venusfire503

Hi everyone! I don't know if people here know me much or not. I tend to hang out on VJ for hours on end, and then don't even log on for a while... depends on what's going on in my life.

I met my sweetie on MySpace during my divorce, back in May 2006. We got married soon after he got here from Morocco, which was Dec. 2006. We just sent the ROC paperwork on May 1 (of this year). There was alot going on in between all of that. There have been a few tough things - some within the relationship (adjusting), and some from outside (friends, family, society) - sounds like many of you know what I mean. Things are wonderful between us now, and we basically don't deal with people who "have problems" with us. Other than the ####### with my ex.... sigh...

I find it interesting that even though we have so many differences (age, religion, background, etc), the biggest obstacles we've faced are external. The biggest adjustment we've had within our relationship was more a male/female thing than anything else - I had to learn to leave him alone when he's upset instead of trying to 'fix' the problem. Once he has a chance to be alone and think for a little, he comes to me and then we talk. It's worked wonderfully, even with all the other ####### that is around us (like my ex trying to take my kids away from me). Someone here once posted that things got wonderful after a tough adjustment period, and that really gave me hope - and it also turned out the same for me!

I try to help and encourage people whenever I am on VJ. I wish I could be here more often, but between dealing with my ex and looking for a job, I just don't always find the time. I appreciate all the advice and moral support I've received over the years.

Best of luck to all!

venusfire

I've never peed in the shower but I'm sure my kids and my husband does. I know for a fact he blows his nose in there while he's in the shower 'cause you can hear it across the hallway. Blech. Have you ever cleaned the bathtub/shower drain? I do it once/month and it's deeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssguuuuuuuuuuusting!!!!!!!!!!!!! Chalk full of booger juice and hair. Blech.

Just dump some vinegar down the drain every week or two - clears everything out, safely.

venusfire

uh, no, i was standing behind him. and his aim has always been very good

Um.... will anyone think I'm rude if I say that it works better if he's behind you?

Just kidding.

venusfire

Ant and D,

That's wonderful! Congratulations, and best of luck!

venusfire

I was just wondering if biometrics are normally mentioned on the website updates. I checked my husband's case online, and the only thing mentioned is "application received". Nothing about the biometrics - and he went in mid June. I just want to make sure his information wasn't lost or whatever. I can't remember if it was mentioned when he got his conditional card.

Thanks!

venusfire

I'm not saying this will solve your problem, but I recommend getting a letter (maybe even copies of your medical records) from your doctor stating the extent of your disability. If you can show that you were entirely dependent on your wife, and unable to file the paperwork on your own, there's a chance (not sure how big or small) that you can use that for some kind of waiver or an appeal or something. Again, I don't know if it will work or not - just brainstorming for ideas.

It's not good for a parent and child to be separated. It sounds like you just want to chance to visit once in a while. I hope you are able to find a way to do so.

Best of luck.

venusfire

I hope there are no delays. We got stuck in London for 2 days when he was first coming here.... I hope the scanned and emailed NOA1 will help. Or maybe there is something in the system letting them know you filed? Not sure. I wish you the best, though.

venusfire

Ok, I might be having a brain fart right now (my kids say "mommy's brain went on vacation" - haha), but I just want to clear something up. Partly just for curiosity (we're past the AOS point, and made sure to send his AOS packet well under the 90 days of his arrival), and partly to clear it up for people who actually need to know. I was under the impression that there was no real deadline, but just "the sooner the better". Now it seems there is/has been actually a 90 day limit for both the marriage and filing for AOS?

Ok, when someone gets here, they get their I-94 with a date written in. My husband's had a date written in for 90 days after arrival, which was also the deadline for our marriage. Is that always the case (a 90 day I-94 for a K-1)? If someone waited until day 90 to get married, they'd have to stop off at the post office that day to mail the package to avoid being out of status (which would be very difficult, if not impossible, because of needing a copy of the marriage certificate)?

I think the answers for all of those are "yes", but just wanted to make sure.

venusfire

Hey,

I was worried that our situation might be considered a "quick engagment" and was wondering if it might cause any problems for us...

Some of you might already know my story... I met my fiancee in Morocco while I was studying abroad last fall, we first met in October and we got engaged a couple weeks right before I left in mid December right before Christmas... so it was about 2 months of knowing each other before i proposed to her. we technically kind of had to get engaged quickly because in their culture parents shouldnt know of casual relationships, only when he proposes and it is serious enough for marriage. and of course there is no way her parents would have accepted if they hadnt met me first before my leaving. we both graduated college just this past semester and now im starting a full-time job. so obviously i havent been able to save the money to go back there again for another visit. its hard saving money for that especially in my situation.

might that be a problem though? im gonna front-load the petition a lot and im writing a little extra for the "how we met" question. what does everyone think?

