venusfire503

We also met on MySpace - May 2006. I should do a poll about this - where people met....

venusfire

He did have a problem getting a job until he started using an American name. On his resume, he now puts his first-name initial, then "John" (his unofficial middle name), then his 'last' name.

The worst was the officer in the airport who interviewed him, and then me, when he first got here (Dec 2006) - she said some horrible things about Moroccans (that they beat up their wives, steal their money, then run off). After insulting me (about my looks, age, and weight) and saying I didn't have to marry him and could send him back without penalty, etc, she said something about going back there after 2 years, crying to her because he'd leave. It kind of ruined the excitement of his arrival.

Anyway, other than that, it's been varied. Some people have been really excited to talk with him, because he's from exotic Morocco. Others (including some family/friends) have been visibly uncomfortable around him unless/until they got to know him. Nothing was said outright, but I've seen many of these people around other new (but 'the same kind' of) people (as them), and it wasn't the same. Irritating, really.

This was kind of funny - my kids thought he was 'black' because he's not "European white". I say he's dark white - heehee (just kidding). The weird thing was trying to explain to one of my sisters that he really IS caucasian. I actually had to google 'caucasian' and send her the link. I think she's still not convinced.

I'm sure many of you have experienced/witnessed this - the almost obligatory "so, how do you like it here?" when meeting people. It's odd how such a simple question can be so complicated. Poor guy doesn't know how to answer. If he says he loves it, he could get a comment about how the US is so much better than his country, or get that "oh, it was the greencard" look. If he acts less than thrilled, he might get the "then go back to your own country" thing. So he says something about loving to be here with his wife. I often add how I told him before he got here that there would be things he'd love about this country, and some things he wouldn't love. Which is true (for USCs as well as the SOs)!

The good thing is, the people we spend time with (of course) aren't a problem. We just are never sure of the reactions of strangers.

It's much easier now. When he first got here, he couldn't really understand (or be understood by) anyone other than me. He often felt like people were staring at him when we went anywhere. Now, his English is not a problem, and he doesn't feel like he's on display. I'm really happy about that - and impressed with him.

This is an interesting idea for a topic, betazed!

venusfire

That's wonderful! Enjoy!

It's always nice to hear good news.

venusfire

This will probably be an unpopular post, but I wanted to just add something. We don't know the OP. Yes, maybe it's an ungrateful son or daughter who just doesn't care about dear old dad. On the other hand, perhaps dear old dad is the problem. It says the dad won't work, and apparently has no health insurance. OP probably can't get insurance for dad (although it would be a good idea to look into it - I was able to insure my husband directly through Aetna, since I can't put him on my policy), and is concerned that he will get hurt or sick. As I've learned, many people who are having severe financial problems are having them due to medical problems. I know of at least 2 people who are finding themselves in a bind because of medical bills, and both of them have both income and health insurance. They both have children with medical needs that are not anyone's fault, and are extremely expensive (and insurance does not cover everything). I am a mother of 3. I love my parents, and would do just about anything for them. However, if I was financially responsible for them and one of them refused to get health insurance, I can't imagine I'd want to make the choice between their needs and the needs (food, clothes, a home) of my children. All of us who are USC sponsors run the risk of financial ruin by bringing someone here to this country. I'd be willing to bet that 99% of us think it won't/can't happen to us. And that's probably true in most cases. But what happens to OP and children if dear old dad gets hurt or sick, and ends up applying for and receiving means based benefits, then gets caught? OP, who it sounds (like most people) is a little tight financially, will then have to figure out how to support a family as well as pay back Uncle Sam. It's a tough spot to be in.

I think the OP is just concerned about the future. Again, I love my parents, but they taught me that my children come first. I think we need to take care of our parents, but I also feel that responsible parents do not burden their adult children unnecessarily. It sounds like the OP's dad is able (more or less) to take care of himself right now. Asking "can I deport him" was a little ... blunt for my tastes. I think what OP really wants to know is "how can I protect myself and my children from possible financial ruin?"

OP is not the first who wants to find a way to avoid major financial hardship as a result of sponsoring someone. I don't think there's a way out, however. OP has my sympathy for the predicament. As I said, it could technically happen to any of us (with children, as well as 'beneficiaries'). My dad had a saying that we don't determine our futures. We all take our risks, it's just that most of us 'get lucky'. I thank God that many of my risks turned out ok. I've had some problems that weren't my fault, and they cost me dearly - financially and otherwise. Yes, I complain about it. But I deal with it anyway. Don't really have any other choice. At the same time, I really do feel bad for others' misfortunes, and understand others' concerns. Even when they don't express them in the best way, let's say.

venusfire

P.S. OP probably hasn't come back because of the responses. I most likely wouldn't. In case OP ever reads these posts - my advice - look into getting dear old dad a health insurance policy. It might be affordable, or at least more affordable than any medical bills.

