acabrelles

Everything went really smooth, I was asked very basic questions and the officer was very understanding. They were also very kind and I even managed to make them smile, I could see it under the mask. Thank you for everything, it's time to heal.

Everything went really smooth, I was asked very basic questions and the officer was very understanding. They were also very kind and I even managed to make them smile, I could see it under the mask. Thank you for everything, it's time to heal.

I hope we didn't dissuade you in any way.  Like I said, the journey to an immigrant visa in the US is long, complex and expensive.  This thread is full of people with good intentions and a lot of experience with US immigration, and we have seen first-hand how lack of planning can lead to disaster or denials.   It would be terrible if you were to be turned away at the port of entry for example, so we want you to be prepared.
 
Take your time to enjoy meeting your bf for the first time.  If and when you both are ready to commit to an immigration process, come back and we will be happy to help you go about it the legal way.   Best wishes to you both!

I am here to tell you that gay and lesbian people live everywhere throughout the USA.  Like I said, same sex marriage is legal in all 50 states.   

My spouse and I are a lesbian couple, and we "rehearsed" answers to questions she (Australian) might get from a border agent.  She knows herself well enough that she knows she gets anxious, and she has a tendency to run on at the mouth, instead of "Just the facts, ma'am".  All her answers were completely truthful.  ALWAYS.
 
So, she was always careful to say, "I am visiting my girlfriend, but we are doing this the proper way, and I am returning to Australia while our petition is being processed."  She always strove to show she knew what the law was, and that we were following it.  We were both retired at the time, so it wasn't like she had a job to return to.  She had a return ticket, and we only pressed the 90-day limit once.  After that, we were less than 60 days each time.
 
And now she is a citizen (and has been since 2018).  We were one of the first gay/lesbian couples to come through the CR-1 process after DOMA was repealed, and we never faced any discrimination in the process.  We also live in New York, so that made it a little easier.  I'm originally from Alabama, and I am glad we did not go through the process there.
 
Sukie in NY

you simply answer the questions they ask at the border - truthfully 

For any relationship that has only been online, the first step is to meet in person somewhere.  If you try to enter the US and are denied entry because of weak ties to your home country, and likely immigrant intent, then your boyfriend can go to Spain to visit you.  Once you have met in person for the first time, for a couple of weeks, then see where the relationship goes.  Where you eventually live together, and related immigration issues should only be considered after you have met in person and know each other better.  Immigrating to the US, as a spouse (CR-1) or fiancé (K-1), will take 1-2 years at least, so patience is going to be needed.  Don't rush into anything, as we see here on VJ all the time all of the problems that can cause.  Good luck, I hope it eventually works out for you.

I do not meet the medical requirements to apply for a k-1 or a job visa, vaccines wise. I had planned to continue with my vaccinations and to make sure I'm properly healthy before making any move or job search/visa requests. That and this would be our first proper visit where we are trying things out, as we started our relationship during the pandemic, not letting us have visits prior to this one. Marriage was only brought up as a possibility, but we are not as rash to go for it on the spot. The original plan will be, after being fully vaccinated, to look for a job as a main option, but that won't be until July of next year.
 
I am sorry, I really don't know what else to tell you. It's as far as we planned ahead. We wanted this long stay to be a way to recover after these past two years unable to see each other. I really hope I'm not coming off as condescending or anything of the sort with my answers, this is being a really rough thread for me right now.

Ahh I see. Did not see that. Probably was writing my response.
Good luck. Let us know when you will be admitted. Hopefully they won't question you too much!

You already called him SO.... and mentioned "move with him" and you were not even under pressure by a CBP officer....  basically if I play the devil's advocate you just admitted that it's more than a bf/bf thing and you are planning to move in with him.... And I am not even trained to ask the right questions or pull out a contradicting sentence from you

Is it your first time visiting the US? 88 days feels a lot. Usually I was coming for like 2-3 weeks at a time. That is more acceptable for CBP and I had work back home.
Quitting your job and coming to visit will raise some red flags for sure.  Had a friend over with ESTA and since her job was done in sessions of months and then time off (70 days) and she barely avoided secondary. CBP asked a bunch of questions, starting on where is she staying, why is she coming, what is she going to do for 70 days,  if we are in a relationship (I was the contact on the ESTA), is she planning to work , does she know anybody else in the US, etc.
 
I don't think you need to worry about being gay, I would worry more about convincing the officer that you won't be overstaying your allowed time... and since u have a bf in the US and quitting your job. What is your plan in the long run? I would not quit my job for somebody I was in an online relationship with so just I can visit....Especially not for 88 days. What if the two of you don't click IRL? Is he going to let you stay for 88 days regardless?
 
Btw you can just go and get vaccinated and be eligible for K1. If you plan doing the K1 start with the age appropriate vaccines so by the time you get to the K1 medical you would have all the required vaccines. Also there are vaccine requirement differences between K1 and adjusting status. Be sure to look those up too so you won;t need to pay the big bucks here in the US for the missing vaccines.

~~Moved to Tourist Visas, from General Immigration Discussion- The OP is asking about visiting~~

Sometimes the CBP officers can be very very persistent with their questioning. 
During one of my trips I was questioned for a good 5 minutes. The officer wanted to know how I met my partner. And the explicitly asked a) if we met online and b) if I had met them before.
Another time, they asked me when we were going to get married. Both times my trip was under 20 days. 
 
Things could work out fine. You could enter the US with no issues. You want to prepare for the worst and hope for the best. 
 
What do you mean you don't meet  the medical requirement to apply for a K1? Are you fully vaccinated against COVID? 

So besides the post surgical follow-up, what would bring you back to Spain?  The border patrol will assume that you will marry the American love interest, and stay to adjust status.   They are required by law to screen incoming travelers for this.  
 
Merely having a return ticket and a doctor's appointment back home will not be adequate, in my opinion.
 
And honestly, as you've titled this thread as advice for someone "new to the US" who has quit his job to devote spending his life with an American partner, it seems quite suspect.
 
Most people who genuinely want to travel to meet someone for the first time that they've been in an online relationship with are not yet inquiring about these things.
 
I urge to you research things thoroughly and read as much as possible (both of you).  It is the best wait to avoid costly mistakes, delays, and denials.

I don't know if I would book a ticket for the full three months (especially as you plan to quit your job before traveling).
Maybe consider just going over to the States for a 30-40 days. 
Planning to go to the States for 3 months to stay with your SO after quitting your job could raise flags and send you into secondary. 

I agree with the above, the only thing you mention that is a non issue is that you are in a same sex relationship.

You must always tell the truth to CBP.  Your statements become part of the record, and may be used later in the process if you have misrepresented your intentions.  Quitting your job in order to visit is not particularly smart.  Your admission to the US on an ESTA or B visa is entirely predicated on your ability to establish strong ties to home and reasons to return.
 
You may only visit on an ESTA.  If you want to move to the US, your partner needs to petition you properly.  You cannot remain in the US during this process.  You can visit, subject to CBP allowing you to enter the country.
 
US immigration is not cheap, or quick.  I suggest that your partner joins VJ and that you both read and research as much as possible to become educated about it.  Your partner especially needs to join and read, as he will be the one driving the petition process if you decide to go that route.
 
Edited to add:  same sex marriage has been legal in all 50 United States for years, and is not an issue at all for marriage-based visas.