That's not so unusual for Morocco. Our relationship also moved along very quickly, and we were in different countries except for visits. We were married about 8 months after our very first email. We've been married almost 2-1/2 years now.

I really do urge you to look through the MENA forum. You'll hear about many couples with short courtships, and even couples who married on the first visit. That will ease your mind. You'll also get an idea about the difficulties that you could possibly face, going through Casa. The most important thing you'll get, though, is information about things to do, things to avoid, and ways to make it go as quickly and smoothly as possible.

Best of luck!

venusfire

Unless I'm mistaken, he can file for ROC right away since he is divorced - he doesn't need to wait for the 90 days before expiration of the conditional green card.

venusfire

hey u all just jecket my online status and it touched by saing i should recive my card in 60 days.

card production on 7/4 independed day!!!! lol..

thank u for this website and all the great people here. thank u so much!!!!

Congratulations! When did you file?

venusfire

I was married June 21st 2009 and my visa expires July 22 2009. We are sending our package for the AOS this week but what is my deadline to send in the package for AOS. Is it July 22 2009?? Am I in trouble since I've waited?? We just got back from our honeymoon. Please help since I'm a little nervous now. Thank you!

Cindy

According to your profile, you came on a K-1. I just want to point out that your visa doesn't expire on July 22. It would expire then if you didn't use it (like a coupon). It was valid until you used it to get here, then it was basically useless. It would probably be more clear if they wrote something like "valid for one use any time before ___"

There is no actual (to my knowledge) deadline for filing AOS. Just make sure you do NOT leave the country until you get your Advance Parole letter or green card. You won't be allowed to come back unless you have one of those with you.

Congratulations on your marriage (and success getting the visa). I hope you enjoyed your honeymoon. Relax and bask in the memories of the honeymoon, and enjoy being a newlywed. Then when you're ready, you can start gathering everything you need to file for AOS (but the sooner, the better, really). Just think about all those honeymoon pictures you can use for AOS.

Best of luck.

venusfire

My visa expired over 8 years before I filed AOS. Nobody cares. What counts is that you entered the country legally; thereafter you can adjust status at any time.

I think that's true (I'm sure someone will correct me if we're wrong about that). However, it's not recommended to wait for any length of time. First of all, your status is kind of vague and you could run into some problems if stopped for any reason (even if you're eventually let go, who wants to go through any hassle, really). Also, you just never know when there will be some kind of emergency where you need to return to your home country. I've read many stories on VJ of people who really wanted/needed to leave, but were very concerned because they didn't see how they could get back into the country. You don't want to put yourself in a position of a desire to go home for some pressing reason but worrying about facing a ban. And not to wish anything bad on anyone, but I also read about someone who didn't bother to file AOS and suddenly, after many years, facing an unexpected divorce. I don't remember the exact details, but he faced deportation and a ban - after having a whole new life here, and maybe even children.

So, bottom line - don't panic if you don't file within a certain number of days, but I strongly suggest you file as soon as you can. Not only does it preserve/protect your status, but also get you on the road to 'finishing' with USCIS, and gets one more thing off your mind. If you want to eventually become a citizen, remember that the sooner you get your green card, the sooner you're eligible to apply for citizenship. Oh, and you also could save money by not waiting until fees rise again or face extemely long processing time due to everyone trying to beat the fee increase - I'm sure I'm not the only one who remembers the backlog created with the last fee increase!

venusfire

Thank you for this well thought out reply. I would like to add that making the decision to sponsor family for a visa should go beyond "because it's family." The petitioner needs to consider whether the beneficiary will likely become a public charge. This is why the Affidavit of Support is a stand alone document. When a petitioner brings someone over, that person is guaranteeing that taxpayers will be reimbursed if the beneficiary becomes a public charge. If someone takes on this risk, I feel bad for him if the beneficiary becomes a financial burden, but the petitioner should not expect sympathy as it was a risk that was made clear from the beginning.

I bring this up because lots of people want to bring elderly parents over without thinking through the financial cost to their spouse and children. The parents are often not able to work or find work because of old age, lack of marketable skills or lack of English skills. The parents are not entitled to Social Security or Medicare. Petitioners need to consider the potential consequences of such sponsorship rather than just naively hoping that everything will work out.