VJName...............Date of I-751.....NOA1 Date.......Biometrics......Approved

=========================================2007==================================

Baunzerbrudi ........05/11/07..........05/19/07........06/14/07........--/--/-- (<TSC 02/22/08)

RAK..................05/17/07..........--/--/--........06/21/07........--/--/--

October07-i751.......10/12/07..........10/27/07........11/24/07........--/--/--

Peter&piper .........10/15/07..........10/23/07........03/11/08........--/--/--

Jodyangel ...........12/12/07..........12/23/07........--/--/--........--/--/--

Kingofdallas ........12/14/07..........01/11/08........02/14/08........--/--/--

Gaijin ..............12/17/07..........12/28/07........02/07/08........--/--/--

Erica&Terry..........12/20/07..........12/26/07........02/21/08........--/--/-- (<TSC)

=========================================2008==================================

Tjones298............01/10/08..........01/22/08........02/02/08........05/07/09 (<TSC)

Edall................01/28/08..........02/16/08........03/01/08........04/09/09

Daisy16 .............02/05/08..........02/14/08........03/22/08........--/--/--

Maryces21............02/15/08..........04/15/08........03/26/08........04/22/08 (<TSC)

JndAmd...............02/18/08..........03/??/08........03/??/08........--/--/-- (<TSC)

Gemini12nj...........02/29/08..........--/--/--........03/11/08........--/--/--

Rajthebam ...........03/03/08..........03/12/08........07/08/08........--/--/--

Tex'n'Brit ..........03/07/08..........04/03/08........04/17/08........--/--/-- (<TSC)

MandR................03/14/08..........--/--/--........04/17/08........--/--/-- (<TSC)

CanGal...............04/06/08..........04/15/08........05/03/08........--/--/--

Daveanddaisy.........04/21/08..........05/02/08........06/27/08........--/--/--

KingCan..............04/21/08..........05/29/08........06/17/08........05/06/09(<TSC and >VSC)(RFE 04/13/09)

Jesti................05/01/08..........05/21/08........05/28/08........04/08/09

Bonny................05/05/08..........05/12/08........06/17/08........--/--/--

Cliff_Ksenia.........05/08/08..........05/13/08........06/12/08........04/08/09

Abdirashid...........05/09/08..........05/29/08........07/03/08........04/09/09

PAUL.................05/12/08..........05/13/08........06/18/08........04/08/09 (<TSC)

Rigoletto............05/20/08..........05/29/08........06/14/08........04/05/09

J&js.................05/25/08..........06/09/08........07/26/08........--/--/--

Bdsmusa..............05/28/08..........--/--/--........06/04/08........04/20/09

Jenn!................05/30/08..........06/06/08........07/15/08........03/11/09 (>CSC 02/11/09)

KikiDoug.............06/02/08..........06/10/08........07/24/08........04/12/09

Forever in Love......06/03/08..........06/10/08........07/15/08........04/16/09

Peggy................06/03/08..........06/10/08........07/15/08........--/--/--

Gerard...............06/05/06..........06/13/08........07/17/08........03/16/09 (>CSC 02/11/09)

Anyta Holland........06/??/08..........06/20/08........08/09/08........03/18/09 (>TSC and >CSC 02/11/09)

Wannabe_Texan........06/10/08..........06/17/08........07/22/08........03/18/09 (>CSC 02/11/09)

S.vincent............06/11/08..........06/23/08........08/07/08........03/03/09 (>CSC 02/11/09)

Siddharth18..........06/11/08..........06/24/08........07/23/08........--/--/-- (>CSC 02/11/09)

Cheeky^Wolf..........06/17/08..........06/30/08........08/09/08........02/28/09 (>CSC 02/12/09)

Lovelysummer1982.....06/18/08..........06/24/08........07/31/08........--/--/--

Dara.................06/21/08..........--/--/--........07/31/08........03/16/09 (>CSC 02/11/09)

Canuck Carrie........06/30/08..........07/15/08........--/--/--........03/09/09

Steph1010............07/01/08..........07/10/08........08/12/08........05/04/09 (>CSC 02/25/09)

Liz10976.............07/01/08..........07/08/08........08/21/08........04/13/09

Cherr1980............07/01/08..........07/03/08........08/02/08........--/--/--

Charsiimogen.........07/05/08..........07/09/08........08/14/08........05/11/09 (>CSC 02/25/09)

LastSurvivor.........07/07/08..........07/12/08........08/13/08........04/30/09 (>CSC 02/25/09)

Craig2006............07/09/08..........07/11/08........09/16/08........03/20/09 (>CSC 02/25/09)

Keltic/Tobester......07/11/08..........07/15/08........08/21/08........--/--/-- (>CSC 02/27/09)

Annie Pie............07/1?/08..........07/22/08........08/26/08........04/29/09 (>CSC 02/25/09)

