trinket

I feel gender do matter. A Muslim male from India is more likely to get an AP compared to a Muslim woman. So yes in some countries it does matter.

I didn't change my last name after marriage because I don't want to. In India it is common for women to change their last name, but I got issues with that, I just feel like you are giving up your identity and I wasn't ready for it, my husband doesn't care about name change so it wasn't an issue for us.

I am Female foreigner and the journey was a breeze for us, though it was stressful because I love stressing out over small things.

Am I mean because I totally hate it when I call people up to talk and after a while they put their toddlers on phone to say "hi" to me. I am always lost at what to say to a kid and I didn't call to talk with the kids. My FIL always do that and also one of my friends

Gave me a chuckle reading your quote, sachinky (ok what is your other name; sachin is for Sachin Tendulkar I know and I feel uneasy every time I call you sachin )

My husband was the same, he just couldn't grasp the whole process, I was so bummed when we got the NOA-2, I was shouting my lungs out and he was like-- "so what just happened??"

Is it weird that I did my monkey dance and I was more excited when I got the news of NOA-2 rather than the actual interview approval. I remember when the CO said I am being approved I was like -- ok, whatever, let me just get the hell out of this consulate for now .

I'm the non-USC wife in the picture. Hubby is still trying to understand the process. I lost him while trying to explain the NVC stage.

No big plans, on NYE will go to a German restaurant "Gerst Haus" which is only a couple of blocks away from our apartment, will get drunk, listen to other folks sing and all.

And on NYD, will try to cook something nice. I don't want to bake pumpkin pie, just want to buy it from the store but Joe insist he wishes for home made, will see what I will do depending upon how good he behaves these next days

So the 4 day weekend is over and all I did was a lot of online shopping, slept through out, worked out a little bit and youtubing. I didn't have to cook this weekend because on Wednesday Joe's boss did an awesome bbq and we munched on the left over for 4 days.

Sachinky, I love biryani but I can't stand biryani's from Calcutta because of their generous use of kevda water.

I really don't have much ideas about k-1 but I think I have read somewhere that you can extend your dates, might be good if you contact DOS on how to extend the expiry date?

Wish you best you guys still will have around a month's time before it expires, so not everything is lost.

Wow some posters out here might help if you guys learn how to be a bit tactful.

phopho06, can you get a job? I know you are living in the country side, so there might not be many jobs but you can try some tavern or helping someone in there farm? May be your husband will oppose to this too, how about having your own garden, I would assume you might have some land in your backyard. May be go to the library with your husband, select some books on gardening, start reading them now and then once spring comes you can start your garden. Or just anything to occupy you.

You are in a marriage, I personally would get out of a marriage like this where I am being trapped, but I do understand some people might want to work towards saving it and from your posts it looks like you are asking for ideas of how to save it. Whatever submissive-dominant role playing situation you are in, if you do want to continue living that, then you have to find alternatives to find peace with it. So find yourself a hobby which you think your husband won't have problem with, which you can do from home, he won't have reasons to be jealous of things.

If not gardening, how about sewing/painting/scrap booking, just anything which will keep you occupied. Also with that large age difference have you thought what will you do if your husband dies suddenly? How are you going to support yourself? You have to think about this factor too.

I wish you best and hope you don't feel bad about the slamming towards you by a few posters.

I don't mean to be rude but here is my opinion:

The main thing I see is you're trying to find excuses to get out now you've "put up with him" for 2 years. It honestly reads like you got into this relationship for the greencard.

Also, speaking in a foreign language with someone who doesn't speak it around you is EXTREMELY rude, like EXTREMELY rude. I personally would feel like you're trying to keep secrets and laughing about him behind his back.

a 40 year age gap IS huge but my parents have been happily married for almost 30 years with a 40 year age gap so this is not an excuse. This is the people, not the relationship or age-gap.

As for the internet "limit".. if you were in Australia I would understand that as we have a limit, but in the US 99.9% of internet plans are unlimited.