I think your point was very important. The problem is, as humans we tend to think "it won't happen to me", and we also tend to think a loved relative (especially a parent) isn't going to do something to screw us over. It's also hard to say "no" to a parent. Maybe OP, out of belief that dear old dad would not become a problem, and out of strong love, decided to sponsor. Who knows why the father is now refusing to work. It could be one of dozens of reasons - too proud to admit not being able to find a job, not wanting to work, suffering a mental breakdown... whatever.

I also want to repeat that this scenario could happen to ANY of us who sponsor someone. Whatever excuse is in your mind (each individual reader, not anyone in particular) right now about how the person YOU sponsored would never do that to you is possibly the same thing OP thought when deciding to become a sponsor.

Some might have sympathy for people who don't "luck out" and some might not. I usually do, because I see the potential in most or all of us to find ourselves in a situation that others could say "you should have known better". We all take chances, have 'bad luck', and/or screw up, although in different ways. Some of us just have to pay a bigger price than others.

Best wishes to all.

venusfire

(note: I posted this in another vj message thread before, but I'll re-post it here for this general "how we met" poll too here...)

Hi Everyone,

What an interesting poll and post topic, indeed! Thanks for sharing all of your meeting stories, to those who have posted already. And to those who have yet to post, feel free to share your story and vote in the poll, too.

Now here is our (Ant and D's story), as told through my (Ant's) presepctive:

Our story begins about 10 years ago (2000), where we met each other online in a "writing group" on yahoo groups . The funny thing is that this group doesn't exist anymore, so as to the exact name of the online group where we met, who knows...(or at least I can't remember at the moment)...

Besides our common interest in writing, during that time, we also found out that we had similar medical conditions, so privately, we talked more about that, through yahoo messenger, e-mails, and heck, even through my online diary (by the way, that doesn't exist anymore either). We understood each other, and remained good online friends. So you would think that we would meet in-person then, right? But....

I was under-aged at the time and my husband was over-aged by many years...And that would be a legal no-no...

So we parted our separate ways, as he focused on his life and I focused on mine...

Ok, jump ahead 4 years later (2004), and at this time, we were both legal adults, and had both hit a low point in our lives. I was cleaning out my yahoo messenger list and found his name still on the list. And likewise, he was cleaning out his list, and found my name on the list too. Weird, that we would have each other's name on our lists, but deleted everyone else from it...So we continued from where we left off, and chatted through yahoo messenger and by e-mail as friends, but after awhile decided that we were more than just friends and decided to be boyfriend/girlfriend instead...

It wasn't until several months later, that we decided to meet each other in-person. It turns out that we only lived 300 miles/600 km from each other close to the border, with me being in Ontario, Canada and he being in NYS, USA. So we decided to meet in Canada (as I felt safer meeting where I was), and he drove all the way up to meet me then. Lol...that first meeting was very awkward socially for the both of us (aren't all first meetings awkward anways?), but we still had a good time together. So we decided to meet again and felt more comfortable with each other as we met with each other more often in Canada. Eventually we ended up living with each other part-time for several weeks at a time this way. We continued meeting each other this way for several years, since I had other obligations and could not visit and/or move the USA right away to see him.

Ok, jump ahead another 2 years later (2006), and we joked around the idea about getting married. But....

There was one catch: I had to visit him in the USA...

So several months later, as also mentioned in my VJ timeline:

Chapter 1 "Visited": Ant travelled from Canada to see long-term boyfriend D in the USA. Ant and D being harassed at the USA/Canada border (POE: Rainbow Bridge, Niagara Falls) for 2 hours was 'not a picnic in the park' for them. The Immigration Officer then made Ant get a B2 Visitor's Visa Passport Stamp and I-94 Arrival-Departure Card to visit for two weeks, even though Canadians are exempt from such requirements. However, what originally was a short visit was instead a 'rainbow crossing over' into a 'lifelong visit' for Ant and D in the USA.

Chapter 2 "Married": Ant and D had a small garden/park spontaneous elopement in the Niagara County Region NYS USA on 2006-04-28. A memorable and lovely occasion, on the eve of D's milestone birthday. D and Ant, as Husband and Wife, happily married and living in the USA. Together Forever!

Now jump ahead another 3 years (2009), and here is where I am now, as also mentioned in my VJ timeline:

Chapter 4/5 "Expected": Ant's Pregnant! AntandD are hoping for a healthy Baby!

Baby's Estimated Due Date (9 months waiting): July 2009

The Journey Continues, Our Story Continues.....

Anyways, thanks for reading our "How did Ant and D meet?" story! Hope you all liked it and found it entertaining....

Ant (The Journey Continues, Our Story Continues...)

Cute story!

