applicant will have a joint sponsor to step up and submit the legally binding I-864 for them when they adjust their status here in the U.S.

These are my personal experiences...
> A Pinoy (Fil-Am) friend of mine was about $5000 under 125% of the poverty line, but his Filipina fiancée still got her K-1 visa from the USEM. He did not attend her interview. At her interview, the consular officer gave her an MNL-IV-22 (221g) because of his lack of sufficient income.
About one week after her interview, he sent her both an I-129 and an I-864 from his joint sponsor. He also sent the joint sponsor's supporting documents for those forms. She submitted them to the Embassy and she received her visa a week or two later.
He is in his mid-twenties, was born and raised in the Philippines, and is now a U.S. citizen who is living in the U.S. His joint sponsor is his brother. My friend was not a student at the time and he is not a college graduate. He was living at home with his mother (in the U.S.). His fiancée is not a college graduate.
> I also know a Pinoy guy who is in his mid-twenties and who went to his K-1 interview at the USEM and was approved despite the fact that his Pinay petitioner lived at home with her parents, was a college student, had no job, and had no income whatsoever. He himself was a college graduate. She did not attend his interview.
The Filipino pre-screener told him that the Embassy didn't allow joint sponsors for K-1'ers. However, the consular officer accepted the cosponsor (her parents) and he received his visa a week later.
However, I have seen Manila K-1 cases here on VJ where the petitioner attended the beneficiary's interview and the visa was approved despite the fact that the petitioner's income was low and the petitioner needed to use a joint sponsor. In some of those cases the petitioner was convinced that the visa was approved only because they attended the interview.

Here are my ideas to help you build the best case possible...
From your fiancé:
- I-134
- Six months of current pay stubs
- ITR's from the last 3 years.
- Tax transcripts from the past three years
- W-2's / 1099's from the past three years
- Employer's letter
- Notarized letter stating his promise of support
- Updated letter of intent to marry
And from his mom:
- Proof of citizenship or lawful permanent residence (U.S. passport?)
- I-134 and I-864
- Six months of current pay stubs
- ITR's from the last 3 years
- Tax transcripts from the past three years
- W-2's / 1099's from the past three years
- Employer's letter
- Notarized letter stating her promise of support
Also needed:
- This stuff.

Yes, it's good that you have a joint sponsor who is a close relative.
Also, I believe it will help your case if you bring to the attention of the consular officer the fact that you and your fiancé will have very low living expenses because you will be living with his mother.
Another thing that will help your case is that you and your fiancé are young, and that he's a college student who is about to graduate and soon will be better able to support you.
It would also help your case if you have a university degree or some other training which would make you more employable in the U.S.
Also, I believe it helps your case if your fiancé is Pinoy.

Darren, what does this mean? The part I boldened?
And are you sure it was CPS at the hospital? Or was it APS?

^^^ Darren...I have a feeling that you're not telling the whole story.
^^^ Hmmm...Gretchen "didn't want you to know"...hmmm...I have a feeling that you're still not telling the whole story.
^^^ Hmmm...a "misdone form"...hmmm..."misunderstanding"...hmmm...not doing things "properly"...hmmm...Filipinos can't understand a simple explanation about CPS...hmmm...still very vague...hmmm...I'm still waiting to hear the rest of the story. Answering B_J's question would be a good start...
^^^ That's what it sounds like to me.
^^^ I'm thinking the same thing.
Darren...Here's a standard form many hospitals use to check for depression. Is this the one Gretchen filled out, or is it similar?
Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale.

What I noticed to most of Darren's post is that whenever his wife actions are different from what he thinks she should act, he blame it to Philippine and his wife's village.
It's like.... "Jackpot! I'm 40+ and going to marry 19 years old girl.".... Then... "Holy #######! She doesn't know anything because she's from Philippines."

it's a very simple concept. why is it so difficult for you to explain it to your wife?

You forgot to mention Darren's constant posting of misinformation, his serial stereotyping, not to mention all of the other BS he's been posting since he's been on VJ. According to iraqvet, we should accept Darren's poor behavior in silence because it makes Darren happy, and Darren is the only one who should enjoy himself here on VJ. Such logic!

I am pretty sure Darren is in no physical danger right now or at any time posting on VJ. And i am 100% positive that none of the members on VJ wish to dish out physical harm to Darren as well. Darren is a big boy. I am sure he can handle the pressure and stress of the regular people on VJ who dissect his posts. I am sure if the way the members were doing it was causing grief for Darren he would probably step and say something to the members. I am only assuming that you do not live in his spare bedroom and if that is the case you need to relax. Darren can handle himself and is mature enough to handle his business on and off VJ.
Dude your last two sentences before addressing B_J made me laugh at you. We all know that you are the toughest guy on the planet and that you use peoples bodily fluids after pummeling them to steam iron your clothes everyday, but really there is no fight here. Just relax, light a candle and go take your daily evening bubble bath and go to bed.

