venusfire503

Oh, also - we never received any NOA from the AR-11 that we did file.

venusfire

The USC Spouse/Sponsor is required to complete an I-865 (Sponsor's Change of Address) within 30 days of moving (not an AR-11).

Doubt you can get copies of AR-11's filed electronically - they (USCIS) may have a record of this - you likely did get confirmation letters each time you moved though. Not sure you actually need them though.

Karin und Otto,

Oh no - I was supposed to file an I-865? We moved last year, and we filed the AR-11....

I wonder... now what?

venusfire

I'm starting to wonder why we didn't get a reminder... We moved but updated our address with USCIS. We included the USPS receipts for both the AR-11 and I-865 with our application.

Silke,

We also moved, updated our address, and did not receive a reminder letter. Someone reminded me that just because you submit the AR-11, it doesn't necessarily update your address all over USCIS. So, we're guessing they sent a reminder to our old address, but since we moved more than a year ago, the post office didn't forward it. Oh well.

Good luck!

venusfire

This rambles on - sorry for that. And it doesn't even answer anything. Just my rambling thoughts.

I don't think people should do anything illegal. At the same time, many people do things out of desperation. If it came down to it, I imagine I would do all kinds of things if I really had to, if it was to take care of my children. I am SO blessed to have been born into a situation that was safe and somewhat comfortable (not rich, just no problems with basic needs). I'm also very lucky to have an education. As the saying goes "there but for the grace of God go I". Sure, I get annoyed with having to go through this whole (long, tiring, expensive, stressful) process just to be with the man I love. Sure, it annoys me that some people come here illegally. At the same time, I think of how lucky I am that I didn't have to do all of this to get here myself. I wish there was a different way. I get really upset when I hear how some people talk about immigrants. I've heard people act like they're better than everyone else JUST because they happened to be born here. I know people can list all kinds of legal reasons, but my heart will never understand why it has to be so hard to come to this country anyway. I wonder when my great-grandparents came over if it was difficult for them. I know we have to protect our country, but it seems so unfair that some people can come over to visit without a problem, and others can't get here unless they jump through all types of hoops. As long as we can screen out people who want to cause problems (like terrorists, for example), why can't anyone who is willing to work and contribute to our society come over? There was the DV Lottery, while people wait for months or years for current or intended spouses, and years or decades for other family members? I know, I know - my idea isn't exactly the most realistic. I was telling my dad what we've been going through the past few years, and he said something along the lines of "no wonder those poor SOBs come here illegally". Trust me, my dad is not even vaguely close to being (as he would put it) a 'bleeding heart liberal', so it's a good thing I was sitting down when he said it!

I don't know... sometimes, as a USC, I feel like we think of our country as one of those exclusive clubs with the bouncers outside that you see in the TV shows. Only the 'popular' ones can get in.

Imagine if anyone who wanted to could get in, as long as they passed the standards as our SOs? You know - background check, medical, etc. Wonder if our society would be better off... more people paying taxes? No green card marriage fraud? Who knows.

I just know that, when I walked through Morocco, I felt... guilty. Guilty that I have what I have when others don't have what they need. And I also know that many Moroccans even have it better than people in some other countries.

Yeah, I know that some people come to this country illegally, and don't have a problem draining the system just because they can. I have no idea about the woman mentioned by the OP. Maybe she was one of them. Or maybe she was just doing whatever she could to get by? Well, either way, I know the law is the law, and now she'll pay. I do feel sorry for people who are just trying to get by, and are honest at heart. If she's one of those, then I hope she figures something out. If she was one of those uncaring drains on the system, then YAY! Except for her child.

Ok, I did say that this would be a rambling post. I'm not even sure what my purpose is with it. Just having one of those days, and then saw something that sparked my brain a little.

Again, sorry.

I hope everyone had a nice weekend.

I also wish the best of luck to all of you who are doing things legally!

venusfire

I was wondering about car insurance for rentals in Morocco. We rented a car for the first time in Morocco when we went last year. First we made sure to get a credit card that would cover insurance if we used it for the rental. Then my husband ended up finding a place near his family that had reasonable rates, and even picked us up at the airport AND took us back. The only thing is, they didn't take credit cards, just cash. I was concerned, though, because I didn't think our auto insurance would cover a rental in Morocco. And I wasn't able to contact the company from there because of phone connection problems. Anyway, we lucked out - nothing happened to the car or anything. When we got back, I found out that we weren't covered. Don't want to go through that again!