Hope to hear of the birth soon... and hope all is well.

venusfire

I have just received my I-512L letter; I'm excited and would like to visit my family. The only thing that concerns me is the disclaimer about the inadmissibility of this due to "Unlawful Presence. Does the time frame for unlawful presence begin when my Visa expired?

I would like to thank you in advanced for your assistance.

More people will be able to help you if you provide a little more information. For example, what type of visa did you have? When did it expire? Where country are you from? I'm guessing you filed for AOS and are awaiting a decision.

I ask partly because many people incorrectly believe that their K-1 visa 'expires' at a certain time after they get here and then they are 'overstaying' (or something like that) until they get their green card. A K-1 is 'done' once it is used - the only reason there is a date on it is to let you know how long you have to use it (kind of like a store coupon) to enter.

If you came on another type of visa, and the time period really did expire, you can't leave and then re-enter with Advance Parole. If you came on a K-1 (and maybe some other visas - I don't know much about those), for example, and followed all the rules, you can use the AP letter to return after leaving the country. Some people will caution you against using it even in those cases, depending on your home country. Like someone else said, there are never any absolute guarantees about being allowed to enter the US, even with a visa. MOST times, there are no problems.

Either way, please let us know a little more about your situation so that you can get the answers you need.

Best of luck!

venusfire

If you are part of a church, temple, or whatever type of religious organization, you can try there. Or look around for some type of Chinese immigrant organization. Sometimes there are places that can help.

Is there any way you can go to China with her? Once you both have jobs, you can look into coming back later.

Best of luck!

venusfire

We don't know her circumstances. It's very possible she and her ex had an arrangement where he worked and she stayed at home, and then she found herself being served divorce papers. She wouldn't be the first person to get 'caught' in that situation (but that's another subject). Also, since I don't know very much about her, I have no idea if she is getting anything at all from the divorce - probably little or no alimony, and not even sure about child support. If they had the child together, I would imagine she'd get some, but most likely not enough to take care of everything. Having a child with the USC would make it difficult or impossible for her to "go back to her country". Even if she brought the child here with her, there is the issue of the child no longer getting to see his/her stepfather (which might be a bigger deal than some people think, especially if the child was very young when arriving).

It's also very possible she IS trying to find a job, like many others, and just hasn't been successful yet. She did only mention insurance, and not full financial support, after all. It's hard enough for a USC to get a job right now - imagine how difficult for an immigrant without a work history in this country. Even harder to find one that will pay her enough to live on, especially with child care (I'm assuming the child is not in school yet, and also that she doesn't have family here to help her). We don't know - maybe she is even working part time, and that's why she only asked about health insurance.

Anyway, unless/until she IS successful in finding an adequate job, she has the issue of health insurance. Not just for herself, but also for a child. I don't know if the child is eligible for any free or reduced cost insurance. Her ex should step up and make sure the child is insured, if at all possible. It's probably included in his insurance, if he has any (except maybe if it's her child from before they met - not sure).

Her question was simply if he was required to insure her. As she probably now knows, he's not. However, it might be advisable for him (because of the Affidavit of Support) to provide it in order to prevent the government from going after him if she gets sick - IF there is a way she could get some types of means tested medical benefits. I'll admit I don't know exactly how that works - I'm sure someone else is more knowledgeable about this. I know there was another thread about a USC who was concerned about his father, who he sponsored, and who had no health insurance.

She might be able to convince her soon-to-be-ex to provide health insurance for her short term, while she attempts to get a full time job, if not doing so could come back to bite him in the future (protect them both). I hope for all of them (ex, OP, and the child) that she is willing and able to find a decent job, and soon.

venusfire

P.S. My heartfelt sympathies for ANYONE without health insurance, by the way. Long story, but I'm trying to prevent being in that group myself in the future....

When I went to the courthouse, there was a certified copy available, and then what they called an "exemplified" copy. I was told that the exemplified copy is what is needed for immigration purposes. One difference between the two is that the exemplified copy has a gold sticker on it. The first time I ordered one from the court house, they accidently sent me the certified copy (I didn't know the difference when I received it in the mail), and I ended up getting an RFE and having the send in the exemplified one to USCIS later.

If you already sent in your packet with a certified copy, just go get the exemplified copy to send in with your RFE.

Best of luck!

venusfire

Oops - BIG goof... I was thinking of the marriage certificate for the AOS, not the divorce decree for the visa...

Sorry for the confusion...

venusfire (very embarrassed....and apologetic)

Part 5 is for any children born from the PR and USC together as well as any children that were immigrating (or immigrated after) with their Non USC parent is my interpretation. Any children of the USC that have no legal tie to the PR you do not put (mark NONE).