You're joking right? So since you have been trolling for so long on Vj, you would have seen some of his racist remarks. And you think that is a misplay in words? You pretty much hijacked Darren's thread and threw it in the garbage. I would think thatvwith so much love for Darren you would have respected his thread.

I figured you would lash out in anger with a childish response. That's OK though. Like any child, I would rather have you try to use your words to express yourself than to use your fists.
As for your misguided idea of "common sense," I suggest you read Darren's posting history, his latest thread, and B_J's common-sense answer before you dig yourself in any deeper. You really need to ask yourself why it is that Darren always has these dramas in his life.
By the way, Paramedic(918) has a great question...you might want to give it some thought...

I don't think I've seen anybody go off on Tahoma like that. Please, go ahead and research more of his comments. I'll predict that you won't find anybody in the Philippines forum who has helped more people. Go ahead, check the posting history of Tahoma and compare it to Darren's, and then decide whose back you want to have.
Here's the problem with everything you've just said. I'm sure that, considering the location of Darren and Gretchen, the hospitals see lots of people who struggle with the English language. I'm pretty sure the hospital finds it incredibly common for a patient to need help speaking with the medical staff. I can't believe that the language issues would cause them to possibley believe that he is dominant over his wife. If you think rationally, you'll realize that there must have been other issues that led them to their concerns. And, if you do the research that was suggested, maybe you'll understand why the hospital was concerned.

I agree with this only.
Dude relax, this is not Iraq. Put the guns down! Your probably ready to shot your computer. Your the only one on the thread that is pissed. Why?

What seems weird to me is your over-reaction to Evylin's comment. What is it exactly that you find "normal" about a hospital believing a man is behaving in a dominant manner over his wife? I find it disturbing.
Also, you must have used a crystal ball to conjure up Evylin's motivations for her comment. I find that equally disturbing.
I'll let B_J answer your diatribe because he said it best...
Thanks, B_J

To the OP:
Darren, I don't want you to send a private message for my opinion as I want other American husbands and Filipina wife here in visajourney to know that your case is based on you and your wife and is nothing to do with for being an American and a Filipina.
Based on your previous post information, your wife is 19 years old when you got marry, and before she be able to adjust here in US, she got pregnant and now you have baby. Before meeting you, she lived all of her life in the province, she have little experience of what life is outside her comfort zone. At her age and living in the province, she wasn't even starting to explore the real life, and you brought her in a whole new environment. She's still naive and doesn't know so much outside her comfort zone, which explains why she always rely on you when she caught in something she couldn't comprehend.
Your wife lived in a rural area of the Philippines and no way to learn the things you consider in the Philippines. By some of your post, you seemed pissed off that your wife doesn't know so much about life and you always need to guide her, that's the price of marrying young women with little experience of how complicated life is. I am grown up woman with degree and career and very dependent, and yet I still consider myself lacking of lot knowledge on living here in US. I still rely on my husband to help me understand various issues here in US, and step-up when I can't comprehend.
So, whatever is your wife ordeals, it's your responsibility to help her overcome it. Don't think it's a cultural thing. Since, you're far older and obviously have more experience in life, you should be more proactive on what she might need because she might not know that she needs it. It's nothing unusual to talk to someone you trusted most first. Your wife rely on you as you're the only close family she have here in US, but it doesn't mean she trusted you enough to understand her, she's young and you basically still starting to live together, it will take time for her to have confidence to tell you what she really feels and ready to accept the consequences if you don't understand her.
When me and why husband first learn that I am pregnant, he worried that I might get depression but I didn't as my life is pretty busy to feel sad on anything. He makes sure that he is aware of my needs and consider a lot of adjustments as every pregnant women is different. We both read books about pregnancy and asked friends and family on what should we expect. Even with all the learning we did, we still feel that we're not ready of any situations that may arise due to having a baby. And it has nothing to do with different culture but going to be a new parent.
So what you are experiencing right now is something to do with your individuality as being couple, your own perspective on how to deal with issues and your personal assessment. It has nothing to do with difference in culture, or the practices between US and Philippines.

