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venusfire503

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Posts posted by venusfire503

  1. I use iKobo. Works like a champ.

    I had heard they folded? Are they still in business? I looked into them at one time and it seemed interesting BUT

    We send money ebery month to our son in Moscow and my MIL in Ukraine. But when I checked on these, and seems like Walmart is kind of the same, the fees were running $6-10 on both ends combined for each transfer. Right now we pay $10 per transfer with MoneyGram (MUCH cheaper than WU, WU can kiss my @ss!!) And it didn't seem like it would save alot, especially if Sergey decides to take his monthly allowance in $10 increments or something! So I have stayed with the MoneyGram so far. It takes more than a savings of $4 to lure ME into Walmart, besides we are Walmart Poor in Vermont (only ONE in the state) so I would spend more in gas.

    The ATM worked for me for a time until my bank shut it down when they found out my fiancee was using it and she was not on the account, they were none too happy about that and if I had not been a longtime customer they probably would have launched me right out of there!!!!!!! So be careful if you are usingt an ATM for this. This technique is highly suspicious to US authorities and banks do NOT want to be involved with this. I am not saying you are a bad guy or something, but lots of bad guys do this to transfer money. Banks tend not to like it.

    Wow - never thought of it looking suspicious! We use USAA bank, and they had no problems with it. I even told them what I was doing. I was able to add his name to the account using his passport number even while he was still in Morocco. After he got here, he opened an account to send money to his family - their names aren't on it, he just sent a card. Maybe USAA is more flexible because more of their members are overseas and there are also more international relationships?

    venusfire

  2. Please bear with me; I just need to vent.

    I submitted my app last December to Vermont, and have a January receipt date. I had my biometrics done, but after that heard nothing for several months. I made an Infopass appt over the summer and was told to keep waiting; a week later I called customer service and initiated a service request. Finally, on Sep 15, I got a letter saying that my case had been transferred to California. I've been checking status online and was shocked to see that it is still in the "under initial review" stage.

    What on earth has the USCIS been doing with my case since January that they are STILL giving it the initial review?? What happened to it between January and now??? I just called the customer service line and was told that I should wait and get back in touch with them if I haven't heard anything by November 15th. I plan to apply for citizenship in December, for God's sake! If they're going to take so long to process cases, why even bother to have the removal of conditions process?? I should have just saved my money and spent it on the citizenship application! Six months processing time? Yeah, right!

    I realize that others are waiting, too, but I am BEYOND annoyed at this. To have spent so much money, waited so long, and to have received absolutely no service is unacceptable to me.

    Roosterwife,

    I understand your frustration. I just read something about filing for naturalization that might possibly make it a little more bearable. Well, maybe it will at least make it a little less annoying that you paid for I-751 when you can apply for citizenship soon (it DOES kind of seem like a waste of money) and have yet to be approved. It states in the Guides that "the I-751 must be approved in order for you to apply for Naturalization 3 years after AOS based on marriage to a US Citizen". I imagine that in some cases, the I-751 is NOT approved, which means that person would not be allowed to get citizenship. Maybe if you think of it as step three (step 1 being the visa, step 2 is the 'green card') of the N-400 instead of a separate, unnecessary step, it would be a little easier to deal with?

    Also, some people have to wait until they've had LPR for five years for citizenship, so they 'use' their ten year card longer. Some decide to wait for N-400 for whatever reason, and some decide not to apply for it at all. So for them, the I-751 isn't such a 'waste'. I can see your point, though - why can't they just make the first card a three year card, or allow for a less expensive option to bridge between the 2 year card and citizenship? I guess it would be impractical, and they want to make sure that the conditions are met before approving citizenship.

    Either way, I hope this makes it a little more bearable for you. I also hope we see you adding your approval to the list soon!

    venusfire

  3. bump for Venus ;)

    Thank you!

    By the way, I was just thinking about all this back and forth about what is or is not allowed. First I must say that I DON'T want to get in the middle of an argument - just want to put another thought out there. I know that since I'm not Muslim, I don't really have a 'right' to say anything, in a way. However, I think that some people need to keep in mind that we non-Muslims are just doing our best to accommodate our Muslim spouses with our limited information. As in any other religion, there are some who are more observant than others. I think that when some people here are giving advice, they're doing it in the context of what the individual feels is OK, not necessarily what someone official would approve of. For example, with the halal meat debate - while some feel it's ok to eat non-halal meats for whatever reason, others say the religion doesn't allow it. For those of us with Muslim SOs, please keep in mind that we're just looking for the best answers we can. As far as I'm concerned, I'm only worried about doing what makes my husband happy and comfortable, not with trying to follow all the rules 100%. As a matter of fact, I don't think he likes it too much when I tell him about something I read somewhere that's more strict than what he normally does! Makes sense - I wouldn't want someone telling me that I'm not "Catholic" enough (even though I don't really consider myself much of a follower).

    So, let's all try to remember that when someone is giving advice, they're doing it with good intentions and with the best information they have. The way I understand it, this is a religion that is understanding of the fact that people are in different parts of their journey, and the point is (again, as I understand it) to do your best, and try to keep doing better.

    venusfire

  4. Hi everyone,

    As you can see below, It's been more than 4 months that I sent my application to Vermont and 3 months since the last file "touch". I'm just wondering if this wait is "normal". I'm checking the USCIS online status almost everyday and there is no change :(

    Should I worry? should I call them?... or do you think I'm still at the average waiting time.

    Thanks

    Najia,

    We just got our approval in the mail today (dated last Friday), and we sent 12 days to VSC before you. There are several people who sent after us and got approved in the past weeks. So, there's a good chance that you'll get your approval letter soon. I know it's hard to wait, but try to be patient.