Cartman08............07/16/08..........07/22/08........08/26/08........03/20/09 (>CSC 02/25/09)

Roi_aggie............07/21/08..........07/25/08........08/27/08........04/17/09 (>CSC 02/25/09)

CherryXS.............07/21/08..........07/25/08........08/22/08........--/--/-- (>CSC 03/18/09)

Isleta521............07/24/08..........07/28/08........08/25/08........05/01/09 (>CSC 02/25/09)

Bahamas124...........07/24/08..........07/29/08........08/26/08........04/24/09 (>CSC 02/25/09)

Zauberblume..........07/26/08..........07/30/08........09/09/08........03/16/09 (>CSC 03/12/09)

Twellspeak...........07/28/08..........07/31/08........08/28/08........05/07/09 (>CSC 03/12/09)

Italian_in_NYC.......07/30/08..........08/06/08........08/26/08........04/23/09 (>CSC 02/25/09)

Birdlover2008........07/31/08..........08/05/08........09/11/08........--/--/-- (>CSC 03/02/09)

Triniwaiting.........07/31/08..........--/--/--........08/26/08........04/28/09 (>CSC 02/25/09)

Shakysgirl...........08/05/08..........08/08/08........09/10/08........04/??/09(>CSC 03/03/09)mail 04/08/09

R&W..................08/10/08..........08/13/08........09/10/08........04/17/09

Blessed N Favored....08/11/08..........08/15/08........09/13/08........--/--/-- (<TSC and >CSC 03/02/09)

Silver...............08/15/08..........08/19/08........10/01/08........03/31/09 (>CSC 03/02/09)

Gatorfan.............08/16/08..........09/05/08........10/02/08........--/--/-- (<TSC and >CSC 03/04/09)

AntandD..............08/18/08..........08/22/08........09/24/08........04/15/09 (>CSC 03/02/09)(Walk-In Bio)

Bilson4real..........08/19/08..........--/--/08........--/--/09........04/16/09 (>CSC 03/04/09)

Mavie_77.............08/19/08..........08/26/08........09/16/08........--/--/--

Rebelheart...........08/20/08..........08/26/08........10/03/08........05/13/09 (<TSC and >CSC 03/11/09)

TheGman..............08/20/08..........08/21/08........09/25/08........02/18/09

Ivancho1231..........08/25/08..........09/05/08........10/02/08........--/--/-- (<TSC)

GinFar...............08/27/08..........09/04/08........10/04/08........--/--/-- (>CSC 03/05/09)

KiminON..............08/27/08..........09/03/08........09/29/08........05/12/09 (>CSC 03/10/09)

Mandy2008............09/02/08..........09/11/08........10/04/08........--/--/--

Litlemo-nosleep......09/02/08..........09/10/08........10/01/08........--/--/--

Legolas..............09/03/08..........09/09/08........10/02/08........04/16/09

PrinceandPrincess....09/04/08..........09/08/08........09/30/08........--/--/--

Mandy2008............09/04/08..........09/11/08........10/04/08........05/07/09 (>CSC 03/10/09)

Pri..................09/11/08..........09/18/08........10/28/08........--/--/--

Shauna...............09/12/08..........09/16/08........10/29/08........--/--/--

Beccaogingi..........09/15/08..........09/19/08........10/28/08........--/--/--

Sukimi...............09/20/08..........09/26/08........10/31/08........05/13/09 (>CSC 03/10/09)

Aidan80..............09/22/08..........--/--/--........11/25/08........--/--/-- (>CSC 03/10/09)

Boaz.................09/23/08..........10/03/08........10/31/08........--/--/--

MrsAmera.............09/23/08..........10/31/08........--/--/--........--/--/--

Lawrencetoland.......09/24/08..........09/30/08........11/28/08........--/--/-- (>CSC 03/05/09)

Milka................09/24/08..........10/01/08........11/05/08........--/--/-- (>CSC 03/10/09)

Antoniostar..........10/04/08..........10/15/08........11/28/08........05/12/09 (>CSC 03/10/09)

Frenchie.............10/06/08..........10/21/08........11/24/08........05/20/09 (>CSC 03/20/09)

Staphros.............10/07/08..........10/??/08........10/28/08........05/22/09 (>CSC 03/10/09)

1daysoon.............10/14/08..........10/18/08........11/28/08........02/23/09

Dorothy..............10/21/08..........11/01/08........12/02/08........04/22/09 (>CSC 03/23/09)

Girl37...............10/25/08..........10/31/08........12/06/08........04/22/09 (>CSC 03/23/09)

KRS..................11/01/08..........--/--/--........--/--/--........05/20/09 (>CSC 03/10/09)