This seems logical to me - children of the LPR, not those of just the USC. I'd only add to what you said (for any with this situation): any children adopted by the LPR. Either way, as much as the LPRs might love their stepchildren, they aren't legally their children. For example, if something happened to me, my husband would have no legal rights to even see my children. (I won't even get started on that - not actually relevant to this discussion)

venusfire

Not sure how I got on the CSC list.... moved myself to the VSC list.

venusfire

CSC May Filers

UserName.........Date of I-751.....NOA1 Date.....Biometrics......Approved

Silke.....................04/27/09..........04/28/09........06/27/09.........--/--/--

elwintro................05/01/09..........05/04/09........07/06/09.........--/--/--

ready4ONE............05/09/09..........05/11/09........07/07/09........--/--/--

featherB...............05/09/09..........05/11/09........07/07/09........--/--/--

Jolene551.............05/09/09..........05/22/09........07/07/09........--/--/--

ktos....................05/22/09..........05/27/09........07/09/09........--/--/--

flutter95..............05/22/09..........--/--/--.............--/--/--.............--/--/--

liebi810................05/26/09..........05/28/09........07/16/09........--/--/--

elmcitymaven.......06/02/09..........06/09/09........07/03/09........--/--/-- [showing May filers advantages of June!]

VSC May Filers

UserName.........Date of I-751....NOA1 Date.....Biometrics......Approved

scooby06.............05/01/09..........05/16/09.........06/09/09........--/--/--

venusfire503.........05/01/09..........05/14/09........06/12/09.........--/--/--

mozplay...............05/04/09..........05/07/09.........06/11/09........--/--/--

fozzie..................05/08/09..........05/13/09.........06/12/09........--/--/--

jane2009 .............05/12/09.........05/15/09..........--/--/--..........--/--/--

little4ele...............05/24/09.........05/29/09.........07/06/09........--/--/--

LisalovestheUSA ....05/27/09.........06/01/09.........06/30/09........--/--/--

celikkanat..............--/--/--..........--/--/--...........--/--/--........--/--/--

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REMEMBER: "Date of I-751" is the date you sent your petition - NOT the date it

arrived at the service center. "NOA1 Date" is the 'Notice Date' shown on the NOA1 —

NOT the date you received it.

When I went to the courthouse, there was a certified copy available, and then what they called an "exemplified" copy. I was told that the exemplified copy is what is needed for immigration purposes. One difference between the two is that the exemplified copy has a gold sticker on it. The first time I ordered one from the court house, they accidently sent me the certified copy (I didn't know the difference when I received it in the mail), and I ended up getting an RFE and having the send in the exemplified one to USCIS later.

If you already sent in your packet with a certified copy, just go get the exemplified copy to send in with your RFE.

Best of luck!

venusfire

Poll flawed. Middle question does that give option of "met in person".

I put less than 3 months since we met in person while working at the same restaurant in London....but really we met in person at the same time we met in person, so that makes no sense...but anyway........

Met in person, by chance. We were both working at the same club in London. Knew each other for about 9 months before we started dating, dated for 1 year before we got engaged, we've been engaged about a year (waiting on his divorce decree which he originally filed for in 2005!)

Well, that would be "less than 3 months" then!

Good luck waiting for the divorce decree. It's amazing how long the whole divorce process takes (and it's never really over when there are kids involved, it seems). Um, if the divorce was filed in 2005, I would think the decree would have come by now. Yikes! I hope he can figure all of that out. Waiting is bad enough without something else interfering. I hope everything works out soon for you. Best of luck.

venusfire

sigh...moved from off topic to general polls

moved because it's a poll. and this poll looks quite familiar to a few other polls in general polls.....

Sorry - I don't usually look through all sections of VJ... just got the idea from some posts I read... didn't realize it was more or less a repeat... Also saw that it's a flawed poll - sorry about that, too. Got a lot on my mind right now.

Not a good day for me overall.

venusfire

I saw some threads about USCIS checking up on people's Facebook/MySpace pages, and about how some people met on those sites. Since I'm procrastinating right now, I thought I'd create a poll about meeting.

Just for the record, since I've never done this before, I don't know if it will work or not. Even if I did it correctly, I don't know if I'll get a chance to 'vote'.

My SO and I met online in MySpace in May 2006. He first sent me a message on MySpace. After several days, we then moved the conversations to Yahoo IM and MSN IM. After about 6 weeks, I went to visit him the first time. We got lucky, and things moved along quickly. He was here and we were married about 8 months after the first message he sent me.

I hope this is fun for everyone.

Good luck to everyone on your journey.

venusfire