I think a lot of people saying that it's fear of losing you are correct. You constantly on the phone, talking in another language with him around.. these would worry him that you're plotting leaving. There's obviously a lack of trust here and I truly hope that you can sit down and talk to him about it and sort it out.

Good luck.

And why would be extremely rude? So one leaves their home country and everything and when they talk over the phone to their relatives they need to speak in English? Why? My grandma can't speak English, my other relatives can but I am accustomed to talking in Hindi or Bengali with them, I don't have to change my ways to make sure someone else don't thinks I am hiding something.

Say you meet up with an Ausie at some restaurant, wouldn't you talk using Aussie slangs? or Use words like -- Mate all the time? It will come naturally. The other spouse has to be understanding in this situation and why would one assume that just because I am talking in some other language I have things to hide, it could be about comfort level.

In this case, husband is insecure for sure, they both need counseling.

I had people warning me about things, and so did people on my husband's side warning him about how I am marrying him for GC and all I want is to bring my whole village to US.

Thankfully people who warned weren't close enough to be taken seriously or even being considered. Opinions are like a$$, everyone has one.

You can't do medical till the time you don't get interview letter, as you have to show the interview letter during medical exam. About PCC it will really depend upon the district you are at, for me it wasn't important to show any papers regarding interview, but it took me 1 month's time to get the PCC, but I have heard from others (especially people from Gujurat) how they have to show NOA-2 before getting the PCC.

PCC is valid for 1 year, so if you think you can get it now and you will have your interview within that time frame then go for it.

Mumbai consulate doesn't allow the USC petitioner to enter inside the building, so technically there is no need for the USC to be at the interview, but the more visits you have made to see each other the more stronger the case is, it is always is a good idea for the USC to be near by, if by chance something happens you can always get inside the consulate for a second interview and get things sorted out.

About PCC, your SO will need 2 PCC, one from passport office and another one from district police office, go to visajourney's PCC galary and I have posted both my PCC there, you will get an idea of what a PCC looks like.

Hearing about everyone else's happy, sappy, romantic stories is something I always enjoy. So come and share yours here.

--Can you pinpoint the moment where you fell in love with your SO or thought to yourself, "this is it! He/she is the one!"

We met online but that "this is it" moment was when we met face to face for the first time, I knew the person was for real, all the bad habits, all the annoying things he shared with me online were for real, there was no sugar coating in his character.

--Would you characterize your love as "love at first sight/ I knew it in my gut" or was it something that grew over time and you were surprised to find yourself suddenly in love?

It wasn't love at first chat or anything, actually for a while I didn't even see him as a dating kind, he was so into books (still is) and was a serious type of a person, I on the other hand am very carefree kind but eventually as we started spending more and more time together we realized all the common thing we share and also all the uncommon things we can deal with. His humor side came across a bit later but when it came it was much more stronger than I expected.

--Tell ONE thing you absolutely love about your SO and would never change!

I have great respect and admiration for how Joe never gives up, without getting into details that man has been through a lot, being homeless, to getting into major accident and other family problems. I love the fact that he never blamed anyone for whatever situation he got into, he never sought out for any help from any individual or agency.

He always says this line-- when you have gotten down this far, the only way is UP. And he truly believes in it. This is something which I will never forget, even if one day we part our ways, I will always have my respect for him for not giving up.

--What is ONE activity that you love doing with your SO, apart from engaging in tonsil tennis, of course!

I enjoy playing chess or dominoes with him and basically beat him up and then keep telling him how he s*cks

We go out for long walks which we both enjoy, I guess I enjoy almost everything we do together other than a few of the annoying habits he got (popping my pimple, fart bombing)

oh yeah, trinket, my husband was very excited when i told him you were from his hometown

tsk tsk, I am not really from his hometown, but yes I have been there numerous times as I have many relatives living there

pati & patni

fingers crossed, sachinky. hope he will get the job.

congratulations sara.

My day has been alright so far, we are trying to buy one of the cheap foreclosed homes. out here you can buy a decent home for $20k or there are some which go for $5k. we did put an offer to one home for $13k, but now me and hubby are having second thoughts about that home, it needs a lot of repair, roof, insulation, electric lines. We are going to go with an inspector this evening to see how much the estimated cost would be. Joe has his heart set on this property because of its location and how big it is (2800 sq feet) plus its in a nice neighborhood. I just hope estimated repair cost would be bearable enough, don't want to get into a money pit .