    I just updated the May list as well as the VSC list, so they'll be on the top of the list.

    Best of luck - hope you get approved soon.

    venusfire

  5. I thought the envelope my husband brought in today was going to be RFE. I was SO happy to be wrong!!!!

    VJName...............Date of I-751.....NOA1 Date.......Biometrics......Approved

    =========================================2007==================================

    Baunzerbrudi ........05/11/07..........05/19/07........06/14/07........--/--/-- (<TSC 02/22/08)

    RAK..................05/17/07..........--/--/--........06/21/07........--/--/--

    Ree..................09/13/07..........09/17/07........04/16/09........04/23/09

    October07-i751.......10/12/07..........10/27/07........11/24/07........--/--/--

    Peter&piper .........10/15/07..........10/23/07........03/11/08........--/--/--

    dnaleri..............12/04/07..........12/19/07........01/12/08........06/05/09

    Jodyangel ...........12/12/07..........12/23/07........--/--/--........--/--/--

    Kingofdallas ........12/14/07..........01/11/08........02/14/08........--/--/--

    Gaijin ..............12/17/07..........12/28/07........02/07/08........--/--/--

    Erica&Terry..........12/20/07..........12/26/07........02/21/08........--/--/-- (<TSC)

    =========================================2008==================================

    Tjones298............01/10/08..........01/22/08........02/02/08........05/07/09 (<TSC)

    Edall................01/28/08..........02/16/08........03/01/08........04/09/09

    Daisy16 .............02/05/08..........02/14/08........03/22/08........--/--/--

    Maryces21............02/15/08..........04/15/08........03/26/08........04/22/08 (<TSC)

    JndAmd...............02/18/08..........03/??/08........03/??/08........--/--/-- (<TSC)

    ana751...............02/25/08..........03/01/08........03/13/08........06/19/09

    Gemini12nj...........02/29/08..........--/--/--........03/11/08........--/--/--

    Rajthebam ...........03/03/08..........03/12/08........07/08/08........--/--/--

    Tex'n'Brit ..........03/07/08..........04/03/08........04/17/08........--/--/-- (<TSC)

    MandR................03/14/08..........--/--/--........04/17/08........--/--/-- (<TSC)

    CanGal...............04/06/08..........04/15/08........05/03/08........--/--/--

    Daveanddaisy.........04/21/08..........05/02/08........06/27/08........--/--/--

    KingCan..............04/21/08..........05/29/08........06/17/08........05/06/09(<TSC and >VSC)(RFE 04/13/09)

    Jesti................05/01/08..........05/21/08........05/28/08........04/08/09

    Bonny................05/05/08..........05/12/08........06/17/08........--/--/--

    Cliff_Ksenia.........05/08/08..........05/13/08........06/12/08........04/08/09

    Abdirashid...........05/09/08..........05/29/08........07/03/08........04/09/09

    PAUL.................05/12/08..........05/13/08........06/18/08........04/08/09 (<TSC)

    Rigoletto............05/20/08..........05/29/08........06/14/08........04/05/09

    J&js.................05/25/08..........06/09/08........07/26/08........--/--/--

    Bdsmusa..............05/28/08..........--/--/--........06/04/08........04/20/09

    Jenn!................05/30/08..........06/06/08........07/15/08........03/11/09 (>CSC 02/11/09)

    KikiDoug.............06/02/08..........06/10/08........07/24/08........04/12/09

    Forever in Love......06/03/08..........06/10/08........07/15/08........04/16/09

    Peggy................06/03/08..........06/10/08........07/15/08........--/--/--

    Gerard...............06/05/06..........06/13/08........07/17/08........03/16/09 (>CSC 02/11/09)

    Anyta Holland........06/??/08..........06/20/08........08/09/08........03/18/09 (>TSC and >CSC 02/11/09)

    Wannabe_Texan........06/10/08..........06/17/08........07/22/08........03/18/09 (>CSC 02/11/09)

    S.vincent............06/11/08..........06/23/08........08/07/08........03/03/09 (>CSC 02/11/09)

    Siddharth18..........06/11/08..........06/24/08........07/23/08........--/--/-- (>CSC 02/11/09)

    Cheeky^Wolf..........06/17/08..........06/30/08........08/09/08........02/28/09 (>CSC 02/12/09)

    Lovelysummer1982.....06/18/08..........06/24/08........07/31/08........--/--/--

    Dara.................06/21/08..........--/--/--........07/31/08........03/16/09 (>CSC 02/11/09)

    Canuck Carrie........06/30/08..........07/15/08........--/--/--........03/09/09

    Steph1010............07/01/08..........07/10/08........08/12/08........05/04/09 (>CSC 02/25/09)

    Liz10976.............07/01/08..........07/08/08........08/21/08........04/13/09

    Cherr1980............07/01/08..........07/03/08........08/02/08........--/--/--

    Charsiimogen.........07/05/08..........07/09/08........08/14/08........05/11/09 (>CSC 02/25/09)

    LastSurvivor.........07/07/08..........07/12/08........08/13/08........04/30/09 (>CSC 02/25/09)

    Craig2006............07/09/08..........07/11/08........09/16/08........03/20/09 (>CSC 02/25/09)

    Keltic/Tobester......07/11/08..........07/15/08........08/21/08........07/23/09 (>CSC 02/27/09)

    Annie Pie............07/1?/08..........07/22/08........08/26/08........04/29/09 (>CSC 02/25/09)

    Cartman08............07/16/08..........07/22/08........08/26/08........03/20/09 (>CSC 02/25/09)

    Roi_aggie............07/21/08..........07/25/08........08/27/08........04/17/09 (>CSC 02/25/09)

    CherryXS.............07/21/08..........07/25/08........08/22/08........06/18/09 (>CSC 03/18/09)