My husband never drove before he got here, so he never had any kind of car insurance there. I was just wondering if anyone knows of a way to get a rental car insured when we're there? We'd love to use the same car rental company next time if possible, but don't want to chance something happening to the car. Is there a company here or there that will insure cars rented there?

venusfire

or could you ask your husband very nicely to go there without you to get your things for you? As a USC, he doesn't have to worry about being allowed to come back.

venusfire

If you really want to preserve your things in your apartment, and are waiting for your green card, and cannot get anyone to clear out your apartment for you... can you maybe figure out a way to continue to rent the apartment until you can get there? Think of it like paying for a storage facility instead of rent, and then it won't seem strange. I'm sure your loved ones 'back home' aren't going to disown you if you wait a few more months.

Just an idea. Don't know if it will help or not. I'm just thinking that a few months of rent to store everything could save you from a ban or losing your personal items.

Good luck

venusfire

This doesn't deal with the wedding part of this conversation. I don't have anything to say about that, at least not now. To me, that's more the family than the SO. Yes, I would probably be insulted if I felt slighted. Yes, I think any of you in that type of situation have a right to however you feel about it. I tend to care about what my husband thinks of me, and not so much what other people think. But then again, I tend not to notice things (sometimes that's a good thing - not always, though).

I hope the next part comes across the right way. If it upsets anyone, then it didn't come out the way I intended.

I had a long conversation with my husband about the 'double standard' of how MENA men treat women - local (usually virgins) vs. foreign (usually - at least assumed to be - non-virgins). He basically said it boils down to this - the local girls won't put themselves in a situation where they COULD have sex with the men. That's a combination of (1) it's been drilled into their brains and (2) there are too many people around (like their parents) who wouldn't let them get away with it anyway. He said if a foreign woman would say "no", that would be respected. Oh, and he also said the men are more or less afraid of the fathers of the locals, too. Not too many American men are going to fly over there to knock on their doors because of what was done with their daughters!

I asked him point blank, if he had met a Moroccan woman, fell in love with her, she agreed to have sex with him, and he didn't have to worry about her family (father) would he have had sex with her? He said yes. If I had refused, would he have left me alone? Again, yes. I do feel kind of stupid for not doing more research before visiting him (and not just about that). I don't know if it would've made much difference. Hard to say.

So... as sweet as they are, they're still men. So, it's not that they care more about the local women. It just so happens that the opportunities more often come with the foreign women. I'm NOT saying that this means it's all our faults, though. (I guess he technically could've told me how American women were perceived.) I'm just telling you - again - how it was explained to me. You have to admit, there's a big difference in how things are often done here (or wherever we happen to be) and there.

Yes, it's still ok to feel cheated or insulted. I was just hoping that posting the information that I got might help someone feel a little better. Hearing it helped me. If it didn't help you, I hope it didn't make things worse. If it upset you, or made you feel bad, I'm sorry. That was definitely not my intent.

Best of luck to everyone...

venusfire

What if more than three months have passed AND there were no muslim witnesses at the ceremony?

Jenn,

The Zawaj section of the Moudawanat Alousra addresses marriage abroad. It first says how the Moroccan National: in according with local law but also with two Muslim witnesses. It doesn't have to declare the sadaq but it should not sadaq was declined.

The second point says the marriage should be registered within three months with the consulate.

My guess would be registering and validating marriages are two different things, that the consulate wants to know of any marriages, but that Morocco will only recognize the marriages performed according to the Moudawana. Maybe they only want to know about "valid" marriages. It isn't very clear.

As far as beyond three months, beats me We are going to find out because we plan to declare our marriage.

Rebecca

Did you ever find out? We've been married for over two years now. I was wondering if we just have to do it again Islamically next time we visit Morocco. I really don't know how to do it here, since we're already married....

thanks

venusfire

Well, my husband doesn't have a US passport, and hasn't even filed to remove conditions yet... I just want to make sure we take care of everything the right way.

thanks

venusfire

Ah, I found this after changing the words in Search.

So,... anyone find out anything?

We were married in 2007, but not Islamically. We don't have any children yet, but hope to some day (inchalla). His passport expires in 9 months.

Just wondering what we need to do, how to do it, and when....

thanks for any information

venusfire

Hi everyone

I know I saw a different thread about this a while ago, but it didn't turn up on my search.

So, is there a problem with NOT registering the marriage? How can we do that anyway? I think I read somewhere about how to do it, and why. And also why it might be a problem since we weren't married in a mosque or anything. My husband's passport expires in January, which I know is a little ways off, but... well, I just happened to remember about it for some reason. I know myself - if I don't take care of it now, I'll forget again until it's probably too late.