Maya62(K2)...........11/03/08..........11/08/08........12/09/08........05/05/09

Rosana...............11/03/08..........11/12/08........12/11/08........--/--/--

Cooper ..............11/05/08..........--/--/--........--/--/--........--/--/--

ToLoveAndBeLoved.....11/05/08..........11/20/08........12/17/08........05/19/09

Trinity16............11/12/08..........11/19/08........12/15/08........04/28/09

Martinmd.............11/15/08..........11/22/08........12/06/08........05/01/09

Lewis................11/17/08..........11/21/08........12/28/08........04/23/09

Wrumug...............11/26/08..........12/02/08........01/10/08........--/--/--

tachy................12/--/08..........--/--/08........--/--/--........05/--/09

SherMike.............12/07/08..........12/09/08........01/06/09........05/17/09

Ecuaciones0809.......12/10/08..........12/12/08........01/08/09........05/12/09

MoroccanInTexas......12/10/08..........12/12/08........01/08/09........05/27/09

SHAr.................--/--/08..........12/12/08........01/17/09........05/12/09

Jo&john..............12/15/08..........12/18/08........01/13/09........--/--/--

Roosterwife..........12/23/08..........--/--/--........28/12/09........--/--/--

Billsgirl............12/26/08..........01/22/09........02/03/09........05/15/09

Jiten................12/26/08..........01/06/09........03/31/09........05/13/09

HappyOne.............12/29/08..........01/12/09........02/06/09........--/--/--

TracyLuis............12/31/08..........01/06/09........01/31/09........05/20/09

=========================================2009==================================

Amarceau.............01/05/09..........01/09/09........02/05/09........06/10/09

M....................01/08/09..........01/12/09........02/06/09........--/--/--

Miker32us............01/10/09..........--/--/--........--/--/--........--/--/--

Tmma.................01/10/09..........01/14/09........02/06/09........05/29/09

STL_HCMC.............01/12/09..........01/17/09........02/20/09........06/10/09

Homeland.............01/15/09..........01/27/09........02/20/09........05/26/09

Billy................01/20/09..........01/22/09........02/17/09........05/28/09

Ridley...............01/20/09..........01/26/09........02/17/09........05/29/09

Luis&Laura...........01/26/09..........01/29/09........02/26/09........05/29/09

Rebeccajo............01/26/09..........01/29/09........02/20/09........--/--/--

Scorpionking.........01/26/09..........01/29/09...........N/A..........--/--/--

Jasminelily..........01/28/09..........01/30/09........02/21/09........06/17/09

Cocoplum.............02/02/09..........02/17/09........03/18/09........06/19/09

Fianceeinwaiting.....02/09/09..........02/13/09........--/--/--........--/--/--

Immigrant2009........02/11/09..........02/13/09........02/28/09........--/--/--

Rebster..............02/16/09..........02/23/09........04/10/09........--/--/--

milesinfront.........02/18/09..........02/20/09........03/20/09........--/--/--

Rizthomson...........02/19/09..........02/20/09........03/24/09........--/--/--

Taurean..............02/19/09..........--/--/--........03/21/09........--/--/--

AbeandDeb............02/21/09..........--/--/--........--/--/--........--/--/--

Emancipation.........02/27/09..........03/08/09........03/31/09........--/--/--

Knorcster............03/03/09..........--/--/--........--/--/--........--/--/--

Mike1972e............03/05/09..........03/09/09........03/30/09........--/--/--

Ken&Barbie...........03/09/09..........03/12/09........04/08/09........--/--/--

KarenCee.............03/10/09..........03/16/09........04/15/09........--/--/--

MaydayDas............03/12/09..........--/--/--........--/--/--........--/--/--

LiszyandKenny........03/16/09..........03/23/09........04/14/09........--/--/--

seldommseene.........03/16/09..........--/--/--........04/08/09........--/--/--

AnaFoulds............03/21/09..........03/24/09........04/21/09........--/--/--

Meriem_setif.........03/25/09..........04/04/09........05/28/09........--/--/--

AgRo.................03/27/09..........03/31/09........--/--/--........--/--/--

Lexx.................04/14/09..........04/17/09........05/26/09........--/--/--

venusfire............05/01/09..........05/14/09........06/12/09........--/--/--

scooby06.............05/01/09..........05/05/09........05/29/09........--/--/--

mozplay..............05/04/09..........05/07/09........06/11/09........--/--/--

Uk2usa...............05/04/09..........05/06/09........06/12/09........--/--/--

Fozzie...............05/08/09..........05/13/09........06/12/09........--/--/--

Steve-n-Ana..........05/15/09..........05/18/09........06/17/09........--/--/--

Allie&Leo............05/26/09..........06/01/09........07/07/09........--/--/--

LisalovestheUSA......05/27/09..........06/01/09........06/30/09........--/--/--

Little4ele...........05/28/09..........05/29/09........07/06/09........--/--/--

chizkeyk.............05/30/09..........06/02/09........07/10/09........--/--/--

J&K..................06/03/09..........06/05/09........07/01/09........--/--/--

ilovedram............06/05/09..........06/09/09........07/08/09........--/--/--

gurge................06/15/09..........--/--/--........--/--/--........--/--/--

Birdysboy............06/15/09..........--/--/--........--/--/--........--/--/--

===============================================================================

IMPORTANT!