She is a cutie Merry Christmas to your family.

How sweet, she gets the multi pack bar soap for mom

I'm sorry, just seems sooooo absurd to me, wife having to ask the husband to buy an extra bar of soap... so she does not have enough access and freedom to your joint account to buy an extra bar of soap? She has to ask you??

I guess it's my "independant western" mind running away with this again, but dang... am I glad I can get in my own car, drive where the heck I want and buy my own damn soap, what a great feeling and something we should all be thankful for that aren't in that situation...

I think your response was a bit over the top. It's not always about submissive or dominant relationship if one spouse asks another before buying anything. For example my USC husband bought a book from amazon this weekend, but before buying it he actually waited to ask me if he should buy it or not, the book was only $6 including shipping.

Now in this case my husband is the bread earner, he didn't need to ask my opinion, but he did, and I do the same with almost everything. Now if I go out and buy something, I don't have to ask his permission for, but surely when I get home I do let him what all I shopped. It is about sharing.

Hindi - Shub Naya Baras

That actually means "Happy New Year"

Bada din sabko mubarak ho

Good luck to your sister and her husband Sara

twisted-- apko bhee christmas mubarak ho

I need to go out and run some errands, but I don't want to go out in this cold. Since I don't drive I have to walk to these places.

I do watch a lot of suspense, scary movies. Hmmm I can think of a few I recently watched which were I enjoyed-- The skeleton key, Mist. I think all time favourite would be -- The others.

In my four years in the U.S., I can't even remember how many times I was asked if I were Mexican. "Habla espanol?" While waiting at Port Authority one man was insistent that I was Jamaican and that I should have a drink with him no matter how many times I replied to the contrary.

I do have to agree with you, Trinket. I feel a lot more "judging" and staring from fellow Indians (in the U.S.) because of my white (then) boyfriend. I don't know if I'd say it was racist, but more of a "Look at her selling out with a white boy" thingie. Bizarre. In India, it was more curiousity than anything else. No one came up or asked us anything about it though. I'd like to think people in Calcutta are quite open-minded.

I haven't experienced this in the US yet but I'm almost a freaking celebrity in my fiancee's circle in India lol. Not too many people looked at him funny because he was with a white girl. We met everyone he knew and walked the streets. We got stares but his whole family was very accepting and his friends all ask about me and talk about me. I was a bit surprised about how well accepted I was there, but that could have been because I was really only around his friends. When out and about together we got a few strange stares and some laughs that upset him, but mostly we didn't see any of that.

Funny how the Indians here would stare at you more. I can't help but think how so many Indian men go back to India to find a bride and there are news stories about how they feel American Indian women are too Americanized and prefer Indian women. So if they feel like Indian women are so much better than American women, why would they look at you and your husband funny lol. After all...he did what they think is best - go to India for a bride....... Looks to me like they would be on his side.

Oh no! don't you know the Indian women who marry white/black/yellow guys are worse than westernized Indian women living in West??? The ones who marry anyone other than Indian is apparently have sold their culture, they are too forward, oh and may I say they are total slvts because you know a white guy is only about drinking and partying .

Now I wonder when my partying husband is ever going to take me out to party. I feel cheated dammit

hey amby, I am on your list but I can't see it either, you can gross me out as much as you want

We are not Christian but I love celebration of any kind. I have missed all my other festivities this year, but I am in a good mood for Christmas. My husband is kind of a hermit, so he doesn't really celebrate anything, but I know he will put up with me if I do a few things.

Soooo, I got some bells to hang on the doors, got a few knick knacks to put around the house, will make a nice meal for the day and will have loads of eggnog with whiskey cuddle up, watch some movies together.

Things are looking pretty good right now, tomorrow is Joe's birthday, I have been busy shopping this morning. Shopping makes me feel good, did some online shopping too, fountain pens, books and some jewelery