    Isleta521............07/24/08..........07/28/08........08/25/08........05/01/09 (>CSC 02/25/09)

    Bahamas124...........07/24/08..........07/29/08........08/26/08........04/24/09 (>CSC 02/25/09)

    Zauberblume..........07/26/08..........07/30/08........09/09/08........03/16/09 (>CSC 03/12/09)

    Twellspeak...........07/28/08..........07/31/08........08/28/08........05/07/09 (>CSC 03/12/09)

    Italian_in_NYC.......07/30/08..........08/06/08........08/26/08........04/23/09 (>CSC 02/25/09)

    Birdlover2008........07/31/08..........08/05/08........09/11/08........--/--/-- (>CSC 03/02/09)

    Triniwaiting.........07/31/08..........--/--/--........08/26/08........04/28/09 (>CSC 02/25/09)

    Shakysgirl...........08/05/08..........08/08/08........09/10/08........04/??/09(>CSC 03/03/09)mail 04/08/09

    R&W..................08/10/08..........08/13/08........09/10/08........04/17/09

    Blessed N Favored....08/11/08..........08/15/08........09/13/08........05/29/09 (<TSC and >CSC 03/02/09)

    hope.................08/12/08..........--/--/08........09/--/08........06/03/09

    Silver...............08/15/08..........08/19/08........10/01/08........03/31/09 (>CSC 03/02/09)

    Gatorfan.............08/16/08..........09/05/08........10/02/08........06/01/09 (<TSC and >CSC 03/04/09)

    AntandD..............08/18/08..........08/22/08........09/24/08........04/15/09 (>CSC 03/02/09)(Walk-In Bio)

    Bilson4real..........08/19/08..........--/--/08........--/--/09........04/16/09 (>CSC 03/04/09)

    Mavie_77.............08/19/08..........08/26/08........09/16/08........--/--/--

    Rebelheart...........08/20/08..........08/26/08........10/03/08........05/13/09 (<TSC and >CSC 03/11/09)

    TheGman..............08/20/08..........08/21/08........09/25/08........02/18/09

    Ivancho1231..........08/25/08..........09/05/08........10/02/08........--/--/-- (<TSC)

    GinFar...............08/27/08..........09/04/08........10/04/08........05/27/09(>CSC 03/05/09)

    KiminON..............08/27/08..........09/03/08........09/29/08........05/12/09 (>CSC 03/10/09)

    Mandy2008............09/02/08..........09/11/08........10/04/08........--/--/--

    Litlemo-nosleep......09/02/08..........09/10/08........10/01/08........--/--/--

    Legolas..............09/03/08..........09/09/08........10/02/08........04/16/09

    PrinceandPrincess....09/04/08..........09/08/08........09/30/08........--/--/--

    Mandy2008............09/04/08..........09/11/08........10/04/08........05/07/09 (>CSC 03/10/09)

    Pri..................09/11/08..........09/18/08........10/28/08........--/--/--

    Shauna...............09/12/08..........09/16/08........10/29/08........--/--/--

    Beccaogingi..........09/15/08..........09/19/08........10/28/08........--/--/--

    Sukimi...............09/20/08..........09/26/08........10/31/08........05/13/09 (>CSC 03/10/09)

    Aidan80..............09/22/08..........--/--/--........11/25/08........05/27/09 (>CSC 03/10/09)

    Boaz.................09/23/08..........10/03/08........10/31/08........--/--/--

    MrsAmera.............09/23/08..........10/31/08........--/--/--........--/--/--

    Lawrencetoland.......09/24/08..........09/30/08........11/28/08........07/15/09 (>CSC 03/05/09)

    Milka................09/24/08..........10/01/08........11/05/08........04/24/09 (>CSC 03/10/09)

    Antoniostar..........10/04/08..........10/15/08........11/28/08........05/12/09 (>CSC 03/10/09)

    Frenchie.............10/06/08..........10/21/08........11/24/08........05/20/09 (>CSC 03/20/09)

    Staphros.............10/07/08..........10/??/08........10/28/08........05/22/09 (>CSC 03/10/09)

    1daysoon.............10/14/08..........10/18/08........11/28/08........02/23/09

    Dorothy..............10/21/08..........11/01/08........12/02/08........04/22/09 (>CSC 03/23/09)

    Girl37...............10/25/08..........10/31/08........12/06/08........04/22/09 (>CSC 03/23/09)

    KRS..................11/01/08..........--/--/--........--/--/--........05/20/09 (>CSC 03/10/09)