*Make sure that your VJ Text Editor setting is set to Rich Text Editor.

*Go to the MOST RECENTLY POSTED VERSION of this list (go to the last post and

scroll UP) and "Reply" to it, deleting the "quote" tags in your reply.

* Please DO NOT change the font, font size, add colors, stuff like that.

* Please PREVIEW before posting to make sure it is properly formatted.

Date of I-751 = The Date you sent your application

NOA Date = The Receipt Date on your original NOA letter

Biometrics = The Date of your biometrics appointment

Approved = The Date your case was approved

*Please Capitalize your VJ Name when adding it to the list*

**When you're on this list, please come back to update your information accordingly** ***If you cannot add your information yourself, please ask another VJ member to help you do so.**

Sandi,

I don't think you're getting ahead of yourself. Better early than too late! I worked on all the paperwork ahead of time so it was ready to go. I also made multiple copies, etc. I think taking things there in person, when possible, is a great idea.

Geez, I wish my memory was good... I DO remember taking things with me for his interview - my birth certificate was one of them. I also remember he took a briefcase full of additional photos of the two of us, more email, things like that. Receipts for our engraved wedding bands that we ordered - anything that showed more proof of an ongoing relationship. There were forms he needed, too.

Maybe someone who is getting ready for an interview right now, or someone who just had one recently would be of more help...

Best of luck!

venusfire

I understand what you guys are saying re: posting personal info here. I would never ask online people, "should I get a divorce" or "is my husband cheating on me?" Of course, I would talk to family and friends. Which leads me to believe, maybe people that spill their entire personal guts out don't have anyone else to talk to? In which case, I kinda feel bad for them! If they have to ask virtual strangers for help instead of real friends and family. That's why I'd never make fun of them, because maybe they have no one else

Well, it could be that, and it could also be that some people don't want to get family or friends involved in something they don't understand - a relationship with a non-USC. Thank you for not making fun of them (me). I remember the reactions from everyone when I first said I was going to Morocco to meet my SO in person... you may or may not believe some of the things I heard from what I thought were mature people! It's not usually a good idea to get certain people involved anyway - that whole thing about how you can forgive your SO, but (insert mom, dad, sibling, whatever) never will. Add on their total lack of understanding about this kind of relationship - and in some cases (yes, mine) the prejudice that comes out in all its ugliness.... that's why I post here - despite some 'attacks', it seems much safer in a way. If someone here is a jerk to me, I can forget about it. If it's someone close to me, it's a little harder. I almost lost a good friend because of her reaction to my husband. Not 100% sure all the reasons I did it, but I showed up unannounced at her door one day (she always had some excuse why she couldn't meet him). I thought she was going to have a heart attack! Anyway, she was too polite not to invite us in (we live several hours away - we were in that area for an unrelated reason), and once she actually had a conversation with the two of us, she visibly relaxed. Now things are just fine, and I don't mention her initial reactions to him.

OH, the mouth kissing..... YUK! My ex and I got into a big argument about that. I HATED that his dad INSISTED on kissing my kids (and his other grandchildren, all squirming to get away) on the mouth. YUCK YUCK YUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My take on it is this - it's totally unnecessary (and it was so gross how he would say things like "oh yummy - give Grandpa some sugar" - EEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW). Ok, here's how I won that fight. I pointed out to him (the ex) that NO ONE should be forced to hug or kiss ANYONE. If my kids don't want a hug from me sometimes, then I respect that. How in the world can you expect a child to know the difference between who "has the right" (using that term very loosely, and not meaning it at all) to force affection on them, and who doesn't? It's all about teaching your children to protect themselves. You can't expect a young child to stick up for themselves if someone is trying to do something sexual to them if they're taught that their feelings regarding "less inappropriate" affection don't count. I've taught each of my children YOUR BODY is YOUR BODY, and that NO ONE has to right to do ANYTHING to any of them that makes them uncomfortable. It was difficult enough to explain to them that there are a few unavoidable exceptions to that rule (doctors - for medical reasons, and only when a parent is in the room) without having to justify to them that so-and-so can just kiss them on the mouth or force a hug on them. Sorry if I offended anyone on this, but people's opinions are not as important to me as my children's safety and mental well being.

Anyway, to the original subject - when I was still married to my other husband (don't like to refer to him as 'first' - seems like I think he's better than my 'second' one), I often used "daddy" because of the kids ("daddy's coming home"; "go tell daddy dinner is ready"). Not when I talked to him without them around - I was just referring to him in a way that would make sense to the wee ones. It is weird in a way, and my sister and I made jokes about it to each other. We also joke about how we don't have names anymore - it's usually "mom" or whatever term of endearment from the husband.