Sigh

Anyway, we would appreciate any information anyone can give us about this whole process. I hope we don't really have to drive the whole way to NY, but then again, I don't want his ID card to get 'lost'.....

venusfire

I will probably get blasted from all of the K1 filers out there but I mean no offense, just a question to the OP...

Would you consider living with and subsequently having "relations" with a local girl for 2 weeks without being married to her?

Would that be accepted by your family, or hers?

This is what you should be asking yourself IMHO. Do what you think is right.

Does it look good to have married days after arrival and meeting? Some CO's dont think so, but like I said in your other post.. most understand that it is the socially acceptable option. I would worry about a short courtship, not marrying on the first visit.

Before reading anything I've written, please understand that I'm not agreeing/arguing with or siding for/against anyone or anything. I'm just telling what I understand from the way it has been presented to me.

First of all, we're assuming that he's planning on having "relations" with her. It might be a good assumption, but then again, maybe we're wrong about that.

Um, I can't really give a good explanation for this, but the way it was explained to me is there are different rules for "local" (Moroccan) and "American" women. Kind of like a double standard. I guess it's because everyone there assumes that women in America aren't virgins anyway. Also, many American women who go over there (applied to me) were already married and/or had children. Not saying I agree with this logic (or even like it), but that's the way I heard it is. Also, if the American woman isn't Muslim, I think that adds to the 'logic'.

I was also told that it's very common to have very short 'courtships' over there. Most couples quickly make the decision on whether or not to marry, probably in part because of the taboo against premarital sex. Unlike here, they don't bother with years of dating. Either get engaged and married, or move on.

I agree with what others said - it depends on so many things, such as how long you've known each other, etc. For one thing, is she recently divorced? Is she Muslim? If she comes from a background where short engagements are not unusual, it might make a difference. It's best to look at ALL of the different parts of the relationship.

Now, on to my advice. I would recommend waiting for a marriage. First of all, do you want to take the chance that you will be one of the lucky ones who get approved? I know it's hard to be apart, but I imagine it's even more difficult if you're married. Also, it's hard enough to get a visa through Casa... why make it harder?

And not to be a cynic, but... what if the process takes several years? Is a marriage that new going to last through all of that? A break up is much easier than a divorce.

On the other hand... If the relationship is meant to be, it can last while you wait to get married. You can always make the decision to get married later.

Only you can ultimately decide what is best for you, though. You might get married, and get lucky - no problems with the visa. You might decide to wait on marriage and do the K-1, and have a long wait, too. You never know. Just from what I've heard though, it seems the best chances for a faster, less complicated way to get here is with the K-1.

For what it's worth, we decided on the K-1. It took less than 3 months. I had just finally finished my divorce and sent the package as soon as I received my divorce decree. We also had different backgrounds, an 11 year age difference (I'm older), and hadn't known each other very long. I wouldn't say we had the 'best' situation for the best chances, but it worked for us. The only thing that might have made our case 'better' would have been to wait.

No matter what you do, listen to your heart. Be open and honest with each other. If you are at all religious, PRAY.

I hope my post was more helpful than confusing.

Best of luck!

venusfire

Hahahah he sounds like my dad! My dad saves any sort of possibly reuseable container...cool whip containers, sour cream containers, pb jars, etc.

Astarte,

Kind of besides the point, but... cool whip containers are awesome for storing CDs.

heehee

venusfire

Thank you to all for replying.

We'll go ahead and copy the 2008 tax return, W-2s, and post office receipts. We'll send that with the 2007 transcripts, all of our other information, and the required forms, check, etc. We'll also keep checking for the 2008 transcripts. I think since we waited to file last week, and also did not file electronically, it might take too long to justify waiting to send in our I-751 application. Yes, his card expires in July. I think even if we get the RFE, it will take less time to send in the transcripts then rather than wait for them to send in everything in the first place.

The fun begins..... (ok, continues, actually....)

venusfire

P.S. Thank you for the links, too - reading them, as well as other posts, has given me more ideas of things to send. I think with USCIS, you can't be TOO prepared!

This thread might also interest you.

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...=tax+transcript

Poochie,

I just have to thank you for the "bored" stick figure thing - my kids LOVE it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

venusfire

Hi everyone.

Well, we sent our 2008 taxes last Tuesday (a day early), and were wondering if anyone has any idea how long it will take until the tax transcripts will be available? We are within our 90 day window (as of this week), and would really like to be able to send our packet soon. I was hoping to get taxes done earlier, but they took longer than I had expected (this is the first time I ever itemized, and it was more work than I had expected - I actually gave up and just filed with the info I had, knowing I'll later have to file an amended return). He called, and the tax transcripts are not available yet.

