Jtreason

I'm sorry to hear about that. I don't think it's a physical issue. I could be wrong but I feel she isn't interested or attracted to me. It's hard to get a fair answer to that since nobody can really tell their spouse that they aren't attractive.

That's exactly how I feel. I feel used and emasculated. I fell like less of a man. I only put it out here to see if anyone went through something similar and made it through. I read about sexless marriages all the time but it's usually after several years and kids. It's usually with 2 US born partners. I don't know if I'm not being patient enough or giving her all the chances she needs before I end it

I understand that it's unpleasant to be speaking with strangers about my sex life. However, at least for me, I can be a bit more honest online with strangers because nobody knows me. I couldn't have the same conversation with co workers or neighbors. I figured I would get more honest and broad advice by coming on here. 
 
In the past, I've tried doing the cheesy things that someone mentioned. I bought flowers, did all the chores, made surprise dinner etc. At the end, it was draining. I think that's what emasculated me the most. Doing all these things to try to win some sex that oh by the way, I never got.  We have discussed it in the past several times. I've heard excuses like she's tired, wasn't in the mood, or didn't think the timing is right. Before she came here, we would have sex without discussion or arguing. I've since stopped bringing it up and the last time we had a conversation about it was last year. That's why I'm here seeking answers.
 
You're right that new immigrants here have trouble adjusting here and that's why I figured this would be the best place for advice. The average american doesn't understand how to adjust to life as an immigrant. They don't understand that living in a new place could lead to depression. I posted my problem on a  popular relationship forum and 100% of the advice I received was to divorce her immediately. That might be the correct answer to the issue but I just wanted to make sure I exhausted all avenues before going that route. The main theme I got was that she was in this for a green card. 
 
And no, I haven't asked her if she found me attractive. To me, that's a sign of weakness on my end. For one, I feel like she would never had slept with me in the beginning if I wasn't somewhat attractive. Also, in my daily life and work, I talk to enough women to know that I wouldn't have trouble hooking up with someone if I was about that life. I've never had trouble with women before I met my wife. I don't need to ask her if I'm attractive because I know what I am. 
 
I'm not saying I'm perfect because no man is. What I'm saying is that I don't feel like I have to jump through all these hoops to get sex. I'm still a man deep down. My stuff still gets hard if I see an attractive woman. Being married doesn't change that. I find it funny how some of the responses want me to suppress who I am as a man because maybe she is uncomfortable. Anyway, I thank everyone for the advice. We'll try couples therapy the beginning of the year and if it didn't work, I'll divorce her and move on. I don't know what flipped in my head but at this point, I feel like I don't even want to sleep with her now. The disrespect has went on for too long and it turns me off just thinking about it.

I'm sorry to hear about that. I don't think it's a physical issue. I could be wrong but I feel she isn't interested or attracted to me. It's hard to get a fair answer to that since nobody can really tell their spouse that they aren't attractive.

That's exactly how I feel. I feel used and emasculated. I fell like less of a man. I only put it out here to see if anyone went through something similar and made it through. I read about sexless marriages all the time but it's usually after several years and kids. It's usually with 2 US born partners. I don't know if I'm not being patient enough or giving her all the chances she needs before I end it

I'm sorry to hear about that. I don't think it's a physical issue. I could be wrong but I feel she isn't interested or attracted to me. It's hard to get a fair answer to that since nobody can really tell their spouse that they aren't attractive.

That's exactly how I feel. I feel used and emasculated. I fell like less of a man. I only put it out here to see if anyone went through something similar and made it through. I read about sexless marriages all the time but it's usually after several years and kids. It's usually with 2 US born partners. I don't know if I'm not being patient enough or giving her all the chances she needs before I end it

I'll look into those things. I have no idea how divorce and her process will work. If she didn't sleep with me because she's using me, she may already have other plans anyway if I decide to pull the carpet. At this point, I don't think I care if she stays in the country or leaves. I just want to be happy

I'll look into those things. I have no idea how divorce and her process will work. If she didn't sleep with me because she's using me, she may already have other plans anyway if I decide to pull the carpet. At this point, I don't think I care if she stays in the country or leaves. I just want to be happy