Three things in one post. Guess this one hit a nerve.

venusfire

-Blu-(what the HELL is "cheese food"?)

My kids and I joke that it's what you feed your cheese.

venusfire

I'm a single dad of 2. Raised my 4 year old since he was 9 months old totally on my own. If my ex wife (who has weekends on and off) decided to take my kids out of the country, I'd be damned if I'd just say..."Great opportunity for the tots!" If there are two parents in the picture.....I think it is totally unfair to step in and try to drag a child across the globe. If the dad or mom is in the picture, think about the parent/child relationship.

I absolutely see your point. However, in this case, the OP says the father hasn't bothered to see the child in years (and isn't very good about paying child support either). Now that she wants to move, he's trying to keep her from taking the child. That doesn't sound to me like a father who is really "in the picture", or cares himself about the parent/child relationship. It sounds to me like a man who wants to use the child to control the mother. Using children is disgusting.

It goes both ways, too - I can't take my children to visit their new stepfamily because their father won't let me. He won't even give me a reason why. I don't think that's fair either. I can understand not wanting me to move them out of the country (not that I'd want to), but not allowing me to take them to visit family? I wanted to take them last summer when he was out of the country and wouldn't have seen them during that time anyway.

By the way, I'm impressed - single parenting isn't easy, especially with a baby!

venusfire

Here's my advice to everyone waiting for the visa interview:

USC - go if you can, but don't lose sleep over it if you really can't go. Many (most?) get approved without the USC there, and a few will get 221g or denial even if they are.

Make more of an attempt to go if you have a case that might raise ANY red flags (knowing each other a short time, recent divorce before petition is sent, large age difference, differences in language/religion/culture, high-fraud country, etc). I'm not picking on anyone - those things (all the ones I listed) applied in our case. I went along for the interview, and ended up standing outside alone for hours. It was SO worth it, though.

1 - I wanted to be able to take the last few papers there in person, especially MY papers (birth certificate, etc). Good thing, too - the packet I sent (I made 2 copies of originals of the USICS forms) didn't get there until AFTER his interview (we didn't know his packet 3 would have an interview date already set - I thought we were super early with getting those papers done).

2 - Even though I wasn't allowed inside, they knew I was there. I have no proof, but I think it helped (esp. since we had all those 'red flags'). He took my passport in his pocket, but didn't actually show it to anyone. IF they wanted to talk with me for any reason, I was right outside. It was also interesting for me, trying to get along in the country for the first time without his help (had to pantomime to ask for the bathroom!)

3 - I was there to prepare him, and all the papers, for a few days before the interview. I would've been worrying at home, wondering if he had everything, if he was ready, if he was nervous, etc.

4 - I was with him when he announced to his family that he was leaving, and went along to say good-bye to all his friends and

family.

5 - I was with him for his journey to his new home. It was his first plane ride, first time out of the country, etc. He wasn't nervous because of my presence. Also, I didn't have to wonder how he was (good thing - we got stuck in London for 2 days).

6 - I didn't want to miss being part of the experience of him getting here.

7 - I also got the 'privilege' of being grilled with him when he first came through the airport. They really gave the two of us a hard time. As hateful as it was, I'm glad that he didn't have to go through it alone. I wonder if they would've been even ruder to him if he had been alone. Also, there's always the slight chance that they could've denied him entry (yes, even with a visa). I think that very slight chance was even smaller since I was with him. A friend of mine said they made his wife (from Brazil) cry three separate times when she was traveling back and forth. I'm not trying to make anyone nervous - I just wish I had been forewarned, so it wouldn't have been such a shock.

8 - It's more pleasant to travel together than wait nervously at the airport.

Again, in most cases, it probably won't make the least bit of difference as far as getting the visa. Look honestly at your situation, though, and think about whether you have a straight forward case, or if there's something that might raise eyebrows. If you are concerned, but really can't go, send email or something to your SO, explaining why you can't go, how much you wish you could, all your love, etc, and a note about where you can be reached during the time of the interview in case anyone has any questions for you. Have your loved one take that to the interview in case it comes up that you're not there.

Best of luck to everyone in your journeys. It's difficult (more for some than others), but it DOES eventually move forward. I can't believe he's been here almost 2-1/2 years now!

venusfire

This might sound weird, but my in-laws LOVE American peanut butter! I've taken and mailed some, and have it on my list for the next visit.

venusfire

Hi folks,

Greg and Erlinda here, we applied for our K1 on approx Feb 24, 2009 and receieved our receipt on March 2nd 2009.

Is it possible that it can be approved before the stated 6 months? it looks as if it can be according to some of the psts here or is that dependat on what counrty the benificiary is from??