My husband wants to send everything with just the 2007 transcript, and a copy of the 2008 tax form we filed (we did it ourselves, so I don't know how we could prove we actually sent them, other than enclosing a copy of the post office receipt). We have the usual stuff ready now (joint accounts, bills, etc). Our strongest evidences are the paperwork for the house we bought together, the car title in both our names, and having each other listed as beneficiary on life insurance and retirement accounts. And the 2007 tax transcript, of course (but not 2006, since we weren't married then).

I'm sure there's a very good chance of getting RFE if we don't wait for the 2008 transcript. But we wonder if waiting for the transcripts will just delay us longer than the RFE itself (if we send without the 2008 transcripts, we'll keep trying until we get them, so they'd be ready for the RFE).

I think we should maybe wait just one more week, and then see if we can get the transcripts.

Any thoughts from anyone?

venusfire

Maybe it won't help, but it won't hurt, either. I did hear of a case where the interviewer actually pointed to the lady's belly and said to the husband "is that yours"? Very rude. Better to hear it now, just in case, though!

I wonder if you could find a way to make the pregnancy work for you, though. Maybe have a friend or family member write you a "congratulations" card and mail it to the two of you. Another idea is to have someone take a picture of the two of you preparing the baby's room, shopping for baby things, or something. I'm sure you can come up with a way.

Anyway, best of luck at the interview! Congratulations on the baby!

venusfire

Always ring them or drop by in person if possible. It's far better than going by 'vanilla' info published on county websites.

This is absolutely the thing to do. Ironically, when our turn came, I phoned, and I was not told that I needed my SSN (or proof thereof) in order to receive a marriage license! Learning that reality upon showing up in person, I blew home, destroyed the inside of a drawer while fruitlessly looking for my SS card, and found only some U.S. savings bonds with my SSN on them. I took one back to the office; the clerk scratched her head, made a call to a supervisor, and said "OK!" That was the first and perhaps the last time that a savings bond will be submitted there for proof of a SSN, si man.

We married on Hallowe'en and had our celebratory party on Pearl Harbor Day, so who knows what that bodes for the marriage? At least we'll have our pick of good restaurants every Oct. 31, si man.

Returning to being serious: Under any circumstances, do NOT (do NOT! do NOT!) let that 90-day requirement slip by before marrying! Do whatever it takes (Las Vegas, or whatever) to comply with it. And, to be precise: It's the I-94 that expires in 90 days. The K-1 visa is "dead on arrival" at POE.

We got caught with that, too. We were told on the phone that he'd need a social security number, so we went and applied. It didn't take too long, so we went to get the marriage license. THEN they told us "oh no, he doesn't need a SSN, but YOU need your actual SS# card". Sigh. Back to the social security office, then a wait for my actual card.... and I needed to apply soon after for one in my new name. It's ok, though - we got everything done in plenty of time.

That's a shame you've had to worry and wait. Best of luck getting everything done on time!

venusfire

A question I have for you ladies who have children from previous marriages. How did your husband feel about your children and how did he adjust to them? Were there any jealous or insecure feelings?

My husband did very well, but I think he kind of knew he was in for alot. I would call him up sometimes when things weren't going so well, and he'd calm me down. My ex taught the children not to respect me, so it was really hard when I first moved out after all the divorce paperwork was signed. It's gotten much better now. Also, the divorce was still fairly fresh in their minds, and I was still adjusting to being on my own. It was alot all at once. Anyway, to answer your last question, there was no jealousy or insecure feelings on his part. My ex seems jealous about the children's relationship with their stepfather, though.

You also have to think about how the children will adjust to him as well.

Alot will depend on their ages. My little one was only 3 when he got here, and she avoided him, which upset him. He was worried that she wouldn't ever like him. I told him that as hard as it was, to just ignore her. He listened, and after a few days, she approached him. Then everything was fine. She adores him now - crawls up on his lap, etc. My son was 6 when my sweetie got here. He loved him right away, and says that his stepfather is his favorite person in the world. My daughter was 9, and was so excited when he got his visa. Things were great for about a year and a half. Then not so much. Things got really bad right after her dad remarried, and it took from last June until very recently until things got better. Everything seems ok now, and I hope it stays that way.