    Maya62(K2)...........11/03/08..........11/08/08........12/09/08........05/05/09

    Rosana...............11/03/08..........11/12/08........12/11/08........--/--/--

    Cooper ..............11/05/08..........--/--/--........--/--/--........--/--/--

    Lisax................11/10/08..........11/19/08........12/12/08........06/08/09

    ToLoveAndBeLoved.....11/05/08..........11/20/08........12/17/08........05/19/09

    Trinity16............11/12/08..........11/19/08........12/15/08........04/28/09

    Martinmd.............11/15/08..........11/22/08........12/06/08........05/01/09

    Lewis................11/17/08..........11/21/08........12/28/08........04/23/09

    Wrumug...............11/26/08..........12/02/08........01/10/08........--/--/--

    tachy................12/--/08..........--/--/08........--/--/--........05/--/09

    SherMike.............12/07/08..........12/09/08........01/06/09........05/17/09

    Ecuaciones0809.......12/10/08..........12/12/08........01/08/09........05/12/09

    MoroccanInTexas......12/10/08..........12/12/08........01/08/09........05/27/09

    SHAr.................--/--/08..........12/12/08........01/17/09........05/12/09

    Jo&john..............12/15/08..........12/18/08........01/13/09........06/17/09

    Roosterwife..........12/23/08..........--/--/--........28/12/09........--/--/--

    Billsgirl............12/26/08..........01/22/09........02/03/09........05/15/09

    Jiten................12/26/08..........01/06/09........03/31/09........05/13/09

    HappyOne.............12/29/08..........01/12/09........02/06/09........--/--/--

    TracyLuis............12/31/08..........01/06/09........01/31/09........05/20/09

    =========================================2009==================================

    Amarceau.............01/05/09..........01/09/09........02/05/09........06/10/09

    M....................01/08/09..........01/12/09........02/06/09........--/--/--

    Miker32us............01/10/09..........--/--/--........--/--/--........--/--/--

    Tmma.................01/10/09..........01/14/09........02/06/09........05/29/09

    STL_HCMC.............01/12/09..........01/17/09........02/20/09........06/10/09

    Homeland.............01/15/09..........01/27/09........02/20/09........05/26/09

    Billy................01/20/09..........01/22/09........02/17/09........05/28/09

    Ridley...............01/20/09..........01/26/09........02/17/09........05/29/09

    Luis&Laura...........01/26/09..........01/29/09........02/26/09........05/29/09

    Rebeccajo............01/26/09..........01/29/09........02/20/09........06/17/09

    Scorpionking.........01/26/09..........01/29/09...........N/A..........--/--/--

    gabby4ever...........01/27/09..........02/09/09........03/07/09........06/16/09

    Jasminelily..........01/28/09..........01/30/09........02/21/09........06/17/09

    Angela and Hicham....01/30/09..........02/07/09.......02/20/09........07/28/09

    Cocoplum.............02/02/09..........02/17/09........03/18/09........06/19/09

    a&o..................02/04/09..........02/14/09........03/05/09........06/24/09

    xjennyinstereox......02/06/09..........02/13/09........03/06/09........07/07/09

    masterpiece..........02/06/09..........02/14/09........03/06/09........06/26/09

    Fianceeinwaiting.....02/09/09..........02/13/09........--/--/--........--/--/--

    Immigrant2009........02/11/09..........02/13/09........02/28/09........07/21/09

    Rebster..............02/16/09..........02/23/09........04/10/09........09/02/09

    Mark UK..............02/16/09..........02/20/09........03/20/09........06/23/09

    milesinfront.........02/18/09..........02/20/09........03/20/09........06/22/09

    Rizthomson...........02/19/09..........02/20/09........03/24/09........06/30/09

    Taurean..............02/19/09..........--/--/--........03/21/09........06/23/09

    AbeandDeb............02/21/09..........--/--/--........--/--/--........--/--/--

    Emancipation.........02/27/09..........03/08/09........03/31/09........07/28/09

    Knorcster............03/03/09..........--/--/--........--/--/--........--/--/--

    Princess1............03/05/09..........03/20/09........04/01/09........07/06/09

    Mike1972e............03/05/09..........03/09/09........03/30/09........07/07/09

    HappyNathy...........03/06/09..........03/26/09.........04/15/09.......--/--/--

    Ken&Barbie...........03/09/09..........03/12/09........04/08/09........08/17/09

    mena.................03/09/09..........03/11/09........05/16/09........07/28/09

    KarenCee.............03/10/09..........03/16/09........04/15/09........--/--/--

    Olle.................03/10/09...........03/13/09........04/11/09........--/--/--

    MaydayDas............03/12/09..........--/--/--........--/--/--........--/--/--

    tapskap..............03/09/09..........03/12/09........04/14/09........08/10/09

    georgebear............03/13/09..........03/16/09........04/14/09........07/29/09

    LiszyandKenny........03/16/09..........03/23/09........04/14/09........07/21/09

    seldommseene.........03/16/09..........--/--/--........04/08/09........09/14/09

    AnaFoulds............03/21/09..........03/24/09........04/21/09........07/08/09

    J*C*H*2007...........03/21/09..........04/15/09........04/25/09........07/15/09

    Ana_Paula............03/21/09..........03/24/09........04/08/09........07/08/09

    pbnjelly.............03/21/09..........03/24/09........04/15/09........--/--/--

    Meriem_setif.........03/25/09..........04/04/09........05/28/09........08/12/09

    c&v..................03/25/09..........04/13/09........05/05/09........07/28/09

    athena_ny............03/26/09..........--/--/09........--/--/--........07/20/09

    AgRo.................03/27/09..........03/31/09........--/--/--........--/--/--

    Champoker............04/03/09..........--/--/--........05/08/09........09/11/09

    VSSKS................04/06/09..........04/20/09........05/05/09........08/27/09

    goofi................04/09/09..........04/27/09........05/22/09........09/21/09

    B&T..................04/11/09..........04/14/09........05/11/09........08/11/09

    Lexx.................04/14/09..........04/17/09........05/26/09........09/04/09

    vjb..................04/16/09..........--/--/--........--/--/--........09/02/09

    Kby175...............04/16/09..........05/02/09........05/30/09........09/04/09

    Summer 2007..........04/20/09..........05/05/09........05/29/09........09/11/09

    shayrene.............04/28/09..........05/11/09........06/12/09........08/04/09

    venusfire............05/01/09..........05/14/09........06/12/09........09/25/09

    scooby06.............05/01/09..........05/05/09........05/29/09........--/--/--

    Saigon-OKC...........05/02/09..........05/15/09........06/08/09........09/14/09

    mozplay..............05/04/09..........05/07/09........06/11/09........09/17/09

    Uk2usa...............05/04/09..........05/06/09........06/12/09........--/--/--

    Fozzie...............05/08/09..........05/13/09........06/12/09........09/24/09

    Steve-n-Ana..........05/15/09..........05/18/09........06/17/09........--/--/--

    BJZags...............05/20/09..........06/01/09........--/--/--........09/15/09

    Allie&Leo............05/26/09..........06/01/09........07/07/09........--/--/--

    LisalovestheUSA......05/27/09..........06/01/09........06/30/09........--/--/--

    Little4ele...........05/28/09..........05/29/09........07/06/09........09/11/09

    rl2009...............05/29/09..........06/01/09........07/13/09........--/--/--

    chizkeyk.............05/30/09..........06/02/09........07/10/09........--/--/--

    J&K..................06/03/09..........06/05/09........07/01/09........--/--/--

    ilovedram............06/05/09..........06/09/09........07/21/09........--/--/-- (bio. delayed, orig. date 07/08/09)