This can be true, but it is also classic manipulative cloaking over abusive behavior. It's called "playing the servant role". One of the other classics is the manipulator controlling communications between the people he is manipulating. The language/cultural differences can be true, but it can also be a thing exploited by a control freak. He claims nobody can understand her, and she can't understand anyone else. So communications both ways have to be controlled by Mr. Control-Freaky.
Our instructions on predatory manipulators say they choose their quarry carefully: seeking out people who will let them get away with it. Abusive spouses tend to end up with people who accepted abuse in childhood. It is called self-selection bias. Independent, strong-willed people reject control-freaky actions so those relationships end, while people who have had this in their lives actually find a comfort in the familiarity of it, so they stay with a guy when another girl would be running for the hills.
If you have no father, then you have no example to go by, and are handicapped relative to girls who had great fathers. If you had an abusive father, it is much higher potential for disordered thinking, and the perpetuation of the problem on through the next generation. If you've stayed in the Philippines for any length of time you have seen daughters who were told growing up that their duty was to bring home the bacon for everyone else. They are on Filipina Cupid or whatever listing themselves as "18 yo stunner wants family rescued from poverty". Youth and beauty can do that on its own. But when it is following the guidance of the wrong person then whoever shows up with the first boat wins.
Who knows. The information we get has all gone through the ministry of propaganda before release.

NOW is the time you have to stop broadcasting stuff about your wife online. As have other's said view your wife as individual and stop generalizing Filipina's from province cause everybody's different. All the posts you started (except immigration related) should be discussed/addressed as husband and wife instead of posting it here, it don't really solved anything whatever issues you have on your marriage/wife. I understand you want to help people by telling your experience but the most important thing really right now is to HELP your wife and it is only be achieved by TALKING to her with everything. You will never understand your wife if you keep posting stuff in here instead of addressing it to her or help her learn with everything. I will be willing to talk to her, help her and just talk about everything. I can be her friend. Shoot me a message. Congrats with the baby!

I want to make sure I understand. Are you saying that the hospital was checking for signs of depression during the past 7 days and Gretchen has been experiencing those same symptoms of depression the entire time she's been in the US? And you made sure she was not prescribed anti-depressants?

Darren, deep breathe...... My wife to be is in a fishing province exactly like yours and your family by marriage is not like my soon to be family by marriage. Yes, boat for trasportation, fiahing for income and food, they like rice, tchismose... But your way off on all ther other points and you keep saying my wife to be is lime yours, get off it!!! An increadiable point was made a few posts back and that is describe and look at your wife as a person who is different from other people. Stop attaching all the extra ####### lime where she is from.. All peope are different, even if their next door neighbor's...
I see your requeat for educational responses and great feedback but that is very hard to do with your threads. My advise to you would get your threads proofread and also let your wife sit with you and explain everything you are writing, I KNOW your not doing that.
At my last job we were out of touch with management and corporate because we were scattered across the world. Our only means of interaction and communication were done via e-mail. We had a few guys getting fired over the years for having a little too much to dring and voicing the true opinions. The joke was we needed a breathalizer on our computer to blow into before bring allowed to hit the send button. I'm still in the initial stages of finding that unique machine that I will develop for you before you hit the send button.
Lastly, look at the people who you get most of the arguements and bad responses frim. It's filipino's who know alot more about their country and cultures than you and I. Also from people who have spent quite a bit of time therethat know alot more about the people than you do. It still amazes me that you don't get that. And this is 100% of your problem in these threads, you have blinder's on and you don't listen to anyone. If you keep posting things that aren't true and generalizing that my wife to be is like that, there will be quite a few thread bans for sure!!!!!!!

Darren, this statement is creeping me out.
What "warning signs" (specific to your situation) did the hospital report for "investigation"?
Are you advising people to cover up "warning signs" to avoid investigation?

Here is a thought. Instead of generalizing that every Filipina is like your wife, and your wife's family is like every family in all the provinces, and and your wife's village is like all the rest.. why not see your wife as a individual? She chooses to be like that, perhaps she was raised like that, and that's okay.. That's why you fell in love with her, and that's what you like about her. It doesn't mean we are all like that. My mom was raised in a village, a province, and yet she is nothing like her, neither is her family like your wife's. Nothing wrong with that, the one cool thing about humans is that we all have different qualities and attitudes. :)That goes with every culture!
Okay, done with my little rant.. other than that, you did post some valid points, like knowing drugs etc, and having an interpreter for those not adept in English.

My wife would slap me on the back of my head if I walked in front of her, and she is from Negros Occidental.

I have never heard of the wife walking behind the husband as normal.. even in the provinces. The Philippines is actually a very matriarchal society. (Except apparently where your wife is from) Othee than that, glad your ordeal is over and your wife and baby are safe and healthy.