I think it's very helpful that you're thinking ahead on this. Good luck!

venusfire

I almost hate to post this, but my husband's been here since May 2008, he hasn't had any serious problems adjusting, nor been really homesick. He's done almost everything on his own - from getting his Social Security Card and state ID to finding a job and punctually navigating on public transportation, improving his English - with minimal assistance. He thinks we work too hard and take friendships too much for granted, wishes he had Moroccan buds to hang out at the coffee shop with, even puts up with my evil and cruel older sister with dignity and grace; he just moves from day to day with few complaints.

He's got housework, laundry, and grocery shopping down pat, doesn't drive and doesn't care much about that, has his own bank accounts and manages money well. My friends and family all love him, and he loves them. Other than being cranky without enough sleep and a cup of coffee in the morning, his sweet, thoughtful, easy-going, laid-back, accomodating, go with the flow attitude has made him a breeze to live with. But, we don't have the language, cultural and religious gulfs to close, and that probably has a lot to do with our happiness and lack of drama. We're a great match! I'm truly blessed.

Sorry

Why are you sorry? It's wonderful to hear that things are going well for you! I like to tell people when things are good for me, in an effort to give others hope.

I can relate to much of both the good and bad I've been reading on here. Sometimes it's really difficult, but I wouldn't trade my situation for anything. I hope no one takes this the wrong way (including my husband if he sees this), but to me, it's kind of similar to dealing with my children. I love them very much, but two of them have been labelled "emotionally disturbed", and I have my hands full. My son especially is very challenging, but he's also very cuddly and sweet. The love I have for and from all of them makes the frustration worth it all to me.

Especially considering where I came from.... my first husband made lots of money, but was emotionally unavailable. It didn't work well. It's so incredible to be married to someone who actually likes to spend time with me. I love it - he calls it "being sticky". Now that I have the love and affection I always needed, I can deal with everything else so much better than before. Even his little quirks

Best of luck to all!

venusfire

I fell in love with him because he was so different than anyone I had ever met. I don't know how I could tell at first, just over the internet (webcam), but I could. One day I realized one of my shirt buttons was undone, and apologized to him as I buttoned it up. He appreciated it. Not like some guys, who would've made some lame comment about how I should unbutton more instead. He also thanked me for leaving the view of the camera to change into my pajamas one night. I'll never forget that, even though it was almost 3 years ago. It was and is so wonderful to be with someone who RESPECTS me, as well as himself.

I also love how down to earth he is. He doesn't try to show off, never tried to impress me with things (like most people, I would've been able to see through something like that anyway). I'm not the type of person who is impressed with money, flashy/showy things, etc. What impresses me about him is that he's sweet, smart, loving, and respectable. Over the last few years, I've been very impressed with him - the way he handles things, his willingness to stick it out through all the ####### we've had to deal with, the way he's not afraid to try things, how much he knows, how much he's learning... just as examples.

I also loved the way he could calm me down or lift me up, even over the computer or phone. I was going through a rough time, and he made it so much easier, even before he got here.

I couldn't imagine life without him.

venusfire

I've been putting the lid down for years - first, because of the cats I had, later, because of the kids. Can't put the lid down without putting the seat down! Safety for the kids is most important. Not only that, if things get dropped - toothbrush, etc - (esp possible with wee ones around), it's nice when they don't end up in the water, right? The kids learned at an early age. The ex actually followed along back then, and now my sweetie does too.

See, women - getting cooperation might just be a matter of rephrasing the reason behind the rule.

heehee

Of course, then everyone has something to do - before and after.

haha

venusfire

And the good thing that I notice about him is that he does not stare at women on the street which I find odd. And I will teaze him and say, Isn't that lady pretty? And he will always respond, "I have my lady and she is very beautiful".

I am amazed at how great of a person he is, so unlike the creep I was with before.

I asked my husband to read those last 2 parts, and before I got to say anything, he asked "did you write that?". Well, the reason I was showing him was because I was thinking I could have written that!

Aren't we lucky now?

venusfire

You have to make your own decisions, and no one can tell you what to do. I recommend, though, that you find out as much as you can about your options. I would hope there's something you can do to get him deported. If the man is abusing you (esp. just days after getting here), it's ridiculous that you could be responsible for supporting his sorry azz. If you press charges, it might make a difference. I know it sounds cold, but if you don't do something about it now, you'll have a long future of 1 - being worried about what he might do later; 2 - being finally responsible for and maybe put into debt supporting a man who abused you. Someone else probably knows more about this than I do, but I would think that being charged with a felony would at least potentially be grounds for deportation....

I wish you the best of luck. Like someone else said, take good care of yourself (I know, easier said than done).

venusfire

Congratulations!

venusfire

P.S. I just posted to your other thread....