    gurge................06/15/09..........--/--/--........--/--/--........--/--/--

    Birdysboy............06/15/09..........--/--/--........--/--/--........--/--/--

    yeiser...............06/15/09..........06/18/09........--/--/--........--/--/--

    TOOBIG...............06/23/09..........06/24/09........8/13/09.........

    NArocks..............06/30/09..........07/02/09........08/06/09........--/--/-- Early Bio on 7/23/09

    NEWBIE1..............07/07/09..........07/15/09........08/11/09........--/--/-- :star:

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    venusfire

  6. He went to get the mail, and brought in the envelope. I was preparing myself for RFE, but NO! APPROVAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    WOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

    UserName.........Date of I-751.....NOA1 Date.....Biometrics......Approved

    Silke....................04/27/09...........04/28/09........06/27/09.........07/20/09

    elwintro...............05/01/09...........05/04/09........07/06/09.........07/20/09

    laperu..................05/01/09...........05/04/09........07/02/09.........07/29/09

    alli.......................05/05/09...........05/06/09........07/03/09.........08/12/09

    ready4ONE..........05/09/09...........05/11/09........07/07/09.........07/29/09

    featherB..............05/09/09...........05/11/09........07/15/09.........08/12/09

    Jolene551............05/09/09...........05/22/09........07/07/09.........08/12/09

    Eli........................05/11/09...........05/15/09........07/28/09..........08/13/09

    ktos.....................05/22/09...........05/27/09........07/09/09..........08/13/09

    flutter95...............05/22/09...........--/--/--...........07/22/09..........08/18/09

    heishe..................05/22/09...........05/26/09........07/01/09.........07/24/09

    liebi810................05/26/09...........05/28/09........07/16/09.........08/12/09

    elmcitymaven.......06/02/09............06/09/09........07/03/09.........--/--/--

    sophiadun ............05/18/09............05/2?/09........07/02/09........--/--/--

    VSC May Filers

    UserName.........Date of I-751....NOA1 Date.....Biometrics......Approved

    scooby06.............05/01/09..........05/16/09.........06/09/09........--/--/--

    venusfire503.........05/01/09..........05/14/09........06/12/09.........09/25/09

    mozplay...............05/04/09..........05/07/09.........06/11/09........09/17/09

    fozzie..................05/08/09..........05/13/09.........06/12/09........09/24/09

    jane2009 .............05/12/09.........05/15/09..........--/--/--..........--/--/--

    Longy .................05/21/09.........05/26/09..........07/07/09..........09/14/09

    little4ele...............05/24/09.........05/29/09.........07/06/09........09/11/09

    DaFlava..............05/26/09..........05/29/09.........07/02/09........--/--/--

    LisalovestheUSA ....05/27/09.........06/01/09.........06/30/09........--/--/--

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    I hope to see many more approvals soon!!

    venusfire

  7. I didn't know about the other thread. If anyone knows where to find it, please let me know. My "search" abilities are hit and miss...

    Oh, and I thought of something else that I didn't know before - many ground beef dishes contain ground pork. Even the halupki I ate all my life - whenever I made it, I just used ground beef, but my sister told me that she, and other relatives, put pork in it. We also found out that many times in restaurants, lasagna also contains ground pork. Swedish meatballs, too (the person who told me that said it as if I was an idiot not to know that already).

    Oh well.

    Everyone already knew not to smoke in my house. I've been like that for years (I'm very sensitive to smoke), so I was happy to learn that my SO doesn't smoke (never even tried it). So that's not an issue for us.

    But on that subject, can anyone think of anything else that might require some adjusting/compromise? For example, porn. Not that I was into it, but I quickly figured out that my SO wasn't going to ever look for any! That's actually one thing that attracted me to him - one night I noticed on cam that one of my shirt buttons had opened (not like I was hanging out or anything), and something told me that he wasn't a pervert. I turned away, buttoned it, said "sorry", and he actually thanked me for respecting him enough to rebutton it. Wow - what a difference from the others I had talked with online (they would've asked me to unbutton more!). He told me later about a few other women he had talked with, and I could tell he was confused about why they said the kind of things they said - which is also why he stopped talking with them, but kept talking with me. I can't imagine if I had tried to surprise him with a porn video when he got here, how he might have reacted! I'm sure most people here will read the cues from their men, but I just thought I'd mention it for anyone in a newer relationship. Not saying all Muslim men are the same, but I'd recommend waiting and watching before trying to spring anything like that on one!

    Any other tips, hints, suggestions?

    venusfire

  8. Anyway, if anyone would like to tell about their conversion - or not converting - please do so. Feel free to tell why you did or didn't - what led you to your decision.

    I have something of my conversion process at my blog. It's an ever evolving and changing narrative as I time passes and I reflect more on it.

    If you did convert, do you have any information you'd like to add - where, when, how you converted? For example, some might have done it very informally, maybe others had some type of ceremony? I'm just really curious - and this is something I've been thinking about quite a bit lately.