My Fiancee is in the Philippines asn we have been living together in sin hahaha on line for over a year now. Skype is great and so is magic jack just in case you guys foine that you cant live without spending 8-12 hours a day toegterh even as far away as we are.

Well good luck to all you toher applicants and i hope all youre visas are approved and in quick tiome. I know how hard it is

Greg

Greg,

Yes, it is possible that it will take less than 6 months, but it can also take much longer. It's not really easy to predict. The timelines you will get are only estimates. I think country can be a factor, but so can many other things.

I remember the feeling - we used to be online (IM/cam) almost constantly... it started out appr 4 hours per night, and then it got to the point that I slept on the couch and we'd both keep our cams on, in case one of us woke up - then we could watch the other sleep. It's so wonderful when you're finally together!

Best of luck!

venusfire

Great post venusfire

uscandual,

Thank you. I was hoping it wouldn't be taken the wrong way.... I tend to ramble (ask anyone who knows me!), and try to look at things from different angles, which creates the possibility of p***ing off several people at once. Glad it worked right this time!

venusfire

I have 2 questions.... and some rambling thoughts...

1 - How did you get back in when you were 18? I understand that a 12 year old doesn't have much say in what happens (coming in illegally), but an 18 year old does. I do understand why you'd want to get back to the life you had - and where your parents were. I know at age 18 I didn't exactly have the best social conscience or whatever you want to call it - we want what we want when we're young. I'm sure you weren't thinking about what immigration laws were then. I do think it's good that you're working on becoming legal now.

2 - Don't you have some kind of status since you applied and are just waiting? I have no idea about these things. Just curious. I know that when my husband applied for his green card, he was considered an 'applicant'. Even though he didn't have a very clear cut status (his 90 day stay was over, but he hadn't been approved yet), he was here legally. I just would think that if someone had applied for some type of status (like your mom applying for you) that you would be in that same sort of 'applicant' category.

Also, like someone else asked, is your wife a citizen? I imagine if she is, that opens up another door for you - then you two can apply for your green card.

I understand your frustration. You might be here illegally, but it's the life that you know - the US is home for you now. I don't know how possible/feasible/practical (sorry - can't think of the right word right now) it would be for you to leave now and apply for a visa (and what are the chances you'd get one?). You're paying taxes and doing everything responsibly, including trying to become legal. I also understand some people's frustration that you got here illegally, and they (as well as most others here, including me) had/chose to do things the legal way. And you probably don't like being lumped in with people who come here illegally to take advantage of the system (and don't pay taxes, etc).

I can understand how you feel it's unfair that you don't have an automatic right to live here. Just like I don't understand why we had to go through hoops to get my SO here. Why is it fair that some people are born here, others can easily visit under the VWP, and others can't even hope to get a visitor's visa? Why do some people get their visas quickly and easily, but others have to wait a year or more? My husband is here now, so I don't have to worry about that anymore, but at the same time, his family can't even come here to meet their new nieces/nephew/grandchildren. Since my ex won't let me take them there, they only know each other through the webcam.

Unfortunately, we all have different situations, and some are 'luckier' than others. We just have to work on it, and do things according to the rules. I am happy for those who have uncomplicated journeys, and feel sympathy for those who have difficult ones. I've had a little of each - getting him here was relatively simple, but there were glitches with AOS, and the whole problem with my children meeting their stepfamily just sucks.

Anyway, I wish you the best of luck with getting legal status. Uscandual, I hope your fiancee's visa comes soon. I remember how frustrating it is, even when it's a short wait. Waiting almost a year must be very difficult.

I really wish we lived in a world where people could easily, legally, safely go wherever they wanted whenever they wanted. I know it's unrealistic, though.

venusfire

As mentioned, uncovered foods in refrigerator and food sitting out all day, when she cooks it is usually early afternoon even though I may not get home till 7 or 8.

Air conditioning, better now but at first she would leave the doors open while the AC was on.

Sliding glass doors-------need I say more

YES!!!! When its nice outside, hubby will turn the A/C on in the car, then roll the windows down. I want to shake him every time he does it. I've explained it a million times. I always remind him to do one or the other not both. I'm getting tired. Maybe when winter comes I will turn the heat on and roll the windows down.

We didn't have that exact problem, but it took a while for him to adjust to heat and A/C. At first, he complained it gave him headaches, so we had to do without in the car - but had to blast both at home. The bills.... YIKES! Then he decided it was a good idea in the car, so I was always too hot in the winter and too cold in the summer. Oh well. Then there was the fact that he would wear summer clothes in the house in winter and insist on turning the heat up. I SO felt like my mom/dad/grandparents telling him "if you're cold, put some clothes on". He finally realized the difference it made in the utility bills....it's good now.

venusfire

I continue to have to UNLOAD the dishwasher, scrub the silverware, reload everything so that there's a fighting chance of its becoming clean, and empty the thing the next morning, si man.

Yep - got this one too.....

venusfire

I believe it takes 4-8 weeks for the return to be 'available'...

Karin und Otto,

Thank you. I'll put a note on my calendar to try again in mid-June.

venusfire

I'm a little confused - people are talking about bringing parents of LPR and naturalized citizens here to the US. But, I don't know if it's about the parents getting visitors visas, or coming permanently. I imagine those two scenarios are completely different.

I have 4 separate questions about this:

1. It sounds like a naturalized citizen can bring parents - in about a year - to live here. Is that really true? (just curious)

2. What about bringing the parents of a naturalized citizen here on visitor's visas?

3. What about parents of a 'green card' holder getting visitor's visas? I don't just mean if it's allowed - I mean if it could actually happen (which I know might depend on the country). For instance, my SO could have applied for a visitor's visa from Morocco, but there really was no way he would've gotten one.

4. I think from what I've read, the parents of LPRs cannot come to stay permanently. Is that true?

I would absolutely love to have my in-laws visit here. One reason is that my ex will not agree to my children going there to meet them in person, and I don't think it's fair for them to wait until they are 18.

I don't think his parents would want to live here, but they might agree to visit. If it's nearly impossible for them to get here now, we would like to try once he gets his citizenship (inchalla). If we don't have to wait that long, though...

Anyway, I've looked into this a little, but whenever I see "come here", I don't know if it means "to visit" or "to stay". Just looking for a little clarification.

Thank you!

venusfire

StateSide,

Just a suggestion - include a copy of the change of address forms with the AOS packet to show that you are sending them, even though they are late. I sent my husband's change of address last year when we moved, but didn't realize I had to send one for myself. I found out about it as I was assembling my ROC packet. I quickly sent out the change of address form (with apologetic cover letter) that day, and finished the ROC packet to send the next day - and included a cover letter explaining why I sent the change of address form late, a copy of the change of address form, and even copies of the mailing receipt for good measure. I figured it can't hurt.

As far as the social security office, I can't figure out why they didn't let her get a new card with her new name.... I hope someone else can help you with that one. My SO got his card before the wedding, too, but he didn't have to worry about changing his name...

Good luck!

venusfire

I sent the I-751 packet with 2007 transcripts and 2008 return. I want to get the 2008 transcripts in case of RFE (or later for N-400), so I sent the request form the beginning of May - almost 3 weeks after I filed my return. I was very excited when the envelope came a few weeks later, but when I opened it, it said "no record of return filed". I guess it takes a while before they're entered into the system.

I'll need to send another request, but want to wait until I can actually get the transcripts instead of getting another "no record" letter. Does anyone know how long it usually takes for the transcripts to actually be available? It would be especially great to hear from someone who filed mid-April, and got their transcripts since then.

Thanks!

venusfire

I think he got his 10 year card in October or November something like that. He moved back to AUS by himself in January. And now we are getting a divorce. Feel like a big fool for spending all this time, money, and energy. But I guess he is free to come and go as he pleases in the US now.

I hope everyones experience ends - or should I say continues - with better results than mine.

Kathleen

Kathleen,

I don't blame you for being upset. I hope there were some good times, at least. It's sweet of you to wish everyone else well, especially when you're going through this. I hope things work out for you. Best of luck.

venusfire

Actually, storing in the deep freezer for a while is one the ways that does work - Museums often do this with infested materials to kill off the larvae.

Kathryn41,

Thank you - I think that's what I'll do then! Any idea how long is recommended?

venusfire

fire always works on moths.

um....huh?

I just kill the moths as I find them, but want to get rid of the eggs/larvae so they are really gone. I don't want them to come back.

By the way, if it was just some piece of ####### I bought here in the states, I would probably just throw it out and get a new one. His family had it for years, and gave it to us as a gift when we visited, so there is sentiment attached to it. That's why I mentioned that it was from Morocco.

I guess I could just stick it in a plastic bag in the deep freezer (after it dries) for a few weeks...

venusfire

I think you just introduced a foriegn species into the US. This will destroy many other organisms habitat.

How to get rid of moths

I really don't think the moths came from Morocco - the tent was washed and wrapped up before we left there, and it's been here for more than a year. I just think some American moths seized the opportunity and took up residence there.

venusfire

I tried to google this, but can't get relevant results. My husband and I brought a mini 'tent' back from Morocco last year and set it up on display. I recently noticed what I thought were pantry moths, but finally realized are wool moths (it hadn't occurred to me before to ask him what material was used for the tent!) The little buggers are eating it, leaving... um, 'dirt'... everywhere around it, and I have moths flying around now. Of course, I don't want to throw it out or let it get completely eaten away. Whenever I try google, I get advice on how to store it (we'd like to leave it out on display), or how to treat clothes that are infested. I don't want to sprinkle any kind of powder on it - mainly because I have three kids, but also because it would also look strange.

Any suggestions?

venusfire