    There really wasn't anything too official about it - 2 witnesses, la ilaha il Allah, Muhammadur rasul Allah. I got a conversion certificate from Al Azhar a few years later that made it all official on paper in case the saudi government ever asked for proof of my conversion when I want to make hajj/umrah. Beyond that, it's been a long and interesting road that still takes me new and exciting places.

    UmmSqueakster,

    I started to read your blog, and find it interesting. I understand what you said about it being difficult to answer the question about why you converted. It sounds to me that you just found, after years of research, what makes sense to you! I imagine not everyone would be 'ok' with that answer, but that's their problem.

    In a way, I envy you. You have found something that fits. Who knows - maybe some day I will, too. For now, I am researching, thinking, listening to others. I think there's something more... fulfilling, maybe - about hearing from people and not just reading texts.

    venusfire

  9. wow I had no clue on all the stuff that have pork in it .

    Thank you so much . There so much I need to learn before

    my husband comes home.

    Thanks again

    Brooklyn

    Brooklyn,

    Yeah, I had no idea either! I wish I had known to discuss all this with him before he came, but I didn't. For example, there are things they have in Morocco, such as sausage, that don't contain pork there but have it here. Luckily, we were able to figure it out as we went along.

    Also, talk with him about how he feels about these things, but be prepared for the possibility that he might think he's ok with some things, but won't be once he's here. I've heard of that happening. For instance, my son really wanted sausage pizza for his birthday party, but when I cooked the sausage in the house (to put it on there), my husband almost threw up from the smell (and I think also just the idea of it being there). Some people actually end up being more tolerant after getting here, too. Some, sadly, even do things here they never would have in their birth country (drink, smoke, eat certain foods). I imagine some even go back and forth about what they will eat/do and what they won't. I told my husband I would support him, no matter his decisions. He's stuck with what he feels is right, and I feel good about that (I would feel bad if I thought I had influenced him to do something he normally wouldn't).

    All that being said, it's difficult for them to stick with everything, especially when there are so many new things (it's easy to forget to check ingredients), other people don't know (friends or relatives can put things in food, not knowing or not caring), and eating in restaurants is a ####### shoot (some Muslims won't do it, since there are no guarantees). Fasting during Ramadan is much harder, too, since most people here don't do it. Not only do they see 'everyone else' eating, but schedules don't shift here like they often do in Muslim countries (the days seem longer). Plus, now that Ramadan is falling in the summer time, the days really ARE longer!

    Best of luck for both of you! I think it's sweet that you are doing what you can to help him.

    venusfire

  10. I also wanted to add that you still need to be careful with kosher products. I found out that sometimes a K (one of the kosher symbols - there are several of them) doesn't necessarily mean there is no gelatin. You'll see the "K" on Jell-o, for instance. Some people believe that the way gelatin is processed makes it so far removed from its source that it no longer qualifies as a meat product. Others disagree. I'm not here to get into a debate about that - but check with your Muslim SO to see how they feel about it. It's none of my business what anyone else does or does not eat, but I think for a successful relationship, you need to find out what your SO is ok with and what he or she is not, and let them know if you keep anything in the house that they would not willingly eat. When my SO first got here, I was unaware of alot, and had to look through my kitchen to find things he couldn't eat (I ended up giving them to my sisters :innocent: )

    Also, make sure to discuss with them how they feel about having haram items in the house. They might not be ok with it, even if the items are clearly marked. I didn't think to talk with him about it, but we worked it all out once he got here. I just wish I had known more, and had taken care of it before his arrival! Some people don't care, but some might be very opposed to it. Years ago, I once had Jewish friends ask us not to take my daughter's toddler food (those little meat sticks in jars) into their house because they weren't kosher.

    venusfire

  11. I was just reading another thread, which mentions the MENA man being disgusted by pork, and when posting, I thought it might be a good idea to start a new thread about food.

    My husband didn't ask me to make any changes about what I bought or eat, but I decided I was more comfortable not keeping things in the house that he can't eat. For one thing, I would feel strange having them here. For another, it's just easier than having to check his food for him before he eats! He can read labels now, but it was very difficult for him when he first got here. I had to get used to reading labels at the store, to avoid buying things he can't eat. I was surprised how many things (like gum and chip dip) sometimes contain gelatin, and there are SO many things that have little bits of pork or alcohol in them.

    Of course, the biggest/most obvious thing is pork. Luckily, there are so many pork substitutes. I actually tended to buy turkey hotdogs, turkey ham, soy sausage, etc anyway (for health reasons) long before I met my husband, so there was very little adjusting once he got here. (he didn't insist that I stop buying pork, I did). The only thing I can't really find a substitute for is pork chops (if I really crave them, I could always eat them outside of the house), but I can live without them. My 6 year old LOVES ribs, but she's just as happy with beef ribs. BE CAREFUL, though - I've seen some pork in things like turkey bacon, apparently to give it a more authentic flavor. A kosher symbol on the package will let you know there's no pork, but it's still a good idea to check for alcohol in certain things. Also, check with your man - some will only eat halal meat, some will eat kosher meat, some will eat anything that's not from a pig.

    I also found Goya ham flavored concentrate (like powdered bouillon) and J & D's bacon salt (vegetarian, but has milk) which contain no pork - made out of plants and chemicals, I guess. I don't know if your SO would be comfortable eating any of that (my husband will eat kosher beef hot dogs, but doesn't like many of the other things, and of course won't eat any pork), but at least it will give you options if there are certain things you don't want to completely give up.

    I wanted to let my husband try marshmallows, but since there's no way to know where the gelatin came from, he couldn't. But around Passover (in the Spring), you can find kosher marshmallows, which are made with fish gelatin! Manischewitz makes really good ones. Be careful - some actually have a fish taste to them (YUCK!), so only buy one package if you find another brand, to taste it. But if he likes them, go back right away and stock up - they're only available a few weeks of the year. Just a note - some of them change color after a while, but they taste the same. Other times of year, you can use marshmallow fluff - but be careful, some brands have vanillin, which contains traces of alcohol. Check things with marshmallow - my favorite ice cream, Turkey Hill chocolate marshmallow, does NOT contain gelatin - they use egg albumin instead.

    Oh, and be prepared for people who seriously or half jokingly suggest that you try to sneak something forbidden (haram) into their food or drinks. I don't know why, but sometimes otherwise intelligent people think it would be ok or even a good idea. I even have a relative who keeps swearing he'll get my husband drunk one day. Sigh.

    Does anyone else have any tips? I would love to know about places to find acceptable (at least for some people) substitutes for those of us who want to keep pork and alcohol out of our homes, but are still new to it. I didn't realize how much it was ingrained into our culture!

    venusfire

  12. welcome to VJ. One thing that came to my mind that you wrote was at the end regarding him giving up smoking and you giving up pork... I *think most guys say they will give up smoking but hardly actually do it. Smoking is usually an addiction where as eating pork isnt usually an addiction. Its going to be ALOT easier for you to give up eating pork, then him to just get here and quit smoking. Hopefully, if hes serious about quitting smoking he will stop it while in Egypt.

    Not only that, but there are so many pork substitutes. I actually tended to buy turkey hotdogs, turkey ham, soy sausage, etc anyway (for health reasons) long before I met my husband, so there was very little adjusting once he got here. (he didn't insist that I stop buying pork, I did). The only thing I can't really find a substitute for is pork chops, but I can live without them. My 6 year old LOVES ribs, but she's just as happy with beef ribs. I also found Goya ham flavored concentrate (like powdered bouillon) and J & D's bacon salt (vegetarian) which contain no pork - only made out of plants and chemicals, apparently. I don't know if your SO would be comfortable eating any of that (my husband will eat kosher beef hot dogs, but doesn't like many of the other things, and of course won't eat any pork), but at least it will give you options if there are certain things you don't want to completely give up.

    I'm going to start a thread about foods we can substitute for things our SO can't eat.

    Best of luck!

    venusfire

  13. I also vote for pinning this! I wish I had known before sending my packet. One thing I kept hearing about was sending utilities and other things addressed to both of us. It was time consuming to dig all that stuff up out of the basement, and it turns out it was unnecessary!

    I wonder if the papers I sent from my children to my husband (handmade birthday cards, for example - with plenty of "I love you"s) would help show their relationship with him. I half joke that if we get picked for an interview, all I need to do is take one of them with me - especially the youngest, who likes to crawl up onto his shoulders, sit there, and pick at his hair (or sit on his lap and pick at his hair - he's got long, thick, curly hair). I did send pictures of him with them, as well as ones of all five of us.

    It never occurred to me to send copies of the kids' school contact cards with him listed, but I think I sent copies of medical bills with his name (as guarantor, with them listed as the patient) on them.

    venusfire

  14. We can get married Islamically even though I'm not Muslim?

    venusfire

    If the woman getting married is "of the people of the book" i.e. Christian or Jewish and the man is a Muslim, then yes, you can still have an Islamic marriage.

    Kenza,

    Thank you for letting me know that. It sounds like it might be easier to do it next time we visit Morocco, though. If we do it here, I'm not sure how we'd get it registered over there - sounds confusing.

    The only thing is, I thought only Muslims can go into mosques. Where are the ceremonies done?

    venusfire

  15. My husband went to Dr. Guidon back in 2006, and was not given any copies of the exam or anything. We didn't realize at the time that he would need them later. He called Dr. Guidon from here (yes, overseas) to ask for copies of his papers so we could do the vaccine record for AOS. The doc told him he doesn't keep records (this was only a few months later), and wasn't allowed to give him copies anyway. So, if you're considering going to him, you might want to call first to ask if you can get your paperwork while you're there. If he won't do it, I'd suggest going elsewhere - getting the information for AOS is a PITA. Oh, and USCIS lost his medical exam, and since Dr. Guidon wouldn't give us any paperwork, we had to pay to go to a Civil Surgeon to get another one done here (and it also delayed things). Yes, it's stupid - if he didn't have a medical exam for his visa, he wouldn't be here.... so you'd think they'd realize he HAD one.... It was a waste of time and money, and irritated us.

    Just sayin'

    venusfire

  16. To answer the OP, whatever you or anyone decides, it should be because it was something that person wanted, and found a peace with... not for anyone's sake, or fitting in, or looking good, etc. Everyone should stick to a religion and lifestyle which suites them. I think most people in the world, are labeled one religion or another, but they aren't really that religion. Is a Muslim that doesn't pray, fast, or abide by the rules really a Muslim? Or just labeled one? Is a Hindu that eats beef and doesn't believe in reincarnation really a Hindu? It's something to ponder... I often wonder if someone picks and chooses what they like of a religion and leave off things they dont' like...are they really of that religion??? Or have they created their own religion by doing so? Does religion require an all or nothing approach? Lots of things to think about after reading some of these posts. I think I've found some good conversation/debate for my husband tonight :lol:

    CnT4ever,

    I wasn't asking people so I could make a decision. It's just something I've been thinking about alot lately, and was curious about others' thoughts. I just don't really have people to discuss this with, and thought it would be something interesting to do online. I also figured this group would be a good place to do it, since we're more likely to understand than the people who live around me. I was right! I mentioned before, and want to mention again that I'm really impressed how civil everyone has been!

    I think you had a really good point - most people probably aren't very strict about their religions - at least from what I can tell. I know in my case, I was only exposed to Catholicism, and was led to believe that "we" were "right", and everyone else was delusional. I wouldn't choose Catholicism if it wasn't "assigned" to me. I haven't found a religion that I want to choose. If people ask, I usually just say "I was raised Catholic" because getting into a long conversation isn't usually the best idea. First of all, most people don't really want to know - kind of like "how are you?", they just want a short, simple answer. Not only that, but you just never know how people will react, and I am rarely in the mood to deal with people's possible reactions to what I might say. Especially if it's someone in my family! I love my relatives, but... this is not something I want to debate with them. And trust me, it WOULD be a debate. Sigh.

    I love that I've been able to post without being attacked, and that so many have shared their thoughts with me - and that they haven't been attacked either. This is just the kind of interaction I've been craving!

    I don't know if I'll ever "pick" a religion, but at least I've come to terms with the idea of not really identifying with one. It sounds like there are a few other people here with the same situation. Makes me feel almost normal! ^_^

    I guess it's good that most parents teach their children about "A" religion, even if the children don't always end up agreeing with it. We need guidance when we're young, until we can make our own decisions about things. I just wish that there wasn't this thing attached to it - the concept that if we decide to follow another religion when we're older, that we're going to Hell or something like that. We call it "Catholic guilt", but I don't think Catholics are the only ones who do it to their children!

    I'm sure many people just don't really think about it, or at least don't think about it for certain parts of your life. That was me for many years - just disassociated myself from the whole thing. Hearing my husband talk about God just brought it into my thoughts, and I think that's a good thing. My husband's faith has brought me closer to God, and I appreciate that, and have thanked him for that many times.

    Well, I think some people DO think that religion is an all or nothing thing, and that's what I used to believe, too. Now I don't think so. I'm sure some people will disagree with me, but I think it's ok to pick and choose what I think is "right". Then again, I don't consider myself to be a member of any religion either. And part of that is because I can't consider myself part of religion if I don't completely agree with it. If others want to consider themselves part of a religion they don't really follow, that doesn't bother me. That's something we need to decide on our own. Then again, I can understand how an observant member of a religion might not be too thrilled about someone who identifies themselves as part of that religion but don't take it seriously.

    I'm a "to each his own" kind of person.

    Anyway, thanks to everyone for the conversation. I hope to have more!

    venusfire

  17. Amanda,

    I'm far from an expert, but one thing that came to mind is to be careful about things like locking the door when you are changing to make sure he doesn't accidently see you naked during the day during Ramadan. Don't make sexual comments to him either, since Muslims are not supposed to think about sex while fasting. And be prepared to do without hugs and kisses until sundown!

    Also, if you don't fast, it's a good idea to eat and drink where he won't see you. Try to avoid cooking things with strong smells - especially if it's something he really likes. Those aren't things that I heard anywhere - just things that seem polite.

    Good luck if you do try to fast. Don't be hard on yourself if you aren't able to do it 100%, or slip up sometimes.

    venusfire

    Actually, unless her husband thinks about sex 24/7 and is unable to control himself, I don't see how changing clothes in front of him is going to do any harm. And there is nothing wrong with a hug and peck on the cheek goodbye in the morning before work or when coming home. Husbands and wives can be together, as long as it's not sexual or leads to sex. A kiss and hug doesn't have to be sexual.

    If I am not mistaken, even the prophet, salallahu alayhi wassalam, hugged and kissed his wives while fasting.

    I guess it all depends - my husband feels that it's not allowed (seeing me change, hugging, kissing, etc). I can't argue with him since it's not my religion, and I only know what I've heard from him (and a little that I've read about). I think it makes sense that it should be allowed as long as it doesn't lead to anything, but I can also see the logic in not taking chances (even if it didn't lead to action, it could lead to thoughts). Especially since, for some, what's forbidden is even more tempting! Either way, I wouldn't feel right about saying or doing anything to suggest that my husband should be less strict/observant. I think it's up to him to decide how he feels and how he wants to practice his religion. Just like it's up to everyone else! I guess what I should've said to Amanda was to talk to her SO and see what he believes is allowed or not allowed, and work with that. Hey, I'm learning!

    venusfire

  18. That just ain't right.

    People used to work their butt off to save that $8,000 for a down payment and now it's just given to them.

    It's unfettered socialism!

    I thought socialism was supposed to be about fairness.

    There's nothing fair about giving free money to someone who just happens to be buying a home this year.

    Ask a person who bought a home last year how s/he feels about that.

    like me, you mean?

    Same with the car program - I'd love to buy a car so we don't have to juggle just one (and this area doesn't have much in the way of public transportation - and moving out of the area with joint custody wasn't much of an option). Hell, with $8000, I could've had a nice downpayment and then afforded the monthly car payments. Instead, I get to sit in my house that I stretched to buy, and wish I could get a second car. And then I get to hear about people who benefitted from these unfair programs.

    venusfire

  19. I love these posts!

    Yes, I think that is kind of what it is - 'my' religion just doesn't fit me, and I really didn't think much about it for many years. Being around my husband, who loves being Muslim, and being reminded that God should be more a part of my life got me thinking about it alot. I even resorted to taking (gasp) an online quiz that is supposed to show you which religions most match your personal beliefs. I read through the brief description of my "top" ones, but nothing really fits. I guess I could just accept not being a member of any one religion, but keep learning and thinking (imagine that!) to figure out where I am...

    It does make sense, though - I kind of lost myself after all those years of being nothing but a wife and mother - two noble roles, but I wasn't "me" anymore. Well, my ex didn't appreciate me either, so that was more or less a waste anyway.

    After all of that (divorce and everything), I found myself in my own personal "visa journey". It's a good thing in the end, but really throws everything into a spin, as you all know. We've adjusted to things, so now it seems that religion is more on my mind than before.

    venusfire

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